Do you have homosexual friends/relatives?!

[BOOM]

Last week a cousin of mine said to all my family that he`s gay!!
His life became a hell cuz almost all in my family stopped to talk with him since. Only my mother,two uncles and me still talking with him :(

I don`t care if he is gay or not...I just believe that is not our sexuality that says who we really are!!

Dou you have homosexual relatives or friends?? What would you do if you had one??

And why does sexuality still being so relevant when u will judge someone?!

lets discuss ;)


[.. and sorry for my bad english]

[ilw]

yeah i've got a good friend who's gay, I've known him since i was about ten and he only came out to me & our group of friends when he was about 20. Didn't really bother me (or anyone in the group), although it was a bit of a shock, but it did make things a bit weird between us for a while. I don't think that was because i started treating him differently, it was more like he was free to act in a way that was more natural for him and it was different to how he used to be.
He has told his brothers and sisters, but not his parents because they're fairly religious catholics and he's not sure how they'd take it.

I'm not sure i understand people who react badly to finding out a friend or family is gay, it doesn't change anything apart from who they're shagging...

[Squeamous]

Yeah, I've got some pet homos in my circle. My best friend, my boss, and a couple of acquaintances. None of my relatives though for some reason, which I suppose is a bit strange since 1 in 5 of us or something is meant to be homosexual. I don't remember there ever being a 'coming out' with any of them, it was more of a case of them mentioning a partner or saying 'you know I'm gay, right' to which I'd just go 'oh, alright'. But I think I'm part of the generation for whom it's not something to be admitted or announced...it just is. I think if someone feels the need to 'come out' it's a bit sad. They shouldn't have to any more than I need to stand in a room and tell everyone I have sex with men.

[ilw]

Yeah, I've got some pet homos in my circle. My best friend, my boss, and a couple of acquaintances. None of my relatives though for some reason, which I suppose is a bit strange since 1 in 5 of us or something is meant to be homosexual. I don't remember there ever being a 'coming out' with any of them, it was more of a case of them mentioning a partner or saying 'you know I'm gay, right' to which I'd just go 'oh, alright'. But I think I'm part of the generation for whom it's not something to be admitted or announced...it just is. I think if someone feels the need to 'come out' it's a bit sad. They shouldn't have to any more than I need to stand in a room and tell everyone I have sex with men.

i don't think thats entirely accurate, i'm from the same generation and people still feel the need to 'come out' to family and friends who've known you for a long time. And, if my friend is anything to go by, its still pretty nerve wracking coming out to those closest to you as there is always the chance that someone will take it badly.
It sounds like the gay people you know were already out when you met them either because they'd already told the people who matter to them or it was obvious from a young age. I'd agree that these days people don't have to make a big deal of it when they meet new people, but i reckon gay people still face a sort of one off (but protracted) coming out ordeal in one way or another.

[Squeamous]

I think a lot of the time homosexuals feel they have to 'come out', but when they do their friends and family either say 'we know' or 'well, duh!' It's nowhere near as big a deal to most people as they think it will be. I've had experience of that recently with an acquaintance. He'd built this big thing up in his mind and no-one else really cared. A couple of the others never had a 'coming out'. They just always were what they were and never felt the need to hide it or announce it. But then I live in a heaving diverse city, not some backwater dump in the bible belt.

[ilw]

In contrast me and mon ami grew up in london (ie heaving and diverse) and some/many of his close friends (me inc) and family had no real idea. My mate still believes it would be a very big deal to his parents, and I don't think he's wrong.

[tralalala]

My dad's uncle is gay (talks like a woman and cross-dresses I think). I've never actually met him but it doesn't bother me..

A friend of mine said she was a bi-sexual (not to me though, obviously doesn't trust me), but she told my g/f (who told me of course..). Didn't give a shit.. I mean, hell, lesbians are pretty kewl as long as they're hawt :shifty:

[ahctlucabbuS]

"Her life became a hell cuz almost all in my family stopped to talk with him since. Only my mother,two uncles and me still talking with him http://filesharingtalk.com/vb3/../../../../../../../../images/smilies/sad.gif"

This is transsexual =P

Anyhow, good for him!

You see it in nature as well. From a natural point of view it's perfectly, well, natural... Of cource the tendency for reproduction keep some of us biologically inclined to oppose same sex partnershio.

Well, too bad, we're already 6.6 billion, or so, fucking people on this world! More homos please!

[j2k4]

...I live in a heaving diverse city, not some backwater dump in the bible belt.

You have a bible belt, too.

How about that.

I think the need to "come out" is, for the most part, a felt need born of societal perceptions; the impression that heretofore uninformed personal/familial relationships are somehow inherently skewed (would they be any less so for coming out), and the pressures inflicted by the gay community (illegitimate, to my mind).

Gay or straight, we live best when we resist being co-opted by peers.

As Squeamous has noted, there is no reason for anyone to lead with the fact of their sexual orientation, which tendency seems to strike gays relatively often - I find this incredibly irritating, and have in several instances countered with, "Hi, I'm Kev, and I'm terribly straight", which has earned me some consternation.

Of course, if everyone did what I do, we'd have much less to complain about, truth. :whistling

[identity]

I don't know anyone that has openly declared themselves to be homosexual. I have had some bisexual female friends.

Personally, I don't care about people's sexual orientations. I would consider myself to be extremely open minded compared to the average person. It's 2008, I think people need to get over the homosexual issue by now. It's not the 60s anymore.

[j2k4]

It's 2008, I think people need to get over the homosexual issue by now. It's not the 60s anymore.

Same with the race issue, I think.

[bigboab]

I don't know anyone that has openly declared themselves to be homosexual. I have had some bisexual female friends.

Personally, I don't care about people's sexual orientations. I would consider myself to be extremely open minded compared to the average person. It's 2008, I think people need to get over the homosexual issue by now. It's not the 60s anymore.

I have known many who have openly declared themselves to be homosexual. It is a case of 'so what'. Makes absosutely no difference.

Only once have I been taken aback(no pun intended). At the start of one academic year when when I was getting the students to introduce themselves to each other. Out of the blue, this student stood up and said 'I am XXXXX and I am bisexual'. For a moment you could have heard a pin drop. After that the whole class became completely relaxed and were more open then any class I have ever taught.:)


Same with the race issue, I think.
@ Kev. Very ambiguous statement. :lol:

[j2k4]

I have known many who have openly declared themselves to be homosexual. It is a case of 'so what'. Makes absosutely no difference.

Only once have I been taken aback(no pun intended). At the start of one academic year when when I was getting the students to introduce themselves to each other. Out of the blue, this student stood up and said 'I am XXXXX and I am bisexual'. For a moment you could have heard a pin drop. After that the whole class became completely relaxed and were more open then any class I have ever taught.:)


Same with the race issue, I think.
@ Kev. Very ambiguous statement. :lol:

I didn't have much to work with. :dabs:

[kallieb]

hmmm....

Coming out..as they say, is much more complex than just an 'in your face' declaration.

In spite of the statements suggested within this thread, being 'gay' in a number of societies - even ones that we consider very liberal - can be risky on a number of levels.

Diversity and tolerance both within a Society's institutions and legislation, as well as common values, is never absolute. It is irrefutable that where ever there exists difference, beside it will also exist judgement and condemnation.

In spite of a child hearing a parents or other family members words of love and acceptance each day of their life, there will exist that moment of doubt that judgement will be harsh if the truth of their 'gayness' comes out.

Imagery of such identify is clearly not the most positive overall, when one considers it critically.

Do a distortion of the Broverman study

how many terms do you consider when you say the word "gay". They compare that to how many words you consider when you think of the word "freak". Probably find a lot of parallels.

A gay person grows up within this same milieu, and at their core fears that which worries them the most. Rejection.

Regarding, the 'coming out' to one and all over and over in casual social situations as a way of introduction... the Hi, Im Joe and I'm gay....... hmmm.... I guess gay pride is one explanation. It's only been in the past few years that one could even whisper about being gay without fear of getting bashed. Another consideration is that it is indeed an "in your face" kind of pay-back. A game of "i dare you to call me a fag". You don't like it well you can go hide in the closet for a change.

Political correctness turned around . Shoe on the other foot so to speak.

Just some ramblings........

[Nemrod]

Sometimes somebody have whispered to me: "do you know that xxxx is gay?... my answer, if any, is: ah ok, but... what was that so interesting thing you had to tell me?.

To me, being homosexual is like being blonde, tall, fat, funnny, idiot, serious, catholic, with glasses, samba fan, wise, or movie fan, it´s just other characteristic in the person.
I´ve never given any relevance to that, I only give relevance to the person as person, the whole package... is he/she a good person or not?.
I mean, if a guy or girl is good person, friendly, helpful, or for any reason I found that is worthy, I give 3 shits to his/her sexual preferences, tastes or whatever, as far those preferences don´t affect me or don´t go against my principles.

[kallieb]

it is this person who is compelled to whisper and gossip that forms the reason why so many gay people have a hard time being comfortable within their own identity. So often they know...always always know...there is someone around, never far away, that will point and snicker.... So humiliating...

[Nemrod]

Probably I may sound stupid (as a matter of fact I usually do)... but I don´t get the point of that "come out" thing. I tried to understand it, people have explained to me in many ways, and even some friends have made maps and diagrams for me and still don´t get it... I can´t, sorry.
Why?... I can´t picture myself with my parents (if they would still be alive), my brother, uncles and aunts, cousins, closed friends, the dog and the parrot for telling them: "Dear family and beloved friends, I have a very important thing to tell you... I can´t keep this thing that´s burning my chest and make my nights endless... I need to be free, I made my decision and it´s irrevocable... I can´t deny what I really am... so, here I go: I like women, I really do... it´s something stronger than me... I like them all... blonds, brunettes, asians, black, swedish... any woman... I die for them".

It would be ridiculous, right?... why should I have to tell my sexual preferences?, and if I´d do that the next thing would be me in a mental institution.
But it looks like gays have to do it... and again I ask... why?... why if a "straight" guy does it it would be absurd but if a homosexual is who confess his/her preferences is something brave, and the maximum proof of i don´t know what shit.
Equality for me means that: we all are equal and have to do exactly the same.

Ah!... it´s because gays are not "usual" people, they are "different"... shit!, nobody is usual... we all are different, but nobody has to be explaining why the green eyes, the black skin, the 6 feet - 8 inches height, or why in the name of God somebody is Julia Roberts fan (although this should be forced to be explained in detail and with a lawyer assistance, in my opinion).

[kallieb]

simply put...its about how comfortable things will be within the family once the relative starts to walk the talk so to speak. He/she brings home their first same-sex partner. How the family reacts to a marriage invite. How they'll manage/be comfortable with being around when affection is shared. Coming out is not just the moment. It's ... hey...can you handle the lifestyle that is about to come. After all, who would care if your straight sibling brought home an opposite sex partner. It is no big deal. For a gay person, well, they probably would not want to bring someone home who would be treated like pond scum, because. if key family members doth protest too much, then expect one less body at the dinner table for the next umpteen years.

That's just part of it.... i'll let others share

[The Flying Cow]

When I moved out we had two neighbours next to our room who were homosexuals.
1) They were neat and tidy
2) I never heard them in sexual congress (they shared the room right next to ours)
3) The only time I got pished was when I had to bark for them to turn the music down, which they sometimes did early in the morning (~11ish) after hard binge nights it was a pain in the arse.

So no, I have no prejudice. You can bonk who you like, as long as you don't come in my face asking for some secksual favour, I'm cool with wtv. It's your personal life, so. :)

[Boutros]

Homosexuality is a bad thing...why? the answer is very simple...

How is life created? through a Man/Woman, if everybody were a homosexual, then there would be no life on this earth.

Also, if you are a devout christian, you will understand that your sexual organs were not given to you for your 'own pleasure', oh no, they were actually given to you so you could reproduce and give someone else life. Of course in this day and age everybody uses their sexual organs for their own pleasure which is unfortunate.

Lastly anybody who is a homosexual is most likely an atheist, you cannot be a christian and also a homosexual, it just doesn't happen that way, you might 'think' you are a christian but your far from it unfortunately.

[j51im]

I live in a city with many people of this persuasion so it would be quite unavoidable if at least a few of my friends were. Some have actually had quite a hard time accepting it even if they seem fairly open about it. It has given me a bit more insight on the "is it a choice" question, for which I still don't have an absolute answer.

Anyway, my thoughts on the matter really focus around the idea that they are just like anyone else but making that choice and it is theirs to make. What I don't really have tolerance for is the people who jump out and want you to know absolutely that they are different. Unfortunately there are many people in this latter category here.

[The Flying Cow]

Homosexuality is a bad thing...why? the answer is very simple...

How is life created? through a Man/Woman, if everybody were a homosexual, then there would be no life on this earth.

Also, if you are a devout christian, you will understand that your sexual organs were not given to you for your 'own pleasure', oh no, they were actually given to you so you could reproduce and give someone else life. Of course in this day and age everybody uses their sexual organs for their own pleasure which is unfortunate.

Lastly anybody who is a homosexual is most likely an atheist, you cannot be a christian and also a homosexual, it just doesn't happen that way, you might 'think' you are a christian but your far from it unfortunately.

So what are you proposing, ein Führer?

To put homos in concentration camps?

[j2k4]

Homosexuality is a bad thing...why? the answer is very simple...

How is life created? through a Man/Woman, if everybody were a homosexual, then there would be no life on this earth.

Also, if you are a devout christian, you will understand that your sexual organs were not given to you for your 'own pleasure', oh no, they were actually given to you so you could reproduce and give someone else life. Of course in this day and age everybody uses their sexual organs for their own pleasure which is unfortunate.

Lastly anybody who is a homosexual is most likely an atheist, you cannot be a christian and also a homosexual, it just doesn't happen that way, you might 'think' you are a christian but your far from it unfortunately.

Pretty judgmental.

I judge too, but I do it for myself, and I try to be slightly less than God-like about it.

My religious views are for me, and, as I am absent God's wisdom, I shant clobber anybody with them.

Beyond that, I'll leave your post alone.


When I moved out we had two neighbours next to our room who were homosexuals.
1) They were neat and tidy
2) I never heard them in sexual congress (they shared the room right next to ours)
3) The only time I got pished was when I had to bark for them to turn the music down, which they sometimes did early in the morning (~11ish) after hard binge nights it was a pain in the arse.

So no, I have no prejudice. You can bonk who you like, as long as you don't come in my face asking for some secksual favour, I'm cool with wtv. It's your personal life, so. :)


I live in a city with many people of this persuasion so it would be quite unavoidable if at least a few of my friends were. Some have actually had quite a hard time accepting it even if they seem fairly open about it. It has given me a bit more insight on the "is it a choice" question, for which I still don't have an absolute answer.

Anyway, my thoughts on the matter really focus around the idea that they are just like anyone else but making that choice and it is theirs to make. What I don't really have tolerance for is the people who jump out and want you to know absolutely that they are different. Unfortunately there are many people in this latter category here.

Reading these two posts, coupled with my own previously expressed views, it strikes me that alot of gays don't know how to be gay as quietly as many I have been acquainted with over the years.

I have known gays who were openly so without the flames, without the persecution complex, and who couldn't tell you what the inside of a closet looked like, either.

Maybe it's out-of-style.

Of course, this is not to withhold empathy for those who are secreted by certain necessities, either. :whistling

[kallieb]

An interesting point to be raised, in reply to a prominent theme expressed in many posts is...

Why should a gay couple be quiet. Or is this something we expect as a general rule.

If so, do you.....

* Roll your eyes and think quite shoving it in my face, when you see a newly married hetero couple parade down the street with cans banging and horns honking.

* Look twice and go "gross" if you see a hetero couple kiss on the street.

* Feel offended, pissed or grossed out if a hetero person talk about this great date they had/how much they love their new ??/ etc etc

Point is... People say they don't have a problem with gays but then qualify it by saying, well as long as they don't advertise it or put it in my face how much they're into some other guy/girl/lifestyle etc.

Well... how I see it.... Straight couples have been dumb-ass goofy about professing their love in the most oddly public ways for as long as memory holds. Why is this suddenly strange/odd/disgusting/wrong if a gay couple acts in the exact same way.

If you are uncomfortable than you are likely biased and really awkward with same-gender sexuality. Hey, it's not the end of the world. One is hard pressed to find someone who is without a bias.

Just.... don't turn this into the gay person's "problem" for your discomfort.

[j51im]

I am fine with a gay couple holding hands, kissing, or anything else hetero couples do. What I am not fine with is people thinking they are special. Doing things that don't come natural to show off that they walk that road.

[kallieb]

That's not a gay thing. That's just an "i'm full of myself" kind of attitude. Lots of those jerks floating around.

[j2k4]

Why should a gay couple be quiet. Or is this something we expect as a general rule.

I think you are intentionally misapprehending the point I was trying to make, which is not, "if you insist on being gay, would you kindly hide it/shut up about it".

Think more along the lines of being comfortable in one's own skin, and not predicating everything you are (or may be) on that singular fact.

I have had a few conversations with people who were contemplating/agonizing over the question of coming out to family and/or friends, and it always seems to be an exercise in backing the focus out to include all of the other things that make a human being:

"So you're gay, huh? Well, if that's all you are, you're gonna have a tough go of it."

[kalypso]

I have three homosexual cousins, two girls one guy. I don't avoid them because of it, hey, it's their lives, not mine. I don't hold things against people that they can't help. I do pray for them though, that God will forgive them and accept them into Heaven when their time comes, because it is clear in the scripture that he understands and tolerates homosexuality but only if it isn't acted upon. So yeah, I worry about them, but I love them unconditionally, so they are always close to me in my heart. I'd like to believe that God wouldn't judge them and cast them to Hell but I don't know the actual answer to that. I only know what I've read, and that seems pretty clear he doesn't want people acting on it. To act on it would be sinful, and your sins can be forgiven but not if you ask for repentance and then do it over and over again. I don't know. This is a very loaded discussion and I do not wish to upset anyone. I honestly have nothing against gay people myself, I have two very good friends that are gay and they are wonderful people, as are my cousins.

[invadercat]

none that i know of.

[Mr.sharer]

i dont get it . is there anything in the western countries which isnt considered normal ?
i donno why many of you people consider being gay normal ? :dabs:

maybe pedophiles are normal too

[kalypso]

I don't consider it normal. I just don't want to judge them. As far as pedophiles, yes, I guess they are normal. Normal being, a normal occurrence. Not normal as in morally acceptable, because as we all know, one that commits pedophilism, is morally bankrupt.

I suppose the same could be said for homosexuals that act upon it.

In the end, it does not matter what we think anyway. God is the one to judge us, we are not supposed to judge one another (lest we be judged).

[zedex]

God ? dont see any God around this part of the world

[n0_0ne]

I have some gay friends but that doesn't mean their different or weird or anything. We are all the same and it shouldn't matter if your gay or heterosexual or whatever. I know this one guy, who was gay but his community didn't accept him and he had to move because his community behaved so bad. You can't control if your gay or not, so I just accept them as they are. I think that is the best thing to do

[iamKy666]

I dont really care for the sexuality of others,but to be honest i wouldnt like to have homos in my family...
What i really dont like is married gay couples walking down the streets with adopted kids.In the news yesterday,ive seen the first transexual or gay(not sure what she/he was) giving birth to a child.
That sux hard!!!

[eram]

some friends of mine are homosexual and i dont care at all ! and thats what i think everybody should do . in our time discriminating homosexuals is just ridiculous and stupid.
people should be more tolerant regarding other peoples lifestyle and opinions .
in my opinion :)

[bilkenter]

yeah it would be foolish to have grudge against them... Even if i dont have any such friends currently, i would luv to meet them Of course as long as they dont ask for foolish things

[lostdemon]

I have alot of bi and lesbian friends. Most of them are strippers as one would expect but they are cool. I've known alot of them for years because we grew up together and will continue being friends for many years to come.

[ilw]

I have alot of bi and lesbian friends. Most of them are strippers as one would expect

:blink:

[lostdemon]

I re-read what I wrote and it makes me laugh and can see that it doesn't make sense if you don't know me . If you knew me then you would know that mostly all my bi and lesbian friends are strippers. Now you know and maybe it'll make a little more sense

[Busyman™]

To my knowledge, I have no homosexual friends or relatives.

An ex-gf of mine was gay at one point.

[j2k4]

To my knowledge, I have no homosexual friends or relatives.

An ex-gf of mine was gay at one point.

Your post is fraught with ambiguity.

Could you elaborate. :whistling

Also-

Have you finally joined the oppressed ranks of the International Order of Loyal Husbands at all.