How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[xfrodobagginsx]

ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT IF YOU DIED TODAY THAT YOU WOULD GO TO HEAVEN?

There are some things that you should know:

1. Realize that you are a sinner and in need of a Savior:

Ro 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

Ro 3:10 "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"

This all began with the story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. God created them perfect, there was no death or sorrow. God told them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They disobeyed God and as a result, sin entered into the world. The pain which this world sees is the result of sin.

2. Because of our sins, we die both spiritually and physically, but God sent His Son to die so that you can have a chance not to have to go to hell by accepting what He did on the cross for you:

Ro 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Ro 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. for us."

Every person who has ever lived is a sinner and is not righteous because we do bad things. A sin is a crime against God, just as if you steal something at the store, it is punishable by going to jail. It's the same thing with sin. Even if we lie one time, the punishment is hell, which is a prison for those who commit crimes against God. No matter how well you live your life from then on, you have already committed a sin which will be punished if you are not pardoned. If you commit a crime, and then live as a good citizen you still will go to jail for the crime you committed. Right? Just as the president can pardon a crime so you won't go to jail, Jesus can pardon your sins so that you do not go to hell, and can go to heaven when you die.

3. If you will confess to Jesus Christ that you are a sinner and in need of a Savior, except Him as Lord and Savior and believe in your heart that He died on the cross and rose from the dead you will be saved.

Ro 10:9,10 "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.."

Joh 1:12 Joh 1:12 “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name”


You cannot get to heaven by being a good person, going to church, baptism or any other way other than by turning to Jesus and asking Him to forgive you for your sins and save you. While these are good things to do, some people believe that they will get to heaven if they do these things, but the bible says that there is only one way to heaven and that is through receiving what Jesus Christ did on the cross for you.

Will you do that today? If you will, you can be 100% sure that you will go to heaven when you die.

Do you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the dead for your sins? Are you willing to turn from your sins to Jesus Christ for Salvation?

4. If you are willing to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior please pray this prayer to God from your heart:

"Dear LORD JESUS, I believe that YOU died on the Cross and Rose from the dead for my sins. I ask you to come into my heart and forgive me for my sins, take me to heaven when I die. I now receive You as my Lord and Savior. Thank You for saving me. In Jesus holy name, Amen."

If you prayed that prayer from your heart to God, and meant it with all of your heart, you are now a child of God and will go to heaven when you die.

Now that you are on your way to heaven, you should attend a bible believing church and follow in baptism.

[Aaxel21]

Nope I'm a scientologist. As long as my dues are paid the aliens will come and get me. J/k

[Alien5]

in the beginning there was spam...


ARE YOU 100% :o


Now that you are on your way to heaven I fucking hope not :fear:

[Aaxel21]

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c208/Aaxel21/spam.jpg

:frusty:

[masterbat]

post too long . me no read

me loves stairway to heaven and highway to hell

Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on

copy paste FTW

[Alien5]

:clap:

[bigboab]

Three Steps To Heaven.

Great record by Eddie Cochrane. He managed it pretty early.:(

[Alien5]

heaven is a place on earth - blender wots her name.

[bigboab]

heaven is a place on earth - blender wots her name.

That's the one! :lol:

[Aaxel21]

Don't take the Lord's name in spam.

[bigboab]

Don't take the Lord's name in spam.

What is the Lord's name?:unsure:

[Snee]

ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT IF YOU DIED TODAY THAT YOU WOULD GO TO HEAVEN?

There are some things that you should know:

1. Realize that you are a sinner and in need of a Savior:

Ro 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

Ro 3:10 "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"

This all began with the story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. God created them perfect, there was no death or sorrow. God told them not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They disobeyed God and as a result, sin entered into the world. The pain which this world sees is the result of sin.

2. Because of our sins, we die both spiritually and physically, but God sent His Son to die so that you can have a chance not to have to go to hell by accepting what He did on the cross for you:

Ro 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Ro 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. for us."

Every person who has ever lived is a sinner and is not righteous because we do bad things. A sin is a crime against God, just as if you steal something at the store, it is punishable by going to jail. It's the same thing with sin. Even if we lie one time, the punishment is hell, which is a prison for those who commit crimes against God. No matter how well you live your life from then on, you have already committed a sin which will be punished if you are not pardoned. If you commit a crime, and then live as a good citizen you still will go to jail for the crime you committed. Right? Just as the president can pardon a crime so you won't go to jail, Jesus can pardon your sins so that you do not go to hell, and can go to heaven when you die.

3. If you will confess to Jesus Christ that you are a sinner and in need of a Savior, except Him as Lord and Savior and believe in your heart that He died on the cross and rose from the dead you will be saved.

Ro 10:9,10 "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.."

Joh 1:12 Joh 1:12 “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name”


You cannot get to heaven by being a good person, going to church, baptism or any other way other than by turning to Jesus and asking Him to forgive you for your sins and save you. While these are good things to do, some people believe that they will get to heaven if they do these things, but the bible says that there is only one way to heaven and that is through receiving what Jesus Christ did on the cross for you.

Will you do that today? If you will, you can be 100% sure that you will go to heaven when you die.

Do you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and rose from the dead for your sins? Are you willing to turn from your sins to Jesus Christ for Salvation?
4. If you are willing to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior please pray this prayer to God from your heart:

"Dear LORD JESUS, I believe that YOU died on the Cross and Rose from the dead for my sins. I ask you to come into my heart and forgive me for my sins, take me to heaven when I die. I now receive You as my Lord and Savior. Thank You for saving me. In Jesus holy name, Amen."

If you prayed that prayer from your heart to God, and meant it with all of your heart, you are now a child of God and will go to heaven when you die.

Now that you are on your way to heaven, you should attend a bible believing church and follow in baptism.



Haven't seen one of these for ages. Huzzah.


I'm pretty sure that forcing your beliefs and ideas on others ought to be a sin, if it isn't.

Sorry mate, you're probably going to hell just for that :no:

[xfrodobagginsx]

Then why are you forcing your views on me by clicking on this thread? You weren't forced to come here. Please leave.

[Snee]

Yep, straight to hell.

Too bad, rly.

[masterbat]

Then why are you forcing your views on me by clicking on this thread? You weren't forced to come here. Please leave.

ex frodo banging sex ?

what kinda name is that :lol:

http://img330.imageshack.us/img330/7113/jeebus9fw.jpg

[Snee]

Then why are you forcing your views on me by clicking on this thread? You weren't forced to come here. Please leave.

ex frodo banging sex ?

what kinda name is that :lol:



So the man likes hobbit porn. Don't put him down for that, it's prolly sinning if you do. Judge not, lest you be judged, like that guy mohammed or someone said.

[Barbarossa]

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"?

Gandalf, I think.

[JROQuinn]

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"?

Gandalf, I think.

Nah it wasnt Gandalf...but how is he forcing his beliefs on some of you?
Did he force you to click on this thread and hold a gun to your head to read this? My opinion is he has a concern that he believes to be true and wanted to share in hopes some would follow. Is that not allowed here? All the time in this forum people express their beliefs in so many areas. I share in this belief but I express it in other ways.

[Barbarossa]

Are you sure it wasn't Gandalf? :blink:

[Mr. Mulder]

these two barely legal blonds came to my door the other day wanting to talk to me about the bible - which was obviousmently code for sexytime :naughty: was totally gonna invite them in but the gf was here and she said no. racist. :(

[Mr. Mulder]

nearly forgot...

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a279/darth-enigmus/thread-fail-stamp.gif

[Snee]

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"?

Gandalf, I think.

Nah it wasnt Gandalf...but how is he forcing his beliefs on some of you?
Did he force you to click on this thread and hold a gun to your head to read this? My opinion is he has a concern that he believes to be true and wanted to share in hopes some would follow. Is that not allowed here? All the time in this forum people express their beliefs in so many areas. I share in this belief but I express it in other ways.

We used to get them in here on a regular basis, these hit and run types. Huge text bricks, and ominous warnings about how we aren't fit to whatever unless we repent or embrace jesus or something else.

It's a damned nuisance. And they did come to us, not the other way around, unless you haven't noticed, like. You don't really make a thread like this for discussion, you do it to preach.

As this is a discussion forum, and all, I tend to give people the benefit of a doubt and look at what they have to say, threads like this, preaching and all, sort of ruins the point of that, and exploits people's good natures, like. Or do you reckon I should put him, and you and every other nub on ignore before I know who they are?

[Barbarossa]

I suppose it could have been Aragorn, but it sounds a bit too profound for him :eyebrows:

[Mr. Mulder]

http://boingboing.net/images/fsmdragoncon.jpg

[Mr. Mulder]

http://altporn.net/wp-content/images/4590b44d910d4-fsm.jpg

/would

[Snee]

/so totally wood.

[Barbarossa]

I can feel a tingling in my noodly appendage :w00t:

[Mr. Mulder]

http://www.cornichon.org/archives/shirtiwtb.jpg

win.

[JROQuinn]

We used to get them in here on a regular basis, these hit and run types. Huge text bricks, and ominous warnings about how we aren't fit to whatever unless we repent or embrace jesus or something else.

It's a damned nuisance. And they did come to us, not the other way around, unless you haven't noticed, like. You don't really make a thread like this for discussion, you do it to preach.

As this is a discussion forum, and all, I tend to give people the benefit of a doubt and look at what they have to say, threads like this, preaching and all, sort of ruins the point of that, and exploits people's good natures, like. Or do you reckon I should put him, and you and every other nub on ignore before I know who they are?

Even I agree its annoying, and I didnt know you had these all the time. Forgive me for being a n00b...geez

[masterbat]

i love this bible though :D

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1

[masterbat]

Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all pr3ggerz from Teh Forse.19 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_1#19) Joseph was liek "I has virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".20 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_1#20) But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a WallCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! I'm in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don't be scairdy cat. Take Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HoverCat is on hur, givn hur feetus, srsly.21 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_1#21) "And she gonna made a son, and you gonna call him Jeezus, cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbye."22 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_1#22) So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. His proffet was all liek:23 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_1#23) "Hay guise, look! teh virjn iz all preggers, and dey gonna call him Immanuel", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wit us"24 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_1#24) Then Joseph waked up, done wat teh angel frm Ceiling Cat tolded him to, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.25 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_1#25) And dey didnt has teh HARBL GOES WHERE!?!? til affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jeezus. Ktnx.

[masterbat]

rofl . lol . again lmao

i just cant stop laughing

[Peter North]

Well im out then...

[GepperRankins]

can't wait for the apocalypse. all the fundies can go up to heaven and leave us alone. the ones that got it wrong can STFU about it. we can put out the fires, fix everything with science. a good deal of wars will probably be over for good too

[bigboab]

can't wait for the apocalypse. all the fundies can go up to heaven and leave us alone. the ones that got it wrong can STFU about it. we can put out the fires, fix everything with science. a good deal of wars will probably be over for good too

What are fundies?:)

[GepperRankins]

can't wait for the apocalypse. all the fundies can go up to heaven and leave us alone. the ones that got it wrong can STFU about it. we can put out the fires, fix everything with science. a good deal of wars will probably be over for good too

What are fundies?:)

religious fundamentalists :|

[bigboab]

What are fundies?:)

religious fundamentalists :|

Are you religious? If not, why mention the Apocalypse or Heaven?:)

[GepperRankins]

religious fundamentalists :|

Are you religious? If not, why mention the Apocalypse or Heaven?:)

hedging my bets. going with heresy just in case i'm wrong.

i was expecting a novelty boxer shorts joke :ermm:

[bigboab]

Are you religious? If not, why mention the Apocalypse or Heaven?:)

hedging my bets. going with heresy just in case i'm wrong.

i was expecting a novelty boxer shorts joke :ermm:

I am trying out all religions at the moment. just in case.:) I have reached the Moonies.:)

[clocker]

[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B]ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT IF YOU DIED TODAY THAT YOU WOULD GO TO HEAVEN?

There are some things that you should know:

OK, who told the Jehovah's Witnesses about the internet?

[Sextent]

The Amish.

[xfrodobagginsx]

I am not a Jewhovah's witness. They are a cult.

[Sextent]

I am not a Jewhovah's witness. They are a cult.

An anti-semite then.

[Proper Bo]

You're a cult.

[Proper Bo]

^^Spot the typo:smilie4:

[xfrodobagginsx]

No I am not anti-sematic either. Christians have a high respect for Jews and Israel. They are our brothers.

[Sextent]

You're a lesbian shit licker.

[Sextent]

No I am not anti-sematic either. Christians have a high respect for Jews and Israel. They are our brothers.

So what's a Jewhovah Witness.

It's either a Freudian slip or you're a wee bit slow.

You chose.

[Proper Bo]

You're a lesbian shit licker.

h4r5h.

[Sextent]

You're a lesbian shit licker.

h4r5h.

Sorry, it was a typo.

[Biggles]

Then why are you forcing your views on me by clicking on this thread? You weren't forced to come here. Please leave.

Interesting

A noob tells Snee to leave :blink:

What did the blurb say btw my eyes glazed over after the first cliche.

[Biggles]

h4r5h.

Sorry, it was a typo.

Easily done

they put these damned keys too close together.

[xfrodobagginsx]

I asked him to leave the thread. He accused me of forcing myself on him, yet he is the one who chose to click on this thread. He didn't have to. I haven't posted this in other threads, therefore, I am not forcing my views on anyone.

Look, all I want to do here is discuss this topic.

[Aaxel21]

But the title was so intresting it forced my finger to left click it, and before I knew it...damn.

Oh, and back to the topic. It's hard to say where I stand at the moment I'm sorta back and forth kinda like Opera Winfrey shes fat then shes thin shes fat then thin, etc. With a full time job and the rest of the time taken up by school class and when I decide to skip class that time is taken up by The Xbox 360, theres just not enough time.

[xfrodobagginsx]

So, what you're saying is that the question of where you are going to spend all of eternity is of no concern to you as long as you get a jelly bean right this second. It makes no sense man. It's something that you should think about.

[Aaxel21]

What concerns me right now is that I get my school done right now and after school I'll start to worry about where I spend eternity.

[masterbat]

So, what you're saying is that the question of where you are going to spend all of eternity is of no concern to you as long as you get a jelly bean right this second. It makes no sense man. It's something that you should think about.

what happens to the people before christ (even before jews ) ? god deosnt give a shit ?

and why does god always comes up with an updated holy book every 1000 years ?

and if jeebus has shown miracles. why did he had only 13 followers during his lifetime ? you know david blaine has more followers (during his life time )

and why isnt dinousers mentioned in bible. this is serious . no dinosours ? wtf ?

[bigboab]

So, what you're saying is that the question of where you are going to spend all of eternity is of no concern to you as long as you get a jelly bean right this second. It makes no sense man. It's something that you should think about.

what happens to the people before christ (even before jews ) ? god deosnt give a shit ?

and why does god always comes up with an updated holy book every 1000 years ?

and if jeebus has shown miracles. why did he had only 13 followers during his lifetime ? you know david blaine has more followers (during his life time )

and why isnt dinousers mentioned in bible. this is serious . no dinosours ? wtf ?

Dinosaurs, along with about 70% of all the other species disappeared from earth about 60 million years before the biblical times.

Jesus only appeared to have 13 disciples because that was all that Leonardo Da Vinci could squeeze into his Last Supper painting.:blink:

[masterbat]

what happens to the people before christ (even before jews ) ? god deosnt give a shit ?

and why does god always comes up with an updated holy book every 1000 years ?

and if jeebus has shown miracles. why did he had only 13 followers during his lifetime ? you know david blaine has more followers (during his life time )

and why isnt dinousers mentioned in bible. this is serious . no dinosours ? wtf ?



Jesus only appeared to have 13 disciples because that was all that Leonardo Da Vinci could squeeze into his Last Supper painting.:blink:


that makes sense :lol:

[Biggles]

So, what you're saying is that the question of where you are going to spend all of eternity is of no concern to you as long as you get a jelly bean right this second. It makes no sense man. It's something that you should think about.

Fair enough. My discussion point would be that behaviours determined by what one is going to get out of it personally is hardly the basis for a moral framework. It is an inherently selfish motivation. If one truly believes in free will then logically only those who love God regardless of whether there is personal gain for themselves or not are genuine believers. Heaven or Hell whatever you conceive them to be are irrelevant.

Attempting to sell religion on the basis of pie in the sky is akin to double glazing salesman techniques. Guaranteed for 500 years or your money back.

Do it because you want to or not at all. :yup:

That is my view at least

[xfrodobagginsx]

what happens to the people before christ (even before jews ) ? god deosnt give a shit ?

and why does god always comes up with an updated holy book every 1000 years ?

and if jeebus has shown miracles. why did he had only 13 followers during his lifetime ? you know david blaine has more followers (during his life time )

and why isnt dinousers mentioned in bible. this is serious . no dinosours ? wtf ?

Dinosaurs, along with about 70% of all the other species disappeared from earth about 60 million years before the biblical times.

Jesus only appeared to have 13 disciples because that was all that Leonardo Da Vinci could squeeze into his Last Supper painting.:blink:

First of all Dinosaurs ARE meantioned in the bible in SEVERAL places. Secondly, there were 12 disciples, not 13. So, if dinosaurs died out supposedly millions of years BEFORE humans supposedely evolved, then why are they found cave drawings thousands of years old, found in every culture around the world? They are called "dragons" in many cases. Think about the chinese dragon and what it looks like. That's been a part of their culture for thousands of years.

Below are CLEAR descriptions of dinosaurs. It is also very obvious that they are REAL creatures. God Himself if the one talking to Job.


Job 40:15 Now behold behemoth, which I made along with you; he eats grass like an ox; see, now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the muscles of his belly. He hangs his tail like a cedar; the sinews of his thighs are knit together. His bones are like tubes of bronze; his bones are like bars of iron. He is the first of the ways of God; his Maker brings near his sword. For the mountains yield food for him, and all the beasts of the field play there. He lies under the lotus, in the hiding place of the reed and the marsh. The lotus trees cover him with their shadow; the willows of the brook surround him. Behold, though a flood presses, he does not run away; he feels safe even if Jordan swells up to his mouth. Shall any take him before his eyes, or pierce through his nose with cords?

Job 41:1 Can you draw out the leviathan with a hook, or hold down his tongue with a cord? Can you put a reed rope into his nose, or pierce his jaw with a thorn? Will he multiply pleas for help to you? Will he speak soft words to you? Will he make a covenant with you? Will you take him for a servant for ever? Will you play with him as with a bird? Or will you bind him for your maidens? Shall your companions bargain over him? Shall they divide him among the merchants? Can you fill his skin with barbed irons, or his head with fishing spears? Lay your hand on him, think of the battle; you will never do it again. Behold, his hope has been made false; will not one be cast down at the sight of him? None is so fierce as to dare to stir him up; who then is able to stand before Me? Who has gone before Me that I should repay? All that is the heavens is Mine. I will not keep silent concerning his limbs, or his mighty strength, or the grace of his frame. Who can take off the surface of his skin; who can come to him with his double bridle? Who can open the doors to his face? Terror is round about his teeth. The rows of shields are his pride, shut up with a close seal; one is so near to another that no air can come between them; hey are joined one to another, they clasp each other so that they can not be separated. His sneezings flash forth light, and his eyes are like the eyelids of the dawn. Out of his mouth go burning torches, sparks of fire leap out.
Out of his nostrils goes smoke, as out of a boiling pot fired by reeds. His breath kindles coals, and a flame goes out of his mouth.
In his neck remains strength, and terror dances before him.
The folds of his flesh are joined together, cast firm on him; he cannot be moved. His heart is cast hard as a stone, even cast hard as a piece of a riding millstone. The mighty are afraid from his rising; they are beside themselves from the crashing. The sword overtakes him, but will not hold firm. The spear, the dart, and the javelin also. He counts iron as straw, bronze as rotten wood.
An arrow cannot make him flee; slingstones are turned by him into stubble. Darts are counted as straw; he laughs at the shaking of a javelin.Points of potsherds are under him; he spreads sharp pointed marks on the mire. He makes the deep boil like a pot; he makes the sea like a pot of ointment. He makes a path to shine after him; one would think the deep to be gray-headed. On earth there is nothing like him, one made without fear. He beholds all high things; he is a king over all the sons of pride.


Ne 2:13 And I went out by night by the gate of the valley, even before the dragon well, and to the dung port, and viewed the walls of Jerusalem, which were broken down, and the gates thereof were consumed with fire.

Ps 91:13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. {adder: or, asp}

Isa 27:1 ¶ In that day the LORD with his sore and great and strong sword shall punish leviathan the piercing serpent, even leviathan that crooked serpent; and he shall slay the dragon that is in the sea. {piercing: or, crossing like a bar}

Isa 51:9 ¶ Awake, awake, put on strength, O arm of the LORD; awake, as in the ancient days, in the generations of old. Art thou not it that hath cut Rahab, and wounded the dragon?

Jer 51:34 Nebuchadrezzar the king of Babylon hath devoured me, he hath crushed me, he hath made me an empty vessel, he hath swallowed me up like a dragon, he hath filled his belly with my delicates, he hath cast me out.

Eze 29:3 Speak, and say, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I am against thee, Pharaoh king of Egypt, the great dragon that lieth in the midst of his rivers, which hath said, My river is mine own, and I have made it for myself.

Re 12:3 And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. {wonder: or, sign}

Re 12:4 And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the
woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.

Re 12:7 And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,

Re 12:9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

Re 12:13 And when the dragon saw that he was cast unto the earth, he persecuted the woman which brought forth the man child.

Re 12:16 And the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed up the flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth.

Re 12:17 And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.

Re 13:2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

Re 13:4 And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him?

Re 13:11 ¶ And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.

Re 16:13 And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet.

Re 20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,

[bigboab]

So, what you're saying is that the question of where you are going to spend all of eternity is of no concern to you as long as you get a jelly bean right this second. It makes no sense man. It's something that you should think about.

Fair enough. My discussion point would be that behaviours determined by what one is going to get out of it personally is hardly the basis for a moral framework. It is an inherently selfish motivation. If one truly believes in free will then logically only those who love God regardless of whether there is personal gain for themselves or not are genuine believers. Heaven or Hell whatever you conceive them to be are irrelevant.

Attempting to sell religion on the basis of pie in the sky is akin to double glazing salesman techniques. Guaranteed for 500 years or your money back.

Do it because you want to or not at all. :yup:

That is my view at least

That post is definitely food for thought.:) I suppose that would make it Shepherds Pie In The Sky.

[Barbarossa]

Dinosaurs, along with about 70% of all the other species disappeared from earth about 60 million years before the biblical times.

Jesus only appeared to have 13 disciples because that was all that Leonardo Da Vinci could squeeze into his Last Supper painting.:blink:

First of all Dinosaurs ARE meantioned in the bible in SEVERAL places. Secondly, there were 12 disciples, not 13. So, if dinosaurs died out supposedly millions of years BEFORE humans supposedely evolved, then why are they found cave drawings thousands of years old, found in every culture around the world? They are called "dragons" in many cases. Think about the chinese dragon and what it looks like. That's been a part of their culture for thousands of years.

Below are CLEAR descriptions of dinosaurs. It is also very obvious that they are REAL creatures. God Himself if the one talking to Job.


Job 40:15 Now behold behemoth, which I made along with you; he eats grass like an ox; see, now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the muscles of his belly. He hangs his tail like a cedar; the sinews of his thighs are knit together. His bones are like tubes of bronze; his bones are like bars of iron. He is the first of the ways of God; his Maker brings near his sword. For the mountains yield food for him, and all the beasts of the field play there. He lies under the lotus, in the hiding place of the reed and the marsh. The lotus trees cover him with their shadow; the willows of the brook surround him. Behold, though a flood presses, he does not run away; he feels safe even if Jordan swells up to his mouth. Shall any take him before his eyes, or pierce through his nose with cords?

Job 41:1 Can you draw out the leviathan with a hook, or hold down his tongue with a cord? Can you put a reed rope into his nose, or pierce his jaw with a thorn? Will he multiply pleas for help to you? Will he speak soft words to you? Will he make a covenant with you? Will you take him for a servant for ever? Will you play with him as with a bird? Or will you bind him for your maidens? Shall your companions bargain over him? Shall they divide him among the merchants? Can you fill his skin with barbed irons, or his head with fishing spears? Lay your hand on him, think of the battle; you will never do it again. Behold, his hope has been made false; will not one be cast down at the sight of him? None is so fierce as to dare to stir him up; who then is able to stand before Me? Who has gone before Me that I should repay? All that is the heavens is Mine. I will not keep silent concerning his limbs, or his mighty strength, or the grace of his frame. Who can take off the surface of his skin; who can come to him with his double bridle? Who can open the doors to his face? Terror is round about his teeth. The rows of shields are his pride, shut up with a close seal; one is so near to another that no air can come between them; hey are joined one to another, they clasp each other so that they can not be separated. His sneezings flash forth light, and his eyes are like the eyelids of the dawn. Out of his mouth go burning torches, sparks of fire leap out.
Out of his nostrils goes smoke, as out of a boiling pot fired by reeds. His breath kindles coals, and a flame goes out of his mouth.
In his neck remains strength, and terror dances before him.
The folds of his flesh are joined together, cast firm on him; he cannot be moved. His heart is cast hard as a stone, even cast hard as a piece of a riding millstone. The mighty are afraid from his rising; they are beside themselves from the crashing. The sword overtakes him, but will not hold firm. The spear, the dart, and the javelin also. He counts iron as straw, bronze as rotten wood.
An arrow cannot make him flee; slingstones are turned by him into stubble. Darts are counted as straw; he laughs at the shaking of a javelin.Points of potsherds are under him; he spreads sharp pointed marks on the mire. He makes the deep boil like a pot; he makes the sea like a pot of ointment. He makes a path to shine after him; one would think the deep to be gray-headed. On earth there is nothing like him, one made without fear. He beholds all high things; he is a king over all the sons of pride.


Ne 2:13 And I went out by night by the gate of the valley, even before the dragon well, and to the dung port, and viewed the walls of Jerusalem, which were broken down, and the gates thereof were consumed with fire.

Ps 91:13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet. {adder: or, asp}

Isa 27:1 ¶ In that day the LORD with his sore and great and strong sword shall punish leviathan the piercing serpent, even leviathan that crooked serpent; and he shall slay the dragon that is in the sea. {piercing: or, crossing like a bar}

Isa 51:9 ¶ Awake, awake, put on strength, O arm of the LORD; awake, as in the ancient days, in the generations of old. Art thou not it that hath cut Rahab, and wounded the dragon?

Jer 51:34 Nebuchadrezzar the king of Babylon hath devoured me, he hath crushed me, he hath made me an empty vessel, he hath swallowed me up like a dragon, he hath filled his belly with my delicates, he hath cast me out.

Eze 29:3 Speak, and say, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I am against thee, Pharaoh king of Egypt, the great dragon that lieth in the midst of his rivers, which hath said, My river is mine own, and I have made it for myself.

Re 12:3 And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. {wonder: or, sign}

Re 12:4 And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the
woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.

Re 12:7 And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,

Re 12:9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

Re 12:13 And when the dragon saw that he was cast unto the earth, he persecuted the woman which brought forth the man child.

Re 12:16 And the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed up the flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth.

Re 12:17 And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.

Re 13:2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

Re 13:4 And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him?

Re 13:11 ¶ And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.

Re 16:13 And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet.

Re 20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,

Yeah, I wouldn't consider the bible as containing gospel truth if I were you :mellow:

[clocker]

if dinosaurs died out supposedly millions of years BEFORE humans supposedely evolved, then why are they found cave drawings thousands of years old, found in every culture around the world? They are called "dragons" in many cases.
There are NO cave drawings-Chinese or otherwise- that show dinosaurs and humans.
Wooly mammoths and sabre tooth tigers, sure- but they're mammals not giant reptiles.

BTW, isn't "Leviathan" just a whale?
Even non-Christians believe in whales, for goodness sake.

[bigboab]

Yeah, I wouldn't consider the bible as containing gospel truth if I were you :mellow:

I don't think that he/she will get that joke.:lol:

[Barbarossa]

But that's part of the fun :sly:

[masterbat]

if dinosaurs died out supposedly millions of years BEFORE humans supposedely evolved, then why are they found cave drawings thousands of years old, found in every culture around the world? They are called "dragons" in many cases.
There are NO cave drawings-Chinese or otherwise- that show dinosaurs and humans.
Wooly mammoths and sabre tooth tigers, sure- but they're mammals not giant reptiles.

BTW, isn't "Leviathan" just a whale?
Even non-Christians believe in whales, for goodness sake.

:lol: owned

and


BEFORE humans supposedely evolved

evolution ?? :naughty: when did you guys start believing in that

[Snee]

She did say supposededly.

[Snee]

I asked him to leave the thread. He accused me of forcing myself on him, yet he is the one who chose to click on this thread. He didn't have to. I haven't posted this in other threads, therefore, I am not forcing my views on anyone.

Look, all I want to do here is discuss this topic.

You came here, to this forum, to preach, you put this thread here, where we are. You sought us out, not the other way around.

We didn't come to some board you hang out at, you came to us, you mental little missionary you. And you're still preaching, when you aren't making shit up, anyways :ermm:

[Alien5]

every sat morning we get a group of Jehovah's coming to our street because their office is just around the corner, down a dodgy looking alley that smells of wee, anyway once we saw them standing across the street so my mate went up to one of em and asked if they wanted to come and burn a virgin on the heath tonight. :naughty:

go and spread the word elsewhere you crap suit shit dress trouser wearing tossers.

[Sextent]

Mentals always quote from the Old Testament or from Revelations. They call themselves Christian but seem to desperately ignore the actual teachings of Christ. All that love and forgiveness and lilly livered pish.

It's like God said, I will send my only Son and they replied "Whatever, we still prefer the stuff about floods and dragons and wailing and stuff. You can keep your new covenant or do something else."

The above is almost a direct quote from what the Priest said at Mass today.

[Sextent]

Secondly, there were 12 disciples, not 13

Actually there were like loads of disciples, there were twelve Apostles.

Disciples were (and indeed are) followers. The Apostles were the original disciples, called by Chebus to follow him and then to go out and preach in his name. They went to the last supper and stuff.

[100%]

ARE YOU 100%

I am.

[Sextent]

I'm 100%icus

[Aaxel21]

I'm about 10-100%

[xfrodobagginsx]

Secondly, there were 12 disciples, not 13

Actually there were like loads of disciples, there were twelve Apostles.

Disciples were (and indeed are) followers. The Apostles were the original disciples, called by Chebus to follow him and then to go out and preach in his name. They went to the last supper and stuff.

...but there were 12 that Jesus Christ specifically chose, not 13. They BECAME apostles AFTER Jesus Christ rose from the dead and sent them to the ends of the earth (the great commission). An apostle is nothing more than a missionary. Let's not try to talk our way out of things here. Just admit that you are wrong when you are wrong, but yes, besides there WERE other disciples that followed Jesus, but only 12 specifically chosen by Jesus.

[masterbat]

jesus christ is in kashmir

[masterbat]

http://www.tombofjesus.com/2007/home.html

The Tomb in Kashmir

[Sextent]

Actually there were like loads of disciples, there were twelve Apostles.

Disciples were (and indeed are) followers. The Apostles were the original disciples, called by Chebus to follow him and then to go out and preach in his name. They went to the last supper and stuff.

...but there were 12 that Jesus Christ specifically chose, not 13. They BECAME apostles AFTER Jesus Christ rose from the dead and sent them to the ends of the earth (the great commission). An apostle is nothing more than a missionary. Let's not try to talk our way out of things here. Just admit that you are wrong when you are wrong, but yes, besides there WERE other disciples that followed Jesus, but only 12 specifically chosen by Jesus.

Actually it's you who was wrong when you said there were only 12 disciples. There were loads. You just explained that yourself FFS.

Oh and it wasn't me who said there were 13, which you went on to "correct". If memory serves that was boab who said that. Either way you were still wrong.

FFS if you're going to try to proselytize at least try to get the basics right and know who you are replying to. You know listen to other people and stuff.

No wait, that wouldn't work.

Basically you are just the type of idiot who give Christianity and other religions a bad name. I often suspect it's non-religious people doing it, for that very reason. That's certainly been done here before.

This is one of these " you're a dickhead" moments. Either you are posting genuinely, making you a dickhead. Or you're making this stuff up, making you a dickhead. Either way, dickhead.

[chalice]

Too much altar wine, I fear.

One of these twats came to my door last week.

My lapsed-catholic sensibilities were somewhat inflamed. It was a brainwash and run affair. Unbeknownst to me, he had encountered Number 1 son sometime during the summer and promised him a babble. He thrust the bible into said offspring's confused mitts and beat a hasty retreat like the fabled thief in the night.

Had I answered the door, the sharp end of the word of god would've been bounced off this covert missionary's temple.

Then I had to spend the next week explaining to the kid how if Adam and Eve had really been the keystone of genetic inheritance, our deformities would be so myriad as to render evolution a heavenly myth.

[Biggles]

Fair enough. My discussion point would be that behaviours determined by what one is going to get out of it personally is hardly the basis for a moral framework. It is an inherently selfish motivation. If one truly believes in free will then logically only those who love God regardless of whether there is personal gain for themselves or not are genuine believers. Heaven or Hell whatever you conceive them to be are irrelevant.

Attempting to sell religion on the basis of pie in the sky is akin to double glazing salesman techniques. Guaranteed for 500 years or your money back.

Do it because you want to or not at all. :yup:

That is my view at least

That post is definitely food for thought.:) I suppose that would make it Shepherds Pie In The Sky.

But alas sadly ignored :(

It would seem pish about dinosaurs is more important. :frusty:

I'm out of this one = to use a bizarre Merkinism.

[chalice]

But alas sadly ignored :(

It would seem pish about dinosaurs is more important. :frusty:

I'm out of this one = to use a bizarre Merkinism.

Sad but true, Les.

A classic case of selective perception, as is rule with the majority of his ilk.

[Sextent]

Too much altar wine, I fear.

One of these twats came to my door last week.

My lapsed-catholic sensibilities were somewhat inflamed. It was a brainwash and run affair. Unbeknownst to me, he had encountered Number 1 son sometime during the summer and promised him a babble. He thrust the bible into said offspring's confused mitts and beat a hasty retreat like the fabled thief in the night.

Had I answered the door, the sharp end of the word of god would've been bounced off this covert missionary's temple.

Then I had to spend the next week explaining to the kid how if Adam and Eve had really been the keystone of genetic inheritance, our deformities would be so myriad as to render evolution a heavenly myth.

Mitochondrial DNA would tend to suggest that at the very least there was an "Eve". Other research suggests that there was also an "Adam", unfortunately they lived like a brazillion years apart. However it is science so it must be true.

Anyway there's a rule that if anyone tries to brainwash your descendants you are allowed to beat them to the ground. Using their own "holy book".

This includes your children, your children's children, your children's children's children ....

[Snee]

Basically you are just the type of idiot who give Christianity and other religions a bad name. I often suspect it's non-religious people doing it, for that very reason. That's certainly been done here before.

This is one of these " you're a dickhead" moments. Either you are posting genuinely, making you a dickhead. Or you're making this stuff up, making you a dickhead. Either way, dickhead.
It could be some sort of common class assignment from a nutter mongtard some religious school, this.

"Go out and find a place of sin, and spread the gospel" like.

It could explain a lot of nuttery I've seen, and why the attempts are so half-arsed and rife with misquotings, teenagers being what they are, and all.

[Sextent]

True.

I wouldn't even mind if they quoted the Gospels once in a while, being that they are about Chebus' life and teachings and stuff. But it's always Old Testament fire and brimstone ... and dragons

[Snee]

Yeah, if they want to get things wrong, at least they should do it about Jesus.

[peat moss]

Iv done too many mean things in my life to qualify , can I start all over again ? I see the Dali Lama is looking for a replacement , with my luck I'll be reincarnated as a woman with a bald head . No fun in that eh .

[Sextent]

Yeah, if they want to get things wrong, at least they should do it about Jesus.

Exactly, why talk shite about Christianity without bringing Chebus himself into the equation. It's just mental.

[chalice]

Too much altar wine, I fear.

One of these twats came to my door last week.

My lapsed-catholic sensibilities were somewhat inflamed. It was a brainwash and run affair. Unbeknownst to me, he had encountered Number 1 son sometime during the summer and promised him a babble. He thrust the bible into said offspring's confused mitts and beat a hasty retreat like the fabled thief in the night.

Had I answered the door, the sharp end of the word of god would've been bounced off this covert missionary's temple.

Then I had to spend the next week explaining to the kid how if Adam and Eve had really been the keystone of genetic inheritance, our deformities would be so myriad as to render evolution a heavenly myth.

Mitochondrial DNA would tend to suggest that at the very least there was an "Eve". Other research suggests that there was also an "Adam", unfortunately they lived like a brazillion years apart. However it is science so it must be true.


At least we're agreed on that Garden of Eden bollocks.

It's metaphor when it suits 'em and literal when it don't.

I'd like to know who knocked that first monkey up, though. :blink:

[Snee]

Prolly Jesus.

[chalice]

Prolly Jesus.

Best post of the year.

Fact.

[Sextent]

Prolly Jesus.

I heard it was his Da.

Knocked one up with bits and pieces he just found lying about. He was bored or something so just threw a monkey together. The rest as they say is theology.

[xfrodobagginsx]

The year is almost over. Why not start off the new year with a new life in Christ?

[Alien5]

http://www.forumspile.com/STFU-Bitch_do_you.jpg

[peat moss]

The year is almost over. Why not start off the new year with a new life in Christ?

Oh ok can I win the lottery first ? Just so you know I'm talking to the big guy kinda thing . :)

[Aaxel21]

Iv done too many mean things in my life to qualify , can I start all over again ? I see the Dali Lama is looking for a replacement , with my luck I'll be reincarnated as a woman with a bald head . No fun in that eh .

Mulligan :D

[Biggles]

The year is almost over. Why not start off the new year with a new life in Christ?

Compelling argument non? :huh:

How about we discuss the morality of rewards for belief?

[bigboab]

The year is almost over. Why not start off the new year with a new life in Christ?

Compelling argument non? :huh:

How about we discuss the morality of rewards for belief?

As long as we remember that the Ten Commandments are not multi choice.:)

[thewizeard]

The year is almost over. Why not start off the new year with a new life in Christ?

Good point.. If Jesus was God, it might be worth a try.

Why take a train to London via Edinburgh, when the train also travel directly to London , inter-city? :huh:

[Snee]

The year is almost over. Why not start off the new year with a new life in Christ?

Compelling argument non? :huh:

We'd have to take turns, like. Surely we can't all fit at once.

People'd better give me room to pull out when I'm done.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it if you haven't yet.

[bigboab]

"Put away from among yourselves that wicked person."
Stay away from "fornicators", "idolaters", and "drunkards". Do not associate, speak to, or eat dinner with such "wicked" people. 5:9-13 (http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/1cor/5.html#9)

Why don't you comply with the above and go and preach somewhere else?

I hope Reality does not see this extract. He will close down the Forum.:)

P.S. We are all in there somewhere.:lol:

[Biggles]

Please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it if you haven't yet.

I'm detecting a distinct lack of the promised meaningful discussion here. :dry:

Just a diet of the same old lame cliches. The failure to address any of the issues raised undermines the credibility of the first post.

[WeeMouse]

My Dad says I'm going to the bad fire.

He's probably right :D

Heaven exists I'm sure, but as a fornicating drunkard I'm going to find a back way in, like a fire door left propped opened.

[Biggles]

My Dad says I'm going to the bad fire.

He's probably right :D

Heaven exists I'm sure, but as a fornicating drunkard I'm going to find a back way in, like a fire door left propped opened.

You could do a girlie blag past security.

[chalice]

Heaven.


There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven,
Smoking and eating and sex.
What you didn't do in this life, bad for you
Will be totally cool in the next.


In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast.
At lunch it's Tequila and wine.
And the soup served with dinner is made with paint thinner
And the morning-hereafter feels fine.


Good behaviour will get ya to Heaven.
It's Beaulah Land, that's where we're bound.
But nobody makes nice up there in paradise.
When ya get up there, then ya get down.


And the angels have ashtrays in Heaven.
St. Peter puffs on a cigar.
That's right, smoking's allowed.
That's what makes all those clouds.
And ya don't have to sit at the bar.


And they eat all day long up in Heaven.
And nobody ever gets fat.
No, not one calorie and the ice cream is free.
It comes in a pint, quart or a vat.


And it's just one big orgy in Heaven.
And nobody ever says no.
And it's front, sideways, back and you start to lose track
But you don't lose your get up and go.


There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven,
Smoking and eating and sex.
What you didn't do in this life bad for you
Will be totally cool in the next.


In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast.
At lunch it's Sambuka and wine.
The Gazpacho with dinner is made with paint thinner
And the morning here-after feels fine.



Loudon Wainwright III.

[masterbat]

Would we feel ashamed
If we got drunk in heaven?
Who would get the blame
If we passed out in heaven?
Beer would be strong
And never gone
Do you know if they're serving beer in heaven?

Would it come in cans
If they have beer in heaven?
Would they have my brand
If they served beer in heaven?
You think it pays
To pray this way?
"Lord, I hope they let me drink beer in heaven"

Wine would make me frown
Can't handle whiskey
Moonshine in a jar, brings me to my knees...toss cookies

My only cure
Pass on liquor
So I hope that there will be beer in heaven...

Can you say there ain't
Any cold beer in heaven?
Could you be a saint
If you drank beer in heaven?
I must be wrong
I'll end this song
'Cause I'm sure Peter won't drink beer in heaven...

[Alien5]

what if god was one of us? just a stranger on the bus...

[Sextent]

That's just mad talk

[chalice]

That's just mad talk

Yep, that crazy bastard would be driving the bus.

[Sextent]

He is ... in a way.

But we chose the destination.

[chalice]

He is ... in a way.

But we chose the destination.

To the terminus, if you please.

[Sextent]

Does Sir have any baggage.

[chalice]

Does Sir have any baggage.

How long have you got, Padre?

[Sextent]

Till the end of thyme and onwards, to infinity ... and beyond.

[chalice]

Till the end of thyme and onwards, to infinity ... and beyond.

Infinity, now there's the thing.

Supposedly, infinity can be multiplied by infinity. A soul-crunching, matheological ( I just made that word up) anathema.

Can I have my penance now?

[Sextent]

You must face all of your failings and transgressions, accepting that they are part of what made you and come to terms with that. Finding true peace in the acceptance that you are just a man.

[chalice]

Can I not just have 3 Hail Marys and an Our Father?

[Sextent]

That would do as well.

Can you make it a full decade tho', meet me half way.

Sign of good faith type thing.

[chalice]

Can't find my rosary beads.

Will anal beads do? As long as they're used in the right avenue of belief?

[Sextent]

That's the think about anal beads, at least you know where to find them.

[chalice]

That's the think about anal beads, at least you know where to find them.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: fucking :lol:

[xfrodobagginsx]

Dude, have some respect. This thread is about God and how to get to heaven. If you want to talk like that, please go elsewhere.

[Biggles]

This thread is magnificent - SGG and I have just chortled our way through three pages of ontological enlightment.

One can always rely on Sextent and Chalice to keep their end up

prolly the beads what does it.

[Alien5]

Dude, have some respect. This thread is about God and how to get to heaven. If you want to talk like that, please go elsewhere. :glag: pwned by Jehovah's witness lol.

[chalice]

Dude, have some respect. This thread is about God and how to get to heaven. If you want to talk like that, please go elsewhere.

If you want us all to agree with you, then perhaps you should go elsewhere.

If you want a theological debate, then I'm your man.

Your one-liners are becoming tiresome. It's all ifs round here.

I suspect, though, as mentioned before, you're just a troll. In which case, that's great. There's been some excellent anti/pro Christ posts made here over the head of you so all's fair.

Did I mention I was Satan/Lucifer/The Lightbringer/Beelzebub/Christopher Biggins/George Bush/Gerry Adams/Ian Paisley?Mohamed/Buddha/Jim Jones/John Lennon/Kali/Kuresh/the Pope/and just about everybody else you care to hate?

God bless ya.

ChaliceofWeeWee

Belfast.

[Alien5]

1-1 :yahoo:

[Snee]

You know, I'd have thunk we would lose this one in a post or two after the first. But it seems the ickle kiddywink is chugging along on pure stupid. Bless.

[Sextent]

This thread is magnificent - SGG and I have just chortled our way through three pages of ontological enlightment.

One can always rely on Sextent and Chalice to keep their end up

prolly the beads what does it.

:WAHEY:

Can I get a :wahey: smillie.

[chalice]

Wahey!!

[Sextent]

Dude, have some respect. This thread is about God and how to get to heaven. If you want to talk like that, please go elsewhere.

Are you suggesting that Jebus didn't have an arse.

Can you quote the scripture which supports this contention.

[chalice]

My congregation, albeit subscriptional, also voices their vehement wahey!!

I'm awaiting donations from said subscribers.

Cunts.

[Sextent]

Indeedly (http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1580050751/ref=sib_dp_pt/102-6302271-7687361#reader-link)

[weenden]

(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
im gonna go to the invite section and hope someone gives me a invite to heaven ...but i doubt ill get one caus im stupid and sarcastic

[clocker]

Dude, have some respect. This thread is about God and how to get to heaven. If you want to talk like that, please go elsewhere.

Are you suggesting that Jebus didn't have an arse.

Can you quote the scripture which supports this contention.
Scripture not necessary.
Just check the cave paintings.

Clearly, the lad is not a "fundamentalist".


Now that deserves a waHey...

[Sextent]

That Sir deserves a Chapeau.

Always remember you can't say fundamentalist without saying mentalist.

And also http://www.fundament.org/

[weenden]

i just put my request in the invite section now i wait for the invite or am i going to hell

[chalice]

i just put my request in the invite section now i wait for the invite or am i going to hell

If you appropriate the requisite currency in the relevant slot, then you will be saved, my idiot child.

[weenden]

is thats all ther is to it then i can ablige

[chalice]

is thats all ther is to it then i can ablige

You are blessed.

Go with god.

[Sextent]

The Blesséd Wee Enden.

Canonisation FTW.

[weenden]

woo hoo

[chalice]

woo hoo

:lol:

[Biggles]

You know, I'd have thunk we would lose this one in a post or two after the first. But it seems the ickle kiddywink is chugging along on pure stupid. Bless.

Yes usually these religious spammers post once and then leg it before we can sit them down and point out many of us don't entirely agree with every aspect of their theological standpoint. :shifty:

Probably a troll though because they haven't actually engaged in any genuinely meaningful discussion. Just cut n paste crap from some daft fundy/mentalist site.

I took a rare dip into Fox News the other night and they were reviewing Northern Lights (Golden Compass as the Merkins would have it). PMSL! It is apparently a "disgusting godless movie which should be shunned". SGG was tickled when I told her, I think it is her favourite series of books. No 1 son is a big fan too but he is loathe to go and see the movie because he is fearful it will be too diluted for the mass market. He is a bit of purist on that front. One titbit I picked up on this review though is that only 0.4% of the US population are atheists :unsure: in which case I think may have met them or spoken to them all. That or they were talking utter bollocks....always a possibility I guess.

[thewizeard]

That Sir deserves a Chapeau.

Always remember you can't say fundamentalist without saying mentalist.

And also http://www.fundament.org/


Of course one can say fundamentalist without saying erm..wait ..mentalist?

Damn..

Anyway..I have been there ( Heaven)..not much on..and also..one has to come back here..to be born again.. feck that....Also it's full of Muslim extremists.. :unsure: Good Old Dad asked me to check if there are any virgins left on Earth..:O

[clocker]

One titbit I picked up on this review though is that only 0.4% of the US population are atheists :unsure: in which case I think may have met them or spoken to them all. That or they were talking utter bollocks....always a possibility I guess.
I suspect the latter.

I saw a bit about church attendance that said an overwhelming majority of Americans claim to go to church regularly at the same time that actual church attendance figures are dropping.

Apparently, the Church of NASCAR/NFL doesn't count.

Good news for the OP though...Talking Jebus (http://consumerist.com/consumer/trends/talking-jesus-action-figure-sells-out-at-walmart-332085.php) is very popular.

[chalice]

Leviticus 20:15...

"If a man has carnal relations with an animal, the man shall be put to death, and the animal shall be slain."


Do what you like to me but leave poor Bessy alone.

[Chip Monk]

I have to say that I haven't met that many true atheists :earl:. I mean chaps of an absolute certainty that there is no God, no afterlife, nothing else, this itvariety. Loads and loads of "Well I don't believe but obviously I can't actually be 100% certain like" plenty of them about.

[chalice]

Leviticus 20:18

"If a man lies in sexual intercourse with a woman during her menstrual period, both of them shall be cut off from their people, because they have laid bare the flowing fountain of her blood"


Bloody hell.

[chalice]

http://www.allforums.net/member.php?u=4679

http://jollyrogerwest.com/showthread.php?t=3712

http://xfrodobagginsx.deviantart.com/

http://forums.electronicarts.co.uk/member.php?u=346837

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/member.php?u=81895

http://www.volconvo.com/forums/search.php?searchid=161575

http://www.sportscardforum.com/member.php?u=25273

http://www.fundamentalforums.com/member.php?u=3285

http://thestudentroom.co.uk/search.php?searchid=2318211


Seems Frodo gets around. He's doing well. Banned from some diverse forums.

Keep up the good work, halfling.

[Proper Bo]

http://www.allforums.net/member.php?u=4679

http://jollyrogerwest.com/showthread.php?t=3712

http://xfrodobagginsx.deviantart.com/

http://forums.electronicarts.co.uk/member.php?u=346837

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/member.php?u=81895

http://www.volconvo.com/forums/search.php?searchid=161575

http://www.sportscardforum.com/member.php?u=25273

http://www.fundamentalforums.com/member.php?u=3285

http://thestudentroom.co.uk/search.php?searchid=2318211


Seems Frodo gets around. He's doing well. Banned from some diverse forums.

Keep up the good work, halfling.

jeebus, even barbie would be impressed with that bit of interweb stalking:o

[chalice]

10 pages of google. Banned from more forums than not. I'm truly impressed by his persistence.

[Alien5]

thats Baptists for you, they love being reborn again.

[Proper Bo]

I like how it's the exact same thread everywhere. I bet none of those had talk of anal beads tho'.

[Barbarossa]

http://www.allforums.net/member.php?u=4679

http://jollyrogerwest.com/showthread.php?t=3712

http://xfrodobagginsx.deviantart.com/

http://forums.electronicarts.co.uk/member.php?u=346837

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/member.php?u=81895

http://www.volconvo.com/forums/search.php?searchid=161575

http://www.sportscardforum.com/member.php?u=25273

http://www.fundamentalforums.com/member.php?u=3285

http://thestudentroom.co.uk/search.php?searchid=2318211


Seems Frodo gets around. He's doing well. Banned from some diverse forums.

Keep up the good work, halfling.

jeebus, even barbie would be impressed with that bit of interweb stalking:o

tits, or gtfo :snooty:

[Biggles]

Leviticus 20:18

"If a man lies in sexual intercourse with a woman during her menstrual period, both of them shall be cut off from their people, because they have laid bare the flowing fountain of her blood"


Bloody hell.

Literally!

CP

Fair point, absolute atheists maybe are 0.4%, absolute believers also 0.4% and 99.2% hedging their bets :)

[chalice]

Fair point, absolute atheists maybe are 0.4%, absolute believers also 0.4% and 99.2% hedging their bets :)

Pascal's Wager in full effect.

[Biggles]

I like how it's the exact same thread everywhere. I bet none of those had talk of anal beads tho'.

That is because he hasn't tried spamming a proper internets forum before.

I vote he gets to stay so we can play discuss some more :shifty:

[Biggles]

Fair point, absolute atheists maybe are 0.4%, absolute believers also 0.4% and 99.2% hedging their bets :)

Pascal's Wager in full effect.

Which was the point I was hoping he would discuss but alas to no avail.

[xfrodobagginsx]

thats Baptists for you, they love being reborn again.

You're only born again once. Just like you are only born physically once.

[bigboab]

thats Baptists for you, they love being reborn again.

You're only born again once. Just like you are only born physically once.

Prove this statement and you have a pervert convert.:)

[Biggles]

thats Baptists for you, they love being reborn again.

You're only born again once. Just like you are only born physically once.

unless of course you have been cloned in which case you could be physically born again and again.

[bigboab]

You're only born again once. Just like you are only born physically once.

unless of course you have been cloned in which case you could be physically born again and again.

:lol: I forgot about that. Kilmarnock is full of clones.

[chalice]

thats Baptists for you, they love being reborn again.

You're only born again once. Just like you are only born physically once.

What happens if you get all Christian and go to mass and all, then you see this really fit burd whose like a heathen or something, so you lapse and renounce Christ, then she does your head in cuz she's all yappy like so you turf her out and decide that being a Christian wasn't so bad after all so you become a Christian again? And to follow this to it's logical conclusion, you keep doing it everytime you see some fit heathen burd.

[Barbarossa]

clowns :dabs:

[Biggles]

clowns :dabs:

to the left of me

jokers to the right

[Sextent]

You're only born again once. Just like you are only born physically once.

What happens if you get all Christian and go to mass and all, then you see this really fit burd whose like a heathen or something, so you lapse and renounce Christ, then she does your head in cuz she's all yappy like so you turf her out and decide that being a Christian wasn't so bad after all so you become a Christian again? And to follow this to it's logical conclusion, you keep doing it everytime you see some fit heathen burd.

That's kind of been your life hasn't it.

Did you see my insight there.

[chalice]

What happens if you get all Christian and go to mass and all, then you see this really fit burd whose like a heathen or something, so you lapse and renounce Christ, then she does your head in cuz she's all yappy like so you turf her out and decide that being a Christian wasn't so bad after all so you become a Christian again? And to follow this to it's logical conclusion, you keep doing it everytime you see some fit heathen burd.

That's kind of been your life hasn't it.

Did you see my insight there.

The yappy, fit burd part was totally autobiographical. I haven't turfed her out yet though. I've only renounced Christ once. Still, time enough.

[Alien5]

@xfrodobagginsx - what if i do decide to get born again by baptists like, but then decide its not for me and do something else? then a week later i want to be re-born again? am i disqualified or put on a waiting list or whatever?

[Snee]

I like how it's the exact same thread everywhere.


Frodo baggins sex? you not another fundalmentalist using religion to disguise your sexual perversions are you?

:lol:

[Snee]

This loony tunes fruitcake straight out of the mental hospital on his way to la la land where the big man sits is a clear example of the mentally abused creating the illusion of perfection. Just because he happaned to choose a well founded mass appeal religion to do it in, doesnt change this fact.


There's nothing really new that's said on the internets anymore :dabs:

[N4riX]

donate to churches is the only way I believe. ;)

[bigboab]

donate to churches is the only way I believe. ;)

As long as the donor cards are not compulsory.
I need my liver. What is left of it.:)

[GoLDeN]

is there r a shortcut

[Biggles]

is there r a shortcut

Contemplation is good although it is best to start with a focus

This is a good one

http://www.mikes-images.com/assets/images/x_and_g_-_hot_tub_heaven.jpg

[MaaxHimself]

"Theres a place for us all, at thugz mansion."

[Biggles]

"Theres a place for us all, at thugz mansion."

The wine cellar is good I understand.

[Aaxel21]

I'm set. I bought a spot in heaven from this web site reserveaspotinheaven.com for $13.

:lol: J/k what a scam that is. I can't believe people get away with this.

[xfrodobagginsx]

donate to churches is the only way I believe. ;)

No, that won't get you to heaven.

[Alien5]

donate to churches is the only way I believe. ;)

No, that won't get you to heaven.

hahaha...n00b

[bigboab]

donate to churches is the only way I believe. ;)

No, that won't get you to heaven.

Give directions, please.:)

[Biggles]

I'm set. I bought a spot in heaven from this web site reserveaspotinheaven.com for $13.

:lol: J/k what a scam that is. I can't believe people get away with this.


The Church (indulgences - sounds like an exotic perfume) did it for years - nice little earner actually. I think if you paid enough you got a really nice plot too.

[Biggles]

donate to churches is the only way I believe. ;)

No, that won't get you to heaven.

It is a bit like the Wizard of Oz isn't it? Tap your heels three times and wish you were there

Sheesh everyone knows that N4riX! :dry:

[bigboab]

donate to churches is the only way I believe. ;)
To hell with the poor then.:cry:

[Biggles]

donate to churches is the only way I believe. ;)
To hell with the poor then.:cry:

No they got to use a free pass I understand.

Living in festering piles of pig's poo was all part of God's plan and as long as they accepted their lot and didn't try to take stuff off the rich folk they got to use their free pass. All seems very fair and reasonable :shifty:

I have always liked Roy Harper's lyrics on this

The history of religion
Is the history of the State
Incestuous exploiters of
Love, death, hate

[bigboab]

To hell with the poor then.:cry:

No they got to use a free pass I understand.

Living in festering piles of pig's poo was all part of God's plan and as long as they accepted their lot and didn't try to take stuff off the rich folk they got to use their free pass. All seems very fair and reasonable :shifty:

I have always liked Roy Harper's lyrics on this

The history of religion
Is the history of the State
Incestuous exploiters of
Love, death, hate

A bit like a one way bus pass.:)

I remember a Polish fellow who worked in Troon shipyard. When he wanted a single ticket on the bus he asked for 'One no come back to Troon'.:lol:

[xfrodobagginsx]

Please read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it from your heart.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Please read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it from your heart.

[bigboab]

Please read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it from your heart.

Are you not getting wet and cold standing out there all this time?:unsure:

[Biggles]

Please read this first post and pray that prayer to God at the bottom of it from your heart.

Echoes are teh dead spiritual


It is all very mantra orientated this way of going to heaven isn't it.

Pray a prayer click your heels and you are good to go. Personally I tend to agree with James and consider that what you actually do has a bearing on things as well.

[xfrodobagginsx]

The works are a RESULT of the salvation, NOT for salvation.

[Biggles]

The works are a RESULT of the salvation, NOT for salvation.

That is not what James is saying that is merely one denomination's interpretation of what he is saying. However, if that is what floats your boat who am I to argue :)

[Sextent]

An intelligent, educated individual, with a bounty of life experience and an inquiring, open
mind.

smarmy cunt.

[xfrodobagginsx]

The works are a RESULT of the salvation, NOT for salvation.

That is not what James is saying that is merely one denomination's interpretation of what he is saying. However, if that is what floats your boat who am I to argue :)


Tit 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Ga 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

We are saved to do (unto) good works, not because of them.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

[Cheeseman1208]

That is not what James is saying that is merely one denomination's interpretation of what he is saying. However, if that is what floats your boat who am I to argue :)


Tit 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Ga 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

We are saved to do (unto) good works, not because of them.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Frodo, those are all quotes from the bible. The bible is a book, much like Harry Potter. And you do understand that this book was written 2000 years ago, and is all heresay (most, if not all of Jesus' disciples were illiterate). So, you would rather trust a 2000 year old book which is all hearsay rather than your own common sense?

Have you even read the bible frodo? You seem like a pretty devoted person, so I'm guessing you have. If the bible is god's word, then why is it filled with murder, adultery, incest, prostitution, and overall immorality? Take a look at the old testament of any non-childrens bible and you'll see what I'm talking about. If I had children, I would not let them read the bible, just because of it's profane nature.

Now, with that being said, I'm talking as if a god would exist in the first place. Which god do you pledge your devotion to frodo? Yahweh, Allah, Zeus, Thor, Herah, Baal, or any of the other countless gods humanity has believed in? Frodo, whether you like it or not, your an atheist about most god's humanity has ever believed in.

To me, belief in a god is a slap in the face to the complex and chaotic nature of our universe. Frodo, if you were to climb a mountain, would you try to take one large step to the summit, or would you take the sloping path to the top? Having a god that poofs everything into existence like a genie is like climbing a mountain in one step, utterly impossible. The universe, as well as life here on earth, were created over an infinite number of years, like an easy sloping path up the mountain.

And personally, I'd rather not go to a Christian heaven. That would be pretty boring. Valhalla, or even some virgins are better anyway.

[masterbat]

The bible is a book, much like Harry Potter

:glag:

[Sextent]

Tit 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Ga 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

We are saved to do (unto) good works, not because of them.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Frodo, those are all quotes from the bible. The bible is a book, much like Harry Potter. And you do understand that this book was written 2000 years ago, and is all heresay (most, if not all of Jesus' disciples were illiterate). So, you would rather trust a 2000 year old book which is all hearsay rather than your own common sense?

Have you even read the bible frodo? You seem like a pretty devoted person, so I'm guessing you have. If the bible is god's word, then why is it filled with murder, adultery, incest, prostitution, and overall immorality? Take a look at the old testament of any non-childrens bible and you'll see what I'm talking about. If I had children, I would not let them read the bible, just because of it's profane nature.

Now, with that being said, I'm talking as if a god would exist in the first place. Which god do you pledge your devotion to frodo? Yahweh, Allah, Zeus, Thor, Herah, Baal, or any of the other countless gods humanity has believed in? Frodo, whether you like it or not, your an atheist about most god's humanity has ever believed in.

To me, belief in a god is a slap in the face to the complex and chaotic nature of our universe. Frodo, if you were to climb a mountain, would you try to take one large step to the summit, or would you take the sloping path to the top? Having a god that poofs everything into existence like a genie is like climbing a mountain in one step, utterly impossible. The universe, as well as life here on earth, were created over an infinite number of years, like an easy sloping path up the mountain.

And personally, I'd rather not go to a Christian heaven. That would be pretty boring. Valhalla, or even some virgins are better anyway.

There's so much there that makes one's brain bleed that there isn't even a decent place to start. However can I have a stab at your contention that life on Earth was created over an infinite period of time. Or indeed that the universe was created over a similarly infinite period.

On what do you base this, presumably the "common sense" of which you speak and seem to put so much stock in. Certainly not current scientific thinking.

As to your mountain analogy, that's just comedy genious. Are we to replace Occum's Razor with Cheeseman's Mountain.

[clocker]

There's so much there that makes one's brain bleed that there isn't even a decent place to start.
That can't be healthy, see a doctor soonest.

[Sextent]

There's so much there that makes one's brain bleed that there isn't even a decent place to start.
That can't be healthy, see a doctor soonest.

Nah, I've decided it's for the best. I can't take much more of this stuff.

[clocker]

Brave lad.

[Alien5]

i saw some jahovah's yesterday walking down the street, one of the women gave me a slutty look as i went past her :dry:

[Sextent]

It's the cowards option to be fair. It's that or a lifetime of torture, reading so called "common sense", which is little more than drivel based on people's own preconceptions and prejudices. Devoid of any logic or indeed thought process.

[Sextent]

i saw some jahovah's yesterday walking down the street, one of the women gave me a slutty look as i went past her :dry:

Were they carrying some type of badly spelled sign to identify themselves to the masses.

[Alien5]

they meet around the corner from my street, you can tell them apart from ordinary people by the clothes they wear, they also go around in groups chatting and looking pleased with themselves. most Londoners look miserable and unsociable and in an hurry to get somewhere.

[clocker]

They sound like Patriot fans...

[Sextent]

they meet around the corner from my street, you can tell them apart from ordinary people by the clothes they wear, they also go around in groups chatting and looking pleased with themselves. most Londoners look miserable and unsociable and in an hurry to get somewhere.

I've never known Jehovah's Witnesses to wear particularly distinctive clothing. Or indeed to be identifiable by their "chatting".

Are you absolutely certain about this assessment. Were they for example leaving a Kingdom Hall at the time.

[Sextent]

They sound like Patriot fans...

They meet on a street in London. :blink:

[Alien5]

yes

[Sextent]

How do you know they are Patriot fans.

[clocker]

Because Packer fans can't get passports.

[Sextent]

Are they all terralists or something else.

[Biggles]

That is not what James is saying that is merely one denomination's interpretation of what he is saying. However, if that is what floats your boat who am I to argue :)


Tit 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Ga 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

We are saved to do (unto) good works, not because of them.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

I know what Paul thinks, quote James to me instead.

[Biggles]

An intelligent, educated individual, with a bounty of life experience and an inquiring, open
mind.

smarmy cunt.

:unsure:


:shifty: Perhaps.

[Sextent]

It wasn't an offer.

[Snee]

I came up with an orsum game based on the very same theme as this thread.

For some mental reason I put it in the EATB-section, though.


Maybe it's god telling us this kind of stuff is serious business!!½

frodoxxx is prolly screwed if so :dabs:

[Biggles]

It wasn't an offer.

:cry:

Hopes dashed cruelly once again

[Sextent]

Oh, go on then.

http://www.tonybrooke.com/images/grammys05.jpg

[chalice]

Frodo will just keep bumping this thread forever. He does it on every forum he goes to.

Starts off with that shitey first post then gets the forum in lather and when people point out what a twat he is, he just continues to bump the thread with trite shite from his lunatic book.

He will do this forever.

So it has been written.

[Proper Bo]

It's an annoying hobbit.

[Proper Bo]

:i'llgetmecoat:

[Snee]

Frodo will just keep bumping this thread forever. He does it on every forum he goes to.

Starts off with that shitey first post then gets the forum in lather and when people point out what a twat he is, he just continues to bump the thread with trite shite from his lunatic book.

He will do this forever.

So it has been written.

Now, if he's actually religious, he's a mentalist twice over. Not only does he come off as a nutter, but he's also making religious people look bad. Hence, if this thread is sincere, he's probably pushing people away from religion, rather than towards it, doing the exact opposite of what he's trying to do.

: DeepThoughts :

[Biggles]

:i'llgetmecoat:

:idunno: it made me laugh

[chalice]

Me too.

[Sextent]

I didn't actually laugh, did grin a bit tho'.

It doesn't matter if he keeps bumping this thread. People are just talking about other things anyways.

[Snee]

So, who likes ninjas?

[Sextent]

http://images.google.co.uk/url?q=http://www.hookiedookiepanic.com/pagegraphics/shirtpics/ninjajesus.jpg&usg=AFQjCNGxx-KBG55gZYHfHplzaLnFYNmI1Q

[masterbat]

if jesus had died on cross and returned to his people instead of vanishing . he could have had more followers . correct ?

[Sextent]

if jesus had died on cross and returned to his people instead of vanishing . he could have had more followers . correct ?

What.

[masterbat]

if jesus had died on cross and returned to his people instead of vanishing . he could have had more followers . correct ?

What.


sorry for my poor english . but i will try to explain .

jeesus died on the cross and ressurected on the third day and rose to heaven . but if he hadnt died in cross and returned to preach , he would have more followers ?


from bible


The Sign of Jonah


Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, ‘Teacher, we want to see a miraculous sign from you.’ He answered, ‘a wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and now one greater than Jonah is here.’ (Matt 12:38–41)

So before we determine what happened to Jesus, we must understand what happened to Jonah, because Jesus claimed that the same miracle would be repeated. What was the Sign of Jonah? Did he die in the belly of the fish and was he later on revived from death? There is unanimity among all Christian, Jewish and Muslim scholars that Jonah did not die in the belly of the fish. He precariously hung between life and death and was miraculously saved from that situation; while any other person in his place would have died. Yet some subtle laws of nature, under the Divine command, must have conspired together to save him from death. Remember, we are not debating the issue of that being possible or not. We are only pointing out that Jesus, when he pointed out that the like of what happened to Jonah would also happen to him, he could only have meant that what everyone understood to have occurred in the case of Jonah would occur in his case. No one in the entire world of Judaism, whether in the land of Judea or anywhere else the Jews had dispersed and settled, would have received a different message from this claim of Jesus. They all believed that Jonah, miraculously or otherwise, survived for three days and nights in the belly of the fish and did not die in that period for a single moment. Of course we have our own reservations regarding this view. The story of Jonah as told to us in the Quran does not mention anywhere that it was for three days and nights that Jonah suffered his trials in the belly of the fish. However we return to the case in point and try to bring to light the actual similarities which were predicted by Jesus Christ between Jonah and himself. Those similarities spoke clearly of spending three days and nights in extremely precarious circumstances and a miraculous revival from near death, and not of coming back to life from the dead. The same, Jesus claimed, would happen in his case.

[Sextent]

What.


sorry for my poor english . but i will try to explain .

jeesus died on the cross and ressurected on the third day and rose to heaven . but if he hadnt died in cross and returned to preach , he would have more followers ?



Absolutely not.

In any case he was fulfilling scripture and in doing so sealing God's new covenant with man.

[masterbat]

sorry for my poor english . but i will try to explain .

jeesus died on the cross and ressurected on the third day and rose to heaven . but if he hadnt died in cross and returned to preach , he would have more followers ?



Absolutely not.

In any case he was fulfilling scripture and in doing so sealing God's new covenant with man.

ok

but to jews a death on cross is accursed according to the law of the Torah .. so that kinda makes him accursed in eyes of jews . :mellow:


so would jesus allow himself to be viewed as accursed ?

/me is getting confused

[Sextent]

Absolutely not.

In any case he was fulfilling scripture and in doing so sealing God's new covenant with man.

ok

but to jews a death on cross is accursed according to the law of the Torah .. so that kinda makes him accursed in eyes of jews . :mellow:


so would jesus allow himself to be viewed as accursed ?

/me is getting confused

What.

[masterbat]

ok

but to jews a death on cross is accursed according to the law of the Torah .. so that kinda makes him accursed in eyes of jews . :mellow:


so would jesus allow himself to be viewed as accursed ?

/me is getting confused

What.

:dabs:

[masterbat]

??

[masterbat]

where is frodo ? i want answers

[Biggles]

where is frodo ? i want answers


:unsure:

I don't think he does answers - only imperatives

[Chip Monk]

Moral imperatives, presumablement.

[Biggles]

Moral imperatives, presumablement.


Those are the fellas

though I don't really know much about that sort of thing

[xfrodobagginsx]

where is frodo ? i want answers

I am right here. What would you like an answer to? :badrod:

[Barbarossa]

Why did God invent wasps?

[Chip Monk]

To take the heat off the bumbly bees.

[xfrodobagginsx]

Why did God invent wasps?

For His purpose. I don't know the answer to that. The bible doesn't say that I know of.

[Broken]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/73/158668253_135e784b72.jpg?v=0

[silent2k8]

Try to do good things. Give me some invites or donate some cash 2 me god will bless you :)

[thewizeard]

God doesn't want you in heaven..

The creator of this world is Satan, xfrodobagginsx (http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/members/xfrodobagginsx-189551), you see; clever the scribes who got you to believe a few badly translated verses.

Only one disciple actually made it to Heaven; his name was Thomas. The reason he, Thomas, made it was simply because he used his brain (intellect) the gift that our Father gave him, rather than rely on blind faith

For all your information.. Heaven is closed until the end of this
Era, ( only 5 years to go) after which time, only a select number of so called "Buddhists will be allowed entry..along with a few Chimpanzees. The Way To Go..is a small valley in South America..and we will be waiting there for you. You must be there by at the latest, half way through October .

One more thing, Heaven is physically located here on Earth ...and I know exactly where, so xfrodobagginsx (http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/members/xfrodobagginsx-189551), you really must stop spreading this crap around, as maybe someone might go and believe you. You would of course be wasting that person's time; for which, God would not look down on you favourably...

Better still is to do the following...Go out and try your best, out of the depth of your heart and Soul, to help all sentient beings without exception and for no particular reason, other than the reason that you do it because of your inbuilt need to help all beings.. The problem being the following...if one does any action with a "selfish" motivation, then it will only produce negative results.

The following reason, for example, is a selfish reason;

1. To help others so that God will favour you and allow you to enter Heaven.

So you see , belief will not help you find the key to Heaven. In fact if you reach heaven, then you are being extremely selfish.:O












The truth is...

[Snee]

This loony tunes fruitcake straight out of the mental hospital on his way to la la land where the big man sits is a clear example of the mentally abused creating the illusion of perfection. Just because he happaned to choose a well founded mass appeal religion to do it in, doesnt change this fact.


There's nothing really new that's said on the internets anymore :dabs:

I would like to think we create a unique sort of chaos and frustration for any muppet wot dare post propaganda and mentalism in here, though.

I'm an interwebs-patriot, that way.

[Sextent]

Snee's right. Get my unfeasibly tall hat, pitchfork and burning brand.

[bigboab]

One more thing, Heaven is physically located here on Earth ...and I know exactly where


Is it in Somerset?:)

[Biggles]

One more thing, Heaven is physically located here on Earth ...and I know exactly where


Is it in Somerset?:)

Oh!

I thought it was the sexy lady thread :frusty:

[FatBob]

heaven is invite only ?