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JPaul
10-23-2009, 08:37 PM
My grandfather lost his tongue during the second World war.

We could never get him to talk about it.
Skweeky
10-23-2009, 08:39 PM
:cringe:
JPaul
10-23-2009, 09:03 PM
Hoi, that's a quality pish joke.
Skweeky
10-23-2009, 09:08 PM
No argument there.
brotherdoobie
10-24-2009, 07:36 AM
What did Nixon say after Watergate?

Dam!


-doobs
chalice
10-24-2009, 08:51 AM
Why did the viper viper nose?

Cos the adder adder handkerchief.
chalice
10-24-2009, 09:00 AM
The above should've read didn't instead of did. Fuck sake, I can't even get a pish joke right. I'll try again, shall I?

What do elves do after school?

Gnomework.
enoughfakefiles
10-24-2009, 12:58 PM
Why can't penguins fly?

Because the can't afford the tickets.

Why polar bears eat penguins.

Because they can't get the wrappers off.
benchez' mum
10-24-2009, 01:04 PM
Where does Sadaam Hussein keep his CDs?

In a-raq.



Why did Hitler killhimself?

He got the gas bill.
JPaul
10-24-2009, 01:14 PM
My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.
{I}{K}{E}
10-24-2009, 10:35 PM
A man walks up to the bartender and says, "Y'see that cup over there? I'll bet $100 that I can piss in it from here!" The bartender readily agrees, because the shot glass is way over on the other side of the bar. So the man unzips and whips it out, then pisses in a million different directions, coming nowhere even close to the shot glass. Meanwhile the bartender's laughing so hard he can barely breathe.

"Pay up," gasps the bartender, so the man walks over and grabs $400 from a third guy playing pool. The bartender asks, "Why did that guy give you the money?"

And the first guy says, "'Cause I bet him $400 I could piss all over your bar and you'd just laugh about it!"
Alien5
10-24-2009, 11:01 PM
A bear and a rabbit were having a shit in the woods. The bear says to the rabbit "Don't you hate it when shit gets stuck to your fir?", and the rabbit replies "No, not really." So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his bum with it.
Something Else
10-28-2009, 01:02 PM
What's pink and hard?

A Pig with a flick-kinfe.
Barbarossa
10-28-2009, 02:00 PM
What's pink and hard?

The Financial Times crossword.
Andyvalver
10-28-2009, 07:04 PM
Where does Sadaam Hussein keep his CDs?

In a-raq.



Why did Hitler killhimself?

He got the gas bill.

Lol. :-)
100%
10-28-2009, 09:31 PM
What is invisible and smells like rabbit?


bunny farts


did i do it right, pishing wise?