Any US residents

[shutdk]

I have a few questions for you if you live in America!
Do you? :happy:

[deuce6000]

Ask Away.

[bigjoe75]

Do we what?

[upGrayde]

yes

the ultimate bacon cheeseburger from jack in the box is as good as it looks

[shutdk]

Do we what?

Live in America :-P


I'll pm you some questions soon.


yes

the ultimate bacon cheeseburger from jack in the box is as good as it looks


/me drools

[deuce6000]

I want to know what this is all about too :)

[shutdk]

pm'ing you the questions now.

[Detale]

Really more of a lounge topic no?

[lovewalrus]

i live in the US too.....do i win a prize now...... i want a bloody goldfish... they've not banned them here have they..?

[clocker]

Real Americans don't answer questions, they ask 'em.
"What you talkin bout willis?", for example.

[dinsdale]

Real Americans were wiped out by Europeans a while ago.

[C-mos]

Real Americans were wiped out by Europeans a while ago.


so true :)

[Barbarossa]

There are no such things as real americans

[dinsdale]

There are no such things as real americans

Nihilist

[SgtMajor]

Now there's something you don't see every day, people admitting they are actually merkins, I thought they were all Scottish or Irish or Latino.

[WarrenBuffet]

I think he was asking us... er, I mean Americans if they are happy.

[IdolEyes787]

Dear Citizens of America,


In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”

8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.

17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of Jessies - English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).

18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.


Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese


(http://www.blogthings.com/howamericanareyouquiz/)

[clocker]

I hate malt vinegar.

[Detale]

Dear Citizens of America,


In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”

8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.

17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of Jessies - English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).

18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.


Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese


(http://www.blogthings.com/howamericanareyouquiz/)

Although this is funny, I'm sure we can safely say whatever flaws the USA may have we are still the biggest kid on the block :01:

[Squeamous]

Yeah, like one of those really big retards that don't know their own strength.....like Master Blaster from Mad Max Thunderdome. Only instead of Master sitting on the shoulders you've just got George Bush :console:.

[IdolEyes787]

Master Blaster.:lol:
Wait a second wasn't Blaster good-hearted?

[Mathea]

What were the questions he sent you?

[brotherdoobie]

Banal generalities...taste like shit.


-bd :snooty:

[KFlint]

Dear Citizens of America,


In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”

8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.

17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of Jessies - English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).

18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.


Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese


(http://www.blogthings.com/howamericanareyouquiz/)

Although this is funny, I'm sure we can safely say whatever flaws the USA may have we are still the biggest kid on the block :01:

actually there is one thing that really pisses me about usa, why have they decided to call themselves americans, i'm canadian and i am a legitimate american too ffs, usa isn't america, just a part of it

usa stole my continent i have to say it :cry::cry:

[Skiz]

This land mass was known as the "Americas" long before my country was founded.

We're simply the United States of America.

[KFlint]

This land mass was known as the "Americas" long before my country was founded.

We're simply the United States of America.

Then rename your people to Unitians, United Statians or whatever and leave the "American" title to all American countries

do you realize how self-centered it looks?

In french, some are calling you "États-Uniens" (would translate to United Statians i guess) because this "American" name is simply wrong

but we should not be surprise, how many americans give a heck about canada, mexico etc...

[brotherdoobie]

Radio edit




bd

[brotherdoobie]

This land mass was known as the "Americas" long before my country was founded.

We're simply the United States of America.

Then rename your people to Unitians, United Statians or whatever and leave the "American" title to all American countries

do you realize how self-centered it looks?

In french, some are calling you "États-Uniens" (would translate to United Statians i guess) because this "American" name is simply wrong

but we should not be surprise, how many americans give a heck about canada, mexico etc...


Canadians don't even care about Canada, ffs.


bd :dabs:

[Barbarossa]

but we should not be surprise, how many americans give a heck about canada, mexico etc...

I love that you put "etc" for all the other countries :happy:

[Something Else]

lololol

Brilliant ironing.

[JPaul]

but we should not be surprise, how many americans give a heck about canada, mexico etc...

I love that you put "etc" for all the other countries :happy:

:lol::earl:

Comedic fantasticism.

[KFlint]

but we should not be surprise, how many americans give a heck about canada, mexico etc...

I love that you put "etc" for all the other countries :happy:

don't share a border with the usa, rumors say they don't even exist :whistling

[KFlint]

enough said, i like usa, but just give all the legitimate americans their name :cry::cry:

[JPaul]

enough said, i like usa, but just give all the legitimate americans their name

The classic enough said scenario.

[Detale]

Real Americans were wiped out by Europeans a while ago.

Sucks to be them then doesn't it? Everyone was wiped out by someone at some point right? It's just our turn now Who knows maybe Austrailia will be the next superpower:ermm:

Enough said

[Skiz]

This land mass was known as the "Americas" long before my country was founded.

We're simply the United States of America.

Then rename your people to Unitians, United Statians or whatever and leave the "American" title to all American countries

do you realize how self-centered it looks?

In french, some are calling you "États-Uniens" (would translate to United Statians i guess) because this "American" name is simply wrong

but we should not be surprise, how many americans give a heck about canada, mexico etc...

WTF are you going on about? :blink:

It's The United States of America. As in, these are 48 states which are within America, or the United States of these Americas.

You probably don't know a great deal about our history, but that appellation was given back before we were a large country. It was given to us in 1776 if I recall, and our entire country consisted of 13 small states along a portion of the East coast of North America. It positively was not chosen as some sort of haughty act no matter how much you'd like to believe so. :dabs:

[KFlint]

It's The United States of America. As in, these are 48 states which are within America, or the United States of these Americas.



i know that for sure but it's not my point, united states is a country, not a continent, i don't care if they use the continent name or not as a part of their name, that doesn't change a thing, they shouldn't use the continent people designation as their name

let's say China or India was called " United states of Asia" for whatever historical reason, would they call themselves Asian? the larger designation of Asian would be messed up by that

same is going on with the usa, you are Americans, but just like the 20 others countries or so in America

[Something Else]

You merkins are turning the lounge in to one of your :ghey: debate classes. :no:

[IdolEyes787]

It's The United States of America. As in, these are 48 states which are within America, or the United States of these Americas.



i know that for sure but it's not my point, united states is a country, not a continent, i don't care if they use the continent name or not as a part of their name, that doesn't change a thing, they shouldn't use the continent people designation as their name

let's say China or India was called " United states of Asia" for whatever historical reason, would they call themselves Asian? the larger designation of Asian would be messed up by that

same is going on with the usa, you are Americans, but just like the 20 others countries or so in America

Me and 30 million other Canadians don't give a f**k.

[KFlint]

Me and 23 millions other English-speaking Canadians prefer to stay USA's good little doggy.


:shifty:

USA has a big ego, admit it or not... that's it

i think i'm off-topic :blushing:

[JPaul]

How can a country have an ego.

[Skiz]

No shit.

We're the best country in the world ffs. How can we have an ego problem?

[JPaul]

No shit.

We're the best country in the world ffs. How can we have an ego problem?

:lol: as if to prove his point.

That's almost like an American doing irony. Has someone rubbed off on you.

[KFlint]

No shit.

We're the best country in the world ffs. How can we have an ego problem?

hahaha, then we are on the same page

fuck i've been taking too strong meds lately i guess, feel so much anger in my above posts checking them back...who is this bitter guy :sick:

[Acid_death69]

Dear Citizens of America,


In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”

8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.

17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of Jessies - English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).

18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.


Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese


(http://www.blogthings.com/howamericanareyouquiz/)

lol that was brilliant :lol:

[clocker]

Not as brilliant as some anonymous webtard writing a screed and then attaching John Cleese's name to it to gain a bit of legitimacy.

Leave Britney alone!

[Acid_death69]

:lol: