Make up a fact

[Mr JP Fugley]

Giraffe meat tastes a lot like swan

[Biggles]

Fish can smile

[Mr JP Fugley]

The arse is the largest bone in the human body.

[100%]

Traffic jams are humanities instinct of simply wanting to hug.

[Mr JP Fugley]

The tallest human being ever was a Greek lassie who liked to wear hats.

[GepperRankins]

this morning i was walking the dog, there were two yorkshire terriers circling each other and rotating independently about 70 metres above the playing field

[Mr JP Fugley]

If all the sponges in the oceans were removed the sea level would rise so much that the Dutch would all have to move to Belgium.

[GepperRankins]

it's possible to light a coal fire by telling it "yo momma" jokes

[Biggles]

Tarmac is the treacle flavoured version of Caramac

[Mr JP Fugley]

Plums are poisonous to Wombats.

[Lilmiss]

Jimbo is a sex god.

[Mr JP Fugley]

:lol:

[Biggles]

Jimbo is a sex god.

Thought they were supposed to be slightly plausible :shifty:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Woody Allan invented the penis ring.

[SaveFerris]

There are purple swallows in some parts of Africa.

[Mr JP Fugley]

It is impossible for a half-wit to become POTUS

[Biggles]

Putin invented the Pavlova

[Mr JP Fugley]

The Sand Wedge was first used by the Earl of Sand Wedge.

(See how I did a cross thread reference there)

[mbucari1]

Centrifugal force generated by spinning in circles releases pressure on the brain and temporarily increases thinking capacity.

[Cheese]

JRR Tolkien based much of Middle Earth on his childhood holidays to Cornwall.

[100%]

Michael Moore has all the facts.

[mbucari1]

Fugley is a term of endearment in the eastern tribes of Uganda

[mbucari1]

John Edwards Has a snowball's chance in hell of becoming president.

[Biggles]

John Edwards Has a snowball's chance in hell of becoming president.

That is not a made up fact though is it?

[mbucari1]

The first computer (by technical definition) was created by the Romans in 20 BC

[mbucari1]

John Edwards Has a snowball's chance in hell of becoming president.

That is not a made up fact though is it?I think it is :lol:

[Biggles]

German girls are completely bald from the neck down and have to wear protective underarm covers to retain body heat.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Due to gravity's effect on the joints a human being can shrink by over a foot between getting up and going back to bed.

[Cheese]

Tofik Bakhramov was posthumously knighted in 1996.

[Mr JP Fugley]

That's one of the most wonderfully obscure things I have ever seen.

And it's to your credit.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Eskimos have 148 words for air.

[Snee]

Scots have 257 words for hangover.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Identical twins are actually the same person, just slightly out of phase in spacetme.

[Proper Bo]

Dogs can't look upwards.

[Snee]

Dogs can't look upwards.

Stolen :dry:

=-=-

If they had better vocal cords dogs could speak as well as you or I. It's all that's stopping them.

[Proper Bo]

cpt_asda once broke a man's arm like a twig, with a single punch.

[Mr JP Fugley]

The first ever Turkey was made of aluminium and frost.

[CrabGirl]

The tallest human being ever was a Greek lassie who liked to wear hats.

:dabs:

[Snee]

Albania, on the other hand, is made entirely out of snot.

[CrabGirl]

There are a thousand hungry bees for every spoonful of honey you eat.

[Cheese]

The Greek version of Lassie was called Kerberos.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Fish are a type of flying potato.

[Snee]

Most swedes are in fact turnips.

[Mr JP Fugley]

The Greek version of Lassie was called Kerberos.


:drumthing:

[Skweeky]

If all the sponges in the oceans were removed the sea level would rise so much that the Dutch would all have to move to Belgium.



:blink:

That means Nigel would have to move in with my mum


:fear:

[Proper Bo]

Skweeky clearly understands that these facts are made up.

[Mr JP Fugley]

No Russian woman has ever won a bet

[Snee]

There are no russian women. They just pretend.

[Skweeky]

I'm a Russian woman

[Mr JP Fugley]

The first traffic signal was "No Unicycles"

[Skweeky]

True, there's one of those at the end of my street, installed there on request from JP

[Mr JP Fugley]

The first 300 people on the Moon were underwhelmed by the experience.

[Alien5]

65% of all lounge posts are based on a true story.

[Mr JP Fugley]

On average most people from Canadia are more intelligent than a Walnut.

[tralalala]

Obama is a messed-up, late liberal version of the biblical name Osama.

Fact. (orly? ya rly. srsly? ya srsly. no wai!!)

[Snee]

20% of all threads in a given forum should be about signatures.

It's a law.

[mbucari1]

The first deodorant was used by the Messapotamians in 5000 BC and was composed of crushed beetles and camel manure.

[j2k4]

Paul Potts is manker.

[brotherdoobie]

The tallest human being ever was a Greek lassie who liked to wear hats.

:dabs:


:lol:

She was French...and still to this very day, she carries a torch for my people.




-bd

[DefX]

Semen has the same nutritional value as strawberry flavored yogurt depending on its viscosity.

[jimbo12345]

i've only ever lied once. Just then.

or

Jimbo12345 = the cunnilingus champion of the world.

[tralalala]

A cup of tea will warm up if you fart on it for 2 years.

[Chip Monk]

Virgin's sweat tastes of almonds

[Cheese]

The last English manager to win the the 1st Division/Premiership was Lord Argyle Fondleberry who managed Caldwell Corinthians to the title in 1872.

[Cheese]

Garden gnomes were invented when new laws came into effect banning naked cherub statues.

[Cheese]

Hole-punchers are illegal in two American states. Texas and Utah.

[brotherdoobie]

73% of the welsh sheep population have never had sex- with another sheep.



-bd

[brotherdoobie]

Linkin Parks new album rawks!


-bd

[brotherdoobie]

53% of facts are cabbage.
Fact.


-bd

[Cheese]

The Cornish word for France is Flange. French people are known as Flangemen by the Cornish.

[brotherdoobie]

Jesus had a brother named Bob.

-bd

[brotherdoobie]

The forum isn't acting like a fag.
Double post. ftw.

-bd :dabs:

[Cheese]

Tipp-ex and grapefruit juice can form a highly corrosive acid if mixed in the right quantities.

[Biggles]

Jesus had a brother named Bob.

-bd

and a sister called Whitney-Channelle-Marie

[brotherdoobie]

She liked Paris. Bob was a simple man.


-bd

[Barbarossa]

Ireland is actually a gigantic raft made of polystyrene, and has to be anchored down to stop it floating away.

[Biggles]

Ian Paisley is a Cardinal

not many people know that.

[tralalala]

Internet forums are the CIA and FBI's way of catching people such as filesharers by studying the numbers they post in dingleberry counting threads.

[brotherdoobie]

Actually, it's made out of Irish potatoes.


-bd

[tralalala]

The first ever recorded use of toilet paper was a hairy lemming used by King James.

[Biggles]

Mrs Thatcher takes in waifs and strays and has 132 pet cats.

[tralalala]

Driving testers are cunts. Fact.

[tralalala]

The word FUCK is a typo error of the well known organization FCUK (French Connections United Kingdom), made back in the 1940's in the Highlands.

[brotherdoobie]

Mrs Thatcher takes in waifs and strays and has 132 pet cats.


CrabGirl, is that you?


-bd

[tralalala]

CrabGirl is Biggles. Fact.

[Barbarossa]

Chebus is actually a mermaid, and crabgirl is a messenger from Poseidon charged with locating her and coaxing her back into the ocean.

[GepperRankins]

i wouldn't mind being stuck in a lift with brotherdoobie

[brotherdoobie]

50% of "the daves" are fag.


-bd

[tralalala]

50% of fags are "The Daves"

[Chip Monk]

Frogs can often be found in the strangest places. Though they are never ashamed and admit it openly.

[Chip Monk]

Vancouver is an anagram.

[Chip Monk]

The ice is always smother on the other side.

[Chip Monk]

Identical twins can sense each others discomfort, even if they are up to a foot apart.

[tralalala]

Two plus two actually equals five.

[Chip Monk]

No Englishman has ever admitted defeat.

[tralalala]

No Englishman has ever been defeated.

[Cheese]

The Aztecs and Incas trained monkeys to wait on them, this practice was eventually stopped after the monkeys attempted to overthrow their masters in a bloody rebellion. The rebellion was ultimately crushed but not before a team of monkey commandos led the Spanish to South America in an act of revenge.

[Cheese]

Windmills weren't originally designed to pump water or grind crops, they were meant to scare off dragons and to keep questing Spanish knights busy.

[Chip Monk]

The highest cause of death in Portugal is swamp fever.

[Chip Monk]

The most popular hairstyle in 18th century China was the even steven with a temper fade.

[Barbarossa]

The most popular hairstyle in 18th century China was the even steven with a temper fade.

That's actually TRUE :O

[Cheese]

Canada has no stand-up comedians.

[Cheese]

Alliteration was invented in 1492 by Chiffy Chidchester III.

[brotherdoobie]

6 out of every 10 cats are lesbians.


-bd

[Chip Monk]

The most popular hairstyle in 18th century China was the even steven with a temper fade.

That's actually TRUE :O

Nobody said they had to be untrue. Just made up.

[Dr.Pretentious]

Leeches are suitable for petting zoos.

[brotherdoobie]

You can't get the bad aids from Barry Manilow.


-bd

[Chip Monk]

Under the right conditions a man can arouse himself using nothing more than simple pornography.

[100%]

Woofers where created because of Barry Manilow.

[Barbarossa]

Dr.Prententious's new avatar is better than his old one :dabs:

[Chip Monk]

TV's Les Dennis worked for the CIA during the cold war. His stage show is based on his real life experiences whilst doing that.

[Proper Bo]

TV's Les Dennis worked for the CIA during the cold war. His stage show is based on his real life experiences whilst doing that.

Les Dennis is the wench's dad.

[Barbarossa]

Les Dennis's real name is Dennis Les.

[brotherdoobie]

Crack was invented to keep the blacks in their place.


-bd

[Chip Monk]

During storms clouds huddle together to stay dry.

[100%]

Toilet paper was originally termed; "Leaf".

[Cheese]

Altersermophobia is the fear of regional accents.

[Barbarossa]

The Titanic was sunk on her maiden voyage by a giant lettuce.

[jimbo12345]

Jimbo is a sex god.

This may need to be deleted soon,as i aim to have it fact.

(this too may be a made up fact)

[Gripper]

Barbarossa has fixed the go to last read post button.

[Barbarossa]

Owl's eye's are so big that they can't move in their sockets, so they need to move their whole head to see different stuff.

[Chip Monk]

The plural of Texas is Texases.

[jimbo12345]

The middle east is the worlds number one holiday vacation right now.

[Barbarossa]

Kaleidoscope is the longest word you can type with one hand on a keyboard.

[Dr.Pretentious]

A small flatfish, known as the Albanian Founder, which is usually found in the Pacific ocean, is a very important economic resource for Papua New Guinea.

It does not go well on Pizza.

[jimbo12345]

"I'm a intelligent person" is an anagram of George (W) Bush.

[mbucari1]

Jimbo12345 Knows how to please older women

[Chip Monk]

If you stare at the Sun long enough you can burst into flames.

However looking at the Moon has the opposite effect.

[mbucari1]

Relative electronegativity is directly correlated with the alphabetical order of atoms' atomic symbol.

[jimbo12345]

The moon doesn't exist. It's just a weird spot that humans in their eyes.

[Dr.Pretentious]

Polaris, or as it is more commonly known, 'HD 8890', is known in the naval military field as 'The North Star'.

So called because it lies due north (magnetic) from Cock End, IL.

[Barbarossa]

You can avoid paying the congestion charge for driving into London by reversing out of the zone along the road on which you entered.

[jimbo12345]

Tony Blair is actually a gentic breeding effort to mix poodle with puddle.

[GepperRankins]

prices in the shops around british holiday resorts drop by half if you can put on a convincing local accent

[tralalala]

GPS machines are little midgets inside plastic boxes with maps alonside.

[jimbo12345]

midgets are purely the observers eyes being long sighted

[tralalala]

And vice versa.. Huge people are just the observers eyes being short sighted :)

[jimbo12345]

and short sighted midgets are truely petrified of giants.

[Chip Monk]

The littlest hobo was actually a trained cat, in a dog costume.

[jimbo12345]

Big Bird was a racist

[Cheese]

Kermit the Frog was actually an effeminate toad.

[jimbo12345]

scandalous.

Miss piggy was a tranny.

[jimbo12345]

Oh, and Martin Luther King was actually an insomniac, and saying he had a dream proves he's a lieing fuck.

[Dr.Pretentious]

James Bob's 'facts' are getting progressively less funny.

Their current humour level is 'painful'.

[mbucari1]

The last known case of smallpox in 1977 was due to illegal experiments performed by the CDC.

[Agrajag]

According to early Buddhist texts Donkeys are the one true fruit.

[GepperRankins]

john skelton invented hip hop

[Snee]

All women secretly want you to put their picture on the internet after you've broken up with them. Preferably pictures of them in the buff.

[Dr.Pretentious]

The true way of winning the love of your internet peers is to post pictures of your ex-girlfriends with the words, "I've hit that" under them.

[Agrajag]

Only three people were actually killed during the Spanish Inquisition. The rest were mildly inconvenienced at worst.

[Agrajag]

The true way of winning the love of your internet peers is to post pictures of your ex-girlfriend's with the words, "I've hit that" under them.

Your ex girlfriend's what.

[Dr.Pretentious]

The true way of winning the love of your internet peers is to post pictures of your ex-girlfriend's with the words, "I've hit that" under them.

Your ex girlfriend's what.

Piss off. You made me go back to my post to check my punctuation :dry:

[Snee]

Butt, it looks like.

[Agrajag]

Your ex girlfriend's what.

Piss off. You made me go back to my post to check my punctuation :dry:

:madeyoulook:

[Agrajag]

Chicken drumsticks stored in a mixture of cornflour and anti dandruff shampoo will keep almost indefinitely.

[Dr.Pretentious]

Making love to a beautiful woman is very much like going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way.

First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. Pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.

[Dr.Pretentious]

Lucy Punch is my ex-girlfriend.

http://z.about.com/d/tvcomedies/1/0/M/2/-/-/lucy_punch.jpg

I've hit that.

[Agrajag]

:lol::earl:

Made me think of the old bucking bronco thing when you approach from the rear and mid way thro' moan her sister's name. Then hang on for dear life.

[mbucari1]

The secret of life is that Thewizeard is actually God!

[Mr JP Fugley]

It is possible for a human being to survive on Guiness and elder berries.

[GepperRankins]

my dad lives on an island and the police closed the bridges and the river's lapping over the flood barrier :mellow:

[DefX]

If I don't turn the light switch on/off in my room 8 times every night before I go to sleep, the asteroid thats due to nearly hit Earth in 2028 won't miss at all.

[j2k4]

According to early Buddhist texts Donkeys are the one true fruit.

For which fact the Greeks have never forgiven the Monks.

[100%]

Classical paintings are mixed with a chemical which causes one to become sleepy.

[Mr JP Fugley]

If you play classical music to furniture it grows quicker.

[brotherdoobie]

In countries where women have no shoes...the food taste better.



-bd

[Mr JP Fugley]

Shoes were originally nailed to the wearer's feet, much like is the current fashion for horses. It was only during the first Crimean war that the lace was invented.

[100%]

The earliest sculptural version of Mother Earth was baked by a 100.000 men farting into the oven.

[brotherdoobie]

Toothpaste was invented by Ryan Seacrest.


-bd

[mbucari1]

LCD monitors will melt your corneas if you stare at them for 2 days straight.

[Snee]

99% of all people who call random strangers "mate" all the time on the internets are almost sane.

[Mr JP Fugley]

It is impossible to randomly call someone mate.

However it is entirely possible to call a random person mate.

Not a random person, a person selected at random.

[brotherdoobie]

Baby Jeebus is love.


-bd

[Biggles]

Lucy Punch is my ex-girlfriend.

http://z.about.com/d/tvcomedies/1/0/M/2/-/-/lucy_punch.jpg

I've hit that.

That is one of the nicest pictures of Matt Lucas I have seen

Fact

[brotherdoobie]

Fish are being bred...to taste like chicken.
Why not?



-bd

[Mr JP Fugley]

Matt Lucas was the tallest girl in her class at school.

[brotherdoobie]

Tall girls are easy.


-bd

[GepperRankins]

biggles kills picshurs dead

[Biggles]

biggles kills picshurs dead

Biggles is heartfelt sorry...

another fact.

[mbucari1]

JP Fugley was abused by priests as a child.

[brotherdoobie]

Tea bags are cheap in Canada.


-bd

[brotherdoobie]

mbucari1 (http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/../../member.php?u=150504) was born in Canada.


-bd

[Proper Bo]

canadia based jokes are still funny

[brotherdoobie]

Bo is funny.

fact



-bd

[Dr.Pretentious]

manker's last words before his untimely death were:

"Ask your employers for a P46 form, fill it in to the effect that your current job (with them) is your main job and take it direct to their accounts dept. That should sort the BR tax rate out - and get you a nice refund of the tax you've overpaid since you started."

[Gripper]

The Bubonic plague that devastated much of Europe in the middle ages was actually spread by an order of monks that hate rats and believe them to be Satan on Earth.

[mbucari1]

The average IQ of Americans is 110 :lol:

[tralalala]

FST is worth more than Google.

[DefX]

Langoliers from the Stephen King book are actually real and thats why time travel to the past is impossible.

[tralalala]

Chess is the highest paying sport in the world.

Fact.

[DefX]

Chess is the highest paying sport in the world.

Fact.


HA!

Chess is better than sex.

http://www.chessmaniac.com/Bobby_Fischer/Bobby_Fischer_Articles38.shtm

[Jagarga]

manker is dead.

[GepperRankins]

my dad didn't drown. the water went over the other side and now i think there's some fields under a few metres of water

[Hairbautt]

Jack Thompson has now become a world advocate in favor of violent video games. Claims it increases strategic thinking. :)

[jimbo12345]

I shot Kennedy.....and Michael Barrymore applie to be a lifeguard at my local spa.

[Agrajag]

Not Mr Kennedy ... Kennedy.

[jimbo12345]

?
he was male...

[Agrajag]

In 15th century Wales it was illegal to crank your spudgeon in a public place.

[100%]

Soap Bubbles are visual orgasms.

[tralalala]

It is illegal to masturbate more than once a day in Las Vegas.

[mbucari1]

The first 10 generations of humanity were all virgins.

[Proper Bo]

All fucking bats are wild.

[jimbo12345]

cricket was invented as a novel way to launch hand grenades across the channel to get to the Frenchies.

[Agrajag]

Snow can be preserved for up to three months if it is packed in sea salt.

[nooneIknow]

procter and gamble use human semen in all their shampoo's as it's know it makes you hair so silky and soft.

[mbucari1]

Morgan Freeman has cameras hidden in everyone's home.

[Agrajag]

Her Britannic Majesty, The Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland once worked in an abattoir where she was responsible for removing the eyes from pigs, prior to them being slaughtered. She left to further her career as a a cabinet maker, but that didn't work out due to the winter of discontent. She regrets that decision to this day.

[Mr. Mulder]

you can eat cotton buds, they're perfectly edible (but only on a Wednesday)

[tralalala]

George Bush used MSN Messenger to chat with Tony Blair during the war in Iraq.

[Agrajag]

It is actually possible, given the proper weather conditions, to put a quart in a pint jar.

[tralalala]

Tommy Cooper was an alien.

[tralalala]

Did you know that pessimists die an average of ten years sooner than optimists?

OWZAT? :)

[Snee]

Nammsibashfash is the most popular film to have come out of Bollywood, ever.

Its director, Kodong Bazam, even recieved a knighthood in Norway for his contributions towards the betterment of stuff, globally.

[Snee]

Originally, Tolkien wrote the Balrog gay.

[Mr JP Fugley]

97% of Belgians wish they were Dutch.

[mbucari1]

No one ever turns left. They unknowingly make 3 very fast right turns.

[Something Else]

Left handed people are 3 times more likely to get cancer.

[tralalala]

Left handed people are 20 times sexier than any right handed person could ever be :D

Lefties FTW!! :D :w00t:

[Alien5]

facts are ghey

[mbucari1]

Alien5 is interesting.

[tralalala]

Spam is tasty.

[Barbarossa]

There is absolutely no biological difference between the inside of a girl's mouth and the inside of a bloke's anus

[tralalala]

Barbie's maiden name is Dorris.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Marmalade is the staple diet in Peru.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Dipping your knob in chilli powder makes you more attractive to the ladies.

[Cheese]

Teddy Sheringham fought in both World Wars and he narrowly missed out on a call-up to the 1966 World Cup winning England squad.

[Barbarossa]

The Panama canal is so deep and so wide, that you can drive 100 double-decker buses down it at once, in 10 stacks of 10.

[Cheese]

If you ignore suicides when calculating the life expectancy of ginger people then the average ginger would live for 96 years. Unfortunately with suicides included the figure is 23 years.

[tralalala]

Afro-Americans have lighter skin than Afro-Caribbeans.

[Gripper]

Algipan rubbed into he genital area is a a good cure for pubic lice,it is also guaranteed to stop you getting AIDS.

[tralalala]

If you stand in cow poo you grow 3 inches taller for every hour you spend there.

[Mr JP Fugley]

The Beatles were a front for the CIA. It allowed them access to many areas which would otherwise be closed. e.g. Mutley, during the cold war.

They also made a slight profit, pre-tax.

[tralalala]

90% of long haired people are ghey :ghey:

[Barbarossa]

An old couple were once discovered to have been driving round the M25 motorway for 5 days straight until they ran out of petrol, because they couldn't find the exit for Leatherhead.

[Mr JP Fugley]

90% of gay people prefer relationships with people of the same sex

[tralalala]

75% of transgenders prefer secks with animals.

[Mr JP Fugley]

In ancient Greece dogs and cats regularly bought homes together. However it was purely to cut costs and not indicative of anything more than that.

[Barbarossa]

The Google search engine was originally named "Snorkle" by the university students who developed it.

[tralalala]

Yahoo was originally named "Waheeeeeeeee"

[Mr JP Fugley]

Ziggy played guitar with spiders, from Mars.

[Dr.Pretentious]

The said spiders caused constant problems as they were difficult to keep in tune.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Spiders hear through their reproductive organs, which can be up to 3 times the mass of their entire body.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Homosexuality is hereditary.

[Mr JP Fugley]

However a cure has recently been found.

[DefX]

If you hold you're pee for a day, you will run faster.

[Barbarossa]

If all the misplaced apostrophe's on this forum were placed end to end you would be able to walk to the moon.






It's on purpose, you gimp

[Mr JP Fugley]

:lol: coulndnt stop yourself putting the disclaimer in.

I on the other hand am perfectly content leaving it out.

[Barbarossa]

:pinch:

If I hadn't someone would have quoted me later pointing it out, and then I'd have been accused of a busy-edit or a busy-rod, etc... I was just saving everyone's time :emo:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Do you give a fuck what these people think.

[Barbarossa]

Now that manker's gone... no :dabs:

But I'd like to think that he'd want standards to be maintained in his abcess. :mellow: