Incident At IKEA

[chalice]

Such a blissful Saturday when your spouse announces upon your good self that on a Jewish Sabbath morn, she will evacuate the homestead with her female progeny in tow towards IKEA.

Much internal hand-rubbing did I indulge upon. Many poorly conceived impossibilities did I imagine in the naive moments before reality clicked quickly into gear. I wasn't overly despondent at the thought of marshaling the remaining male issue. Moreover, I was relishing the concept of a Boys' Day In.

This rapidly dissolved, like.

Next installment to follow, like.

[chalice]

Potter did I, potter to the max.

The 3 year old had bounced himself out on the trampoline by noon.

The 10 year old was palpably sniffing around pubescence.

Something had to give.

[Something Else]

You could have a lot of putting together of crap furniture to do when she returns. :eyebrows:

The veggie hotdogs they sell are win though.

[Proper Bo]

The veggie hotdogs they sell are win though.

What the fuck is veggie hotdog?

Why the feck do ewe vegemetarians pretend to have hotdogs/burgers/sausages?

[chalice]

I will divert from my narrative for the moment to confirm to the Northern English that IKEA sells all sorts of mental foods.

It was their 21st Anniversary today. They were selling all manner of mental hotdogs, burgers, gravy chips and the like for 21p.

21 fucking P like.

[Something Else]

The veggie hotdogs they sell are win though.

What the fuck is veggie hotdog?

Why the feck do ewe vegemetarians pretend to have hotdogs/burgers/sausages?

Because we can't eat meat and are naturally partial to sausage shaped foods. :ghey:

[brotherdoobie]

I agree with Bo. Pretend sausages is fucking mental.


-bd

[J-dye]

do you write books chalice ? :unsure:

[Snee]

I agree with Bo. Pretend sausages is fucking mental.


-bd

Pretend sausages + lesbians + cameras = proof there may be a God.

[Something Else]

So that's how to get to heaven. :naughty:

[Mr JP Fugley]

If it's vegetarian it's not a sausage.

[Something Else]

If it doesn't contain earlobes, eyelids and arseholes it's not a sausage.


/Fixed :dry:

[Mr JP Fugley]

If it doesn't contain earlobes, eyelids and arseholes it's not a sausage.


/Fixed :dry:

Yup, you say that like it's a bad thing.

Remember I come from a country where we eat haggis.

[chalice]

Can't be arsed continuing in the same style as I am not pished anymore.

Cut a long story short, the missus got into a row at IKEA with some cheeky bastard in the queue who was showing off in front of his burd.

The missus won. The patrons of IKEA laughed. The cheeky bastard took a red face and shut the fuck right up.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Vicarious congratulations.

[Skweeky]

I would love a wee bit of haggis in batter with some chips and some red sauce

[Alien5]

i would love to know what that tastes like, post me some please.

[Mr JP Fugley]

It's kind of tomatoey but also has a sharp taste to it, whilst still being sweet.

[Alien5]

but i can't taste anything you lunatic. :idunno:

[Mr JP Fugley]

but i can't taste anything you lunatic. :idunno:

That's a shame.

Did you lose your sense of taste in a tragic cawk sucking incident.