Near Misses...

[tite-wad]

Have an "almost" quote?

Please share! :)

"Emulation is the sincerest from of flatulence."

[Ron]

Better to hold one bird in your hand, than have no hand at all.

[Lamsey]

My old classic:

A truly lazy person never finishes anyth

[J'Pol]

You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

[lynx]

Originally posted by JPaul@21 July 2003 - 17:28
You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Ah, plagiarism, so sweet.

[lynx]

The mountain may come to Mohammed, but rhubarb must be forced.

[Riddler]

Give a man a beer and his thirst shall be quenched.......show a man where the fridge is and you're in trouble !

[J'Pol]

Originally posted by lynx+21 July 2003 - 17:33--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (lynx @ 21 July 2003 - 17:33)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-JPaul@21 July 2003 - 17:28
You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Ah, plagiarism, so sweet. [/b][/quote]
I don&#39;t understand the plagiarism comment.

That is something a friend of mine used to say, roughly 25 years ago. So unless you know Brian and don&#39;t see what you are accusing me of.

I am of course plagiarising him, however given that this is a "quotes" thread surely that is acceptable.

Unless of course - Brian, is that you.

[lynx]

Originally posted by JPaul+21 July 2003 - 20:45--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (JPaul @ 21 July 2003 - 20:45)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Originally posted by lynx@21 July 2003 - 17:33
<!--QuoteBegin-JPaul@21 July 2003 - 17:28
You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Ah, plagiarism, so sweet.
I don&#39;t understand the plagiarism comment.

That is something a friend of mine used to say, roughly 25 years ago. So unless you know Brian and don&#39;t see what you are accusing me of.

I am of course plagiarising him, however given that this is a "quotes" thread surely that is acceptable.

Unless of course - Brian, is that you. [/b][/quote]
My apologies then, I posted exactly that line in a thread in the funnies.
Doesn&#39;t appear to be there now, I guess it has gone with VB&#39;s cleanup.

It was just that I was going to use it myself.

[J'Pol]

So it&#39;s not Brian, that&#39;s quite dissapointing - no offence.

[Illuminati]

If at first you don&#39;t succeed, then skydiving really isn&#39;t for you

[Riddler]

Originally posted by Illuminati@21 July 2003 - 13:22
If at first you don&#39;t succeed, then skydiving really isn&#39;t for you
Hey &#33; That used to be my sig &#33; http://www.piczonline.com/client/riddler/thumb-up1.gif

[J'Pol]

Ah, plagiarism, so sweet.

[J'Pol]

:P :P :P :P

[Riddler]

:lol:

[tite-wad]

"Masturbation is the sincerest form of whackery"

http://members.roadfly.com/tite-wad/space.GIFhttp://members.roadfly.com/tite-wad/space.GIFhttp://members.roadfly.com/tite-wad/space.GIFhttp://members.roadfly.com/tite-wad/space.GIFhttp://galleries.vinyamar.com/ps/show.php?id=VlfDpvz6NnFwqOnza9iBE63rn&ext=.gif

http://members.roadfly.com/tite-wad/space.GIFhttp://members.roadfly.com/tite-wad/space.GIFhttp://members.roadfly.com/tite-wad/space.GIF(Thanks for the smiley ilw.)

[Spindulik]

Two airplanes: "A NEAR MISS? Damn, that&#39;s a direct HIT&#33;" -George Carlin

It shoud be...
"Near HIT&#33;" or "Nearly hitting"

Right?

[Spindulik]

Okay, my favorite.

"Never memorize something that can looked up in a book -Albert Einstien

[WeeMouse]

I liked these two quotes i found...

this one was from a church bullitin - "The sermon this morning &#39;Jesus Walks on the Water&#39;; the sermon tonight &#39;Searching for Jesus"

And this newspaper headline - "Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

teeheehee&#33; :)

[lynx]

Originally posted by JPaul@21 July 2003 - 21:29
Ah, plagiarism, so sweet.
I wish I&#39;d said that :P

[Lilmiss]

ive seen a t-shirt i want, with;
<span style='color:purple'>"go home, the village needs their idiot" on it.

quite fitting for me, i thinks. :blink: </span>

[Ron]

He who digs a hole for himself, is a hobbyist?

[Ron]

Is it plagiarism when quoting someone, but you don&#39;t know who?

Mary had a little lamb.
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ass
and turned its wool to nylon

[Ron]

An even better one (IMHO)

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides,
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
&#39;t was split right up the front,
...but she didn&#39;t wear that one very often.

:D :D :D

[I.am]

heard from a freind

Someone gave me a lined paper, I wrote sideways

[chalkmongoose]

The modern cinematic emporium
Is by no means the merest sex-orium,
...But a highly effectual
...Heterosexual
Mutual masturbatorium.
(1943)

[Riddler]

Originally posted by Ron@21 July 2003 - 19:07
An even better one (IMHO)

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides,
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
&#39;t was split right up the front,
...but she didn&#39;t wear that one very often.

:D :D :D
http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/ROFL.gif

[Ron]

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
and now, there&#39;s little Frankie

[imnotanaddict]

if the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
it means they use more fertilizer

[kAb]

i dunno if this really counts, but i like it:

I think we ought to have a new rule: You can ask two questions, and then we can pick the one we want to answer.

-Donald Rumsfeld

[tite-wad]

Originally posted by imnotanaddict@22 July 2003 - 22:11
if the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
it means they use more fertilizer
Hi there add&#33;

Haven&#39;t seen you since the Phorum. http://members.roadfly.com/tite-wad/nervous.gif

[imnotanaddict]

hey tw whats new?
this may be an auctual qoute not sure do ya think it applies to this forum?
more doors are opened with please than with keys and 1 im good at
"to err is human - to blame it on someone else is more human"
did you get any tornado&#39;s around your area a couple days ago?

[tite-wad]

It would depend on what you mean by "applies".

Is applied, or should be applied?

I can see a little of both. :P

I think there were some "strong wind damage" reports across the line (Ohio) but just mostly thunderstorms here.

To be honest, I don&#39;t watch much television in the summer.

Shad0w and I are playing Hangman in MovieWorld if you get bored in here. ;)



Edit: Oops - wrong World

[Riddler]

@ Ron...........
Mary had a little lamb,
The doctors all threw up.

http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Puke%20Chicken.gif

[stillwater]

Jack and Gill
went up the hill
to fetch a pale of water
God knows what happened there
they came back with a daughter

[Ron]

LOL @ Riddler. :lol:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Said, "F--- him, he&#39;s only an egg.

[Riddler]

http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Grin%20Nod.gif

[MetroStars]

Close but no Cigar

[Ron]

:blink:
Close but no cigar? I don&#39;t get it.
What&#39;s different about that?

Georgie Porgy pudding &#39;n pie,
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
he kissed them too, &#39;cause he was gay.
:P