Neck broken. Zoot?

[Something Else]

My neck was haxxored in the night by Spider-Monkeys and is consequently fucked.
I'm going to hospital shorty. Would a zoot before be a good idea. :unsure:

[chalice]

Surprised you had to ask. Top notch idea.

Then it won't hurt so much when they stick you on the rack and stretch the fuck out of you.

That's what they do, you know.

[Something Else]

:fear: Rolling it now. :fear2:

[Barbarossa]

what the fuck's a zoot?

EDIT: Oh, is it drugs. :dabs:

Also, don't go to hospital you big timewasting nonce.

[Something Else]

I have to go the drop in place for a neck brace. :emo:

Zoots aren't drugs, they grow from the earth pre-rolled. :smilie4:

[Biggles]

Chalice is right - there will rackorize you and you should be zootless to appreciate the exquisite agony.

People pay good money for that kind of thing you know and you are getting it for free on the NHS.

[thebazzla]

soft wuss

[CrabGirl]

You've probably trapped a nerve in the base of your neck. It's common but really horrible as the muscles around the affected nerve get all inflammed and sore. Is it really painful/nearly impossible to move it to one side and or straighten it?

If so then you don't need a neck brace as immobility will make it worse. You need to take some anti-imflammitories such as ibuprofen and it'll get better on it's own. Keep it moving as much as you can, maybe sit with a hot water bottle on it, keep taking the anti-inflammitories and get the missus to GENTLY massage the whole neck and shoulder area.

Trust me, I'm a pro.


edit: this is where we find out his neck really WAS broken, and my advice to keep it moving kills him. If so, sorry benchez. You were a top bloke.

[Alien5]

Hows your neck Benchez? :console: need help at the shop tomorrow? :naughty:

[Something Else]

I'm back. I fucking hate hospitals. I went to the drop-in place. They make it sound so casual. :dabs:
They said I might have to wait an hour.
I waited an hour and a half in fucking agony from the shitty metal bench in the waiting area.
Eventually everyone got seen so I asked them what was up.
They said it wasn't in order of arrival and it might be another hour or two.
Fuck that, I left.
I don't want to sound like a racist cunt but I was the only even vaguely English speaking person there. :eyebrows:

Got a bit of reiki from my mums mate but she said I need a brace thingy. :emo:
Home about to get very stoned. I'm not working tomorrow methinks.

[Something Else]

You've probably trapped a nerve in the base of your neck. It's common but really horrible as the muscles around the affected nerve get all inflammed and sore. Is it really painful/nearly impossible to move it to one side and or straighten it?

If so then you don't need a neck brace as immobility will make it worse. You need to take some anti-imflammitories such as ibuprofen and it'll get better on it's own. Keep it moving as much as you can, maybe sit with a hot water bottle on it, keep taking the anti-inflammitories and get the missus to GENTLY massage the whole neck and shoulder area.

Trust me, I'm a pro.


edit: this is where we find out his neck really WAS broken, and my advice to keep it moving kills him. If so, sorry benchez. You were a top bloke.

In answer to ''Is it really painful/nearly impossible to move it to one side and or straighten it?''

yes YES FUCKING OW!!!!!!!
Many thanks unless that kills me. :unsure:

[Something Else]

I'm back. I fucking hate hospitals. I went to the drop-in place. They make it sound so casual. :dabs:
They said I might have to wait an hour.
I waited an hour and a half in fucking agony from the shitty metal bench in the waiting area.
Eventually everyone got seen so I asked them what was up.
They said it wasn't in order of arrival and it might be another hour or two.
Fuck that, I left.
I don't want to sound like a racist cunt but I was the only even vaguely English speaking person there. :eyebrows:

Got a bit of reiki from my mums mate but she said I need a brace thingy. :emo:
Home about to get very stoned. I'm not working tomorrow methinks.

Plus I had to pay 3 squid for parking and managed to lose a tenner. :angry:

[CrabGirl]

Benchez I know it's really painful but you don't need a brace unless something is cracked or broken. It's take longer to heal if you dont keep it moving. I know you don't like taking pills but taking ibuprofen, not as a painkiller, but to make the swelling in your muscles go down, will really really help.

Poor thing.

[Something Else]

OK, I'll give em a go like. :emo:
Cheers me dears. :smilie4:

[manker]

I agree with thebazzla.

No such thing as a 'sore neck' in Ebbw Vale. It just doesn't get mentioned.
You're still expected to do a shift in the mine, pack down in the scrum, drink your own weight in Allbright and still win a fight against 3 blokes on the way home.

[CrabGirl]

OK, I'll give em a go like. :emo:
Cheers me dears. :smilie4:

Go for the highest safe dosage you can. Dont forget to apply heat as well. A Hotwater bottle would be ideal. Let me know how it goes. You should regain some mobility over the next 48 hours and if it is what I think it is then you should be ok in about three days. Your muscles will be a bit tender for a while afterwards too. I'd suggest that if you still cant move and are in severe pain on monday then go to your gp.

[Something Else]

I agree with thebazzla.

No such thing as a 'sore neck' in Ebbw Vale. It just doesn't get mentioned.
You're still expected to do a shift in the mine, pack down in the scrum, drink your own weight in Allbright and still win a fight against 3 blokes on the way home.

So that's why they all look like warthogs over those ways. :dabs:

[Something Else]

Go for the highest safe dosage you can. Dont forget to apply heat as well. A Hotwater bottle would be ideal. Let me know how it goes. You should regain some mobility over the next 48 hours and if it is what I think it is then you should be ok in about three days. Your muscles will be a bit tender for a while afterwards too. I'd suggest that if you still cant move and are in severe pain on monday then go to your gp.

All sounds reasonable to me. It does feel muscular so I think your prognosis is spot on. I will keep you up to date on my imminent demise. :cheers:

[CrabGirl]

What does the arm on the affected side feel like?

[manker]

I agree with thebazzla.

No such thing as a 'sore neck' in Ebbw Vale. It just doesn't get mentioned.
You're still expected to do a shift in the mine, pack down in the scrum, drink your own weight in Allbright and still win a fight against 3 blokes on the way home.

So that's why they all look like warthogs over those ways. :dabs:
I've no idea. I'm not brave enough to go there.

I'm surprised that in days gone by that you plucked up the courage, ya soft wuss.

[dinsdale]

Benchez, does this have anything to do with those ribs you got removed last week? It is all starting to add up now...

[Something Else]

What does the arm on the affected side feel like?

The arm is fine and mobile to the maxx. :naughty:

[Something Else]

I've no idea. I'm not brave enough to go there.

I'm surprised that in days gone by that you plucked up the courage, ya soft wuss.

I didn't want to go and was terrified the whole time. :cry:

[Something Else]

Benchez, does this have anything to do with those ribs you got removed last week? It is all starting to add up now...

:pinch: :slap: :dabs: