i must leave you know...

[Mr. Mulder]

...for a day and a half, going on a massive work related bender tomorrow night but have to work saturday and we're starting straight after work tomorrow, which leaves around 15 drinking, shenanigan hours :eyebrows:

goodbye and if this is the last time i speak to you all, you've all been like a family to me :mushy:


a family of fucking retards

[enoughfakefiles]

If you go on a works bender :pinch:

You don't have to go into work the following day.

True story.

[MediaSlayer]

abscense makes the heart grow fonder

[Skweeky]

I am hurt

I thought you were quite fond of me :cry:

[SAM]

dam it , we will miss you :(

[Skweeky]

Can I have one last pic of yer massive cawk?
For old times sake

[Something Else]

Peace n pipe Mulder-san.
Be a good work-related bender. :O

[100%]

http://b.imagehost.org/0038/Picture_4.jpg

[C-mos]

bye man :P

[chalice]

He says this every year when he has to make his pilgrimage to Mecca.

Say hi to Mohammed for me.

[Biggles]

Pace yourself and then you will be able to hoover the drinks left by the other inebriates.

[manker]

:lol: the Scotch :lol:

---

Bring back pics.
You may think of that, sergeant, as an order :smilie4:

[Alien5]

good luck mulder...don't leave steve or whatever his name is for dead again, outside HMV.

[DyNast]

Send us letters... I will be writing to you every round hour

[100%]

http://b.imagehost.org/0038/ooo.png

[Biggles]

http://b.imagehost.org/0038/ooo.png

Nicely summarised Zed

[Something Else]

All's well that ends well. :smilie4:

[Barbarossa]

Last time he did this he was gone for 4 months :emo:

[Skweeky]

http://b.imagehost.org/0038/ooo.png


:lol:

I'm trying to muffle my laughing because the hubbie is home and I don't want to try and explain that one :lol:

[Aaxel21]

Later. Don't have too much fun while your away.

[Mr. Mulder]

i fucked up :emo:

twice :emo: :emo:

went to a few places, had a few drinks and about half way through the night we stopped at this 80's bar where there was this girl who can only be described as a younger gwen stefani. she and her slutty friend were dancing and i was watching her from the bar, she walked off the dance floor, across the room to the bar, grabbed my arm and dragged me onto the dance floor and started pulling off all kinds of crazy sexy moves, shoving her arse into my groin, moving up and down me. given that this was a work night out and the guys from the office were there watching this was perhaps one of my finest if not the finest moment and my man ranking went right up.

unfortunately, i was born with the disability of being white and so i simply cannot dance. i am fully aware of this, its why i stick to standing at bars, i know my place. but when a *insert a sexier word than sexy* blonde pulls you by the arm you can't say no, how could anyone say no? so i just let it happen, i just sort of stood there while she was doing all kinds or orsum things up against me and for sometime this was working beautifully, i had a beer in one hand and the future mrs mulder rubbing against me, but then she asked me to dance with her when this song came on (which wasn't a sexy song like the first one) ...i simply bowed down. i explained to her my disposition and started to walk away, but then she grabbed me again and pulled me back and put her hands on my hips and tried to move them for me, this worked for a little while, but then she let go and i had to walk away :dabs:

why must there be this formality of dancing before sexytime, why can't we just get straight to the raw bedroom action? or even fast forward that to the morning and watch them try to walk in a straight line while i think to my self how orsum i am, but no, the blockade exists, a cawkblawk if you will... :no:

here's a perfect for internet posting pic as a light blurs out my face

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v661/mrmulder/SP_A0529.jpg

as you can see she's bent down and gyrating against me, pushing my abdominal into her face and working her way down and then back up again and i'm just stood there taking it :yup:


...and the second fuck up was exactly the same thing, another blonde (this one was a bit shorter and had these thick emo glasses on, low cut top - she looked slutty as fuck!) except when i tried to walk away she put up a real fight! dragging me back and shouting in my ear (as it was very loud) "im not wasting my time here, get back here now" - but i just walked away like a little bitch :no: ...there was a serious chance of sexy time with her as well, despite the dancing mishap i was still quite firmly in there, but she was with a group of mates and they were all leaving and she got pulled away :emo:

got in at 4am by my self, disappointed as anything - i don't deserve a penis, it should be taken away from me :no:

[chalice]

Mega post Mulster. Kudos.

Welcome beck.

Ewe faggot mong.

[Skweeky]

:angry:

I am so disappointed in you mulder! God gives you a perfectly good, larger than average cawk; and what do you do?
You start whinging because you can't dance!

For Pete's sake!

Most women won't give a fuck about whether you can dance or not. If they asked you to dance they're OBVIOUSLY looking for a 'good time'

I am disgusted, that's what I am

[C-mos]

i feel sorry for u mulder :P

[Mr. Mulder]

Here, take this

http://www.mancard.com/Images/CharterMemberPrototype.jpg

...i won't be needing it anymore :emo:

[Skweeky]

It's people like him who make it difficult for us one night stand sluts :snooty:

[enoughfakefiles]

At least you stayed out till late :dabs:

[Skweeky]

Might as well have stayed in his bed :snooty:

[Mr. Mulder]

i can't even look any of you in the avatar :no:

Another night with skweeky's groin grabbingly orsum bewb pic.


...i'm leaving again, this time for a little bit longer... i shall be gyming harder and drinking even harderer and wont come back until i have something substantial to report, something to make up for all of this - to show this is serious business i've even put montage songs on my mp3 player.

i shall return in the near future, hopefully the very near future.


...until then xoxoxoxox

[Biggles]

Is this one of those epic fail things?

[Skweeky]

He needs to go and find himself and his shrivveled willie

[Proper Bo]

Is this one of those epic fail things?

yes, yes it is.

[Barbarossa]

Bumped, for the tragedy :mellow:

[100%]

Bumped, for the tragedy :mellow:

a tragedy is when a little innocent cute puppy gets killed by some badass dudes.
Mulder is not a tragedy.

[chalice]

Bumped, for the tragedy :mellow:

a tragedy is when a little innocent cute puppy gets killed by some badass dudes.
Mulder is not a tragedy.

More of a tetraplegic tangoist, which falls just short of tragedy and lands painfully in closet-homosexual slapstick.

He should speak to Patrick Swayze.

Nobody puts Mulster in a corner.

[Biggles]

Is this one of those epic fail things?

yes, yes it is.

Thought so.

[Skweeky]

experienced, are you?

[Biggles]

experienced, are you?

Past Master
:dabs:

[Skweeky]

20/20 hindsight?

[SAM]

when will mulder come back, guys?

[Something Else]

He should be back by now. :eyebrows:

[manker]

He should be back by now. :eyebrows:
http://www.msgweb.nl/emoticons/50_50.gif

You're right. I'll text him.

[Alien5]

ask him if he still has a vagina? or has his penis grown back.

[Barbarossa]

Last time he did this he was gone for 4 months :emo:

Bump :eyebrows:

[Alien5]

damn, i wanna know what he had for lunch yesterday. :@

[Skweeky]

nm

[thebazzla]

where are you

[tesco]

If you go on a works bender :pinch:

You don't have to go into work the following day.

True story.
I went on a work bender last summer and still had to go the next day.:(

[Something Else]

Shite. :eyebrows:

[Biggles]

Search parties need to be organised and anti-:emo: squads set up to counsel him out of his epic fail vicious circle of self recrimination (and to prise the My Chemical Romance cds from his grasp).

[manker]

He should be back by now. :eyebrows:
http://www.msgweb.nl/emoticons/50_50.gif

You're right. I'll text him.
I forgot all about that.

Anyone want to say hi or summat?

Requests have to be concise as I only have 150 characters to play with. I don't want it spilling over into two pages as that'll mean I'll be expending 20p instead of 10 :smilie4:

[Biggles]

http://www.msgweb.nl/emoticons/50_50.gif

You're right. I'll text him.
I forgot all about that.

Anyone want to say hi or summat?

Requests have to be concise as I only have 150 characters to play with. I don't want it spilling over into two pages as that'll mean I'll be expending 20p instead of 10 :smilie4:

It is important to be frugal :yup:

Tell him to get his arse back here.

[Barbarossa]

In txtspk...

BIG LES WANTS UR ARSE

[Biggles]

In txtspk...

BIG LES WANTS UR ARSE

:ermm: I have always had reservations regarding text speak - something gets lost in the translation I think.

[manker]

Well, I can't remember it but I must have texted him at some point.

He replied on Saturday night:

Sup, dawg. i can't return as the shame is too great, not until i've regained my mojo - like that film about that spy, die hard i think it was called? Any more fail and big les can have it, peace out xoxoxo

[MediaSlayer]

OH HAIL just post a "i'm having squirrel girl problems" thread and be done with it.

pffft..

[CrabGirl]

I missed this! Where is he! What have you done with him!

manker, tell him if he's having a crisis to talk to Auntie Crabgirl.

[Biggles]

FFS! even super studs have an off night.

It just goes to show none are more critical of us than ourselves.

Bring back our Mulder err.. Mulder - if you can't have a fail amongst friends where can you? :dabs:

[Barbarossa]

tell him kallieb is back from holiday with bikini pics :smilie4:

[chalice]

Agreed, Les.

Mulster's suicide note about his epic failure was quality.

I'd much rather read about that than his coital escapades with some dance obsessed Babylonian who would prolly give him the monkey aids anyways.

Come back, you cunt.

[thewizeard]

...for a day and a half, going on a massive work related bender tomorrow night but have to work saturday and we're starting straight after work tomorrow, which leaves around 15 drinking, shenanigan hours :eyebrows:

goodbye and if this is the last time i speak to you all, you've all been like a family to me :mushy:


a family of fucking retards

hehe finally we have a chance at that 20 $ in the "last one to post" thread. Can't you leave a little earlier? :)

[Gripper]

Right I'm getting on me bike and going to Lincoln to search all the burger vans/chicken shops to see if I can find the Pussy,ffs mulder be like Jack!!!

[Skweeky]

I missed this! Where is he! What have you done with him!

manker, tell him if he's having a crisis to talk to Auntie Crabgirl.

He's on a quest. It's only fair, he let us all down

[Biggles]

Shouldn't we have told him what the quest is though :unsure:

[Skweeky]

Naw, it's more fun this way

[Something Else]

Cawk picks then he disappears.
That's our Mulder. :rolleyes:

[deepee]

theres nothing wrong with a little nap. lol

[Mr. Mulder]

went out last night to see a mates band play, not much to report, it was alright lyke

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/3517/photo0233kj1.jpg

http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/6603/photo0312ri0.jpg

[Mr. Mulder]

was there till closing, was talking to the skanky barmaid for a bit about sabrina the teenage witch, i think i was asked to leave shortly after, then i woke up here

[Skweeky]

So still no stories to make up for your earlier epic failure?

[Mr. Mulder]

no, im saving my self for you.

[Skweeky]

When are we finally meeting?

[Mr. Mulder]

when you least expect it :sneaky:

[Skweeky]

I shall be sure to keep my lady garden trimmed

[Mr. Mulder]

sound advice for us all :smilie4: