True Story Thread

[Sextent]

My mate had a bottle of after-shave in his desk. It was called Mandate.

I pointed out to him that Man Date sounds like something the gays would wear.

He's still using it.

True story.

[Skiz]

I made a comment to Bo about Hotmail.

He said it figured I like hawt males.

True story.

:pinch:

[chalice]

My son achieved his White-Belt in Ju Jitzu last week.

I told him white belts get awarded to white people and black belts get awarded to black people.

He was outraged.

He is now punching walls and watching Rocky religiously.

[Mr. Mulder]

at least you're not into ugly males, there's nothing worse than a gay with poor judgement. true story.

i got chatted up by a gay in a nightclub on the night of the works xmas party. another true story.

[FatBob]

had a fight with my girl friend today

will break up soon

true story

[Something Else]

My mate ran on stage at a Prodigy gig (He was heavily drugged), tripped over some wires, unplugged the concert and got punched in the face by Keith from the band. The following edition of NME ran with the headline 'Nutter wrecks Prodigy gig'.

True Story.

[Sextent]

Are you doing that I my mate thing again.

[Skiz]

Why did you put a "plus" sign there? :sly:

[Skiz]

^ I failed. :(

[Sextent]

:lol::earl:

[Sextent]

I won £10 on the lottery tonight.

I don't buy tickets meself but Mrs JP's Auntie gets me won at Chrimbo. It's like one of those Wednesday and Saturday for 6 weeks or something else things.

It won £10 last year as well.

True story.

[chalice]

When I was about 17, I only had a pound.

I wanted a sausage roll but bought a scratchcard instead.

I won a 100 squids on that there scratchcard.

I'd lilke to say I made a difference to teh world with yon turn of fortune,

But I didn't..

[Sextent]

Did you ever get the sausage roll

[chalice]

Not a fucking chance, like.

It was fish fucking supper city, like.

[Sextent]

Not a fucking chance, like.

It was fish fucking supper city, like.

:01:

And a bottle of Irn Bru :O

[chalice]

You're only allowed Irn Bru if you're in the 'Ra.

[Sextent]

You're only allowed Irn Bru if you're in the 'Ra.

:O

[Something Else]

I only played the lottery once. The first week it started. I won a tenner and never did it again. So I'm £9 up on the fuckers. :smilie4:

[Sextent]

You, Sir are one of life's winners.

[chalice]

There's a mouse in my house. Possibly plural.

True horror story.

Got 2 of them ultrasonic mouse head-wreckers. Turned them on last night. About 3am, the meeses were going nuts.

My missus is all scared like.

[Sextent]

There's a mouse in my house. Possibly plural.

True horror story.

Got 2 of them ultrasonic mouse head-wreckers. Turned them on last night. About 3am, the meeses were going nuts.

I'm all scared like.

Fixed.

Fuck sake people we want true stories, all this "my mate" or "me missus" stuff is just demeaning. We won't think any less of you for being wanks and wimps.

Seriously, we won't.

Honestly.

[chalice]

I might catch that bastard mouse. I will stake him to a piece of plywood with his guts all hanging out.

I will post a pic of that disemboweled bastard just before you settle down for your Christmas dinner. Then you'll believe me.

True story.

[Sextent]

Do not, under any circumstances googleimage the word vivisection.

Seriously, don't do it.

Ever.

[Sextent]

goatse is ok but.

[chalice]

Advice accepted.

[Sextent]

You know it makes sence.

[Snee]

Pics or it didn't happen.