Hoi Les, Clocker, Kev et al

[JPaul]

HOW TRUE IS THIS!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 50's, 60's and 70's !

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Subway or Nandos. Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because we were always outside playing! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels or SKY, no video/dvd films, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms, we had friends and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears! We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time...

We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Football and rugby had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! Getting into the team was based on merit.

Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and bully's always ruled the playground at school. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla'

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it.

[Skweeky]

Infant death rates in 1948: 36 per 1000 live births
Infact death rates in 2000: 5.6 per 1000 live births

Source: Office of Health and Economics.

Just look at what happened to you lot after eating all that lead based paint :snooty:

[JPaul]

Hoi, Dutch I was born in the sixties not the fucking forties.

[Proper Bo]

ewe liar:lol:
you're at least hunners of years old, like.

[JPaul]

Hoi GeorgeBoy, 1960 was in the sixties, fact.

[Proper Bo]

Hoi GeorgeBoy, 1860 was in the sixties, fact.

fixed.

I suppose that's technically true, like.

[Skweeky]

:lol: :earl:

No ways are you only 48. That makes you only a few years older than my oldest brother and that would be weird. I'm going to keep on pretending you were born in 1949. There.

[JPaul]

:lol: :earl:

No ways are you only 48. That makes you only a few years older than my oldest brother and that would be weird. I'm going to keep on pretending you were born in 1949. There.

I'm 47 bitchez.

You already knew that but.

[Proper Bo]

Ewe are 47 bitchez?:O

That'd explain why ewe have so many accounts on here, like.

[Skweeky]

No I didn't, I thought you were a wee bit older than Les. :unsure:

[JPaul]

Ewe are 47 bitchez?:O

That'd explain why ewe have so many accounts on here, like.

:shifty:

[clocker]

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
My father built a rumble seat into the trunk of his Healey 3000 and I rode around in that.
Thought it was freakin cool.

Water from the garden hose was always hot if you didn't let it run for a while.

[Skweeky]

Tap water is better than bottled water. In Scotland anyway.

[chalice]

Splashing in rivers was top fun.

Polio never did Ian Dury any harm.

[Agrajag]

Splashing in rivers was top fun.

Polio never did The Late Ian Dury any harm.

/Fixed

[Agrajag]

Oh, swapped PCs btw.

Watching both games.

I hate Athletico Madrid.

[j2k4]

HOW TRUE IS THIS!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 50's, 60's and 70's !

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Subway or Nandos. Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because we were always outside playing! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels or SKY, no video/dvd films, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms, we had friends and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

Only girls had pierced ears! We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time...

We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Football and rugby had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! Getting into the team was based on merit.

Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and bully's always ruled the playground at school. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla'

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it.

Which one of you friggin' Brits wrote that.

It's all true, of course - the only thing I never used building a cart was a pram, and I had to twist arms to get people to play rugby 'cuz I thought it looked like fun.

There was certainly more to it, but you've captured the gist of it, I guess. :)

[Biggles]

I was born in the 50s and most of that is true. Climbed trees, fell out of said trees, crashed my bike and had the most amazing black eye - which was way cool (after it stopped hurting like feck). Used dried cow pats as frisbees and sheep poo as catapult pellets. My Dad and I made a bow and a set of arrows from bamboo washed ashore from some cargo ship. Dad weighted the arrow heads with molten lead. The bow was orsum and it could shoot 100 feet straight up in the air (although you had to be careful where the arrow landed obviousment)

However, mortality was higher. I can't recall people in my school with allergies and the like. I assume this was because they were all dead. There were one two fat kids who were known as Fatty (bit harsh looking back on it) and car accidents were usually pretty nasty. Far fewer cars far more deaths on account of cars being fitted with sharp objects on the bonnet, spring loaded spikes in the steering wheel - that sort of thing.

[Skweeky]

Did you have to wear short trousers even in the winter?

[Skweeky]

So Kev, we know JP is 47, Les is nearing 53... How old are you then?

[Biggles]

Did you have to wear short trousers even in the winter?

:ermm: That would have been harsh - the winters were really cold back then.

[Skweeky]

How far did you have to walk to school? How much was the rent for your first flat?

[Biggles]

How far did you have to walk to school? How much was the rent for your first flat?

First school was about half a mile I think. Second one was a couple of miles and I cycled.

No idea - it was back in 1975. £10 I think but shared with a couple of other people. Can't remember if that was a week or a month. Month I think :idunno:

[Skweeky]

Awwww, wee Les on his own. Where was this flat?

[Biggles]

Awwww, wee Les on his own. Where was this flat?

Oban - with two mates. I confess I spent most of 1975 stoned out of my tree. Most of it is a blur :yup:

[Skweeky]

Oban?? What on earth made you go there?

[Biggles]

Oban?? What on earth made you go there?

:unsure: I went to High School there. My folks moved away because my father's job entailed 4 yearish stints at various lighthouses around the country. I went back because I liked it there.

What happened to you in Oban :blink:

[Skweeky]

Nothing. I wasn't aware anything COULD ever happen to anyone in Oban.

So your dad was a lighthouse keeper?

[Biggles]

Nothing. I wasn't aware anything COULD ever happen to anyone in Oban.

So your dad was a lighthouse keeper?

Well they made him give it back when they caught him but yes.

[JPaul]

At 4 I could walk out of my back door, through the garden, over a wee bit of land and pretty much into the school. Not a street crossed, about 100 yards from my door to the school gate. True story. Home for lunch and then back to school.

[Proper Bo]

All this was fields in them days tho'.

[JPaul]

Where I was, yes.

Out the front door was exactly the same, straight into fields without crossing a road.

[Proper Bo]

It's the same at your manor now, ya posh cunt!

[JPaul]

Fair point. It's probly just a throwback to my childhood.

[Skweeky]

There's still only one road in Croy...

So Les, did yous actually live in lighthouses then?

[Biggles]

There's still only one road in Croy...

So Les, did yous actually live in lighthouses then?


Yes - it was quite pleasant really although when I were but a lad at primary school we lived on an island with no electricity. We had a paraffin fridge.

True story!

I'm off to bed - been following the Merkin election and frightening myself with thoughts that the mad lady is but one heart beat away from the Presidency. :fear:

[JPaul]

[QUOTE=Skweeky;3023321]

I'm off to bed - been following the Merkin election and frightening myself with thoughts that the mad lady is but one heart beat away from the Presidency. :fear:

Well not really. By quite a long way.

[Skweeky]

So exotic Les...whatever happened to you? :p

[JPaul]

So exotic Les...whatever happened to you? :p

He ran away from the lighthouse to become an accountant.

http://filthypolitics.com/449px-John_Major_1996.jpg

[j2k4]

So Kev, we know JP is 47, Les is nearing 53... How old are you then?

I thought Les was 51.

I'm 50.

I remember when my family moved from Philadelphia to a wee tiny village adjacent the Les Cheneaux Islands of Lake Huron here in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

We had 640 acres of wild; mixed wood and a large lake.

Driveway was about a half mile long, down a large hill.

Quite a bit of Huck Finn; bamboo fishing poles, making slingshots, catching snakes, etc.

I spent quite a bit of time avoiding severe injury; I was something less than cautious.

Lucky to have survived my childhood, really.

[clocker]

You kids get off my lawn!

[Skweeky]

Catching snakes? That sounds fab!

I grew up in a town 10 miles either way from the two biggest cities in Belgium so I never really had the pleasure of enjoying nature that way.
I guess that's why I love living here now; there's nothing like going up north, especially in the winter :yes:

[gon]

wow

[j2k4]

wow

Three whole letters for your 4th post.

'Tis an economy we cannot afford; more typing, or be gone. :whistling

[Skweeky]

When is Barbie banning that account?

[chalice]

When is Barbie banning that account?

When it does it again, I think.

[Skweeky]

I thought all these useless posts are one and the same disgruntled twatson?

[chalice]

I thought all these useless posts are one and the same disgruntled twatson?

Without a doubt.

I could go back and list all the accounts but that would lend validation to it and I really can't be arsed.

Suffice to say, it's some fucking cawk and it won't be able to help itself and will inevitably end up IP banned.

Cos Barbs kicks the arse when the arse needs the kicking.

[Skweeky]

Yeah, that Barbie is amean cunt sometimes. I heard he eats peanut butter and glass sammiches for breakfast.

[The Flying Cow]

I may not be one huntred years old but I'm told when I was a wee toddler (1, 2 years) and lived in Harare, all sorts of crazy shaite took place. Once I was caught by the gardener "Godfrey", talking to a snake, that I had picked up.

The giraffes and other wildlife came to drink at the stream near our house. And so on...

[chalice]

I may not be one huntred years old but I'm told when I was a wee toddler (1, 2 years) and lived in Harare, all sorts of crazy shaite took place. Once I was caught by the gardener "Godfrey", talking to a snake, that I had picked up.

The giraffes and other wildlife came to drink at the stream near our house. And so on...

Jebus, I don't even know if I want to go there.

Get that Godfrey fucker arrested anon.

You poor child. :no:

[The Flying Cow]

No-can-do: I'm afraid he'll leap oottay his grayve and assault me once moar.

:(

[j2k4]

I may not be one huntred years old but I'm told when I was a wee toddler (1, 2 years) and lived in Harare, all sorts of crazy shaite took place. Once I was caught by the gardener "Godfrey", talking to a snake, that I had picked up.

The giraffes and other wildlife came to drink at the stream near our house. And so on...

Jebus, I don't even know if I want to go there.

Get that Godfrey fucker arrested anon.

You poor child. :no:


No-can-do: I'm afraid he'll leap oottay his grayve and assault me once moar.

:(

Did he show yew his snake or whot. :whistling

[clocker]

Did he show yew his snake or whot. :whistling
How cute, Kev has picked up a Brit accent just like Madonna.

[Skweeky]

It's part of his presidential campaign :yes:

[Something Else]

Did he show yew his snake or whot. :whistling
How cute, Kev has picked up a Scot Brit accent just like Maradona.

/fixed :01:

[Skweeky]

We don't say 'yew', we say 'ya'

[j2k4]

Don't you have hillbillies over there.

I have one of them lives down the street, came from your little island, swears he came down from the hills.

Goes by Nigel - do yew no 'im.

[Skweeky]

Maybe Nigel knows him, them having the same name and that.

Also, we call hillbillies 'chavs' or 'neds' :yes:

[chalice]

Maybe Nigel knows him, them having the same name and that.

Also, we call hillbillies 'chavs' or 'neds' :yes:

We call 'chavs' 'spides'. True story.

I'd much rather be a chav than a spide. Trust me.

[Something Else]

We call chavs Kevs, or at least we used to. True story.

[Skweeky]

At least you'd get to wear Burberry eh?

[j2k4]

Maybe Nigel knows him, them having the same name and that.

Also, we call hillbillies 'chavs' or 'neds' :yes:



Maybe Nigel knows him, them having the same name and that.

Also, we call hillbillies 'chavs' or 'neds' :yes:

We call 'chavs' 'spides'. True story.

I'd much rather be a chav than a spide. Trust me.

He might have used one of your colloquialisms, but I would assume he was formulating his commentary for me, as his reference occurred during a conversation we were having.

He calls me Kev, though I would attribute that to his relatively heightened civility.

A good spud, old Nigel.

[chalice]

My middle name is Kevin.

True story.

Comes from my grandfather. The name Kevin used to be the butt of myriad jokes in the eighties in the UK.

Now, my actual forename is the butt. How's that for fucking irony? :dabs:

[JPaul]

My middle name is Kevin.

True story.

Comes from my grandfather. The name Kevin used to be the butt of myriad jokes in the eighties in the UK.

Now, my actual forename is the butt. How's that for fucking irony? :dabs:

Kevin Butt is a really stupid name to be fair.

[JPaul]

Oh sorry, forename

[JPaul]

Butt Kevin Chalice.

[JPaul]

Not a lot better really.

[chalice]

My middle name is Kevin.

True story.

Comes from my grandfather. The name Kevin used to be the butt of myriad jokes in the eighties in the UK.

Now, my actual forename is the butt. How's that for fucking irony? :dabs:

Kevin Butt is a really stupid name to be fair.

Butt Kevin, shirley.

You didn't think it through and I'm so glad. :smilie4:

[JPaul]

See above, butt.

[chalice]

Your poor fingers must've been a blur.

Ha!

[JPaul]

Are you calling me a wanker.

[JPaul]

Not disagreeing like.

[JPaul]

Just asking.

[chalice]

Um..yeah...probably.

[j2k4]

My middle name is Kevin.

True story.

Comes from my grandfather. The name Kevin used to be the butt of myriad jokes in the eighties in the UK.

Now, my actual forename is the butt. How's that for fucking irony? :dabs:


My middle name is Kevin.

True story.

Comes from my grandfather. The name Kevin used to be the butt of myriad jokes in the eighties in the UK.

Now, my actual forename is the butt. How's that for fucking irony? :dabs:

Anyone else? :dabs:

[chalice]

No, Kev, my middle name actually is Kevin.

Why do you always assume I'm lying?

I dare say you already know my forename. Such timidity from an established friend.

For shame. I'm hurt.

[Skweeky]

I still don't know :snooty:

[JPaul]

He told you, hurt.

[Skweeky]

That's not a real name :snooty:

[JPaul]

http://gagathemovies.com/cast/John%20Hurt.jpg

[j2k4]

No, Kev, my middle name actually is Kevin.

Why do you always assume I'm lying?

I dare say you already know my forename. Such timidity from an established friend.

For shame. I'm hurt.

I have never assumed, nor have I entertained the idea of you lying.

You dare say?

Good, then; that's what I would do, anyway.

However, if you're Hurt into the bargain, that must be your middle name?


I still don't know :snooty:

How about "Bentley"?

Bent, for short. :whistling

[chalice]

http://gagathemovies.com/cast/John%20Hurt.jpg

Noice. One of my favourite actors too. :happy:

He travels to a reputable alcoholic rehab centre run by nuns near me on a regular basis. True story. I've entertained the thought of hovering around outside in the hope of getting an autograph but my fear of nuns overcomes my love of John Hurt.

[The Flying Cow]

He's a poof innhe?

[chalice]

He's about as queer as you are stupid.

So you decide.

[The Flying Cow]

The food not taste nice tonight?

:/

[chalice]

Haven't eaten yet so I'm dining on spastics until I get me spicy wedges with tuna and mayonnaise. Might even go crazy and throw in some sweetcorn.

:01:

[JPaul]

He's a poof innhe?

Yeah, he played Quentin Crisp on TV ergo he must be a homosexual.

[enoughfakefiles]

Haven't eaten yet so I'm dining on spastics until I get me spicy wedges with tuna and mayonnaise. Might even go crazy and throw in some sweetcorn.

:01:

Sweetcorn would be crazy :wacko:

[chalice]

He's a poof innhe?

Yeah, he played Quentin Crisp on TV ergo he must be a homosexual.

Yep, he played Caligula in I Claudius so he also had sex with his sister, got her pregnant, cut out the foetus and ate it.

Which kinda proves he's not gay. :blink:

[JPaul]

Yeah, he played Quentin Crisp on TV ergo he must be a homosexual.

Yep, he played Caligula in I Claudius so he also had sex with his sister, got her pregnant, cut out the foetus and ate it.

Which kinda proves he's not gay. :blink:

Yeah but he may have dabbled. Didn't he make his horse a senator as well or was that Nero.

[chalice]

Yep, it was Caligula. And he was sexually tame compared to his uncle Tiberius.

Still made a better statesman than Bush.

Cross-fred references ftw.

[JPaul]

:lol::earl:

So the incestuous dictator with a penchant for bestiality and infanticide, to say nothing of cannibalism was a worse leader than Caligula.

[chalice]

:lol::earl:

So the incestuous dictator with a penchant for bestiality and infanticide, to say nothing of cannibalism was a worse leader than Caligula.

:lol:

In a nut shell, nuts. :smilie4:

[The Flying Cow]

I cannot stress enough how good a combination a bottle or two of good beer and Goran Bregović is.

[Biggles]

So exotic Les...whatever happened to you? :p

He ran away from the lighthouse to become an accountant.

http://filthypolitics.com/449px-John_Major_1996.jpg

Cut to the quick

:cry: