What am I bid?

[Squeamous]

It's your lucky day you wonderful people. I have here a CD of Simply Red live in Cuba....it's a double one with 20 of their most popular hits including 'Something Got Me Started' and 'Fairground'. I'm sorry the photograph is a bit blurred but my camera wouldn't focus on something so shit.

http://i21.tinypic.com/2v0ygwn.jpg

The winner of this auction will win the right to dictate the method of it's destruction, to be posted on this thread. Please note that I do have access to liquid nitrogen and I will accept sexual favours in lieu of money.

[Skiz]

What auction? :unsure:

[Squeamous]

This is it! It's a virtual auction. Basically, this CD is going to get it so I thought I'd see how creative people can be.

[Biggles]

Insertion into Boris Johnstone's arse - to sort of gee him up for the rigours of canvassing?

[callum]

This is it! It's a virtual auction. Basically, this CD is going to get it so I thought I'd see how creative people can be.

You're going to have to make it a bit easier for skizo to understand. I would suggest " this here shiny disc is going to get it real good, yeehaw. the man that puts down the most dollars gets to pick if it's ma shotgun or the cooking box that's gonna kill it real good, real god damn good"

[Squeamous]

You're going to have to make it a bit easier for skizo to understand. I would suggest " this here shiny disc is going to get it real good, yeehaw. the man that puts down the most dollars gets to pick if it's ma shotgun or the cooking box that's gonna kill it real good, real god damn good"

:lol:

[Squeamous]

Insertion into Boris Johnstone's arse - to sort of gee him up for the rigours of canvassing?

OK, I should have stipulated, nothing will be done that will get me either imprisoned or in sexy Boris's bad books!

[tesco]

This is it! It's a virtual auction. Basically, this CD is going to get it so I thought I'd see how creative people can be.

You're going to have to make it a bit easier for skizo to understand. I would suggest " this here shiny disc is going to get it real good, yeehaw. the man that puts down the most dollars gets to pick if it's ma shotgun or the cooking box that's gonna kill it real good, real god damn good":lol:

[Skiz]

This is it! It's a virtual auction. Basically, this CD is going to get it so I thought I'd see how creative people can be.

You're going to have to make it a bit easier for skizo to understand. I would suggest " this here shiny disc is going to get it real good, yeehaw. the man that puts down the most dollars gets to pick if it's ma shotgun or the cooking box that's gonna kill it real good, real god damn good"

That makes perfect sense. :happy:

[Biggles]

Insertion into Boris Johnstone's arse - to sort of gee him up for the rigours of canvassing?

OK, I should have stipulated, nothing will be done that will get me either imprisoned or in sexy Boris's bad books!

I rather fancy Boris would do a Leslie Phillips

Well hellooo there

http://static.sky.com/images/pictures/1303750.jpg

[Squeamous]

Oooo, you reckon he's a little kinky then? He might be a bit fussy though.......I'd probably need to use a Brahms CD.

[MediaSlayer]

that cd looks unfaithful.

you should write a large scarlet "A" on it for adulterer with ketchup or blood and let others know of that sin.

then pour finger nail polish and gasoline on it and set it on fire, chanting "adulterer" "adulterer"




but i'm broke so could i request the sexual favor option if i win? thanks.

[Squeamous]

Well, my dad did have it before me, the cheap whore :dry:. The CD.....not my dad obviously.

[blackbird]

if you have a little kid in your home .. give that cd to him/her and watch the creativity .. lol

[Squeamous]

It's almost worth having a baby.

[Hairbautt]

if you have a little kid in your home .. give that cd to him/her and watch the creativity .. lol
lol

[Squeamous]

I am so bored I'm listening to this just to annoy myself.

[Mr JP Fugley]

CUNTING FUCK !!!!!!

[Squeamous]

Hahahaha! I didn't spot this before. There's a song on it called 'Sad Old Red'. Yes Fucknall, yes indeed.

This is the best Saturday night I've EVER had.

[Mr JP Fugley]

This is the best Saturday night I've EVER had.

That's the saddest thing I've ever read on the internets. :cry:

[SgtMajor]

I hope you got Vol 2 so I can bid on it.

[Squeamous]

That's the saddest thing I've ever read on the internets. :cry:

Sarcasm my friend!

[Squeamous]

I hope you got Vol 2 so I can bid on it.

It's your lucky day! Volume 2 is indeed included in this auction :)

[Spider_dude]

you should set fire to it and pour liquid hydrogen on it to put out the fire.

[Mr. Mulder]

agreed.

[SgtMajor]

I hope you got Vol 2 so I can bid on it.

It's your lucky day! Volume 2 is indeed included in this auction :)

Excellent, digs out old PC World mags with free floppies full of shareware on them and dusts them off and makes ready for the bidding to begin.

[Squeamous]

Liquid hydrogen on a flame!!! You get disqualified from this competition for COSHH violations.

[Mr JP Fugley]

That's the saddest thing I've ever read on the internets. :cry:

Sarcasm my friend!

How was that sarcastic.

[Squeamous]

Er, because spending Saturday night listening to fucknall crooning about superficial love has to be by anyone's definition, the worst night of their life.....shurely?

[Mr JP Fugley]

Er, because spending Saturday night listening to fucknall crooning about superficial love has to be by anyone's definition, the worst night of their life.....shurely?

Yeah, but did you think I was trying to hurt or upset you. If that's the case then I apologise.

[Squeamous]

No not at all! Don't be daft :). Thanks for the sentiment though, if I were upset I'd appreciate it :D.

[Mr JP Fugley]

So not sarcastic then.

[Squeamous]

No, I was being sarcastic when I said 'this is the best Saturday night ever'. Am I missing something?

[Mr JP Fugley]

No, I was being sarcastic when I said 'this is the best Saturday night ever'. Am I missing something?

How were you being sarcastic, who were you trying to hurt.

[Squeamous]

Oh! I think I understand. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was mocking myself.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Oh! I think I understand. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was mocking myself.

So no sarcasm at all, by anyone.

Thank fuck we've cleared that up.

You might want to think these things thro' in the future.

[Squeamous]

I would if I knew wtf you were talking about. You're not on your period are you?

[Mr JP Fugley]

:lol::earl:

[Squeamous]

Hahaha...there is actually a 'sarcasm society'. Brilliant! They say that 'Sarcasm refers to a humor that is at once cutting and bold in a mocking fashion. Sarcastic humour would never be described as gentle or endearing, but rather as caustic and bitter, describing situations, persons, or things in a derogatory way in order to be funny'. Doesn't say anything about it always being directed towards other people. One can presumably be sarcastic about oneself.

[Faggotbeater]

STFU and stuck a shitstained dildo in that filthy slut mouth of yours

[Squeamous]

Oh yeah, like I'm so going to do that!

BTW, did you mean 'stick' or 'suck'?