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CrabGirl
05-11-2008, 02:21 PM
I'm trying to revise and theres a posh student type in the garden 2 doors down going on and on and on on his mobile, SHOUTING to whoever is on the other end of it about the biggest load of crap imaginable. He's done world hunger and poverty then segued neatly into cricket clubs and staying in Knightsbridge. He's got one of those strident self important voices which because he believes he is gods gift, means that he feels he can speak as loudly as he can because EVERYONE will be interested in what he has to say. He is in short a complete cunt and I'm a hairs breadth away from hurling a ton of abuse out of the window. :angry::angry::angry::angry:

J-dye
05-11-2008, 02:27 PM
try it

dedro
05-11-2008, 02:29 PM
do it:angry:

J-dye
05-11-2008, 02:30 PM
then she dies

chalice
05-11-2008, 02:32 PM
Stroll unobtrusively by, whistling to yourself some popular ditty of the moment. Have about you an air of pleasant nonchalance, afford yourself a middle-distant smile. Once within arms reach, yank the phone from his smarmy fingertips and drop it into whichever beverage he is refreshing himself with on this fine Sunday (probably Pimms).

Chuckle heartily and call him a pretentious cunt. You know it makes sence.

Mr. Mulder
05-11-2008, 03:06 PM
pimms rawks :emo:

through a brick at his face, problem solved.

Skweeky
05-11-2008, 05:13 PM
I agree with chalice's approach.
I mean, what is he going to do about it? Phone the police and tell them he's been molested by a wee Greek burd?

CrabGirl
05-11-2008, 05:17 PM
He's STILL talking. I've realised he isnt on a mobile, there is someone else there who isnt getting a word in edgeways. I'm going out in a minute so I might have a bitch at him on the way past.

Mr. Mulder
05-11-2008, 05:28 PM
He's STILL talking. I've realised he isnt on a mobile, there is someone else there who isnt getting a word in edgeways. I'm going out in a minute so I might have a bitch at him on the way past.
tell him his hat looks stooped then run away, even if he's not wearing one.

Biggles
05-11-2008, 05:35 PM
He's STILL talking. I've realised he isnt on a mobile, there is someone else there who isnt getting a word in edgeways. I'm going out in a minute so I might have a bitch at him on the way past.
tell him his hat looks stooped then run away, even if he's not wearing one.

That works even better if he is not wearing one


Friend of mine was irked in a similar way in Glasgow Airport and shouted Oi! Knob! STFU! very loudly. It worked. Mind you he is a big lad from Greenock.

Skweeky
05-11-2008, 06:00 PM
It doesn't seem plausible that you know a big person from Greenock. You're an accountant ffs.

sleepyy
05-11-2008, 06:12 PM
I tend to play annoying foreign music and pop out for 30 when the neigbours get on my nerves

Biggles
05-11-2008, 06:17 PM
It doesn't seem plausible that you know a big person from Greenock. You're an accountant ffs.

I know :shifty:

I don't think he can believe he knows me either

CrabGirl
05-11-2008, 10:33 PM
I threw chewing gum in his garden on the way back home.

Come on, it's a start.

brotherdoobie
05-11-2008, 10:36 PM
I threw chewing gum in his garden on the way back home.

Come on, it's a start.


Is he still blathering on? You would think that he would bore himself to
death, eventually.


-bd

CrabGirl
05-11-2008, 10:37 PM
Nah he probably shut up as soon as I went out earlier.

Nobber.

brotherdoobie
05-11-2008, 10:41 PM
Maybe he is dead (death by chewing gum).


-bd

CrabGirl
05-11-2008, 10:42 PM
I'd settle for maimage of the mouth!

brotherdoobie
05-11-2008, 10:45 PM
I'd settle for maimage of the mouth!

Loose lips...alliteration, ftw!


-bd

Artemis
05-12-2008, 11:45 AM
I'd settle for maimage of the mouth!

or you could settle on the purchase of one of those gas canister powered air horns and keep it ready for the next enthralling installment. If he's as much of a loudmouthed frog as you say , he's sure to treat you to another exciting dissertation on his opinions, and you can show your utter rapture with your newly acquired air horn :naughty:

Squeamous
05-13-2008, 06:31 AM
Oh that's a brilliant idea! :lol:

Skweeky
05-13-2008, 08:38 PM
I like the gas cannister idea as well! Subtle and blatantly obvious at the same time.
Que fuerte!

brotherdoobie
05-13-2008, 08:51 PM
I like the gas cannister idea as well! Subtle and blatantly obvious at the same time.
Que fuerte!

How is it possible to be subtle with an air horn? :blink:


-bd

brotherdoobie
05-13-2008, 08:57 PM
Ah, irony. I understand.


-bd

manicgeek
05-16-2008, 09:45 PM
Stroll unobtrusively by, whistling to yourself some popular ditty of the moment. Have about you an air of pleasant nonchalance, afford yourself a middle-distant smile. Once within arms reach, yank the phone from his smarmy fingertips and drop it into whichever beverage he is refreshing himself with on this fine Sunday (probably Pimms).

Chuckle heartily and call him a pretentious cunt. You know it makes sence.

So CG did you get rid of this cunt ? If not go find out about a thing called sidetone... phones have it so you can hear yourself when you speak into them, but it has a specific frequency that makes listening to the other end of a call fucking unbearable... and you can whistle that frequency... it's a cunts trick, but it works :lol:

You only need to be within about 15 foot of the phone whilstling at a certain frequency and whoever is on the other end will decide they'd rather end the call. It just happens that the frequency is exactly the same a a specific note that is used in rule britannia... stand within 15 foot of any phone and whistle it and you can prove the effect ;)

Anyway just a thought for the future.

CrabGirl
05-16-2008, 09:47 PM
Stroll unobtrusively by, whistling to yourself some popular ditty of the moment. Have about you an air of pleasant nonchalance, afford yourself a middle-distant smile. Once within arms reach, yank the phone from his smarmy fingertips and drop it into whichever beverage he is refreshing himself with on this fine Sunday (probably Pimms).

Chuckle heartily and call him a pretentious cunt. You know it makes sence.

So CG did you get rid of this cunt ? If not go find out about a thing called sidetone... phones have it so you can hear yourself when you speak into them, but it has a specific frequency that makes listening to the other end of a call fucking unbearable... and you can whistle that frequency... it's a cunts trick, but it works :lol:

You only need to be within about 15 foot of the phone whilstling at a certain frequency and whoever is on the other end will decide they'd rather end the call. It just happens that the frequency is exactly the same a a specific note that is used in rule britannia... stand withing 15 foot of any phone and whistle it and you can prove the effect ;)

Anyway just a thought for the future.

Noted with thanks! The recent three days of uber-rain has driven him indoors so I've had a break from the chinless guffawing idiot.

Snee
05-16-2008, 10:00 PM
Although I don't think that's gonna do much if he is, in fact, talking at someone else in the yard the next time too.

CrabGirl
05-16-2008, 10:09 PM
Good point. I'm saving up my cat's droppings so I can launch them at him.

lovewalrus
05-20-2008, 02:59 AM
you should consider moving away from an area considered a hotspot for self-important plum mouthed, ra-ras.......... it will be your only salvation..... still better then high street ken..!

CrabGirl
05-20-2008, 08:21 AM
Why should I move house. He's a student in a shared house and won't be there for longer than a year. He's pretty much the only posh twat I've noticed around here so I don't think the area can be considered a "hotspot" for his ilk, though I do like your turn of phrase.

Move house? I am indignant at the very notion sir.

At least I don't live near this guy
http://www.thisisplymouth.co.uk/displayNode.jsp?nodeId=181429&command=displayContent&sourceNode=230601&home=yes&contentPK=20666258

Disme
05-20-2008, 08:41 AM
Next time try flashing your boobs ...

lovewalrus
05-20-2008, 09:26 AM
tough call but i think you are right... smelly pigeons are not a good neighbour.

and it is a good location i'd probably sit it out too.... although my card happy hands could never live that close to Harvey Knicks et al...