Need a man's viewpoint

[Squeamous]

A friend of mine has recently found herself dating again, and wants to know.... what is most likely to put a man off: allowing him to put his finger up her bum on the first date, or joking that she's been busy burying the corpse of her ex? Only she's done both and suddenly the texts have dried up......or maybe his phone is broken? :yup:
This is in the strictest confidence btw.....

[callum]

The bum fun on the first date was a mistake. Now all he has to look forward to is getting buried in her garden.

[snap3r]

Met a nurse last year in another city who was recently divorced.She was 28 and looking good.We first talked on the phone and she seemed ok then meet ... then soon after we had sex ... all was ok she seemed like a nice girl with her head in the right place.Ofc i got back to my place and after that all got crazy.She was acting desperate said she want to come to my place meet my parents and some other stuff that basically would ruin my life.So i got scared and deleted her from my life dot Now im extra careful about the girls i meet.
Doing those two things and acting like she was acting raised flags for the guy.If his phone broke it was on purpose.

[mjmacky]

A friend of mine has recently found herself dating again, and wants to know.... what is most likely to put a man off: allowing him to put his finger up her bum on the first date, or joking that she's been busy burying the corpse of her ex? Only she's done both and suddenly the texts have dried up......or maybe his phone is broken? :yup:
This is in the strictest confidence btw.....

That would depend on how swampy it was

[Squeamous]

The bum fun on the first date was a mistake. Now all he has to look forward to is getting buried in her garden.

:smilie4:

[Squeamous]

Met a nurse last year in another city who was recently divorced.She was 28 and looking good.We first talked on the phone and she seemed ok then meet ... then soon after we had sex ... all was ok she seemed like a nice girl with her head in the right place.Ofc i got back to my place and after that all got crazy.She was acting desperate said she want to come to my place meet my parents and some other stuff that basically would ruin my life.So i got scared and deleted her from my life dot Now im extra careful about the girls i meet.
Doing those two things and acting like she was acting raised flags for the guy.If his phone broke it was on purpose.

Fake number and a cheap motel?

[Proper Bo]

The bum fun on the first date was a mistake. Now all he has to look forward to is getting buried in her garden.

Or an even filthier second date:smilie4:

[Squeamous]

The bum fun on the first date was a mistake. Now all he has to look forward to is getting buried in her garden.

Or an even filthier second date:smilie4:

:lol:

[Proper Bo]

It'd get a second date from me, like.:smilie4:

Wouldn't want a relationship with a burd who let you do that on the first night tho'.

[megabyteme]

You have dirty, dirty friends, Squeamous. :wub:

[snap3r]

Fake number and a cheap motel?

Nah the girl had her own apartment and sadly she had my real number cuz well she was a nurse and she had access to my file :pinch: ( went there for a routine checkup )

[Squeamous]

Oh my God, that is a real abuse of position, you poor thing!! I wouldn't use a number unless someone gave it to me in person. She should really have known better :hug:

[megabyteme]

you could be her child squeamous

J-dye, Squeamous asked for a man's opinion- not just someone who had been fingered in the ass. :no:

[Squeamous]

I cannot tell a lie, I am that 'friend'. Although I took artistic licence with the truth a little for comedy purposes.
It was his cock not his finger.
No, no, I'm still joking, srsly!!
Or am I? :shifty:

[Frankthetank1]

It just it all depends on what the finger smelled like afterwards...

[snap3r]

I cannot tell a lie, I am that 'friend'. Although I took artistic licence with the truth a little for comedy purposes.
It was his cock not his finger.
No, no, I'm still joking, srsly!!
Or am I? :shifty:
That makes more sense on why she never heard of from the guy :yes:
Or maybe she will again when the guys pop-sickle wants some action.

[callum]

I cannot tell a lie, I am that 'friend'. Although I took artistic licence with the truth a little for comedy purposes.
It was his cock not his finger.
No, no, I'm still joking, srsly!!
Or am I? :shifty:

It's impossible to tell, you did once say your other half collected lord of the rings figures or something like that, so it was really just a matter of time before you left him. But you do seem a bit geeky as well, so you might be into that sort of thing.

[Quarterquack]

Leaving him and killing him are two different things. Maybe she was asked to dress up as gollum for cosplay?

[callum]

Leaving him and killing him are two different things. Maybe she was asked to dress up as gollum for cosplay?

Nah, it can't be that, that would just be dressing in a loin cloth and the make up of a goth. He probably asked her to put on a beard and carry an axe and things got out of hand.

I've gone all geeky now, glad I didn't say anything about her just having shaved her feet, so frodo wasn't an option.

[megabyteme]

A British girl who does anal- what's not to love? You don't even have to look at the bad teeth while doing her... :P

[Something Else]

A friend of mine has recently found herself dating again, and wants to know.... what is most likely to put a man off: allowing him to put his finger up her bum on the first date, or joking that she's been busy burying the corpse of her ex? Only she's done both and suddenly the texts have dried up......or maybe his phone is broken? :yup:
This is in the strictest confidence btw.....

If the finger had been the other way around, would your texts have dried up.

[Proper Bo]

A friend of mine has recently found herself dating again, and wants to know.... what is most likely to put a man off: allowing him to put his finger up her bum on the first date, or joking that she's been busy burying the corpse of her ex? Only she's done both and suddenly the texts have dried up......or maybe his phone is broken? :yup:
This is in the strictest confidence btw.....

If the finger had been the other way around, would your texts have dried up.

what, knuckle first?:blink:

[Squeamous]

It's impossible to tell, you did once say your other half collected lord of the rings figures or something like that, so it was really just a matter of time before you left him. But you do seem a bit geeky as well, so you might be into that sort of thing.

I was just about to protest but then I saw my scale model of the USS Enterprise out of the corner of my eye and decided against it :dry:



If the finger had been the other way around, would your texts have dried up.

Of course not. That's the difference between men and women though. A woman will think 'yeah he really enjoyed himself, I am a sex Goddess...YEAH!' a man will think 'she probably enjoys herself like that with EVERYONE', and that will dent his fragile ego.

[zot]

It's been my experience that online "females" with a proclivity to broach the subject of sodomy often turn out to be homosexual males. :sick:

[Squeamous]

:shifty:

[j2k4]

A friend of mine has recently found herself dating again, and wants to know.... what is most likely to put a man off: allowing him to put his finger up her bum on the first date, or joking that she's been busy burying the corpse of her ex? Only she's done both and suddenly the texts have dried up......or maybe his phone is broken? :yup:
This is in the strictest confidence btw.....

Maybe he used one of his texting thumbs on you, then fell in love to the extent he desires the thumb to remain forever unsullied by soap and water...but doesn't want to bugger-up his phone?

Perhaps you could text him to stretch a prophylactic device over his phone so as to text safely.

[Something Else]

I was just about to protest but then I saw my scale model of the USS Enterprise out of the corner of my eye and decided against it :dry:



If the finger had been the other way around, would your texts have dried up.

Of course not. That's the difference between men and women though. A woman will think 'yeah he really enjoyed himself, I am a sex Goddess...YEAH!' a man will think 'she probably enjoys herself like that with EVERYONE', and that will dent his fragile ego.

You've turned me in to Someone Else. :eyebrows:

[Squeamous]

Maybe he used one of his texting thumbs on you, then fell in love to the extent he desires the thumb to remain forever unsullied by soap and water...but doesn't want to bugger-up his phone?

Perhaps you could text him to stretch a prophylactic device over his phone so as to text safely.

Don't be silly, if I text him he'll think I'm obsessed with his phone, possibly wanting babies or marriage with it, which I totally don't! Not right away anyway.

[Squeamous]

You've turned me in to Someone Else. :eyebrows:

Oops, sorry! x

[PeculiarSatyr]

Some guys might be turned off by the burying X statement...I don't really see any big issues with the finger up the bum though.

[Mr. Mulder]

i met this burd in a wetherspoons once up north, told her to come down south for a dirty weekend. she got through the front door, put her bags down and started undressing right away in my hallway. got her in the bedroom and started fucking her from behind and she said to slip a finger up her bumhole, i of course did. this was all very well except it was at the hight of swine flu in the uk and i had gotten it the day before (unknowingly). so i was there on my knees banging away whilst having one finger inside her rectum thinking i don't really want to be doing this and was starting to flop out, then i stopped, lept out of her and ran to the bathroom and threw up. i saw her one other time after that.


hope this helps.

[Something Else]

You've turned me in to Someone Else. :eyebrows:

Oops, sorry! x

:lol: :pinch:

It's nice to see your posts again. Young lady. Are you still a scientist, or is my memory inventing the fact that you ever were.

[Something Else]

i met this burd in a wetherspoons once up north, told her to come down south for a dirty weekend. she got through the front door, put her bags down and started undressing right away in my hallway. got her in the bedroom and started fucking her from behind and she said to slip a finger up her bumhole, i of course did. this was all very well except it was at the hight of swine flu in the uk and i had gotten it the day before (unknowingly). so i was there on my knees banging away whilst having one finger inside her rectum thinking i don't really want to be doing this and was starting to flop out, then i stopped, lept out of her and ran to the bathroom and threw up. i saw her one other time after that.


hope this helps.


I dread to think what you did the second time to put her off. If she was cool with what happened the first time, it must have been worse. Logic dictates that.

[Squeamous]

:lol: :pinch:

It's nice to see your posts again. Young lady. Are you still a scientist, or is my memory inventing the fact that you ever were.

I've let you be you this time....but don't get too used to it x
Yes, still a scientist - can't imagine ever being anything else :smilie4:

[Squeamous]

i met this burd in a wetherspoons once up north, told her to come down south for a dirty weekend. she got through the front door, put her bags down and started undressing right away in my hallway. got her in the bedroom and started fucking her from behind and she said to slip a finger up her bumhole, i of course did. this was all very well except it was at the hight of swine flu in the uk and i had gotten it the day before (unknowingly). so i was there on my knees banging away whilst having one finger inside her rectum thinking i don't really want to be doing this and was starting to flop out, then i stopped, lept out of her and ran to the bathroom and threw up. i saw her one other time after that.


hope this helps.

Not really, I hate Wetherspoons.

[duarte]

Knew a girl once that needed to use 2 tampons.. 1 for Pink..1 for Brown

The horrible reality of Prolapse... and that started with just a finger..

Another mate had a similar situation to Mr Mulder...and He's marrying her next year :)

Polar Opposites I know, but I think your friend Squeamous.. Got off lightly =)

[Squeamous]

Knew a girl once that needed to use 2 tampons.. 1 for Pink..1 for Brown

The horrible reality of Prolapse... and that started with just a finger..

Another mate had a similar situation to Mr Mulder...and He's marrying her next year :)

Polar Opposites I know, but I think your friend Squeamous.. Got off lightly =)

Ah yes, the finger is definitely a gateway drug to anal gang banging and full rectal prolapse.

I rather think this is a good way to test a man: weed out the hypocrites and chauvanists before you get attached to them.

[duarte]

Knew a girl once that needed to use 2 tampons.. 1 for Pink..1 for Brown

The horrible reality of Prolapse... and that started with just a finger..

Another mate had a similar situation to Mr Mulder...and He's marrying her next year :)

Polar Opposites I know, but I think your friend Squeamous.. Got off lightly =)

Ah yes, the finger is definitely a gateway drug to anal gang banging and full rectal prolapse.

I rather think this is a good way to test a man: weed out the hypocrites and chauvanists before you get attached to them.

You want to test a man with a Rectal Prolapse? The imaginery alone has evoked symphathy and wincing...ewwww I'm so sorry/barf

An elegant solution? http://www.extremerestraints.com/bizarre-butt-plugs_7/bunny-tail-butt-plug_440.html

[Squeamous]

You want to test a man with a Rectal Prolapse? The imaginery alone has evoked symphathy and wincing...ewwww I'm so sorry/barf

An elegant solution? http://www.extremerestraints.com/bizarre-butt-plugs_7/bunny-tail-butt-plug_440.html

No offence, but we only just met. I only do bunny tail butt plugs on the second or maybe third date.

[megabyteme]

You want to test a man with a Rectal Prolapse? The imaginery alone has evoked symphathy and wincing...ewwww I'm so sorry/barf

An elegant solution? http://www.extremerestraints.com/bizarre-butt-plugs_7/bunny-tail-butt-plug_440.html

No offence, but we only just met. I only do bunny tail butt plugs on the second or maybe third date.

Prude. :snooty:

[duarte]

I meant as a medical solution.. not a sex toy! thou I can see where I may have implied otherwise :)

[Biggles]

i met this burd in a wetherspoons once up north, told her to come down south for a dirty weekend. she got through the front door, put her bags down and started undressing right away in my hallway. got her in the bedroom and started fucking her from behind and she said to slip a finger up her bumhole, i of course did. this was all very well except it was at the hight of swine flu in the uk and i had gotten it the day before (unknowingly). so i was there on my knees banging away whilst having one finger inside her rectum thinking i don't really want to be doing this and was starting to flop out, then i stopped, lept out of her and ran to the bathroom and threw up. i saw her one other time after that.


hope this helps.

Over the years there have been times when I felt a mild pang of jealousy at some of Mulder's sexploits - and there are times like this when I think "not for all the tea in China".

[Biggles]

You want to test a man with a Rectal Prolapse? The imaginery alone has evoked symphathy and wincing...ewwww I'm so sorry/barf

An elegant solution? http://www.extremerestraints.com/bizarre-butt-plugs_7/bunny-tail-butt-plug_440.html

No offence, but we only just met. I only do bunny tail butt plugs on the second or maybe third date.

They do bunny tail butt plugs these days? :O

Damn these furry freaks have got a lot answer for.

[Squeamous]

Biggles!!! Hello! :happy:

[brotherdoobie]

i met this burd in a wetherspoons once up north, told her to come down south for a dirty weekend. she got through the front door, put her bags down and started undressing right away in my hallway. got her in the bedroom and started fucking her from behind and she said to slip a finger up her bumhole, i of course did. this was all very well except it was at the hight of swine flu in the uk and i had gotten it the day before (unknowingly). so i was there on my knees banging away whilst having one finger inside her rectum thinking i don't really want to be doing this and was starting to flop out, then i stopped, lept out of her and ran to the bathroom and threw up. i saw her one other time after that.


hope this helps.

Over the years there have been times when I felt a mild pang of jealousy at some of Mulder's sexploits - and there are times like this when I think "not for all the v.d. in China".


Agreed.



-doobs

[Biggles]

Biggles!!! Hello! :happy:

Hey there madamship you still gunning for naughtiest scientist of the year award? This thread is a winner I'm thinking.

[Mr. Mulder]

i met this burd in a wetherspoons once up north, told her to come down south for a dirty weekend. she got through the front door, put her bags down and started undressing right away in my hallway. got her in the bedroom and started fucking her from behind and she said to slip a finger up her bumhole, i of course did. this was all very well except it was at the hight of swine flu in the uk and i had gotten it the day before (unknowingly). so i was there on my knees banging away whilst having one finger inside her rectum thinking i don't really want to be doing this and was starting to flop out, then i stopped, lept out of her and ran to the bathroom and threw up. i saw her one other time after that.


hope this helps.

Over the years there have been times when I felt a mild pang of jealousy at some of Mulder's sexploits - and there are times like this when I think "not for all the tea in China".

i've been staring down the same vagina for the past year almost, i regret that. i'd even settle for swine-flu rectum right now as a brake from the norm.

[Squeamous]

Hey there madamship you still gunning for naughtiest scientist of the year award? This thread is a winner I'm thinking.

Heh heh, fanx, it's turned out nicely I think!
I've actually won that award 5 years in a row though. Where's the challenge? I feel like I need to find a new direction :idunno:



i've been staring down the same vagina for the past year almost, i regret that. i'd even settle for swine-flu rectum right now as a brake from the norm.

Have you thought of spicing things up with a little roleplay? For instance, you could pretend you're a 70's porn star pretending to be a 70's washing machine mechanic, and your lady friend could furnish her downstairs patio area with some unkempt shrubbery and some cheap pink nylon. If you need any further suggestions please don't hesitate to ask x