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mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 12:47 PM
This is my latest work

this is a question to all of you here who decide to read this.

As far as the shadows cast, the enravelling producers fast, even i thy be yourself says i, will welcome any predatory self says thy. When the creatures rest their willowfull wings, their chief calls out and sings, "This willowfull land that follows your wings, seems to be one of many derelict things, "no!" said i, pretrude the mountains and i shall be blessed. As far as you sing, the willowfull will rest.

by The Vergent Tallion

this is a sort of metaphoric question, those who understand it and those who dont please express your views.

bigboab
10-14-2007, 01:20 PM
Where is Cheese when he is needed?:)
Sorry the whole thing makes no sense to me.:(

Chip Monk
10-14-2007, 01:26 PM
I think you would really have to read it in the original Nigerian to get the proper sense.

For example he has used one "word" on three occasions which doesn't actually exist in the English language. Now I realise Shakespeare did that all the time, but let's be fair it's not exactly Shakespeare.

It's also difficult to see which particular poetic form he is going for. Perhaps he can enlighten us.

In short, it's just rambling.

Please consider my view expressed.

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 01:36 PM
I think you would really have to read it in the original Nigerian to get the proper sense.

For example he has used one "word" on three occasions which doesn't actually exist in the English language. Now I realise Shakespeare did that all the time, but let's be fair it's not exactly Shakespeare.

It's also difficult to see which particular poetic form he is going for. Perhaps he can enlighten us.

In short, it's just rambling.

Please consider my view expressed.

yes "willowfull" is an old shakespearean word used in a few extracts, it is not written to comply with a form, and i appreciate your view, it is "rambling" to most people, but i would be right to think that most people here would not have extensive knowlege of metaphoric poems.

j2k4
10-14-2007, 01:36 PM
"thy be yourself" ?

Surely you joust...:whistling

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 01:40 PM
"thy be yourself" ?

Surely you joust...:whistling

no i do not, it is although based around the medieval era.
please dont forget that this is a serious discussion.

Agrajag
10-14-2007, 01:53 PM
What about "enravelling" and "pretrude", are these also old Shakespearian words.

Not really seeing the metaphor you are grasping at.

Like you said I have no knowledge of metaphorical poetry, so to me it's just bunkum. Looks like an attempt to write it in a pretentious manner, but bunkum none the less.

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 02:01 PM
What about "enravelling" and "pretrude", are these also old Shakespearian words.

Not really seeing the metaphor you are grasping at.

Like you said I have no knowledge of metaphorical poetry, so to me it's just bunkum. Looks like an attempt to write it in a pretentious manner, but bunkum none the less.

incorrect, as i said-
...that most people here would not have extensive knowlege of metaphoric poems.As i said earlier, this is not complying to any form, so words used are not only of shakespearean, rather a mix. Part of understanding this is the careful use of the words, it is a mix between old and new, this will help you understand the metaphor in the poem.

Agrajag
10-14-2007, 02:07 PM
So where do "enravelling" and "pretrude" come from and what do they mean.

What does "willowfull" mean.

Maybe if you post their meanings people will be able to understand the metaphor. Indeed it will be impossible for them if they don't know what the words mean.

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 02:25 PM
enravelling: to be active in an unpredictable manner.
pretrude: to extract life.
willowfull: forgiving yet tiring.

enravelling and pretrude are words first used in the Victorian era (1837-1901), first used by Lewis Carroll.

i dont think i need to explain each and every word as this will turn into a lecture which will defeat the purpose of this thread.

Chip Monk
10-14-2007, 02:41 PM
There's really not a great deal of point in doing this if you're just going to make things up.

Waste of my time.

j2k4
10-14-2007, 02:44 PM
enravelling: to be active in an unpredictable manner.
pretrude: to extract life.
willowfull: forgiving yet tiring.

enravelling and pretrude are words first used in the Victorian era (1837-1901), first used by Lewis Carroll.

i dont think i need to explain each and every word as this will turn into a lecture which will defeat the purpose of this thread.


Then perhaps you should start another thread wherein you could provide all of the responses, hence sidestepping your fear of lecturing us.

Insofar as the Shakespearean style has receded to artifact, you are a minority of one, here, and the serious discussion you purport to desire is nowhere to be found in this forum, I don't think.

I suggest you try www.arcaneobscureandcenturiesoutofdate.com :whistling

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 02:44 PM
There's really not a great deal of point in doing this if you're just going to make things up.

Waste of my time.

What has been made up? Everything is a waste of time for the unintelligent.

Mr JP Fugley
10-14-2007, 02:46 PM
Kev, he's just a troll. Keep your eye on him for early bannage.

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 02:47 PM
enravelling: to be active in an unpredictable manner.
pretrude: to extract life.
willowfull: forgiving yet tiring.

enravelling and pretrude are words first used in the Victorian era (1837-1901), first used by Lewis Carroll.

i dont think i need to explain each and every word as this will turn into a lecture which will defeat the purpose of this thread.


Then perhaps you should start another thread wherein you could provide all of the responses, hence sidestepping your fear of lecturing us.

Insofar as the Shakespearean style has receded to artifact, you are a minority of one, here, and the serious discussion you purport to desire is nowhere to be found in this forum, I don't think.

I suggest you try www.arcaneobscureandcenturiesoutofdate.com (http://www.arcaneobscureandcenturiesoutofdate.com) :whistling

i agree with your second paragrah, i expected different from this forum, not anything negative, just different. As for your disasterous attempt as a joke/insult, very childish and certainly not humorous in any way.

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 02:49 PM
Kev, he's just a troll. Keep your eye on him for early bannage.

"ignored".

Sextent
10-14-2007, 02:52 PM
You already said you were ignoring him, muppet.

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 02:58 PM
You already said you were ignoring him, muppet.

He did so as the number of times i used the word ignore in quotes, i am simply mocking him, thats too much for you to grasp, young one.

mr.mystery
10-14-2007, 03:04 PM
you are taking too long, i must go now.

goodbye.

j2k4
10-14-2007, 03:08 PM
Then perhaps you should start another thread wherein you could provide all of the responses, hence sidestepping your fear of lecturing us.

Insofar as the Shakespearean style has receded to artifact, you are a minority of one, here, and the serious discussion you purport to desire is nowhere to be found in this forum, I don't think.

I suggest you try www.arcaneobscureandcenturiesoutofdate.com (http://www.arcaneobscureandcenturiesoutofdate.com) :whistling

i agree with your second paragrah, i expected different from this forum, not anything negative, just different. As for your disasterous attempt as a joke/insult, very childish and certainly not humorous in any way.

Well, then.

By all means, proceed.





Oooops...almost forgot - for your edification: :whistling

clocker
10-14-2007, 11:57 PM
As an entry in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/) it has great merit.

bigboab
10-15-2007, 12:33 PM
As an entry in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/) it has great merit.

Do you read this stuff on a winters night, Sir?

clocker
10-15-2007, 01:07 PM
Yup.

Brenya
10-22-2007, 05:24 AM
As far as the shadows cast, the enravelling producers fast. "Even if thy be yourself--" says I, "I'll still welcome any predatory self" says thy.
When the creatures rest their willowfull wings, their chief calls out and sings, "This willowfull land that follows your wings, seems to be one of many derelict things."
"No!" says I, "Pretrude the mountains and you shall be blessed! As far as you sing, the willowfull will rest."I actually really it. I reorganized it just a bit to make more sense. I am pretty sure I got it right. And you really need to translate the words "willowfull", "pretrude", and "enravelling" the way mr.mystery said:


enravelling: to be active in an unpredictable manner.
pretrude: to extract life.
willowfull: forgiving yet tiring.
The transition between the 2nd and 3rd sentence is abrupt, but I like it. It's not great, but still enjoyable for its length. I'm allowed to like a "[very very] short story" written by a troll, aren't I?

*edit* and no, i can assure you i am not mr.mystery..

Jiggles
10-23-2007, 05:45 AM
i think mr.mystery made it up as he typed it- literally, also with his other poem. the name "Vergent Tallion" was also typed as he went along. Everything was typed as he went along, the 3 made up words and their translations were done the same.

i assume.

bigboab
10-23-2007, 07:55 AM
I actually really it. I reorganized it just a bit to make more sense. I am pretty sure I got it right. And you really need to translate the words "willowfull", "pretrude", and "enravelling" the way mr.mystery said:


enravelling: to be active in an unpredictable manner.
pretrude: to extract life.
willowfull: forgiving yet tiring.
The transition between the 2nd and 3rd sentence is abrupt, but I like it. It's not great, but still enjoyable for its length. I'm allowed to like a "[very very] short story" written by a troll, aren't I?

*edit* and no, i can assure you i am not mr.mystery..

Thanks, your version makes more sense. I don't know what Clocker will think of it though.:ph34r:

clocker
10-23-2007, 10:42 PM
Thanks, your version makes more sense. I don't know what Clocker will think of it though.:ph34r:
Any bit 'o prose that includes "pretrude" is OK by me.

Mr JP Fugley
10-23-2007, 10:56 PM
I actually really it.

Fair enough.

j2k4
10-24-2007, 07:23 PM
I actually really it. I reorganized it just a bit to make more sense. I am pretty sure I got it right. And you really need to translate the words "willowfull", "pretrude", and "enravelling" the way mr.mystery said:
The transition between the 2nd and 3rd sentence is abrupt, but I like it. It's not great, but still enjoyable for its length. I'm allowed to like a "[very very] short story" written by a troll, aren't I?

*edit* and no, i can assure you i am not mr.mystery..

Thanks, your version makes more sense. I don't know what Clocker will think of it though.:ph34r:

Agreed...




Thanks, your version makes more sense. I don't know what Clocker will think of it though.:ph34r:
Any bit 'o prose that includes "pretrude" is OK by me.

Agreed...



I actually really it.

Fair enough.

...and agreed. :whistling

Biggles
10-25-2007, 07:21 PM
The word pretrude made me slightly moist :naughty:

Mr JP Fugley
10-25-2007, 09:29 PM
The word pretrude made me slightly moist :naughty:

:sick:

That wasn't very willowful of you.

bigboab
10-25-2007, 09:31 PM
The word pretrude made me slightly moist :naughty:

Does you moistness pretrude a strange ode*r?

Staying on thread.:)

We will find a use for this word yet.:lol: