Crabby's new best friend

[Squeamous]

I note that there's now an opening in her friend portfolio on account of one of them turning out to be a puckered old cunt. I thought we could have a Paris Hilton style contest :smilie4:

Sooo, Crabby, what do we need to do to join the illustrious ranks?

[chalice]

Ewe are an uberbitch.

Got any car crash jokes?

[Squeamous]

I thought I was being amusing and friendly. How wrong can a girl be? :cry:

[Something Else]

You're lovely. :console:

Chalice was just being amusing and friendly.

[Squeamous]

Oh that's alright then :snooty:

Ok, here's my manifesto:

1) I will always make sure I'm fatter and my make-up is less artfully applied
2) I will always remember your birthday and buy you pretty shiny things on it
3) I will not shag your boyfriend
4) More than once
5) I will pretend I really wish I had hips like yours
6) I will always get more pissed and embarrassing than you
7) I am not a member of Myspace

Well, I think I know who's going to win this contest :happy:

/quietly confident

[Agrajag]

I agree with Chavice, you were being totally insensitive and unnecessarily hurtful.

For shame.

[Skweeky]

:no:

I thought I was in the running there until I made it to point 6.

[CrabGirl]

Brilliant thread.

Can anyone top squeamouses amazing offer, bearing in mind I will soon need a job and a shoulder to cry on...?

[Agrajag]

She's smiling on the outside but I sense tears.

[CrabGirl]

Hush now, let me maintain my brittle facade a while longer will you.

[Agrajag]

Fair enough, your dignity is all you have left.

[CrabGirl]

Don't even have that. Think I inadvertently exposed myself to my new polish downstairs neighbors by folding washing naked in front of a window that looks over the back garden that no one uses.... except now the new Polish neighbors.

I'm alreet though.

[Agrajag]

Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ... Mulder ...

[CrabGirl]

:glag:

[chalice]

:glag:

[chalice]

Double:glag:

[chalice]

Triple:glag:

[CrabGirl]

Chalice my man, I am glad my loss of dignity brings a smile to your face.

:lol:

[Skweeky]

I don't know if I can top Squeams offer, but here goes:

* I will always be hairier than you
* Your eyebrows will always look better than mine
* I can teach you swear words in 5 different languages
* I can always supply you with Belgian chocolate (my brother is a chocolatier)
* I will always show you any body parts on request.




*

[clocker]

I don't know if I can top Squeams offer, but here goes:

* I will always be hairier than you

* I will always show you any body parts on request.




*
We have a winner.

[Squeamous]

I don't know if I can top Squeams offer, but here goes:

* I will always be hairier than you
* Your eyebrows will always look better than mine
* I can teach you swear words in 5 different languages
* I can always supply you with Belgian chocolate (my brother is a chocolatier)
* I will always show you any body parts on request.




*

Marry me!

[Acid_death69]

lol tis a good thread:p Im curious to whether someone will actually win and not bribe CG with chocolate:P

[Squeamous]

I bet my sister is chocolatier than Skweeky's brother. She weighs about 20 stone :yup:

[Acid_death69]

I bet my sister is chocolatier than Skweeky's brother. She weighs about 20 stone :yup:
:blink: Oh

[Skweeky]

I don't know if I can top Squeams offer, but here goes:

* I will always be hairier than you
* Your eyebrows will always look better than mine
* I can teach you swear words in 5 different languages
* I can always supply you with Belgian chocolate (my brother is a chocolatier)
* I will always show you any body parts on request.




*

Marry me!


I guess there would be no harm. It's not like I'm already married to a girl and I can't see the husband objecting (much)

[Squeamous]

As long as he doesn't mind sleeping on the sofa when I come over :snooty:

[Acid_death69]

3 in the bed and the little one said......... sleep on the sofa!

[Squeamous]

Quite!

[Skweeky]

We have a big massive super king size bed :shifty:

[Squeamous]

There might be enough room for 3, but not 4 surely!

[CrabGirl]

I don't know if I can top Squeams offer, but here goes:

* I will always be hairier than you
* Your eyebrows will always look better than mine
* I can teach you swear words in 5 different languages
* I can always supply you with Belgian chocolate (my brother is a chocolatier)
* I will always show you any body parts on request.




*

Oh Skweeks! Thats amazing... its a close run thing.

However I do not think you would be hairier than me. I am greek and aging remember!

[CrabGirl]

We have a big massive super king size bed :shifty:

Buy a bigger bed and we'll all share. You, Squeamous, me, hubby and little un.

It'll be fun!

[Skweeky]

I am part Slovakian. I am bound to be hairier than you. I can comb the hair on my arms ffs :lol:

I think maybe it would be a better idea if we just padded a whole room so we could sleep anywhere. Even on the ceiling.

[Acid_death69]

lol i think you should spike the hair on ya arms, would it work?

[Squeamous]

I am part Slovakian. I am bound to be hairier than you. I can comb the hair on my arms ffs :lol:

I think maybe it would be a better idea if we just padded a whole room so we could sleep anywhere. Even on the ceiling.

:O You're describing a Swinger's sex room! Except the padding is usually wipe clean :sick: