FST's next manker and mulder auditons

[Skweeky]

They're gone now, so we may as well have someone replace them.

If you would like to apply for either position; please enclose a post of approximately 50 words.

[JPaul]

How sweet to be an Idiot,
As harmless as a cloud,
Too small to hide the sun,
Almost poking fun
At the warm but insecure, untidy crowd.
How sweet to be an idiot,
And dip my brain in joy,
Children laughing at my back,
With no fear of attack,
As much retaliation as a toy.

How sweet to be an idiot. How sweet.

I tiptoed down the street,
Smiled at everyone I meet,
But suddently a scream
Smashes through my dream.
Fee fie foe fum.
I smell the blood of an asylum.
(Blood of an asylum. But mother, I play so beautifully. Listen. Ha ha.)
Fie fye foe fum.
I smell the blood of the asylum.
Hey you. You're such a pennant.
You got as much brain as a dead ant,
As much imagination as a carvan sign,

But I still love you. Still love you.
Oooh, how sweet to be an idiot.
How sweet. How sweet. How sweet.

[Skweeky]

Applying for mulder's position eh? He didn't know how to count either :snooty:

[chalice]

I am what I am
I am my own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook
Or the ovation
It's my world
That I want to have a little pride
My world
And it's not a place I have to hide in
Life's not worth a dam
Till I can say
I am what I am

I am what I am
I don't want praise I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise I think it's pretty
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not see things from a different angle
Your life is a shame
Till you can shout out I am what I am


I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am what I am

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am I am I am good
I am I am I am strong
I am I am I am worthy
I am I am I belong

I am

I am

Who whoooo etc.
I am

I am I am I am useful
I am I am I am true
I am I am somebody
I am as good as you

Yes I am

[JPaul]

The lunatic is on the grass.
The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path.

The lunatic is in the hall.
The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more.

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

The lunatic is in my head.
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

"I can't think of anything to say except...
I think it's marvelous! HaHaHa!"

[chalice]

There is no dark side of the moon.

In fact, it's all dark.

[JPaul]

So is your face.

[JPaul]

No seriously, by the same logic it is.

[chalice]

The secret is out.

Say it loud.

I'm black and I'm proud.

[JPaul]

:lol:

[JPaul]

We're back we're bad.

You're black I'm mad.

[CrabGirl]

Can I be Mulder and sexually Harrass EVERYONE

[chalice]

Can I be Mulder and sexually Harrass EVERYONE

Go on then. Why not?

[JPaul]

There's an audition.

[CrabGirl]

Can I be Mulder and sexually Harrass EVERYONE

Go on then. Why not?

Hey hotlips, wanna cyber? :naughty:

[chalice]

I've changed my mind.

I liked you better when you were unobtainable.

:fear:

[JPaul]

She was better aloof.

[JPaul]

You've changed CrabBurd.

[CrabGirl]

I was being mulder you cocks! Jesus, what is it with men today...

[chalice]

Men have always been afraid of sexually aggressive burds.

It unsettles the balance of the universe, like.

Think about the universe, you selfish bee-atch.

[CrabGirl]

Well the universe can fuck off. I am who I am. Sometimes I'm aloof, sometimes I am "sexually agressive", sometimes I'm down right timid. I don't care. If anything I do scares men then they should grow some bloody balls and deal with it.

[chalice]

:fear:

As I say, sexually agressive.

:fear:

[CrabGirl]

sigh... no one accepts me for who I am.

[chalice]

Who are you?

:blink:

[CrabGirl]

I don't really know.

[chalice]

I do.

Just ask me.

[CrabGirl]

Who am I?

[chalice]

You're this incredibly articulate, kind, funny, sexy, nice-footed, self-deprecating, warm, Irish-sympathising, accidentally red-headed, wine expert, wise, great at cooking, horny, Greek-English kinda girl wot I met on the internets.

True story.

Doesn't damage your case that you also know who Loudon Wainwright is.

Win.

[JPaul]

Any chance of an intro, Chavis.

[CrabGirl]

You're this incredibly articulate, kind, funny, sexy, nice-footed, self-deprecating, warm, Irish-sympathising, accidentally red-headed, wine expert, wise, great at cooking, horny, Greek-English kinda girl wot I met on the internets.

True story.

Doesn't damage you case that you also know who Loudon Wainwright is.

Win.


OMFG...You just made me cry.

Fact

Thank you.

[chalice]

Any chance of an intro, Chavis.

Shut up, I'm working here.

[CrabGirl]

Sniff. The internets is a wonderful place with some wonderful people in it... unless you're just trying to groom me!

[chalice]

People is people, Fay.

You'd have to do some grooming plus won to get me.

Though, you fill the criteria to the max.

You rawk. 'Bout time you got that into your head.

[JPaul]

Any chance of an intro, Chavis.

Shut up, I'm working here.

:lol:

[Skweeky]

It's like a more subtle version of mulder... I don't know if it has the same 'cachette' though :snooty:

[thewizeard]

Skweeky, haven't you noticed how smoothly the board has been running since we kidnapped erm.. sent them for a well deserved holiday. You did say kidnap or was it nappies for the kid?

So do we really need two more dummies?

In any case I see no reason why Sainsbury's should receive all the credit for the smooth running of the FST forums, some of the credit should also go to the KLF who are still diligently searching for Ron and Ron's dangerous cucumbers in the BitTorrent forums, they thought they had found some, but they all turned out to be made of meat, green meatballs bah! :ermm:

[Skweeky]

I know, I am making sure that the people who replace manker and mulder are prominent members of the KLF.

Please try and do your best to be more harsh and pervy!

[thewizeard]

I know, I am making sure that the people who replace manker and mulder are prominent members of the KLF.

Please try and do your best to be more harsh and pervy!

..as ever at your service :unsure:

I hate additives so perhaps add some chili to the Ketchup ? ( sacrilege)

[Skweeky]

What exactly will that accomplish? :huh:

[Mr. Mulder]

is it too late to audition for the part of manker? i have the costume and everything :kiss:

http://www.seanbaby.com/personal/album/temp/shirttrade3.jpg

[Snee]

I am what I am
I am my own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook
Or the ovation
It's my world
That I want to have a little pride
My world
And it's not a place I have to hide in
Life's not worth a dam
Till I can say
I am what I am

I am what I am
I don't want praise I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise I think it's pretty
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not see things from a different angle
Your life is a shame
Till you can shout out I am what I am


I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am what I am

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am I am I am good
I am I am I am strong
I am I am I am worthy
I am I am I belong

I am

I am

Who whoooo etc.
I am

I am I am I am useful
I am I am I am true
I am I am somebody
I am as good as you

Yes I am

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!

I'm that funky little monkey with the tiniest ears.
I don't like drinking fancy champy,
I'll stick wit Heineken beers.
Whoops, might burp in ya face,
A little unlady-like,
What can I say?
Well oh gosh I'm not posh, male with odd socks.
I do what I'm doing, yeah!
So everybody's entitled to opinions,
I open my mouth and shit I got millions.
I'm the middle kid, the riddle kid,
I'll make you giggle till your sick
Cause my nose jiggles while I spit.
Yeah I do have some stories
And its true I want all the glory.
Go on then, come on support me,
I'm English, try and deport me!

[Tikibonbon]

Amateurs, the lot of ya's.

[Skweeky]

How come mulder hasn't applied yet? I would have thought he'd be perfect for at least one of the positions.

[Barbarossa]

How come mulder hasn't applied yet? I would have thought he'd be perfect for at least one of the positions.

:eyebrows:


is it too late to audition for the part of manker? i have the costume and everything :kiss:

http://www.seanbaby.com/personal/album/temp/shirttrade3.jpg

:eyebrows:

[Skweeky]

Whoops.

It will require another penis picture. With 'manker' on it this time :D