How to resist the urge to masturbate ?

[J-dye]

how ? :unsure:

[Mr JP Fugley]

Who wants you to do it.

[kittybewm]

How about instead, you go masturbate for however long you want (hopefully long) and then just let your computer rest for a while. Specially the internet part of it. :yup:

[Theif]

Castration might help :whistling

[dedro]

Castration might help :whistling:glagpinch:

[Disme]

how ? :unsure:

Every time I feel the urge to masturbate I read one of your posts ... It really helps ... you should try it :P

[CrabGirl]

Try not touching your cock. That ought to do it.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Try not touching your cock. That ought to do it.

That's just mad talk.

[CrabGirl]

You could use litter-pickers to hold it while you pee.

[Biggles]

You could use litter-pickers to hold it while you pee.

The one with the pointy spike on the end?

:fear:

[Mr JP Fugley]

I'd have to know them fairly well.

And make sure they washed their hands really thoroughly.

[Mr JP Fugley]

I think mine was better, Les.

More tangential and a lot more effort for the picture in words thing.

[Alien5]

you could ask your mum to give you a hand. :unsure:

[Mr JP Fugley]

:pinch:

She's got rough hands.

[Biggles]

I think mine was better, Les.

More tangential and a lot more effort for the picture in words thing.

I was going to add a picture of Parkie from Viz but was too lazy

True Story

[Mr JP Fugley]

You say that now.

[nioin3k]

Remember how guilty you feel after.

Works for me!

[Artemis]

I think mine was better, Les.

More tangential and a lot more effort for the picture in words thing.

oh I don't know les's effort brought an immediate wince to from me, his imagery is more to the point like..............

[C-mos]

Remember how guilty you feel after.

Works for me!


U must be a messenger from GOD :huh:

[Biggles]

Remember how guilty you feel after.

Works for me!

Guilt FTW!

http://www.geocities.com/fang_club/every_sperm_is_sacred2.jpg

[brotherdoobie]

Resistance is futile. Masturbate or do something else.


-bd

[C-mos]

bd..do u masturbate a lot?

[Barbarossa]

how ? :unsure:

For you, I'd say look in the mirror :mellow:

[C-mos]

how ? :unsure:

For you, I'd say look in the mirror :mellow:

:glag:

[brotherdoobie]

bd..do u masturbate a lot?


Indeed. I'm married.



-bd

[C-mos]

ooo...it means there is someone else..who can do the job for you :P:P

[kittybewm]

Did you all go into your marriages thinking, "Maybe we'll be the couple that's different, that doesn't go down hill after marriage" ?? Is there a special married ppls club that teaches you to say scary things about marriage to try and prevent newbs from getting into the club?

[Barbarossa]

Why should we want to prevent it :blink:

I laugh myself silly every time I hear that "Love's young dream" has just got hitched :sly:

[kittybewm]

:o

[brotherdoobie]

Why should we want to prevent it :blink:

I laugh myself silly every time I hear that "Love's young dream" has just got hitched :sly:

Hey, Barbie...


Your dues are due, btw.


-bd

[J-dye]

Who wants you to do it.

my other horny half :happy:

[J-dye]

For you, I'd say look in the mirror :mellow:

na , wont help . am just too sexy :ermm:

[J-dye]

Remember how guilty you feel after.

Works for me!

guilt ?

:unsure:

why should i feel guilty ? :dry:

[J-dye]

do preists masturbate ?

:unsure:

[J-dye]

A Guide to Self-Control:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.
2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.
4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.
5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.
7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act."
The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.






:glag: :dabs:

[C-mos]

Remember how guilty you feel after.

Works for me!

guilt ?

:unsure:

why should i feel guilty ? :dry:

yes :unsure:

[kittybewm]

guilt ?

:unsure:

why should i feel guilty ? :dry:

You should only feel guilty if you are ugly

[brotherdoobie]

guilt ?

:unsure:

why should i feel guilty ? :dry:

You should only feel guilty if you are ugly

Masturbation x Nauseating = Malefaction (?)


-bd

[Hairbautt]

If you keep busy you'll masturbate masterbate less.

[LostInParadise]

If all else fails just taze yourself in the balls, that way they will be engorged without you touching them

[C-mos]

If all else fails just taze yourself in the balls,

:lol:

[Biggles]

guilt ?

:unsure:

why should i feel guilty ? :dry:

You should only feel guilty if you are ugly

Harsh Harsh Harsh

but I can see where you are coming from.

[cook123]

u can resist it?????????

[Biggles]

u can resist it?????????

It is apparently a theoretical possibility.

[nioin3k]

There are a few reasons I feel guilty for masturbating:

1. I usually watch pornography while I'm masturbating. This makes me feel dirty.

2. I feel lonely and pathetic after the deed is done.

3. I live with my Mom.

All together I almost always feel guilty after masturbating.

Perhaps it's just a problem of mine.

[Biggles]

A classic movie lines is in Woddy Allen's Love and Death. After making love to Josephine she remarks how good he was, he replied "I practice a lot by myself".

[chalice]

Woody Allen- Annie Hall

'Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with somebody you love'.

[Barbarossa]

If you're not getting sexy-tyme and you don't wank regularly you tend to find that

a. it starts coming out in your sleep, and
b. eventually you'll stop producing the spermies altogether

Wanking regularly is like a sexual MOT, it flushes out the pipes and keeps your bollocks running smoothly.

To not wank is insane, tbh. To worry about wanking is :emo: to the max.

I bet your mom is doing her own thing too anyway, so there's nothing to feel guilty about :dry:

Obviously, having sex with another person is better, but beggars can't be choosers - Ask Herbert.

I don't mean ask Herbert for .... well, on second thoughts, why not? :blink:

[saqib]

call ur GF and shout at her . and get angry with her , it helps...

[Barbarossa]

http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/8939/masturbatevishnu5a3a73bd6.jpg

B3ta, ftw

[J-dye]

call ur GF and shout at her . and get angry with her , it helps...

pervert paki :ermm:

[J-dye]

http://artofmanliness.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/ring.gif


This device was aimed not only at preventing masturbation, but nocturnal emissions as well. Young men would tie this ring of death around their member, and whenever they became aroused, the spikes would sink into their flesh, causing excruciating pain.

:01:

[Biggles]

http://artofmanliness.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/ring.gif


This device was aimed not only at preventing masturbation, but nocturnal emissions as well. Young men would tie this ring of death around their member, and whenever they became aroused, the spikes would sink into their flesh, causing excruciating pain.

:01:

That or when they grew up they could only have sescky thyme with one of those on :shifty:

[Alien5]

http://artofmanliness.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/ring.gif


This device was aimed not only at preventing masturbation, but nocturnal emissions as well. Young men would tie this ring of death around their member, and whenever they became aroused, the spikes would sink into their flesh, causing excruciating pain.

:01:

can't see the image.
ok i see it now.

[CrabGirl]

Why resist... I'm not! :naughty:

[Barbarossa]

Apparently some people feel guilty :idunno:

[CrabGirl]

Some people are insane. It's my body. I'll touch it if I like thanks.

[Alien5]

:blink: do you cook naked?

[mbucari1]

A classic movie lines is in Woddy Allen's Love and Death. After making love to Josephine she remarks how good he was, he replied "I practice a lot when I'm alone".
Fixed.

One of my favorite movies of all time.

[CrabGirl]

:blink: do you cook naked?

No. I don't wish to risk nipple-burn. :ermm:

[Hairbautt]

I always try to save up on my ammo since I think its a sure sign of masculinity to shoot a lot out, if you know what I mean.

[F3n1x]

Brain control...

[Hairbautt]

Are you talking 'bout will power?

[brotherdoobie]

I always try to save up on my ammo since I think its a sure sign of masculinity to shoot a lot out, if you know what I mean.


It prolly looks real "manly" at the circle jerk.



-bd

[weenden]

have spikey gloves ....man that would leave a mark if you did it with them on

[Hairbautt]

I always try to save up on my ammo since I think its a sure sign of masculinity to shoot a lot out, if you know what I mean.


It prolly looks real "manly" at the circle jerk.



-bd
Wouldn't know anything 'bout it, but I'll take your word for it.

[EyezSS]

A classic movie lines is in Woddy Allen's Love and Death. After making love to Josephine she remarks how good he was, he replied "I practice a lot by myself".

haha, i bet he is not the only one :lol:

[J-dye]

boredom = masturbation

:dabs:

[brotherdoobie]

boredom = masturbation

:dabs:


Mutual?


-bd

[brotherdoobie]

It prolly looks real "manly" at the circle jerk.



-bd
Wouldn't know anything 'bout it, but I'll take your word for it.

Why take my word for it. My words are mine. Ask someone in your "circle."



-bd :mellow:

[Hairbautt]

You want to join, don't you?

[brotherdoobie]

Are you grooming me, Harry?



-bd :lips:

[IdolEyes787]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

[J-dye]

Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

:w00t:

[J-dye]

i think we should celebrate a masturbation day like christmas , earth day etc etc

[mrnobody]

i think we should celebrate a masturbation day like christmas , earth day etc etc

why? You wanna make a river of cum? :rolleyes:

[Artemis]

i think we should celebrate a masturbation day like christmas , earth day etc etc


Why do you need a special day ? you seem so naturally talented in this respect :blink:

[bmick]

stop masterbatin thats blasphemy

[Biggles]

stop masterbatin thats blasphemy

Do please expand on this point. It is not that I have any specific desire to see a blunt and heavy theological axe ground to a fine edge but rather I feel the reprobates here would benefit from such an exposition and it their well-being I am primarily condisering.


.....or something else.

[dedro]

stop masterbatin thats blasphemy

Do please expand on this point. It is not that I have any specific desire to see a blunt and heavy theological axe ground to a fine edge but rather I feel the reprobates here would benefit from such an exposition and it their well-being I am primarily condisering.


.....or something else.
yeah ...what he ^^ said:huh:

[t0mmy]

one thing that helped me, was to stay away from the computer and not think about such things :P even when i got the urges i quickly found something else to do :D

[bmick]

if god didnt want us to masterbate he would of gave us opposible thumbs lol wwjd?

[lostdemon]

This is simple.
Resist by getting some head or getting laid.
Do that enough and there'll be no need to do such things to yourself.

[brotherdoobie]

This is simple.
Resist by getting some head or getting laid.
Do that enough and there'll be no need to do such things to yourself.

That's mad talk. Ask my wife.


-bd

[100%]

Optional Alternative.
Imagine what you could have done with all the energy.
http://dpawsey.tripod.com/scarymofo.jpg

[chalice]

Zed, that's sacrificing masculinity for mass.

Is that even real?

His testicles must be like peas.

[danio]

hit yourself in the balls really hard everytime you think about touching yourself. i haven't tried it myself but i guess it might work. :whistling

[J-dye]

no more resistance, if you dont turbate you will get teh bad prostrate cancer

[dedro]

This is simple.
Resist by getting some head or getting laid.
Do that enough and there'll be no need to do such things to yourself.

you must not be married w/children....i remember those day

but things have been looking up this week i must admit

[Something Else]

Cover your hands with sandpaper. :smilie4:

[The Flying Cow]

Idle Hands are the Devil's Playground.

[Biggles]

Scorpions in your underpants.

[J-dye]

keeps the doctor away

[Biggles]

keeps pretty much everything away


'cepting meerkats prolly

[Something Else]

I met a meerkat. Scared the crap out of me. True story.

[Biggles]

I met a meerkat. Scared the crap out of me. True story.

Bus or social event?

[Something Else]

I was in South Africa. A place called warmbaths or something else. It came out of a bush at me at about 2 .a.m. in the dark. :fear:

[ericab]

watch schindlers list

[brotherdoobie]

watch schindlers list

Unless...you're a Nazi.


-bd

[chalice]

watch schindlers list

Watch my foreskin.

[mrnobody]

simple answer: you don't

and then u go blind oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[J-dye]

its ectoplasm