Letters Of Complaint.

[j2k4]

What do you think a 1337 job in the IDF would be.

Intelligence force. Working with the Mossad/Shabak (equivalent to the MI5 and MI6). Dealing with policies about war/peace. There's plenty of stuff to do there.. If I could master Arabic in 5 months, I'd probably get in there pretty easily.


I reckon I could master Arabic in 5 months, providing I had nothing else to do.
The basics of any language can be learnt in under month, the rest of it comes by reading, listening and writing it. True story.

Who are you to argue, Rafi.

Get cracking, and thank Allah that Sonja has a baby on the way, or she'd come over there and get all 1337 on you. :whistling

[Skweeky]

:yes:

I so would

In fact, if this baby proves to be a quiet one ( about 0.01% chance of that), I shall learn Arabic by the time my maternity leave finishes, just to prove you a point :snooty:

[brotherdoobie]

Oh he's diabetic. Maybe the worst of the racism only comes out when he's hyperglycaemic.

If untreated, hypoglycemia can lead to confusion, coma or convulsions. Hypoglycemia often comes within minutes.

It all makes sence now.


-bd :mellow:

[Squeamous]

Dear Till Lady in M&S

I have been served by you for the last 6 months at least. We've even talked. I am not an undercover policewoman and I am not a teenager, I am 28. Teenagers don't purchase a pint of milk, a bottle of sweet sherry and a packet of tenderstem broccoli when they wish to get pissed. One day I will not have my driving license on me and then where will we be? Please stop being a knob.

[j2k4]

Dear Till Lady in M&S

I have been served by you for the last 6 months at least. We've even talked. I am not an undercover policewoman and I am not a teenager, I am 28. Teenagers don't purchase a pint of milk, a bottle of sweet sherry and a packet of tenderstem broccoli when they wish to get pissed. One day I will not have my driving license on me and then where will we be? Please stop being a knob.

Oh, Lord, the poor little till lady! :cry:

[tralalala]

@JP - It simply interests me.. All that secretive work.. It fascinates me.

@J2 - Sonja!? Feck sake, that's the first I've heard of Skweeky's name.. Nice to meet, Sonja :)
BTW, am thinking of watching Al-Jazeera daily now to see if I can crack down that language, as I've learnt the basics a couple years back..

@Sonja - Keep your word, and I'll buy you a baby present when he/she/it is born :)

[Skweeky]

I said by the time my maternity leave is finished. It doesn't start until October. And it finishes nxt June :lol: Alhough I reckon I could get some stuf done in a month or so :unsure:

[brotherdoobie]

Dear Till Lady in M&S

I have been served by you for the last 6 months at least. We've even talked. I am not an undercover policewoman and I am not a teenager, I am 28. Teenagers don't purchase a pint of milk, a bottle of sweet sherry and a packet of tenderstem broccoli when they wish to get pissed. One day I will not have my driving license on me and then where will we be? Please stop being a knob.

It's good to see you're alive. I get carded all of the time. I'm guessing you'll be more appreciative - in another 10 years.


-bd :yup:

[IdolEyes787]

:yup:Carding is not a insult it's a compliment.

[tralalala]

I said by the time my maternity leave is finished. It doesn't start until October. And it finishes nxt June :lol: Alhough I reckon I could get some stuf done in a month or so :unsure:

So the bet's on?

[Squeamous]

It's good to see you're alive. I get carded all of the time. I'm guessing you'll be more appreciative - in another 10 years.


-bd :yup:

Only just. I don't mind really...it's just another conversation I could do without having.

[Something Else]

Love to your nipples. :smilie4:

[Skweeky]

I said by the time my maternity leave is finished. It doesn't start until October. And it finishes nxt June :lol: Alhough I reckon I could get some stuf done in a month or so :unsure:

So the bet's on?


Well, I'll need see how it goes when the baby is hee. I doubt I'll have much time to learn Arabic :unsure:
Let me see where I stand at the end of September and I'll let you know whether I'll take your bet on doing the basics in a month.

[JPaul]

@JP - It simply interests me.. All that secretive work.. It fascinates me.



So you posted about it on a public internet forum in which you are a member of staff, assisting other to break the law.

Good thinking.

[Skweeky]

:lol:

[tralalala]

@JP - It simply interests me.. All that secretive work.. It fascinates me.



So you posted about it on a public internet forum in which you are a member of staff, assisting other to break the law.

Good thinking.

Posted about what? No one really knows who I am here, just as much as I don't know who you are, or Skweeky, or 99.9% of the others here (apart from maybe their first name).
I never actually stated what the "secretive work" included, simply because I myself do not know, it's the low-profile all these organisations take that fascinates me.

@Skweeky - OK, let me know in a months time :)

[JPaul]

If they couldn't find out who you are they aren't worth joining.

[IdolEyes787]

How many love-struck, Scotch drinking ,tennis loving,computer nerd Israelis could there possibly be?

[Skweeky]

Hmmm, I reckon JP had too much coke last night and is having a paranoid come down.

[Skweeky]

Hmmm, I reckon JP had too much coke last night and is having a paranoid come down.

[JPaul]

Who is also just about to join them remember.

[JPaul]

Who is also just about to join them remember.

[Skweeky]

Hmmm, I reckon JP had too much coke last night and is having a paranoid come down.

[Something Else]

Dear Newcastle fans.

Why do you chant 'Tsunami' at puntsphere matches.

It's distasteful and cruel. Cunts.

Yours sincerely. Bar Steward.

[Something Else]

That took a while. :eyebrows:

[JPaul]

benchez seems to have a post waiting in the cue to get into this thread.

[Acid_death69]

seems the forum has aids again:eyebrows:

[JPaul]

benchez seems to have a post waiting in the cue to get into this thread.

See.

[Skweeky]

Liking the new sig Jp!

[JPaul]

Yours is verging on the ominous.

[Skweeky]

Just wait to seewhat it'll look like in a few weeks time when I post a live stream to the hospital.

If you're still looking for a present to buy; a home made cd with nursery rhymes sung by you would be good.

Just for a laugh like.

[JPaul]

I've got 4 mate, been to all the births.

Stream away.

[chalice]

I've been witness to 3 c-sections.

A natural birth would be a nice change with less intestines.

Bring it on, Skweeks.

[brotherdoobie]

I could barely stomach watching my three being born. It's gruesome.


-bd :sick:

[Skweeky]

:lol:

I'm afraid it may be a violation against forum rules. And the logistics of setting up a webcam in the hospital with a live stream may prove difficult as well.

[brotherdoobie]

:lol:

I'm afraid it may be a violation against forum rules. And the logistics of setting up a webcam in the hospital with a live stream may prove difficult as well.

It doesn't have to be a live feed. You could record it, and stream it from home, at a later date.

I would appreciate a warning, however. So I can do something else, that day.


-bd :mellow:

[Skweeky]

:lol:

It's not happening. I don't want any video footage of my down belows being stretched to maximum capacity. :fear:

[chalice]

:lol:

It's not happening. I don't want any video footage of my down belows being stretched to maximum capacity. :fear:

Stretched to maximum capacity? :blink:

I thought it was Mulder's baby. :unsure:

[tralalala]

@JP - Great sig.. Tasteful, yet funnily funny :)

@Skweeks - How's about setting up a camera feed of your facial expressions before, during and after the deed is done? :yes: Now that would be an interesting thing to watch. :eyebrows:

[tralalala]

@JP - Great sig.. Tasteful, yet funnily funny :)

@Skweeks - How's about setting up a camera feed of your facial expressions before, during and after the deed is done? :yes: Now that would be an interesting thing to watch. :eyebrows:

[Skweeky]

Fuck off, I say to that :lol:

[JPaul]

@JP - Great sig.. Tasteful, yet funnily funny :)



I'm assuming you've made enquiries.

http://www.instantarabic.com/

[JPaul]

Learn Arabic like
a secret agent

InstantArabic is for those that want to learn conversational Arabic fast. Developed by the U.S. State department and used by government agencies for the last 40 years, you too can learn Arabic quickly.

[tralalala]

I could use that, but no way in feck am I paying for it.. Might just go watch Al Jazeera or go into the nearest village here and talk there instead..

[JPaul]

A man with your connections must be able to steal it.

[Skweeky]

If you already know the basics, I would just go and talk to some people. Providing it's the same type of Arabic of course.

[tralalala]

Doubt it.. Won't watching Arabic news help..? :unsure:

[JPaul]

It'll just get you angry

[tralalala]

How do you figure that? I usually know what they say - Israel this and Israel that.. So it's just placing the "this" and "that" words in order to learn them :)

[JPaul]

How do you figure that? I usually know what they say - Israel this and Israel that..

How can you have so little self-awareness.

You really are as bad as BawA now, just wearing a different hat.

[brotherdoobie]

He's too mired in hatred and self righteousness to hear any of us now. He believes his "truth" is the only truth, and has closed his mind.

However, I feel as if, I should try. Rafi, it's not too late to change, to leave the anger behind, and feel empathy for your "enemies" and trust - that they will learn...to do the same.

p7pAvbjChQM


Peace, Paul

[JPaul]

:yup:

Henrick Larsson ftw.

[tralalala]

I do feel empathy for our enemies.. I know they want to blow the fuck out of us for living in the land of Israel, for having an army that, let's admit it, sometimes blows it's weapons near civilians.. I understand Al-Qaeda for wanting to kill all the infidels and have them burning in fire because they aren't good enough for the Muslim empire they want to build.

In all honesty, I DO understand that. What I refuse to understand is the reason they have for not empathising us.. Why can't they understand our reasoning behind going after people who we heavily suspect are going to try and kill tens or even hundreds of innocent people..

But scrub that, this is empathy we're talking about, and yes, I seriously do understand what they think and believe.. But as the definition of empathy goes - I may understand them, but I don't necessarily have to agree with them.

Not only that, but you buttraped me for that "Israel this Israel that".. Turn on the BBC once in a while (the world service).. I don't know about you, but there have been times when quite a bit, if not most of the news items had some sort of connection to Israel.. Whatever it may be. It's funny, as we are like one of the smallest countries in the world, with a population of around 75% of Greater London, yet the Arab world, and no doubt most of the western world feel they have to take us so seriously as if we're a threat to the world. It's ridiculous. If the BBC would report less on Israel, the less people would feel they are threatened by Israel. Or something else..

But hey that's just me talking after being up for 1 hour..

[Acid_death69]

why do people feel threatened by israel? your miles away and like you said have a smaller population than us:s

[JPaul]

I do feel empathy for our enemies.. I know they want to blow the fuck out of us for living in the land of Israel, for having an army that, let's admit it, sometimes blows it's weapons near civilians.. I understand Al-Qaeda for wanting to kill all the infidels and have them burning in fire because they aren't good enough for the Muslim empire they want to build.

In all honesty, I DO understand that. What I refuse to understand is the reason they have for not empathising us.. Why can't they understand our reasoning behind going after people who we heavily suspect are going to try and kill tens or even hundreds of innocent people..

But scrub that, this is empathy we're talking about, and yes, I seriously do understand what they think and believe.. But as the definition of empathy goes - I may understand them, but I don't necessarily have to agree with them.

Not only that, but you buttraped me for that "Israel this Israel that".. Turn on the BBC once in a while (the world service).. I don't know about you, but there have been times when quite a bit, if not most of the news items had some sort of connection to Israel.. Whatever it may be. It's funny, as we are like one of the smallest countries in the world, with a population of around 75% of Greater London, yet the Arab world, and no doubt most of the western world feel they have to take us so seriously as if we're a threat to the world. It's ridiculous. If the BBC would report less on Israel, the less people would feel they are threatened by Israel. Or something else..

But hey that's just me talking after being up for 1 hour..

What are you talking about.

It's your bigoted rant against Russians I'm referring to. The "send them all fucking back" one. Remember. Your anti-Arab stance is a separate example.

If someone in my country said, as they do, send all the Pakistanis home I would describe them as a bigot. How is what you said different. Fuck sake, I was born in Scotland as were my parents, I've now got people chanting that I should go home (to Ireland presumably) the famine's over apparently.

[tralalala]

Ah.. The Russian thing.

Well, you'd be surprised, but a fair amount of the population in Israel is quite pissed at the fact that a serious percentage of the Russian immigrants to Israel came here for no reason other than an economical one. Not a Jewish one. That's what irritates me so much. So yes, Israel was created for the JEWS (and I don't care what BaWa says), so why come here and do things which are totally opposite to the reasoning behind the existence of out state? That's why I was ranting about them.

Having said that, didn't Skizo have a long rave about the Mexicans in the US..? :whistle:

[JPaul]

Ah.. The Russian thing.

Well, you'd be surprised, but a fair amount of the population in Israel is quite pissed at the fact that a serious percentage of the Russian immigrants to Israel came here for no reason other than an economical one. Not a Jewish one. That's what irritates me so much. So yes, Israel was created for the JEWS (and I don't care what BaWa says), so why come here and do things which are totally opposite to the reasoning behind the existence of out state? That's why I was ranting about them.

Having said that, didn't Skizo have a long rave about the Mexicans in the US..? :whistle:

I do it but so do other people has always been the "defence" of the bigot.

So, everyone in Israel is a Jew, that's not what I was led to believe. In fact I thought around 25% of the population was non-Jewish.

[tralalala]

Doesn't change the fact Israel was declared as Jewish state from the start, and ever since has had a vast majority of Jews. I never actually meant (or said for that matter) that Israel is totally and 100% Jewish.

And all this talk about bigotry.. I'll bet you you'll find it much harder to find one person who isn't a bigot (what's the word opposite to a bigot? :blink:) in a group of 1000 people than someone who is. There is bigotry all around. People will always prefer to be in a group of people like them, rather than with others. It's the way nature made us.
Would you feel more comfortable going into a rally or whatever surrounded by Pakistani immigrants, or with a group of fellow Irish-Scots (in your case)? And don't use that "well, it depends how nice they are" shite.. Generally speaking, who would you rather be with? Obviously the Irish-Scots.. For the simple reason they are more alike you than the Pakistanis. Same thing with me and Russian immigrants who try and preserve their non-Jewish way of life, even though they used the excuse of having a great grandparent who happened to be a Jew to get into Israel.

[JPaul]

That's entirely different from saying get the fuck out of my country. Most specious argument you've come up with yet. I don't spend most of my time with Irish-Scots. Actually maybe I do, I simply don't know because I don't care. The fact that you do speaks volumes.

Re you Jewish state point. The fact is that 25% of the population is not Jewish and have a non-Jewish way of life. So why are you singling out the Russians. Why not send every non-Jew out of Israel. Or is that what you really want.

[tralalala]

You've missed the point.

The point was that these Russian Jews I speak of, are actually people who came from Russia CLAIMING they were Jews, since the law in Israel accepts people who's grandparents were Jews into the country (Like the Nuremberg Laws). This created a situation where a person, who's grandfather was a Jew, but who married out, and had kids who married out who had kids, actually is not Jewish by definition (as a Jew must have a Jewish mother.. In this case, he does not). Hence by Israeli law he is entitled to come here as a Jew, but according to Jewish law he is a Christian all the way.
This situation basically has people coming here saying "oh yes my grandfather was a Jew so let me in", and they do, using this Jewish thing as an excuse to get in, and then, once in, do nothing that gives the slightest idea that they may be of Jewish heritage - With Christian tattooing, non-Kosher food, hailing Hitler and the likes of him, hating the state of Israel..

Why oh why would I want people like that in Israel? (and FYI, these people are counted in the 75% that are considered Jews in Israel).



That's what I was (and still am) so pissed off about.

[JPaul]

They legally entered the country under it's laws. Seems fair enough to me. If they were illegal immigrants fair enough they should be thrown out, but they aren't. They are therefore no different from any other non-Jew living a non-Jewish lifestyle in Israel.

It's Israel's own laws ffs.

"and FYI, these people are counted in the 75% that are considered Jews in Israel" so it's not even 75% Jewish. What percentage is Jewish then.

[tralalala]

"Properly Jewish"? Probably 60% would be my guess.

And yes it is Israel's laws.. It's a very problematic law, one which I am not totally 100% in support of. It doesn't mean I can't be pissed off with these particular Russians coming here claiming they are being hunted down for being Jews, when a bunch of which haven't even been circumcised.. They shouldn't be here if they don't want anything to do with the Jewish religion.. It's a little like the Mexicans in the US, only here the Russians use the law to gain economical advantages, whereas in the US the Mexicans are illegal immigrants. The idea stays the same.. They don't emigrate for "love of the state" they're going to, but rather for their own personal gain, and quite frankly it's annoying and wrong.

[clocker]

They don't emigrate for "love of the state" they're going to, but rather for their own personal gain, and quite frankly it's annoying and wrong.
Don't most people emigrate for personal reasons rather than some nebulous "love of the state" concept?

I decided to become a Canadian landed immigrant because I love Tim Hortons for instance, not because their national motto stirred my soul.

[JPaul]

It's a little like the Mexicans in the US, only here the Russians use the law to gain economical advantages, whereas in the US the Mexicans are illegal immigrants. The idea stays the same..

No, it isn't the same.

So Israel is in fact 60% Jewish. Of that how many would you say were proper practising Jews. Even to a minimum level, carrying out the bare minimum to call themselves a practising Jew.

[tralalala]

@clocker - The State of Israel was established by Jews who came here for Zionism reasons. My parents came here from Britain for the same reason. My dad would be making 4 times the dosh back in the UK. That's the thing.. Most Jews actually come here for the love of Israel, not for the love of money.. You think those American Jews coming here do it for economical reasons? You've got to be kidding me..

@JP - Practising Jews? Depends what you mean.. I consider myself a practising Jew, but a black-hat religious nutter would probably not. So if you're going by my view, I'd say about 30-40% are of some sort of practice level.

[JPaul]

So well under half of the population is actually Jewish in any meaningful way.

[clocker]

@clocker - The State of Israel was established by Jews who came here for Zionism reasons.
That's nice.
The US was started by folks seeking relief from religious persecution and look how that's turned out.

[JPaul]

@clocker - The State of Israel was established by Jews who came here for Zionism reasons.
That's nice.
The US was started by folks seeking relief from religious persecution and look how that's turned out.

What

[tralalala]

^Precisely what I was thinking :mellow:

[brotherdoobie]

You think those American Jews coming here do it for economical reasons? You've got to be kidding me...

Yes, actually.

A multitude of incentives are offered by the government and Jewish organizations: free religious or secular education for children, tax breaks, university scholarships, help in finding a job.


-bd :ermm:

[Squeamous]

Doesn't change the fact Israel was declared as Jewish state from the start, and ever since has had a vast majority of Jews. I never actually meant (or said for that matter) that Israel is totally and 100% Jewish.

And all this talk about bigotry.. I'll bet you you'll find it much harder to find one person who isn't a bigot (what's the word opposite to a bigot? :blink:) in a group of 1000 people than someone who is. There is bigotry all around. People will always prefer to be in a group of people like them, rather than with others. It's the way nature made us.
Would you feel more comfortable going into a rally or whatever surrounded by Pakistani immigrants, or with a group of fellow Irish-Scots (in your case)? And don't use that "well, it depends how nice they are" shite.. Generally speaking, who would you rather be with? Obviously the Irish-Scots.. For the simple reason they are more alike you than the Pakistanis. Same thing with me and Russian immigrants who try and preserve their non-Jewish way of life, even though they used the excuse of having a great grandparent who happened to be a Jew to get into Israel.

It's a good job other people don't feel that way or there'd be a lot fewer Jews alive today and there wouldn't be an Israel.

[Skweeky]

Exactly what I was thinking.

Its scary that a people who have been at the receiving end of the most horrendous bigotry possible, can reason that way.

It's scary.

[Snee]

Dear wurk.

Since I didn't get a keycard last week it took me half an hour to get into the office, and then I had to go and pick up my new keycard, and then I had to go back and get the proper code for it.

And now I have the whole office to myself. The whole floor even. For the entire day, by the looks of it, and most of tomorrow too, it sounds like.

Of course I'm gonna go poast on the internets (not as if there's anyone to take a break for coffee or something with). What did you expect?

And possibly try and get into the other offices on this floor. I hear there's some women's thing next door. They might have cool pictures.

Your sincerely, Snee.

[Squeamous]

Exactly what I was thinking.

Its scary that a people who have been at the receiving end of the most horrendous bigotry possible, can reason that way.

It's scary.

And just for the record, we don't all desperately need the validation of having people around us who live like us. I feel uncomfortable when I'm in a place where there are only people like me because I wonder why that is.

[Something Else]

Dear wurk.

Since I didn't get a keycard last week it took me half an hour to get into the office, and then I had to go and pick up my new keycard, and then I had to go back and get the proper code for it.

And now I have the whole office to myself. The whole floor even. For the entire day, by the looks of it, and most of tomorrow too, it sounds like.

Of course I'm gonna go poast on the internets (not as if there's anyone to take a break for coffee or something with). What did you expect?

And possibly try and get into the other offices on this floor. I hear there's some women's thing next door. They might have cool pictures.

Your sincerely, Snee.


Hey, sup Snee. The new job sounds lonely, but possibly naughty fun. :smilie4:

[Snee]

'sok.

I do lots of riting, right now. Compiling a hugernormous document with guides (which I'm writing as I go) on how to do stuff in the system we sell, right now, 'cos all the customers are massive nubs who can't figure stuff out by actually using the system.

I seem to have nominated myself as the resident GUI-programmer thanks to having really good ideas and mentioning them, also. I'm rilly clevar in a stupid, stupid way :dabs: But I was gonna learn that language anyways, so.

And since we've got offices in two different cities I have to travel a bunch :mellow: The office I was at today is the less populated one.

The women's thing next door there is intriguing to the max, though :sly:

[Skweeky]

We use GUI at work. It sucks baws. Do something about it.

[j2k4]

Exactly what I was thinking.

Its scary that a people who have been at the receiving end of the most horrendous bigotry possible, can reason that way.

It's scary.

And just for the record, we don't all desperately need the validation of having people around us who live like us. I feel uncomfortable when I'm in a place where there are only people like me because I wonder why that is.

I'd not thought of you as a paranoid, but now I do.

Thanks. :whistling

BTW-

Still can't think of anything to complain about...

[tralalala]

How about complaining about the fact you haven't anything to complain about in the complaints thread..? :huh:

[j2k4]

How about complaining about the fact you haven't anything to complain about in the complaints thread..? :huh:

Okay, I'll take that.

Thanks, Rafi.

[tralalala]

Any time, Kevin ;)

[brotherdoobie]

We use GUI at work. It sucks baws. Do something about it.

It's most likely that everyone uses a GUI at work, dear.


-bd

[Skweeky]

What are you babbeling about bd?

[brotherdoobie]

What are you babbeling about bd?

I was babbling about GUI's (graphical user interfaces). I believe that's what Snee was talking about; not a particular program, dear.


-bd

[Barbarossa]

What are you babbeling about bd?

I was babbling about GUI's (graphical user interfaces). I believe that's what Snee was talking about; not a particular program, dear.


-bd

I thought Snee was talking about grilled dishes in Korean cuisine, of which I know he has some extensive knowledge. Whoops! :pinch:

[brotherdoobie]

I was babbling about GUI's (graphical user interfaces). I believe that's what Snee was talking about; not a particular program, dear.


-bd

I thought Snee was talking about grilled dishes in Korean cuisine, of which I know he has some extensive knowledge. Whoops! :pinch:

Hey, Barbie nice to see you around, also. Did you just let the proverbial cat out of the bag?



-bd :happy:

[Biggles]

That's nice.
The US was started by folks seeking relief from religious persecution and look how that's turned out.

What

Pilgrim wosname and something to do with turkeys.

[tralalala]

Hoi, new workplace -

How's about giving me a workplace shirt which actually fits for fucks sake!? Like, I was all OK the first day when you gave me a shirt that barely covered my belly, but Jesus, today you come round and give me a shirt which has the left armpit tewtally ripped.. Is that like meant to be a fucking airway or something!?

Fix me up with a shirt that fits properly and isn't torn/ripped/screwed/burnt/fucked up or do something else.


kthxbai.

[chalice]

Dear Ron lying cunt Howard,

how comes you're such a lying cunt?

You used your Hollywood brainwashery to fraudulently invest my time and limited empathy. You portrayed yon John Nash fucker in yon Beautiful Mind film as an asexual, socially aloof genius, loved by his angelic wife, plagued by schizophrenia yet ultimately venerable.

When in fucking fact he was a cottaging/hobbyist adulterer, fathering children elsewhere and vanishing into the auspices of Princeton.

Yours in wavering uncertainty,

John Forbes Nash.

[Biggles]

Dear Ron lying cunt Howard,

how comes you're such a lying cunt?

You used your Hollywood brainwashery to fraudulently invest my time and limited empathy. You portrayed yon John Nash fucker in yon Beautiful Mind film as an asexual, socially aloof genius, loved by his angelic wife, plagued by schizophrenia yet ultimately venerable.

When in fucking fact he was a cottaging/hobbyist adulterer, fathering children elsewhere and vanishing into the auspices of Princeton.

Yours in wavering uncertainty,

John Forbes Nash.

Isn't cottaging and fathering weans mutually exclusive?

[chalice]

Dear Ron lying cunt Howard,

how comes you're such a lying cunt?

You used your Hollywood brainwashery to fraudulently invest my time and limited empathy. You portrayed yon John Nash fucker in yon Beautiful Mind film as an asexual, socially aloof genius, loved by his angelic wife, plagued by schizophrenia yet ultimately venerable.

When in fucking fact he was a cottaging/hobbyist adulterer, fathering children elsewhere and vanishing into the auspices of Princeton.

Yours in wavering uncertainty,

John Forbes Nash.

Isn't cottaging and fathering weans mutually exclusive?

Not entirely, apparently, Les.

From some reports, it is quite physically possible to impregnate women while harbouring homosexual tendencies and manifesting them via the medium of public toilets.

It's a crazy mixed up world. And that's a fact.

Shut that door.

[CrabGirl]

Dear God of Prawns

Why do you make them so tasty. I think I just ate an entire ecosystem.

Yours

Crabgirl.

[Biggles]

Isn't cottaging and fathering weans mutually exclusive?

Not entirely, apparently, Les.

From some reports, it is quite physically possible to impregnate women while harbouring homosexual tendencies and manifesting them via the medium of public toilets.

It's a crazy mixed up world. And that's a fact.

Shut that door.

:O Is that a fact!

I forgot about Tom Haggard (sp?)

Oohh! I could peel a grape

[Skweeky]

Dear Riddrie,

kindly erase yourself from the map for one day on September 24th.

Many thanks,

Skweedrive

[JPaul]

Driving test coming up then old bean.

[Skweeky]

Yeah, and Riddrie is the only place where for some reason I can't get the reverse round the corner bit correct because someone thought it would be a good idea to install an actual 90 degree angle corner somewhere :angry:

[tralalala]

Your tested on a reverse round the corner? :unsure:

My test (well, all 3 of them) were literally 10-15 minutes where the tester took me where his heart desired to see if I do something silly.. In fact I didn't on the first 2 but the tester thought it'd be swell to hit the accelerator when my clutch was down, then claim he accelerated and prevented an accident.. <_<

[Skweeky]

Yeah, you get tested on two manoeuvres. It could be reverse parking, turn on the road, reverse around the corner or emergency stop. I don't have to do the last one due to being pregnant.

Test lasts 40 minutes. They also ask you stuff about the controls of your car etc...

[JPaul]

You don't have to wear a belt either if memory serves.

[tralalala]

Holy feck that sounds terrible.. 40 minutes!? We do 10-15 minutes then switch (2 tests at a time in the same car..).

And I'm guessing you took your test now so as to slim down the option of manoeuvres to do to 3? :shifty:

Clever, very clever indeed.. When's your test then? :smilie4:

[Skweeky]

Naw I don't, but I prefer to anyway. I don't feel comfortable when I'm not wearing a seat belt.

Rafi: It's a week on Wednesday. I should be alright really.I think. I hope :fear: Who invented fucking driving tests anyway? What a cruel thing to do to someone :angry:

[JPaul]

The driving test was invented by the Greeks. I think it was Sophocles who first suggested it.

[tralalala]

Well good luck to you Skweeks.. And yes indeed driving tests suck, they're just a brilliant way to get shitloads of money out of you into the system.

From start to finish (not including insurance on 2 cars), my whole driving-learning process cost probably around 700 quid :angry:

[Skweeky]

It had to be the same people who invented arse fucking :dry:

[tralalala]

Why ever so? :o

Some like it, don't they? :ermm:

[Skweeky]

I'm sure there are some people out there who like the stress of sitting a test as well. I know I used to...

Sitting a test that is, not the arse fucking obviousement.

[tralalala]

:lol::earl:

[clocker]

I had to be the same people who invented arse fucking :dry:
Mulligan?

[brotherdoobie]

It had to be the same people who invented arse fucking :dry:

:lol:

Thanks for that. I just spit tea all over the cat.


-bd

[Biggles]

I had to be the same people who invented arse fucking :dry:
Mulligan?

I thought he invented the free drop on a golf course? :unsure:

[Skweeky]

It had to be the same people who invented arse fucking :dry:

:lol:

Thanks for that. I just spit tea all over the cat.


-bd


Did you wring out the cat to reclaim the tea? :huh:

[chalice]

Bump.

Truly a great thread (if I do say so mysalf) where many members' talents were brought forth.

Dear Cunts wot posted in this thread...

where art thou now?

Sincerely,

chavis bickle.

[j2k4]

Art?

The girl is buried in kids.

Rafi is growing up as well....

[Skweeky]

I'm here, the kids are asleep! And I'm naked. See, I'm still the same old moi :D

[j2k4]

Sorry, hon, I can't complain about that. :P

[Skweeky]

Hmmm, I can't sleep. Someone tell me a story!

[Mokhtar]

i think only place not possible to get reason for complaint letter is McDonalds. they are very professional, but pay bad. :(

[Tadpole]

PLASTIC MODELS
I am an exasperated 80 year old man. This is the third time I have bought a dam plastic model from you and
each time I ended throwing it in the trash. There is always something wrong.
Present model I tried to assemble Shelby GT 500KR. Looks your number for it is 85-4226

Parts that are not even on the schematic
Parts that are impossible to attach where indicated
Parts where there is not a hint as to where to place them

Since I am bored too death just looking at the wall I thought this endeavor would help me pass the time.
Now I see that trying to put one of these dam things together is about as up lifting as watching grass grow.
Assembling one of these kits is impossible with the instructions given.
It is not unlike a Monkey trying to copulate with a football or attempting to nail Jello to the wall.
And one more thing if you can show me that a ten year old can construct one your models I will eat it model box all.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits. Hope your dog dies too

[coaxial]

ur rants = epic

[j2k4]

Dear Automotive Datalogging software manufacturer (wot hails from Olde Blighty}:

Thanks for the spiffy cd, cable and adapter that allows me to plug my netbook into my car to record it's in- and exhalations and various other exertions.

This will be the coolest car-tuning (cartooning?) accessory on the planet...just as soon as you tell me which of the five motherfucking serial #s/activation/validation codes I need to enter at each of the six or seven opportunities you thoughtfully provided, you assholes.

Thanks again for your wonderful product-

.......

-Mr. j2k4