My Extremely Small Penis

[clocker]

I'm not certain how the information leaked out, but, judging by my incoming mail box, the entire internet is aware that I have an extremely small penis.

Fortunately for me, there are many kind people who would be willing to help me out.

These selfless souls seem to be divided into two camps regarding the best method of rectifying my condition.
The first group advocates herbal remedies/supplements, and I must admit that this is attractive...all I have to do is take pills for a few weeks and then I can join the rest of the men of the world in having a donkey sized member.
The second group is more mechanically inclined- primarily vacuum devices. As I am sort of a klutz I fear that I may make an error and end up as a tripod by mistake. The advantage, of course, is that this method is faster.

As many of you know, I recently found the love of my life- anna!annamiller!- and I am loathe to disappoint her when at last the moment of truth arrives. So this is VERY important to me.

I seek therefore, advice from all the huge-penised men ( who are apparently the norm) as how best to achieve parity.

Please don't let anna!annamiller! down.

[djweiser]

:huh: well that was cleva...u just practically broadcasted it ova the internet :P

just live wid it, who cares :)

[djweiser]

Originally posted by netweiser-@17 October 2003 - 16:33
:huh: well that was cleva...u just practically broadcasted it ova the internet :P

just live wid it, who cares :)
o btw, if your love of ya life, reallly cares abt u. she wudnt care! ;)

[*´¯`·.¸¸.»Çô©ö»]

Originally posted by clocker@17 October 2003 - 16:28
I'm not certain how the information leaked out, but, judging by my incoming mail box, the entire internet is aware that I have an extremely small penis.

Fortunately for me, there are many kind people who would be willing to help me out.

These selfless souls seem to be divided into two camps regarding the best method of rectifying my condition.
The first group advocates herbal remedies/supplements, and I must admit that this is attractive...all I have to do is take pills for a few weeks and then I can join the rest of the men of the world in having a donkey sized member.
The second group is more mechanically inclined- primarily vacuum devices. As I am sort of a klutz I fear that I may make an error and end up as a tripod by mistake. The advantage, of course, is that this method is faster.

As many of you know, I recently found the love of my life- anna!annamiller!- and I am loathe to disappoint her when at last the moment of truth arrives. So this is VERY important to me.

I seek therefore, advice from all the huge-penised men ( who are apparently the norm) as how best to achieve parity.

Please don't let anna!annamiller! down.
roflmao...... wow i have the same problem, today alone i had 7 "get big quick and be normal" emails, i'm depressed :(

[Mr. Mulder]

Have you tried a convincing Strap-on :huh:

[Billy_Dean]

Don't be sad Clocker, you know what they say, "It's not what you've got, it's what you do with it that counts."

Unfortunately, in your case, this doesn't apply, size does count, sorry!


:)

[clocker]

Netweiser, you just don't understand.

Apparently there is a rival for the affections of the dear anna!annamiller! and I am assuming that he is endowed in a normal ( 12-14 " range) way.
All of these kind solicitations have promised to help me achieve this normal state within a matter of days, at very little cost.

Why not do everything in my power to make anna!annamiller! happy?

[Mr. Mulder]

Have you tried a convincing Strap-on :huh:

Also, its good to see im not the only one who gets enlargement emails, where do they keep coming from, how did they find out :huh:

[Billy_Dean]

Originally posted by __eric__@18 October 2003 - 01:50

Have you tried a convincing Strap-on :huh:

Also, its good to see im not the only one who gets enlargement emails, where do they keep coming from, how did they find out :huh:
Your girlfriend must have told them.


:)

[clocker]

Originally posted by __eric__@17 October 2003 - 09:50


Also, its good to see im not the only one who gets enlargement emails, where do they keep coming from, how did they find out :huh:
I have my theories, but they are irrelevant for the purposes of this discussion.

So Eric, as we share the same affliction, what method do you recommend?

Now that your shortcomings have been brought to your attention certainly you are going to rectify the situation?

I'm leaning towards the Vacuum Pump method....I have a new Craftsman Shop Vac that I think might work just fine...

[Will_518]

just wondering do women ever get enlargement pill e-mails?? Or does the media actually KNOW their target audience?!

[lynx]

Did you here about the guy who went to the doctor because of his terrible lisp? His life was a misery because of it. The doctor examined him, and announced that the problem was his enormous penis. When asked if there was a solution, the doctor told him that surgery to remove the excess flesh was the only course. The man decided to go ahead with the operation, and afterwards he could talk perfectly. He was overjoyed. However, a few days later, he came back to the doctor and said that he was now unable to satisfy his wife, and he wanted the procedure reversed. "Get lotht" said the doctor.

The moral is that while you may be able to satisfy your beloved Anna Miller, you will never be able to convince her of the fact. Sadly, I fear your efforts are doomed.

[bigboab]

Dare I suggest reducing the size of the rest of your body. Thereby making your equipment appear larger. <_<

[lynx]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 17:04
Dare I suggest reducing the size of the rest of your body. Thereby making your equipment appear larger. <_<
That&#39;s all very well coming from you, what about the rest of us with normal size boab&#39;s?

[Mr. Mulder]

I have my theories, but they are irrelevant for the purposes of this discussion.

So Eric, as we share the same affliction, what method do you recommend?

Now that your shortcomings have been brought to your attention certainly you are going to rectify the situation?

I&#39;m leaning towards the Vacuum Pump method....I have a new Craftsman Shop Vac that I think might work just fine...

Theirs no need for those kind of desperate measures, Clocker. Just plenty of exercise with porn.

[clocker]

Lynx, that was NOT what I wanted to hear.

anna&#33;annamiller&#33; is not some flighty bimbo, always in search of the latest thrill.

Her posts clearly show her to be a grounded, sensible and worldly woman.

It&#39;s the "worldly" part that has me concerned.

I don&#39;t want to become freakishly huge ( 36-40") or anything, just normal, as I am certain you are. You know, 12-18".

anna&#33;annamiller&#33; deserves that much, at least.

[bigboab]

Originally posted by lynx+17 October 2003 - 17:07--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (lynx @ 17 October 2003 - 17:07)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-bigboab@17 October 2003 - 17:04
Dare I suggest reducing the size of the rest of your body. Thereby making your equipment appear larger. <_<
That&#39;s all very well coming from you, what about the rest of us with normal size boab&#39;s? [/b][/quote]
Well if you or your friends are going to reject my suggestions out of hand. May I suggest you cut of your legs at the knees. At least that way your penis will be a lot nearer the ground. :lol:

[djweiser]

can i just say? u must be really sad 2 worry abt that, im sure your gf wont mind&#33;

if she does...she needs 2 get a life.

[clocker]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 10:12
May I suggest you cut of your legs at the knees. At least that way your penis will be a lot nearer the ground. :lol:
BB,

Being nearer the ground is a good thing?
I did not know that, but then again, having such a small penis has stunted my life in many ways.

I assumed that, being mobile, anna&#33;annamiller&#33; and I could achieve some sort of mutually satisfying position that didn&#39;t involve spanning large distances.

I guess I have more to learn than I thought. :o

[lynx]

Originally posted by bigboab+17 October 2003 - 17:12--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bigboab @ 17 October 2003 - 17:12)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Well if you or your friends are going to reject my suggestions out of hand. May I suggest you cut of your legs at the knees. At least that way your penis will be a lot nearer the ground. :lol: [/b]
<!--QuoteBegin-__eric__
Theirs no need for those kind of desperate measures, Clocker. Just plenty of exercise with porn. [/quote]
I&#39;m getting confused now.

__eric__ seems to be suggesting taking the matter IN hand, bigboab thinks we are rejecting him OUT of hand.

OFF hand, I think you should make your own mind up.

[ZaZu]

"snip"

[bigboab]

Clocker I do not mean this in a derogatory way. But did you know that Anna Miller is famous for fossils. Maybe she found out that you were not old enough and went to pastures old. :(

[clocker]

Originally posted by lynx@17 October 2003 - 10:18

I&#39;m getting confused now.

__eric__ seems to be suggesting taking the matter IN hand, bigboab thinks we are rejecting him OUT of hand.

OFF hand, I think you should make your own mind up.
Lynx,
You can afford to fritter away precious time with clever wordplay because I assume that you have a normal sized penis.
This is a matter of desperate import to me and I would thank you to treat it with the seriousness that it deserves.

This is not to be treated frivolously, people.
My future is at stake here.

[Mr. Mulder]

Clocker, could you not perhaps make up for the inadequacy in another area of the physical act ;)

[cowswithguns]

Sorry for being frivolous but thank you guys for giving me a huge laugh...........

Boys and their toys........ ;)

[bigboab]

Originally posted by cowswithguns@17 October 2003 - 17:32
Sorry for being frivolous but thank you guys for giving me a huge laugh...........

Boys and their toys........ ;)
Dont you mean boys with your toys? :rolleyes:

[cowswithguns]

Originally posted by bigboab+18 October 2003 - 03:34--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bigboab @ 18 October 2003 - 03:34)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-cowswithguns@17 October 2003 - 17:32
Sorry for being frivolous but thank you guys for giving me a huge laugh...........

Boys and their toys........ ;)
Dont you mean boys with your toys? :rolleyes: [/b][/quote]
And great toys they are too&#33;

[clocker]

Originally posted by __eric__@17 October 2003 - 10:32
Clocker, could you not perhaps make up for the inadequacy in another area of the physical act ;)
Well of course I plan on satisfying anna&#33;annamiller&#33; in the most current and modern ways.
I have sent away for a instructional video from Dr. Phil with just that in mind.

I simply wish to level the playing field as it were, and not start out in the hole.



Christ, talk about a fluffball...

[oldmancan]

Clocker,

Good to see you taking matters into your own hands. How much IT matters is up to you and Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33;

Your a "big" man to admit a shortcoming and then actively seek a way to compensate. Don&#39;t worry about what the uninformed bystanders think. They don&#39;t know your bittersweet anguish. Oh, Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33; she has sorely wounded the might Clocker.

Another option might be some kinda slip on prosthetic. Not much good for you I&#39;m sure, but if the whole point is to satisfy Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33; then I&#39;m sure that&#39;s good enogh for you.

Don&#39;t forget that as you pointed out she has displayed her incredible sensibility in her posts. Perhaps you worry for naught, she may be more sensible than worldly.

ps That shop-vac don&#39;t forget to remove the macerator attachment, should yo go that route.

edit -ps

[Billy_Dean]

I think we need some clarification here. A "normal" penis, like mine, is rarely more than 10 inches long. Mine couldn&#39;t possibly reach 14 inches unless I had a hard-on.

I hope this clears things up Clocker.


:)

[Lilmiss]

my penis fell off years ago. http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Lynne1977uk/bawling.gif

why do men talk about the size of their man hood?
us girls dont sit around talking about the size of our bits. :P
i suggest you stop <span style='color:purple'>smoking for a while, the paranoia has obviously set in. :D </span>

[soopaman]

Are you feeling alright Lilmiss?? Telling someone to stop smoking - you must be having a bit of a turn. :lol:

Hope you&#39;re okay though. ;)

[clocker]

Originally posted by Billy_Dean@17 October 2003 - 10:43
I think we need some clarification here. A "normal" penis, like mine, is rarely more than 10 inches long. Mine couldn&#39;t possibly reach 14 inches unless I had a hard-on.

I hope this clears things up Clocker.


:)
Ah, another member of the "Small Penis Brigade".

You see BD, I too labored under the same misconception as you.

Fortunately I started reading my e-mail and learned ( just in time, I hope) that the average sized member is 14-20" long ( at rest, as it were) and of course significantly larger when aroused.

This accounts for many things, the snickering in the locker room, the refusal to bed me twice, etc.

I thought I was a victem of a personality flaw, but thanks to these kindly solicitors, I now realize that my physical deformity can be easily fixed.

So can yours. ;)

[bigboab]

Originally posted by clocker+17 October 2003 - 17:41--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (clocker @ 17 October 2003 - 17:41)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-__eric__@17 October 2003 - 10:32
Clocker, could you not perhaps make up for the inadequacy in another area of the physical act ;)
Well of course I plan on satisfying anna&#33;annamiller&#33; in the most current and modern ways.
I have sent away for a instructional video from Dr. Phil with just that in mind.

I simply wish to level the playing field as it were, and not start out in the hole.



Christ, talk about a fluffball... [/b][/quote]
Not Dr Phil McCracken surely. :rolleyes:

[Lilmiss]

my penis fell off years ago. http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Lynne1977uk/bawling.gif

why do men talk about the size of their man hood?
us girls dont sit around talking about the size of our bits. :P
i suggest you stop <span style='color:purple'>smoking for a while, the paranoia has obviously set in. :D </span>

[Snee]

Originally posted by lilmiss@17 October 2003 - 18:54
my penis fell off years ago. http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Lynne1977uk/bawling.gif

why do men talk about the size of their man hood?
us girls dont sit around talking about the size of our bits. :P
i suggest you stop <span style='color:purple'>smoking for a while, the paranoia has obviously set in. :D </span>
Oh, no she&#39;s repeating herself, you people must have shocked her. :o

[clocker]

Originally posted by oldmancan@17 October 2003 - 10:41
Clocker,

Good to see you taking matters into your own hands. How much IT matters is up to you and Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33;

Your a "big" man to admit a shortcoming and then actively seek a way to compensate. Don&#39;t worry about what the uninformed bystanders think. They don&#39;t know your bittersweet anguish. Oh, Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33; she has sorely wounded the might Clocker.

Another option might be some kinda slip on prosthetic. Not much good for you I&#39;m sure, but if the whole point is to satisfy Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33; then I&#39;m sure that&#39;s good enogh for you.

Don&#39;t forget that as you pointed out she has displayed her incredible sensibility in her posts. Perhaps you worry for naught, she may be more sensible than worldly.

ps That shop-vac don&#39;t forget to remove the macerator attachment, should yo go that route.

edit -ps
Thank you OMC.

Now you see people? This is exactly the kind of sensible and constructive advice I was hoping to recieve.
The slip on prosthetic is my fallback option should the Vacuum Enlargement method inexplicably fail.
As I enjoy wood carving, I was thinking of whittling a replica of a donkey dong out of some suitable wood. This would have many advantages, although, as you have already noted, my satisfaction would be more mental than otherwise.

It is a sacrifuce I would make gladly for anna&#33;annamiller&#33;.

[Lilmiss]

bum&#33; :huh:

i did it again??&#33;&#33;&#33;
(im sure its the puters fault. :rolleyes: )

soopaman, you know thats just crazy talk right? :D

[bigboab]

Originally posted by clocker+17 October 2003 - 18:01--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (clocker @ 17 October 2003 - 18:01)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-oldmancan@17 October 2003 - 10:41
Clocker,

Good to see you taking matters into your own hands.&nbsp; How much IT matters is up to you and Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33;

Your a "big" man to admit a shortcoming and then actively seek a way to compensate.&nbsp; Don&#39;t worry about what the uninformed bystanders think.&nbsp; They don&#39;t know your bittersweet anguish.&nbsp; Oh, Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33; she has sorely wounded the might Clocker.

Another option might be some kinda slip on prosthetic.&nbsp; Not much good for you I&#39;m sure, but if the whole point is to satisfy Anna&#33; Annamiller&#33;&#33; then I&#39;m sure that&#39;s good enogh for you.

Don&#39;t forget that as you pointed out she has displayed her incredible sensibility in her posts.&nbsp; Perhaps you worry for naught, she may be more sensible than worldly.

ps That shop-vac don&#39;t forget to remove the macerator attachment, should yo go that route.

edit -ps
Thank you OMC.

Now you see people? This is exactly the kind of sensible and constructive advice I was hoping to recieve.
The slip on prosthetic is my fallback option should the Vacuum Enlargement method inexplicably fail.
As I enjoy wood carving, I was thinking of whittling a replica of a donkey dong out of some suitable wood. This would have many advantages, although, as you have already noted, my satisfaction would be more mental than otherwise.

It is a sacrifuce I would make gladly for anna&#33;annamiller&#33;. [/b][/quote]
Make sure you whittle it out of Anne Teak wood.

[j2k4]

Originally posted by clocker@17 October 2003 - 11:50
I am assuming that he is endowed in a normal ( 12-14 " range) way.

Damn.

What a disappointment to find I am normal. :(

[j2k4]

Originally posted by clocker@17 October 2003 - 12:09
just normal, as I am certain you are. You know, 12-18".


WHA?&#33;&#33;?&#33;

I&#39;m falling short on the high-end, now&#33; :huh:

[j2k4]

Clocker-

Might I suggest, in addition to any successful methodologies you find, that you importune Anna&#33;Annamiller to consider having her hands made smaller?

Your penis will appear larger thus. :)

[kurtsl0an]

Originally posted by j2k4@17 October 2003 - 18:19
Clocker-

Might I suggest, in addition to any successful methodologies you find, that you importune Anna&#33;Annamiller to consider having her hands made smaller?

Your penis will appear larger thus. :)
wouldn&#39;t she then have a huge (or small as it were) disappointment when they consimated their luv?

[Billy_Dean]

Maybe Anna&#33;Annamiller could have a false bottom inserted, you could then "appear" to fit.


:)

[j2k4]

Originally posted by kurtsl0an+17 October 2003 - 13:26--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (kurtsl0an @ 17 October 2003 - 13:26)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-j2k4@17 October 2003 - 18:19
Clocker-

Might I suggest, in addition to any successful methodologies you find, that you importune Anna&#33;Annamiller to consider having her hands made smaller?

Your penis will appear larger thus. :)
wouldn&#39;t she then have a huge (or small as it were) disappointment when they consimated their luv? [/b][/quote]
They (not me) say, "Image is everything".

We live in a visual world.

So much depends on Anna&#33;Annamiller.

[clocker]

Originally posted by Billy_Dean@17 October 2003 - 11:28
Maybe Anna&#33;Annamiller could have a false bottom inserted, you could then "appear" to fit.


:)
Would this not have the effect of perhaps implying that anna&#33;annamiller&#33; was somehow less than perfect?

I take responsibility for my deficiency and would not ask my beloved to inconvenience herself because of it.

Quote:Bigboab

Make sure you whittle it out of Anne Teak wood.
I was considering ebony. Too provocative perhaps?

[kurtsl0an]

Originally posted by clocker@17 October 2003 - 19:04
I was considering ebony. Too provocative perhaps?
i would say, not cool. :)

[Mr. Mulder]

If it was to be used in dark lighting, would it really matter?

[Billy_Dean]

Ebony has a tendency to remain cool, not a good preserver of heat, she may notice, maybe if you coated it with Tiger Balm.


:)

[clocker]

Enough of the &#39;prothesis" digression...as I said, that will be a fallback option.

I have decided on a dual approach to my problem- I shall combine the slower but healthier vitamin method with the faster, but infinitely riskier "vacuum" enlargement.

I shall need to clean my shop vac...
http://home.earthlink.net/~kvaughn65/shop_vac.jpg

[bigboab]

This all seems to be a one sided affair. Why not ask Anna to reduce her large breasts and let you in closer. :lol:

[clocker]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 12:34
This all seems to be a one sided affair. Why not ask Anna to reduce her large breasts and let you in closer. :lol:
You make sport of anna&#33;?
She is a young woman and I&#39;m certain that her proportions are commeasurate with her age.
Meanwhile....the rest of my enlargement equipment has arrived ( bless ACME Products&#33;) and it looks up to the task...
http://www.mpi-hd.mpg.de/galileo/laboratory/mpik-dust-accelerator-laboratory.jpg

[bigboab]

Good job you got it at the development stage. :lol: :lol:

[clocker]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 12:49
Good job you got it at the development stage. :lol: :lol:
Clearly this is not equipment for the novice.

The bill of sale made vague references to "Beta Stage" and "Proof of Concept"- I&#39;m not really too sure what that means, but I&#39;m certain that the owners of the Internet would not allow faulty products to be sold over their network. ;)

[bigboab]

I could not use it then if it is for the no vice. B)

[nostalgia]

You&#39;ve only got one, so isn&#39;t the last method (the enormous device) a little (sorry for that word) drastic???

[clocker]

Nostalgia&#33;

Can you confirm my (near) sighting of the new anna&#33;annamiller&#33; up in the Questions section?

I got there a bit too late and just missed her...

[Guillaume]

That&#39;s Anna_child you&#39;re talking about?

Yep, saw her too... All hope isn&#39;t lost then&#33; http://www.mcbriens.net/liam/img/smilies/thumbsup.gif

[nostalgia]

Yes clocker I hereby confirm it. I must say, as I saw the name I instantly thought of you and your love for her. She returns when she wants to, she&#39;s even k-lite user now, she&#39;s sharing her folder so maybe there a little sharing for you in it as well.
Hope is never lost&#33;

[clocker]

I hope to have Lamsey shout out to her in his show...

She will be listening I&#39;m sure.

[nostalgia]

She will, clocker and maybe her eyes will be opened (nothing else we first have to help you with your desire to be a moderate person ;) )

[bigboab]

Just as a matter of interest Clocker where did you get your Scottish brogue that you woo Anna with. According to your time difference you must be in the east coast of the USA/Canada. <_<

[clocker]

Well, for some reason my message to anna&#33; did not make Lamsey&#39;s announcement period.

I suspect that he is after her also.

He probably has a HUGE member.

[clocker]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 14:09
Just as a matter of interest Clocker where did you get your Scottish brogue that you woo Anna with. According to your time difference you must be in the east coast of the USA/Canada. <_<
I come from an isolated group of expatriots who became stranded in Colorado.

We invented skiing.

[bigboab]

Whis skiing? :lol: :lol: :lol:

[nostalgia]

Originally posted by clocker@17 October 2003 - 21:09
I suspect that he is after her also.

He probably has a HUGE member.
This could be the case as the topic of anna&#33; annamiller was closed and yet no confirmation which mod it was. Although at the time the topic was closed the only mods available were Jetje and..... Lamsey&#33;
His huge member is problably showing him the way.

[nostalgia]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 21:15
Whis skiing? :lol: :lol: :lol:
they should make that Olympic&#33; :lol:

[bigboab]

Clocker have you told Anna that your are regularly on the piste? :o

[clocker]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 14:23
Clocker have you told Anna that your are regularly on the piste? :o
Sadly, our face to face communication has been...ah, well, erm...ok, it&#39;s been nonexistant since the first night.

Our paths have truly been starcrossed.

[bigboab]

Now you have appealed to her on the radio Clocker do you think she will respond?

[Snee]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 22:29
Now you have appealed to her on the radio Clocker do you think she will respond?
Did he really, and I missed it :angry: :lol:

Hello bigboab, nice to have you back&#33;

[clocker]

I believe that she has already made tentative forays into the forum disguised as Anna_child.

She is searching for me, I am certain of it.

I need just a wee bit more time for the device to do it&#39;s thing....

[bigboab]

Hi Snny, great to be back(song there somewhere :D ). Yes clocker has finally made his international airways appeal to his girl/boyfriend. :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Snee]

Originally posted by clocker@17 October 2003 - 22:35
I believe that she has already made tentative forays into the forum disguised as Anna_child.

She is searching for me, I am certain of it.

I need just a wee bit more time for the device to do it&#39;s thing....
A love-affair of epic proportions, no doubt. It ought to be pinned and thus preserved for coming generations, so that we all may bask in the radiant glory of this wondrous event. :D

@bigboab: I trust your exile has treated you well? No more burnt cakes, or what it was?

[DanB]

probably won&#39;t stay here long but its worth it

http://www.sighost.us/members/danb/oops&#33;.jpg


:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

This is a grown man btw

[clocker]

I can only dream of attaining such massive proportions&#33;

Why, I could transport anna&#33;annamiller&#33; to paradise and beyond....

[bigboab]

Originally posted by SnnY+17 October 2003 - 21:47--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SnnY @ 17 October 2003 - 21:47)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-clocker@17 October 2003 - 22:35
I believe that she has already made tentative forays into the forum disguised as Anna_child.

She is searching for me, I am certain of it.

I need just a wee bit more time for the device to do it&#39;s thing....
A love-affair of epic proportions, no doubt. It ought to be pinned and thus preserved for coming generations, so that we all may bask in the radiant glory of this wondrous event. :D

@bigboab: I trust your exile has treated you well? No more burnt cakes, or what it was? [/b][/quote]
Yes Snny and I would like to thank all the members for their support. It has enabled me to get about with a lot less pain. :lol: :lol: :lol:

I have relegated cooking to the other half. she is more expert at burning than I am. :D

[Snee]

Probably wise. :D

And you&#39;ll handle the IT needs of the household, of course :D

[bigboab]

Originally posted by SnnY@17 October 2003 - 22:13
Probably wise. :D

And you&#39;ll handle the IT needs of the household, of course :D
Yes I have to e-mail to her sister in the USA once or twice a week. She thinks that this takes hours and requires sitting at the computer till the early hours. :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Spindulik]

All of this e-mail that I get&#33; I have so many people concerned about about me. I think they really care about me. Take a quick look.

I have e-mail that:
- promises to improve "my size"
- Help me out of debt.
- Instant winners
- Free cable with special box
- copy DVDs cheap
- free ink
- Lower my insurance rate
- meet my perfect mate
- lose weight
- refinance
- free credit report
- Re: Singles in your area
- Thank you, for registering...
- Important update
- Find your classmates
- claim your prize

And the list of great and amazing e-mail goes on. Too big to list here. I feel so important and reassured that there is always someone there to help me out, take care of me, give me prizes or even date me.

[clocker]

Gee Spin, you don&#39;t even get some of the best ones...

Unbeknownst to me, I apparently am famous for the massive amounts of prescription drugs that I ingest. Ten or so offers to help me get these drugs cheaper...BTW anna&#33; this is not true...Just Say No is my watchword....

And let&#39;s not forget my favorite...Sonya from KazaaGold.
I promise anna&#33; it was just a fling...she meant nothing to me...it never even crossed my mind to enlarge my member for HER...

[Snee]

Originally posted by bigboab+17 October 2003 - 23:17--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bigboab &#064; 17 October 2003 - 23:17)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-SnnY@17 October 2003 - 22:13
Probably wise. :D

And you&#39;ll handle the IT needs of the household, of course :D
Yes I have to e-mail to her sister in the USA once or twice a week. She thinks that this takes hours and requires sitting at the computer till the early hours. :lol: :lol: :lol: [/b][/quote]
I assume that&#39;s what you tell her? :lol:

EDit: spellin&#39;, gettin&#39; tired

[uNz[i]]

Wow... this topic has already run to 6 pages?

It must be a pretty meaty subject that a lot of people can chew over, huh? :D
</crap joke>

Weirdest spam I ever got (btw) offered to make me a fully ordained priest for the low low price of &#036;39.95, including a certificate of authenticity&#33;

[clocker]

Originally posted by Justsomeguy@17 October 2003 - 16:16


Weirdest spam I ever got (btw) offered to make me a fully ordained priest for the low low price of &#036;39.95, including a certificate of authenticity&#33;
Did that involve vitamin therapy or a vacuum device?

[bigboab]

Did you take up the offer Justsome? If so you could marry Clocker to his beloved Anna when they finally get together.

You will have to wait though. Probably about 20 years till Anna is old enough to marry. By that time it will be normal practice to marry a man to a he/she. Unless they Thai the knot somewhere else. :lol: :lol: :lol:

[uNz[i]]

@ Clocker: Vitamin therapy and vacuum devices are a perk of the job aren&#39;t they? ;)

@bigboab: Nah.. the deal was only for residents of Oklahoma.
I&#39;m not even in the right hemisphere, let alone the right state.

[hobbes]

Originally posted by danb@17 October 2003 - 22:54
probably won&#39;t stay here long but its worth it

http://www.sighost.us/members/danb/oops&#33;.jpg


:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

This is a grown man btw
Don&#39;t be so silly. You will confuse the young ladies.

Ladies, that vertical slit (see pointing finger) is actually a slit in which you insert a standard (not phillips) screwdriver. You simply loosen and remove this screw and the penis falls out for hours of slippery fun.

Just don&#39;t misplace the screw in your excitement, as it needs to be replaced at the end of sex. If you lose it, the man will become impotent because the penis will rust if it is exposed to air for too long.

Sex mystery 234- put to rest.


PS- Clocker, they found out that I have erection problem in addition to a teenie peenie.

[bigboab]

Hobbes, I noticed that man was not wearing a shirt. Is it anyone we know? :P

[clocker]

Originally posted by bigboab@17 October 2003 - 16:25
Did you take up the offer Justsome? If so you could marry Clocker to his beloved Anna when they finally get together.

You will have to wait though. Probably about 20 years till Anna is old enough to marry. By that time it will be normal practice to marry a man to a he/she. Unless they Thai the knot somewhere else. :lol:&nbsp; :lol:&nbsp; :lol:
I am really getting discouraged by this neverending cynicism.

I thought that it was manifestly obvious that anna&#33;annamiller&#33; was a blushing young woman- NOT a "he/she".
I mean C&#39;MON WAKE UP&#33; this is the internet&#33;

There are RULES&#33;
It&#39;s NOT ALLOWED to misrepresent one&#39;s age or sex or anything, really.

And IT&#39;S NOT VERY NICE either&#33;

Now see... you&#39;ve driven me to capitals....

[hobbes]

Originally posted by bigboab@18 October 2003 - 00:40
Hobbes, I noticed that man was not wearing a shirt. Is it anyone we know? :P
I actually heard he has the phillip head variant, but good spot, anyway.
http://www.indiana.edu/~compendo/w220/images/screwdriver-phillips.jpghttp://settingthescene.com/ushop/images/screwdriver.jpg

[bigboab]

Dont shout Clocker. You might wake her up. :lol:

[bigboab]

I am going to bed. I am getting depressed at the torment that this boy has had to go through today. :(























Clocker has had a hard time too. :lol: :lol: :lol:

[clocker]

Originally posted by hobbes+17 October 2003 - 16:46--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (hobbes @ 17 October 2003 - 16:46)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-bigboab@18 October 2003 - 00:40
Hobbes, I noticed that man was not wearing a shirt. Is it anyone we know? :P
I actually heard he has the phillip head variant, but good spot, anyway.
http://www.indiana.edu/~compendo/w220/images/screwdriver-phillips.jpghttp://settingthescene.com/ushop/images/screwdriver.jpg [/b][/quote]
Christsakes, hobbes.
By highlighting the nuts and bolts of sex you make it seem so tawdry...

[MUSLEMAN]

Originally posted by clocker@17 October 2003 - 12:28
I&#39;m not certain how the information leaked out, but, judging by my incoming mail box, the entire internet is aware that I have an extremely small penis.

Fortunately for me, there are many kind people who would be willing to help me out.

These selfless souls seem to be divided into two camps regarding the best method of rectifying my condition.
The first group advocates herbal remedies/supplements, and I must admit that this is attractive...all I have to do is take pills for a few weeks and then I can join the rest of the men of the world in having a donkey sized member.
The second group is more mechanically inclined- primarily vacuum devices. As I am sort of a klutz I fear that I may make an error and end up as a tripod by mistake. The advantage, of course, is that this method is faster.

As many of you know, I recently found the love of my life- anna&#33;annamiller&#33;- and I am loathe to disappoint her when at last the moment of truth arrives. So this is VERY important to me.

I seek therefore, advice from all the huge-penised men ( who are apparently the norm) as how best to achieve parity.

Please don&#39;t let anna&#33;annamiller&#33; down.
omfg you too, how the hell did they find out, damn it must have been that one b**** that i broke up with few years back damn her :angry: :lol: :lol: http://www.klboard.ath.cx/html/emoticons/crying.gifhttp://www.klboard.ath.cx/html/emoticons/beerchug.gifhttp://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/u/bandit.gif

[clocker]

BillyDean tells me that it is the Mossad.
They have surveilled every public restroom in the world.

They are VERY good.

[MUSLEMAN]

Originally posted by clocker@17 October 2003 - 22:14
BillyDean tells me that it is the Mossad.
They have surveilled every public restroom in the world.

They are VERY good.
lol well then (note to self don&#39;t use public bathrooms anymore) http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/3/nono.gifhttp://www.klboard.ath.cx/html/emoticons/beerchug.gif