Dealing With Telemarketers

[Virtualbody1234]

I read a small note in a magazine about this.

Did you ever notice that when a telemarketer calls there is a delay after you answer? A few seconds of blank pause before the telemarketer greets you? Now you can use this to your advantage. Try this out the next time you hear the pause. Don't say anything keep quiet just listen. (You will be able to notice the background noises of the busy call center. You will also hear the telemarketer saying "hello... hello......HELLO..HELLO!! ARGH!" and then they hang up. :lol: :lol:

It's the tone of their voice and frustration that's absolutely hilarious. :lol:

I have tried this quite a few times now and I love it. Try it out.

[3rd gen noob]

i just ask for their home phone numbers
then they say they can't give them out
i ask why, don't you want an annoying person phoning you at home?

:rolleyes:

[vegasguy]

Hi,

I say "Lesbian plumbing, this is Cookie speaking"

It gets them confused everytime,

[TheMusicMan]

We just say: "Hello this is -namehere-" then they hang up since they don't speak english (we moved to spain before some years)

Funny thing is that a lot of "Learning Centers" call (at least once per day) and try to sell "english classes" while they don't understand anyhing we say lol - and such people try tomake money with "learn english" hehe

[Tikibonbon]

am i the only one who has tried to have phone sex with them?

[Formula1]

lol well im always on the internet so i barely get telemarketer calls , but good strategy Virtualbody1234 :lol:

[j4y3m]

dont get them.....do you get them in the uk?

[Sparkle1984]

Originally posted by stupidguy@7 October 2003 - 22:42
dont get them.....do you get them in the uk?
Yes we do get them a lot.

Try signing up for the Telephone Preference Service, (search for it on google), and you can register for free and they should not call you anymore. ;)

[james_bond_rulez]

this is how i deal with them:

once i make sure it's telemarketer calling i said to them

you know i'll have to put u on hold for a sec i got something on the stove, be right back

let them hang about 10 mins, the more time you can hang them the less victims they can reach.

:P

[lynx]

Here's a similar method.

Tell them your wife/husband always deals with this, and you'll get her/him to come to the phone. Then, every few minutes you can tell them that she/he is "just coming". Keeps them on the line for ages.

[Lamsey]

Sometimes you can have great fun with these people.

One of my friends from archery once was phoned by a company which sold conservatories.

She replied that she'd be quite happy to have a conservatory, but there might be a small problem with getting planning permission.

The person on the other end of the phone assured her that their company would sort out any legal problems, all incuded in the price.

She then remarked that it might be quite difficult to actually build a conservatory out the back of her house, but the marketer again cut in smoothly, assuring her that their highly qualified and professional architects would sort that out with ease.


So, fair enough, she thought. And proceeded to spend half an hour discussing her new conservatory with this guy before telling him that she lived in a 2nd floor flat.


-click-

[noname12]

Funny... I've never got any telemarketers calling me... didnt think they existed in the UK

[bigboab]

Originally posted by Tikibonbon@7 October 2003 - 22:27
am i the only one who has tried to have phone sex with them?
[QUOTE]

Phone sex with a double glazing firm? Is that not pane ful. :P :P :P

[Virtualbody1234]

Originally posted by bigboab+7 October 2003 - 18:18--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bigboab &#064; 7 October 2003 - 18:18)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin-Tikibonbon@7 October 2003 - 22:27
am i the only one who has tried to have phone sex with them?


Phone sex with a double glazing firm? Is that not pane ful. :P :P :P[/b][/quote]
[QUOTE]

I have a question for you, bigboab. Why do you always leave an open quote tag like this one in red?

[bigboab]

It does not show up in the preview.

Edit. The only thing i can think of is that I press Return after the initial Quote. ry it and I will let you know.

[nikita69]

I simply say one of these and works everytime (whenever i want to have some fun with them :lol: ): (in a deep tone) "Thank you for calling Sin Gen Hospital for the Mentally Challagned employees, may I help you?" :lol:
(in a deep serious tone) "Thank you for calling the Ministry of Interior-Section 5, may I help you?" :lol:
(in a sexy female voice) "Hello and thank you for calling 900-bald-chicks, are you naked yet?" :lol:
(just before they answer) Start playing the RIAA Screetchy file (looped) :lol:

[LeGoMyFnLeg]

In the US and maybe in canada, you only have to add a "disconnect tone" to any answering machine and the automated dialers will not get through. I have setup my PC to screen all calls and when I pickup, the tone is played before I or they can speak.
There is a webpage about this somewhere, with downloadable tones and messages. The disconnect tone is used for out of service numbers normally and was designed by the phone companies to avoid having their services tied up by these autodialing telemarketers. ;)

It&#39;s just three short ascending tones and they are gone :)

[Keikan]

My mom hates talking to telemartkets so i just go "ok please wait a second" leave the phone on the bed and well let it sit

[masta.z]

the best i&#39;ve heard was one my dad told me, at his old work the receptionist answered the phone and it was a telemarketer trying to advertise something or other, the receptionist started helping one of the other staff members fix a problem in the office, leaving the telelmarketer advertising their product to no-one, she then returned to the phone and said "sorry what were you saying? i lost interest after hi" ... the telemarketer promptly hung-up :D

[DarthInsinuate]

my mum got called by them, she just put the phone down and walked off, made some tea, she came back 20 minutes later and realised she didn&#39;t hang up, she picked up the receiver and the woman on the other end was still going

[Spindulik]

Actually those "3 tone" devices that are sold on TV work. The tele-marketer makes a call and whenever they hear the standard 3-tone "out of service" sound, your number is canceld from their list.

A simple handheld tape player will do the trick too. The only problem is, EVERYONE who calls you will have to deal with that 3-tone sound until you are confident that you are completely erased from the tele-marketer&#39;s system.

[Snee]

Originally posted by bigboab@8 October 2003 - 00:46
It does not show up in the preview.

Edit. The only thing i can think of is that I press Return after the initial Quote. ry it and I will let you know.
bigboab, do you use the quote function, if so there is no need for the quote button when you compose your post.

Unless you copy and paste into the message window the quote tags are redundant.

[ZLOsiris]

ahhh i do have gr8 fun with these people ... theres alot calling about magizine subscriptions and newspapers .... i start asking them if they got any porn or naked women ...then i start telling them i masterbate alot and like looking a women ... ask them if there any underwhere ads and so forth ..... man u can have gr8 fun with these people use ur imagination .... i wish i woulda recorded some of my conversations. Funny thing alot them will answer these ? o man i cant contain myself jus thinking bout it ... i hope 1 calls soon

[Snee]

Originally posted by (Aardwark.com)
One thing that has always bugged me, and I&#39;m sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me.
The call was from AT&T and it went something like this:

Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: YES&#33; This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
Me: OK, hold on. At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
Me: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
Me: May I ask who is calling please?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?
Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
Me: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren&#39;t selling phones today Mr. Byron.
Me: Well whatever it is, I&#39;m really not interested but thanks for calling. When you are not interested in something, I don&#39;t think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I&#39;m really not interested", but this lady was persistent.
AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.
Me: Now, that&#39;s 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir that&#39;s right&#33; 24 hours a day&#33;
Me: 7 days a week?
AT&T: That&#39;s right.
Me: 365 days a year?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I am definitely interested in that&#33; Wow&#33;&#33;&#33; That&#39;s amazing&#33;
AT&T: We think so&#33;
Me: That&#39;s quite a sum of money&#33;
AT&T: Yes sir, it&#39;s amazing how it adds up.
Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full &#036;52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance? AT&T: Excuse me?
Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
Me: You said you&#39;d give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to &#036;144 per day, &#036;1008 per week and &#036;52,560 per year. I&#39;m just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T: Oh no sir I didn&#39;t mean we&#39;d be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
Me: Wait a minute here&#33;&#33;&#33; Didn&#39;t you say you&#39;d give me 10 cents a minute. Are you sure this is AT&T?
AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you&#39;ll give me 10 cents a minute that I&#39;ll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I&#39;ve read about things like this in the Enquirer you know. Don&#39;t use your alien brainwashing techniques on me. AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for..... Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN&#33; Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir I don&#39;t think that is necessary.
Me: Sure&#33; You say that now&#33; What happens later?
AT&T: What?
Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor&#33;
AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on. So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I&#39;m waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food:
Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
Me: Yeah? Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is. I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.
Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
Supervisor: Ok, no problem, I&#39;ll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
Me: Thank you. I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?
Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I&#39;m an only child and I&#39;d really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: (click)

Source (http://members.rogers.com/aardvark-jokes/misc.htm)

[hooked]

you can also just listen to them, maybe they have something intersting to tell.














































:blink: :P

[Spindulik]

You should call them back and sell them something or just ask for a donation, anything. Whatever answer they give you, will be the answer you give them, the next time they call you.


Telemarketer:
"I&#39;m sorry, this is a business and we do not accept phone solicitation"

You:
"I&#39;m sorry, this is a private residence and we do not accept phone solicitation"

[noname12]

:lol: :lol: :lol: @ snny

[LeGoMyFnLeg]

just a quick search for "disconnect tone" turned up this download link and page.

http://privatecitizen.com/sit-tone.wav (save as)

http://privatecitizen.com/sit.html

[ZLOsiris]

that is soooo funny sny ...but thats what iam talking about i look forward to those calls jus to have fun with them and the more persistant they the more the fun .... give me more i tell u lmao

[nikita69]

go to sofware download site, search for PC answering system or alike, find the best one, look for it on P2P and dl. set it up the google for sound bites and answering machine response. there are tons of those on the net. :lol:

[ZLOsiris]

answering machine ????? why ruin the fun

[Benno]

i never get any calls from Telemarketers B)

[Spindulik]

Some of the funniest REAL phone calls are here. (http://www.blackout.com/cranks.htm)