View Full Version : Poetic Lounge Challenge
Since my poetic efforts are so widely "appreciated" here........., i could do with
some help.
Rules: Duh.....
Let's try to do it in AA-BB-A
Clouds gathering in loungy spheres,
..................................................
Please????
:rolleyes: Yogi
Skweeky
10-27-2003, 11:41 PM
Everywhere shines the sun, but here :(
Spider_dude
10-27-2003, 11:44 PM
i'd rather be in belgium drinking beer ;)
Clouds gathering in loungy spheres,
Everywhere shines the sun, but here 's
An example of the first three lines,
i'd rather be in belgium drinking beers,
and forget my hidden fears,
.....................................................
Skweeky
10-27-2003, 11:50 PM
and wander of in timeless times
(AA BAAB then?)
Originally posted by SensualGardening@28 October 2003 - 00:46
Clouds gathering in loungy spheres,
Everywhere shines the sun, but here 's
An example of the first three lines,
i'd rather be in belgium drinking beers,
and forget my hidden fears,
and wander off in timeless times
just the sound of crockets and chimes
.....................................................
(AA BAAB then?) Sure! Whatever makes us happy!!
JONNO_CELEBS
10-27-2003, 11:53 PM
But flying low to pay for my crimes :)
Jonno B)
Originally posted by SensualGardening@28 October 2003 - 00:46
Clouds gathering in loungy spheres,
Everywhere shines the sun, but here 's
An example of the first three lines,
i'd rather be in belgium drinking beers,
and forget my hidden fears,
A and wander off in timeless times
A just the sound of crockets and chimes
A But flying low to pay for my crimes(You?? Jonno?????.....)
B ..............................................
A .............................................
Spider_dude
10-27-2003, 11:57 PM
singing timeless rhymes
of the past i left behind
JONNO_CELEBS
10-27-2003, 11:59 PM
Like rage filled thoughs in a saddend mind :)
@SG.......Whaaaaat?? :unsure:
Jonno B)
Skweeky
10-28-2003, 12:00 AM
Still I find no peace in my soul
And maybe that's better, on the whole
Clouds gathering in loungy spheres,
Everywhere shines the sun, but here 's
An example of the first three lines,
i'd rather be in belgium drinking beers,
and forget my hidden fears,
A and wander off in timeless times
A just the sound of crockets and chimes
A But flying low to pay for my crimes
B on the times i leave behind
A .I'm singing timeless rhymes
A All my sins have already been fined
B Still, I find no peace in my soul
A Like rage filled thoughs in a saddend mind
B Still ,no peace, no soul
C And maybe for the better, on the whole
I'd sell tomorrow, to be with you, just to chase you,
A tip-toed, lightly footed dandelion thief,
We would just roll our eyes and think of things to fool them,
I'm sure we would talk forever.
...........................................
So you finish this one, zkwieki??
This is going to be epic!!!!
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 12:09 AM
sorry me fik, whats the A B C thing??? :ph34r:
@SG.......Nah.....Never got caught........I mean never done that :D
Jonno B)
mrcall1969
10-28-2003, 12:11 AM
I'd sell tomorrow, to be with you, just to chase you,
A tip-toed, lightly footed dandelion thief,
We would just roll our eyes and think of things to fool them,
I'm sure we would talk forever.
;)
Skweeky
10-28-2003, 12:13 AM
Jonno, the ABC thing is called a rhyme scheme
every letter represents a rhyme sound
e.g fined/behind A
crime/time B
spheres/beers C
BUT mind/fined A
get the idea?
Originally posted by Skweeky@28 October 2003 - 01:13
Jonno, the ABC thing is called a rhyme scheme
every letter represents a rhyme sound
e.g fined/behind A
crime/time B
spheres/beers C
BUT mind/fined A
get the idea?
Thanks, Squeek!!
Originally posted by mrcall1969@28 October 2003 - 01:11
I'd sell tomorrow, to be with you, just to chase you,
A tip-toed, lightly footed dandelion thief,
We would just roll our eyes and think of things to fool them,
I'm sure we would talk forever.
;)
One line each, please.........
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 12:24 AM
:blink: erm Yeah :) TY, ok I'll let someone else go cos I don't know how to follow
:)
Jonno B)
Skweeky
10-28-2003, 12:27 AM
Originally posted by SensualGardening+28 October 2003 - 01:24--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (SensualGardening @ 28 October 2003 - 01:24)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-mrcall1969@28 October 2003 - 01:11
I'd sell tomorrow, to be with you, just to chase you,
A tip-toed, lightly footed dandelion thief,
We would just roll our eyes and think of things to fool them,
I'm sure we would talk forever.
;)
One line each, please......... [/b][/quote]
but he wrote that for me, so it's allowed :D
anyway:
Can we stay in this moment forever?
Is time our enemy once again?
Clouds gathering in loungy spheres,
Everywhere shines the sun, but here 's
An example of the first three lines,
i'd rather be in belgium drinking beers,
and forget my hidden fears,
A and wander off in timeless times
A just the sound of crockets and chimes
A But flying low to pay for my crimes
B on the times i leave behind
A .I'm singing timeless rhymes
A All my sins have already been fined
B Still, I find no peace in my soul
A Like rage filled thoughs in a saddend mind
B Still ,no peace, no soul
C And maybe for the better, on the whole
I'd sell tomorrow, to be with you, just to chase you,
A tip-toed, lightly footed dandelion thief,
We would just roll our eyes and think of things to fool them,
I'm sure we would talk forever.
Can we stay in this moment forever?
Is time our enemy once again?
Let's call that poetic freedom.........
I'm off to bed now.....
really hope to find some poetic mess in the morning........
Nighty!!
-_-
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 12:36 AM
As love lost long deals so much pain
Is that ok???? :ph34r:
Jonno B)
Skweeky
10-28-2003, 12:37 AM
it's allowed to use two words to make it 'rhyme', it's called identical rhyme and was quite popular at the beginning of this century...at least, it was in Dutch poetry :)
yup, jonno, that's perfect
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 12:43 AM
Originally posted by Skweeky@28 October 2003 - 00:37
yup, jonno, that's perfect
Really?? :) ........I would'nt know about this cos I cheated at poetry thanks to AC/DC :D
Ok, continue and I'll see if I can get this :)
Jonno B)
mrcall1969
10-28-2003, 12:45 AM
It's never to easy for me to find the way that I feel
I pray to god that you'll say that you'll stay with me
For something so divine, so natural spinning in this wheel
If you can say that you love me then tell me, set me free
Skweeky, hope you're collating this :D
Skweeky
10-28-2003, 12:45 AM
Clouds gathering in loungy spheres,
Everywhere shines the sun, but here 's
An example of the first three lines,
i'd rather be in belgium drinking beers,
and forget my hidden fears,
and wander off in timeless times
just the sound of crockets and chimes
But flying low to pay for my crimes
on the times i leave behind
I'm singing timeless rhymes
All my sins have already been fined
Still, I find no peace in my soul
Like rage filled thoughs in a saddend mind
Still ,no peace, no soul
And maybe for the better, on the whole
I'd sell tomorrow, to be with you, just to chase you,
A tip-toed, lightly footed dandelion thief,
We would just roll our eyes and think of things to fool them,
I'm sure we would talk forever.
Can we stay in this moment forever?
Is time our enemy once again?
As love lost long deals so much pain
Continue...I don't know if it's clever
It's never to easy for me to find the way that I feel
I pray to god that you'll say that you'll stay with me
For something so divine, so natural spinning in this wheel
If you can say that you love me then tell me, set me free
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 12:50 AM
As two heart melt to one :wub:
Is that right???
Jonno B)
Skweeky
10-28-2003, 12:53 AM
Originally posted by JONNO_CELEBS@28 October 2003 - 01:50
As two heart melt to one :wub:
Is that right???
Jonno B)
a strophe, can exist out of two, three or four lines, after that you start a new one, and you can choose whatever sound you like, so yes, yours is correct
possible rhyme schemes ( conventional)
AABB ABBA ABAB
As two hearts melt to one
Sets a new dawn
(no you can choose sth that rhymes with one or dawn, doesn't matter)
mrcall1969
10-28-2003, 01:01 AM
Take me now, take my hand, take my heart
Take me to OUR room, to our special place
You know I'll be there if I can, if we can
It might not be much, but it's somewhere we can start.
I don't like all this conformist, rules poetry stuff :P
sparsely
10-28-2003, 01:43 AM
Sometimes I see auroras from the corners of my eyes
it's kinda nice but I think I might be blind.
That does it, you can't echo that enough
it falls flat before it's ever heard, expecting way too much.
I'll just go and hope that everyone is kind...
and stay inside until the moon begins to rise.
Clouds gathering in loungy spheres,
Everywhere shines the sun, but here 's
An example of the first three lines,
i'd rather be in belgium drinking beers,
and forget my hidden fears,
and wander off in timeless times
just the sound of crockets and chimes
But flying low to pay for my crimes
on the times i leave behind
I'm singing timeless rhymes
All my sins have already been fined
Still, I find no peace in my soul
Like rage filled thoughs in a saddend mind
Still ,no peace, no soul
And maybe for the better, on the whole
I'd sell tomorrow, to be with you, just to chase you,
A tip-toed, lightly footed dandelion thief,
We would just roll our eyes and think of things to fool them,
I'm sure we would talk forever.
Can we stay in this moment forever?
Is time our enemy once again?
As love lost long deals so much pain
Continue...I don't know if it's clever
It's never to easy for me to find the way that I feel
I pray to god that you'll say that you'll stay with me
For something so divine, so natural spinning in this wheel
If you can say that you love me then tell me, set me free
Sometimes I see auroras from the corners of my eyes
it's kinda nice but I think I might be blind.
That does it, you can't echo that enough
it falls flat before it's ever heard, expecting way too much.
I'll just go and hope that everyone is kind...
and stay inside until the moon begins to rise.
Take me now, take my hand, take my heart
Take me to OUR room, to our special place
You know I'll be there if I can, if we can
It might not be much, but it's somewhere we can start.
Huh?? :blink:
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 12:02 PM
Well My bit was good :lol: :lol: :lol:
Here's my gcse English Poetry entry which got me a B+
Somewhere a clock strikes midnight
And there's a full moon in the sky
You hear a dog bark in the distance
You hear someone's baby cry
A rat runs down the alley
And a chill runs down your spine
Someone walks across your grave
And you wish the sun would shine
No one's gonna warn you
And no one's gonna yell 'Attack'
And you don't feel the steel
Till it's hanging out your back
I'm your Night Prowler, asleep in the day
I'm your Night Prowler, get out of my way
Look out for the Night Prowler, watch you tonight
I'm the Night Prowler, when you turn out the light ...
Too scared to turn your light out
'Cos there's something on your mind
Was that a noise outside your window?
What's that shadow on the blind?
As you lie there naked
Like a body in a tomb
Suspended animation
As I slip into your room
I'm your Night Prowler, break down your door
I'm your Night Prowler, crawling 'cross your floor
I'm your Night Prowler, make a mess of you, yes I will
Night Prowler, and I am telling this to you
There ain't nothing you can do
(Shazbot... Nanu-Nanu)
:D
Jonno B)
Jonno.....
You never cease to amaze me!!!!
How much beer did you need to write that..........
Maybe Lamsey can make that into a nice song............
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:P Yogi
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 12:10 PM
Originally posted by SensualGardening@28 October 2003 - 12:07
Jonno.....
You never cease to amaze me!!!!
How much beer did you need to write that..........
Maybe Lamsey can make that into a nice song............
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:P Yogi
Oh I used to be artistic before I started drinking heavily :lol: :lol:
You like it then, took me quite a while to write, but I kinda thought it was spooky :ph34r:
Jonno B)
Oh I used to be artistic before I started drinking heavily
That's funny.
We mirror.
I used to drink heavily before i started to get artistic.........
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 01:46 PM
It's weird tho.......I used to be able to paint and dance and sing.............now the only thing I paint is woodwork, the only way I dance is with 2 left feet and singing..............well...........the less said the better :lol: :lol:
Jonno B)
Lilmiss
10-28-2003, 01:47 PM
Originally posted by JONNO_CELEBS@28 October 2003 - 12:10
You like it then, took me quite a while to write
hmmmmm....... :blink: ;)
Evil Gemini
10-28-2003, 01:54 PM
I just thought of this poem
Im reloading my gun
To start shooting again
Im going to have some fun
Because im going to shoot my freind
He will begg me to stop
Or he will call a cop
I will just laugh at his face
Because im a mental case
He really pissed me off
My dear old freind
He will now get shot
BANG
THE END!
JONNO_CELEBS
10-28-2003, 01:58 PM
http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Cjcooljonno/cry2.gif I was gonna post a poem a very special freind wrote for mehttp://hometown.aol.co.uk/Cjcooljonno/cry2.gif
But I can't find ithttp://hometown.aol.co.uk/Cjcooljonno/cry2.gif I've lost it, I had a notepad, a pm and a screenshothttp://hometown.aol.co.uk/Cjcooljonno/cry2.gif But it's gonehttp://hometown.aol.co.uk/Cjcooljonno/cry2.gif
Jonnohttp://hometown.aol.co.uk/Cjcooljonno/cry2.gif
Lilmiss
10-28-2003, 02:03 PM
doofus. :D
(see ya laters!)
Lilmiss
10-28-2003, 02:05 PM
doofus. :D
(see ya laters!)
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