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View Full Version : Psychologists Discover That Nagging Doesn’t Work.



100%
03-14-2007, 06:59 PM
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March 13, 2007 — New research shows that if a parent nags a son about cleaning up his room, the kid will probably dig in his heels and live in a pig pen even if he doesn't realize mom is still on his case.

The same holds true for a spouse. Or some other significant other. And the more controlling that person seems to be, the more likely the individual will "automatically do the opposite of that which the significant other wishes," the scientists report in the current issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

Psychologist Tanya Chartrand of Duke University, lead author of the report, says she conducted the study because she couldn't get her husband to do what she wanted him to do.

"My husband, while very charming in many ways, has an annoying tendency of doing exactly the opposite of what I would like him to do in many situations," she admits. That's not exactly a rare problem, but Chartrand found herself uniquely suited to find out why. She is married to Gavan Fitzsimons, also a Duke psychologist, who was recruited to help.
The Power of 'Reactant'

The husband and wife team, along with doctoral candidate Amy Dalton, wanted to plunge a little deeper into the subject than previous researchers. It's pretty well a given that many of us rebel against those who would rule our lives, be they parents or spouses or bosses, or even kids. Psychologists call it reactant, a powerful force that we employ when we think our independence is in jeopardy.

But do we know we are reacting like reactants? Could it be that sometimes we dig in our heels even when we don't know we're reacting to a nagger?

To find out, the researchers turned to a controversial tool, subliminal priming. A few decades ago that was a really big issue, because some research indicated that our minds could be tricked into buying certain products by subliminal advertising. It was feared that flashing the name of a particular brand on a television monitor so briefly that it registered subconsciously, even though we were unaware of having seen it, could influence our behavior. That was supposed to make us all dash out and buy a carton of Camels.
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Snee
03-14-2007, 07:04 PM
Yeah, I could have told them that.

Still no cure for cancer.

100%
03-14-2007, 07:07 PM
So i guess nagging them to nag is the only solution.

DV8type
03-14-2007, 07:28 PM
Yeah, I could have told them that.


i've been telling my GF, since the start....for some reason its in there blood

Shadowfire
03-14-2007, 07:39 PM
Psychology is about 85% overpriced bull shit. Yes, anyone can figure it out.

100%
03-14-2007, 07:54 PM
Dr. Chartrand announced that her next study,
will attempt to identify a link between the fifty pounds she’s gained since marriage
to the reduction in amorous advances by her husband.

gamer4eva
03-14-2007, 08:00 PM
Psychology is about 85% overpriced bull shit. Yes, anyone can figure it out.

Psychology sucks....:angry:

It is just some crap that generally has no full on fact and is different with each individual.

GepperRankins
03-14-2007, 08:10 PM
:dabs: i've been saying this for years

brotherdoobie
03-14-2007, 08:17 PM
Psychology is about 85% overpriced bull shit. Yes, anyone can figure it out.

I digress...some people have no insight at all and need a second opinion...
or third or fourth depending on how many pesonalities they exhibit.

Peace,bd :dabs:

thewizeard
03-14-2007, 08:42 PM
Nagging does work! Any idea know how great the capital movement is from male to female during divorce procedures in the US alone daily; and those clever Psychologists, glean their share too... :)

Busyman™
03-14-2007, 08:51 PM
Nagging does work. It just takes time.

There many things that my mother would nag me about for years when I was younger and now I do them automatically.

If I tell my 6 year-old to do something (that I always have to tell her) she will eventually get it (and if she huffs and puffs about she loses TV for the rest of the evening).

GepperRankins
03-14-2007, 09:09 PM
Nagging does work. It just takes time.

There many things that my mother would nag me about for years when I was younger and now I do them automatically.

If I tell my 6 year-old to do something (that I always have to tell her) she will eventually get it (and if she huffs and puffs about she loses TV for the rest of the evening).
:dabs: there's a difference between nagging and bribery

100%
03-14-2007, 09:21 PM
indeed
it is either
please clean your room
clean your room
clean your room now
if you don't clean your room then ...threat threat blackmail, guilt trip guilt trip etc etc

Nagging can be so easily changed with a different mentality, tone

what is the best approach?
suggest a hawt babe would probably stay in the room if it looked like some Bond setup?
Become emic, and hang out in the kids room, do it together?
etc

?

Busyman™
03-15-2007, 01:18 AM
indeed
it is either
please clean your room
clean your room
clean your room now
if you don't clean your room then ...threat threat blackmail, guilt trip guilt trip etc etc

Nagging can be so easily changed with a different mentality, tone

what is the best approach?
suggest a hawt babe would probably stay in the room if it looked like some Bond setup?
Become emic, and hang out in the kids room, do it together?
etc

?

I think good habits are taught early.

My point is that she's going to clean her room and I shouldn't have to say it twice. If she throws attitude about it, she loses TV.

I make concessions like allowing her to watch TV while cleaning (unless I want her to do it quickly).

If I tell her to clean her room and then let's say I go downstairs for 5 minutes and when I come back up she's doing squat then we have a problem.

If kids know early on what you expect from them then you'll have a great foundation later. Otherwise, you'll have some out of control teen with a subscription to "issues".

Tbh, I don't nag. I say it once so she knows and depending on what it is then she loses something if it's not done or done with a huff and puff (mini tantrum).

Kids must learn to control themselves and that they must do things that they may not like.

Parents need to sometimes forget they their child may not like them for the time being and teach their children "the correct way".

manker
03-15-2007, 01:31 AM
indeed
it is either
please clean your room
clean your room
clean your room now
if you don't clean your room then ...threat threat blackmail, guilt trip guilt trip etc etc

Nagging can be so easily changed with a different mentality, tone

what is the best approach?
suggest a hawt babe would probably stay in the room if it looked like some Bond setup?
Become emic, and hang out in the kids room, do it together?
etc

?

I think good habits are taught early.

My point is that she's going to clean her room and I shouldn't have to say it twice. If she throws attitude about it, she loses TV.

I make concessions like allowing her to watch TV while cleaning (unless I want her to do it quickly).

If I tell her to clean her room and then let's say I go downstairs for 5 minutes and when I come back up she's doing squat then we have a problem.

If kids know early on what you expect from them then you'll have a great foundation later. Otherwise, you'll have some out of control teen with a subscription to "issues".

Tbh, I don't nag. I say it once so she knows and depending on what it is then she loses something if it's not done or done with a huff and puff (mini tantrum).

Kids must learn to control themselves and that they must do things that they may not like.

Parents need to sometimes forget they their child may not like them for the time being and teach their children "the correct way".
Heh. Evil step-dad.

Busyman™
03-15-2007, 01:34 AM
I think good habits are taught early.

My point is that she's going to clean her room and I shouldn't have to say it twice. If she throws attitude about it, she loses TV.

I make concessions like allowing her to watch TV while cleaning (unless I want her to do it quickly).

If I tell her to clean her room and then let's say I go downstairs for 5 minutes and when I come back up she's doing squat then we have a problem.

If kids know early on what you expect from them then you'll have a great foundation later. Otherwise, you'll have some out of control teen with a subscription to "issues".

Tbh, I don't nag. I say it once so she knows and depending on what it is then she loses something if it's not done or done with a huff and puff (mini tantrum).

Kids must learn to control themselves and that they must do things that they may not like.

Parents need to sometimes forget they their child may not like them for the time being and teach their children "the correct way".
Heh. Evil step-dad.

:smilie4:

:devil:

I'm not always that way....just most of the time.

For instance, on Fridays and Saturdays we used to put her to bed at 10pm (8pm on school nights). I decided to let her stay up 'till 12am since she won't have to get up early anyway. A coupla times she wanted to give attitude about going to bed at 12am so it got wound back to 10pm. I explained to her that a person that is getting something extra need no complain. I understand that kids get tired and can get attitude due to that but I'm teaching her to check herself (even when tired).

Now we don't have a problem on that note.

snowultra
03-15-2007, 06:00 PM
doctors only know how to prescribe pills--now a days

Alien5
03-16-2007, 04:12 AM
ok dave