Crabgirl's Wine Poem Thread

[Barbarossa]

As promised...

========================================

Champagne, Merlot or Beaujolais Nouveau,
Port wine or Riesling, Cognac or Bordeaux.
Chianti or Shiraz or white Zinfandel,
Armagnac, Burgundy or Sauvignon Blanc.
I know all about wine, I'm quite the connoisseur,
I'll tell you all about them, 'til my words begin to slur.
Drinking wine is good for you it doesn't make you queer,
And you don't get the massive gut you get from drinking beer.
When I drink my wine, I'm cool, sophisticated,
Even though my liver's getting dry and dessicated.
I like to drink wine and I drink it every night,
Even though when I wake up my mouth tastes like shite.

===============================================

[100%]

Mulder that is so very beautiful. :cry:

[Squeamous]

Where is the old cow anyway?

[Mr. Mulder]

Mulder that is so very beautiful. :cry:
thanks, took ages :smilie4:

[CrabGirl]

Heres my final draft and they can choke on it. I'm going to submit Barbs anonymously and see if it wins anything. If it wins any wine Babs I'll send it to you.


Vitis smartipantis

The vine is an academic.
It provides a translation between dry dusty
geography and mouthful flavour.
Soil, stones and slopes become
lush fruit flavors, plump and fleshy.
Sharp minerals, bonded for time with the earth
are released in a heady aromatic nose.

The vine is an historian. Feet rooted in the dust of ages
watching the march of armies across changing borders
in soil sharp with the salt-tang of spilt blood and youth spent.

The vine is an old fashioned explorer.
Marching up unfamiliar mountains overlooking different seas.
Showing resilience and bravery by besting pests and punishing winds
and sleeping under soperific blankets of sweetening mists

The vine is an inspirational linguist,
swirling words around the mouth,
tongue-teased by malvasia, rondinella, sciacarello,
Cheeks sucked in and gums dried by zweigelt, rotgipfler, krstač.
and of course, Gewertztraminer....

I reckon the damn vine payed more attention at school than I did.

[100%]

you spellited Gewürztraminer wwrong. (according to ghoghle).(did not know wtf it was)



"The vine is an academic."

Your explanation of an "academic" in this context is;
aromatic, dusty, earth, plump
seems incorrect, ontop of which academic seems elitist, which it is not if you can relate to any of your frequent wine bacchanals.

first line could be changed to...

The earth it has a vine,
a translation of a mouthful of flavor
embedded with dusty geography
etc




You start with the core and go onto the swirl around the tongue
would nice if it went further to so called development of earth into the mind.(aka mulder poem)

just a thought

sorry

http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x72/everlastinglife_2007/Jesus-BreadWine.png

[Mr. Mulder]

do a poewim about mojitos.

[CrabGirl]

you spellited Gewürztraminer wwrong. (according to ghoghle).(did not know wtf it was)



"The vine is an academic."

Your explanation of an "academic" in this context is;
aromatic, dusty, earth, plump
seems incorrect, ontop of which academic seems elitist, which it is not if you can relate to any of your frequent wine bacchanals.

first line could be changed to...

The earth it has a vine,
a translation of a mouthful of flavor
embedded with dusty geography
etc




You start with the core and go onto the swirl around the tongue
would nice if it went further to so called development of earth into the mind.(aka mulder poem)

just a thought

sorry

http://i180.photobucket.com/albums/x72/everlastinglife_2007/Jesus-BreadWine.png

Sorry. You are missing the point of the poem. Thanks for the critical analysis though.

[CrabGirl]

do a poewim about mojitos.

There once was a young man called mulder,
who'd drink all the Mojitoes he could.
When he was done
he went looking for bumfun
because sucking cawks gave him wood.

[brotherdoobie]

do a poewim about mojitos.

There once was a young man called mulder,
who'd drink all the Mojitoes he could.
When he was done
he went looking for bumfun
because sucking cawks gave him wood.

Harsh.


-bd

[100%]

Our throats take it all.

Ears too

but white wine & mojito

(no finish)

[JPaul]

Grape Juice
Must
Become Wine

[MsDraginGirl]

Wine then beer, feeling queer.

Beer then wine, feeling fine.

[Squeamous]

do a poewim about mojitos.

It's not about Mojitos, but nothing rhymes with mojito :snooty:

Mulder many things had writ
The board did much esteem his wit
And call for some poetick works
To celebrate the one who lurks
On the net, his cock in hand
He shoots from his private stand
His dart of such prodigious length
It pierces the collective conscience thro'
And deep transfixes our bosoms too
Some lines more pitiful than the rest
Begging perchance to see our breasts
Makes Skweeky do what's not so smart
Profess her love upon her heart

(apologies to the memory of Jonathan Swift for the blatant plagiarism :unsure:)

[J-dye]

copy bob dylan = win

[J-dye]

Grape Juice
Must
Become Wine

:glag:

quality lol

[Mr. Mulder]

do a poewim about mojitos.

It's not about Mojitos, but nothing rhymes with mojito :snooty:

Mulder many things had writ
The board did much esteem his wit
And call for some poetick works
To celebrate the one who lurks
On the net, his cock in hand
He shoots from his private stand
His dart of such prodigious length
It pierces the collective conscience thro'
And deep transfixes our bosoms too
Some lines more pitiful than the rest
Begging perchance to see our breasts
Makes Skweeky do what's not so smart
Profess her love upon her heart

(apologies to the memory of Jonathan Swift for the blatant plagiarism :unsure:)
that was beautiful :cry:

[brotherdoobie]

It's not about Mojitos, but nothing rhymes with mojito :snooty:

Mulder many things had writ
The board did much esteem his wit
And call for some poetick works
To celebrate the one who lurks
On the net, his cock in hand
He shoots from his private stand
His dart of such prodigious length
It pierces the collective conscience thro'
And deep transfixes our bosoms too
Some lines more pitiful than the rest
Begging perchance to see our breasts
Makes Skweeky do what's not so smart
Profess her love upon her heart

(apologies to the memory of Jonathan Swift for the blatant plagiarism :unsure:)
that was beautiful :cry:

Were you twisting your nipples as you posted that, Mulder.


-bd :sly:

[CrabGirl]

Grape Juice
Must
Become Wine

I love that.

Especially as Must is grape juice, but you did that on purpose didnt you. Fab.

[JPaul]

Grape Juice
Must
Become Wine

I love that.

Especially as Must is grape juice, but you did that on purpose didnt you. Fab.

You know it, girlfriend.

You were my muse for 5 words of poetic genious.

True story.

[CrabGirl]

I've sent it to my head wine adviser and he loves it too. Again, if you win wine I'll send it to you.

[JPaul]

:lol:

What the fuck is "head wine" that sounds appalling.

[JPaul]

I've just realised.


Grapes
Must
Become Wine


Is probly better.

[CrabGirl]

Chief wine adviser head winohoncho I should have said.

And yes, that is better, and actually quite funny in a sad inside joke way, a bit like how semillion makes wineys chuckle a bit.

[Proper Bo]

is it pronounced semi-on, like?:unsure:

[CrabGirl]

Yup.

So saying "I've got a nice semillion for you" always raises an eyebrow.

[JPaul]

Yup.

So saying "I've got a nice semillion for you" always raises an eyebrow.

I'm trying to stop smiling about that :earl: and being singularly unsuccessful.

[CrabGirl]

I know. Its really sad but I can't help laughing at it too.

[JPaul]

It's bringing out the twelve year old in me.

Obviously when I say there's a twelve year old in me I don't mean literally.

[CrabGirl]

Yeh right. You try and keep a straight face when some little old lady phones you and says "I'm looking for a tasty semillion, can you help me?"

[JPaul]

I would have no option but to cry "WAHEY!"

[Old Geezer]

As promised...

========================================

Champagne, Merlot or Beaujolais Nouveau,
Port wine or Riesling, Cognac or Bordeaux.
Chianti or Shiraz or white Zinfandel,
Armagnac, Burgundy or Sauvignon Blanc.
I know all about wine, I'm quite the connoisseur,
I'll tell you all about them, 'til my words begin to slur.
Drinking wine is good for you it doesn't make you queer,
And you don't get the massive gut you get from drinking beer.
When I drink my wine, I'm cool, sophisticated,
Even though my liver's getting dry and dessicated.
I like to drink wine and I drink it every night,
Even though when I wake up my mouth tastes like shite.

===============================================
What an asinine attempt at poetry and as usual can't spell shit.

Even though when I wake up my mouth tastes like shite

[The Flying Cow]

What an asinine attempt at poetry and as usual can't spell shit.

Tum, ta-da-dum, tu-dum...

:boxing:

:tank:

:stars:





The best poem was clearly Squeam's, IMO. :coffee:

[brotherdoobie]

Heres mine:

Ode To Wine

Drink it or do something else.


-bd

[Mr. Mulder]

Yup.

So saying "I've got a nice semillion for you" always raises an eyebrow.
have you got a wine called fullonrager?

[Barbarossa]

As promised...

========================================

Champagne, Merlot or Beaujolais Nouveau,
Port wine or Riesling, Cognac or Bordeaux.
Chianti or Shiraz or white Zinfandel,
Armagnac, Burgundy or Sauvignon Blanc.
I know all about wine, I'm quite the connoisseur,
I'll tell you all about them, 'til my words begin to slur.
Drinking wine is good for you it doesn't make you queer,
And you don't get the massive gut you get from drinking beer.
When I drink my wine, I'm cool, sophisticated,
Even though my liver's getting dry and dessicated.
I like to drink wine and I drink it every night,
Even though when I wake up my mouth tastes like shite.

===============================================
What an asinine attempt at poetry and as usual can't spell shit.

Even though when I wake up my mouth tastes like shite

Let's see your attempt at a poem then, misery-guts :mellow:

[Mr. Mulder]

my name is Old Geezer,
everyone here will out live me
something that rhymes with geezer



:unsure:

[Mr. Mulder]

Beaver, beaver rhymes with geezer :smilie4:

[The Flying Cow]

Don't mess with the Old Geezer
He's got his head up his ma's Beaver
Hard as he may try, he cannay leave her
So much so he's caught hay fever
He's a failed achiever
And clearly not a believer
in the rhyming powers of barbarella

He's a runt cunt
On a neverending hunt
for some cawk
As he has a blunt
end, where his cawk used to be

[Alien5]

crabirl sits on the floor thinking about the poem drinking her wine.

old geezer walks past in a grumpy mood with his bollocks dragging along the carpet. :eyebrows:

eewwwwwwww...

[Disme]

my name is Old Geezer,
everyone here will out live me
something that rhymes with geezer
:unsure:

Ok ... here we go...

My name is Old geezer,
everyone here will out live me.
Better put my sorry old ass in the freezer.

Next ...

[Detale]

In the freezer I will stay
until they take me away
to the retirement home
where I'll be all alone
watched for slips and falls
tripping on my saggy balls

next...

[Skiz]

What an asinine attempt at poetry and as usual can't spell shit.

Even though when I wake up my mouth tastes like shite

Let's see your attempt at a poem then, misery-guts :mellow:

I'm surprised you didn't knock that one out of the park. :lol: