Transformers: Dark of the Moon // 2011 - 7.3/10 (1,338 votes)

[iLOVENZB]

http://www.totalfilm.com/reviews/cinema/transformers-3

:eyebrows:

Let's just hope my eyes and ears gets a decent orgasm, all Michael Bay is good for :rolleyes:

[IdolEyes787]

If someone is going to pass themselves off as an authority on movies then they need to understand that T2 refers to Terminator 2 and not the shite Transformers franchise.

[whatcdfan]

If someone is going to pass themselves off as an authority on movies then they need to understand that T2 refers to Terminator 2 and not the shite Transformers franchise.

:lol:

You should be in the Hollywood if not in the parliament.

[IdolEyes787]

Peter Howell Movie Critic


Transformers: Dark of the Moon
http://www.thestar.com/images/misc/sb_star10.gifhttp://www.thestar.com/images/misc/sb_star10.gifhttp://www.thestar.com/images/misc/sb_halfstar.gif(out of 4)

Starring Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Patrick Dempsey, Frances McDormand, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson and John Malkovich. Directed by Michael Bay. 157 minutes. Now playing at major theatres. PG
Picking the “best” of the three Transformers movies is like choosing death by firing squad, shark mauling or being crushed by one of Wile E. Coyote’s giant anvils.
On reflection, I’d choose the anvil drop, which is what the last 45 minutes of Transformers: Dark of the Moon feels like, as the good alien robots (Autobots) and bad alien robots (Decepticons) turn Chicago into a scrapyard.
This is the summer 2011 blockbuster that is supposed to be the saviour for 3-D, since director Michael Bay has typically gone all-in for a fading technology he once scorned. He’s consulted with a 3-D master (Avatar’s James Cameron) and hectored projectionists, so as to deliver as big, bright and noisy a sensory overload as (in)humanly possible.
Whether he’s succeeded is all in the bloodshot eyes (and burst eardrums) of the beholder, but there’s no question that the overlong Transformers 3 is an improvement over the incomprehensible Transformers 2, which I’m still in therapy for, and the pokey original Transformers, which first turned these robot-changing Hasbro toy cars into multiplex behemoths.
This latest eruption qualifies for “most revived franchise” status, if only because scripter Ehren Kruger, the guilty pen behind Transformers 2, has literally found the plot, any plot.
This one ludicrously connects the 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing with Transformers lore — Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin secretly discover a smashed Autobots spaceship on the moon’s dark side — but at least it’s a conspiracy theory we can follow.
The lunar find leads to our sweaty teen hero Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) being reluctantly dragged yet again into the Autobots vs. Decepticons fray. But at least he has a new girlfriend to play with, in between explosions.
She’s feisty rich girl Carly, played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, a former Victoria’s Secret model. Carly easily fills the gap left by the departed Megan Fox, who was bounced for comparing Bay to Hitler. The assignment is a no-brainer, since the female lead in any Transformers film is simply required to supply the third “B” for the “’bots, bombs and boobs” franchise formula.
Such happy simplicity doesn’t extend to the rest of Transformers 3, which Bay and Kruger pack with so many excess characters, it’s as if they wanted the cast to be as bloated as Bay’s ego.
Whereas X-Men: First Class was content to digitally insert just President John F. Kennedy into its revisionist sci-fi, Transformers 3 two-ups the conceit by jamming JFK, Richard Nixon and Barack Obama into its historical distortions, complete with lousy look-alikes for all three presidents.
(Speaking of lousy look-alikes, the real Buzz Aldrin makes a brief cameo to remind us of how unlike him the film’s 1969 Aldrin stand-in is.)
Transformers 3 also triples up on the comic relief, with two pairs of humans and one pair of robots offering dubious yuks. John Turturro’s meddling FBI agent, which allows him to do his best Al Pacino imitation, now finds its distaff counterpoint in Frances McDormand’s snippy national intelligence director. Kevin Dunn and Julie White return as Sam’s smothering parents, mercifully with reduced screen time, while squabbling midget robots Wheelie and Brains once again check in to sell a few more Transformers toys.
The film’s best joke, however, is a tossed-off line. It’s when one Transformer tells another to “make something of yourself.” Such wit!
Also back are the cut-and-paste heroes played by Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson, who fill in on the action side while Sam goes through his tedious routine of arguing with and/or haranguing his parents, his transforming sports car Bumblebee and his Autobots mentor Optimus Prime before finally deciding to kick some Decepticon butt.
The crowd of villains includes two hiss-worthy corporate weasels, played by John Malkovich and Patrick Dempsey, plus Ol’ Reliable Megatron, boss of the Earth-threatening Decepticons, who still nurses wounds and grudges from the previous Transformers chapters.
Megatron still talks like a bad movie villain, the kind who always has to explain why he’s about to shoot/smash/disintegrate you. Much scarier is the new Decepticon muscle called Shockwave, an undulating creation that shuts up and gets the job done, such as knocking over an office tower in a scene that brings uncomfortable reminders of 9/11 — as does much of the script’s Bush-era bellicosity about “taking the fight to them.”
By my watch, Transformers 3 is about 45 minutes too long, and that’s the dull middle section before everybody starts wrecking Chicago in a reprise of The Blues Brothers.
At least Bay finally gets some genuine fight out of Optimus Prime, the Autobots leader who is one of the dullest of white knights. His modus operandi is to deliver a pious speech, to kick around Megatron for a minute or two and then to vanish for 15 minutes before returning to repeat the same ritual. Optimus at last gets down to some prime clobbering time.
The most interesting new inmate in the Transformers asylum is the acerbic and scrappy Autobots elder Sentinel Prime, voiced by Leonard Nimoy, who was in the crashed spaceship on the moon.
He’s revived to add a needed note of cynicism to the picture, which is to essentially ask why it is that humans, Autobots and Decepticons keep fighting the same ridiculous battles in movie after movie.
Sentinel Prime wants to know: Can’t everybody just get along by going along? That’s the kind of common sense you don’t hear much of in the Transformers franchise, and if the direction he’s heading is far away from a Transformers 4, then allow me join his clanking parade.
:)

[iLOVENZB]

TRS Review:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIoG8iej5Nc

Summary: Just another typical Michael Bay film. Woot!!!!

[d1sc0]

Megan Fox, was 99% of Transformers awesomeness. How could they? Shameful...

[mr. nails]

i love me some robot explosion action scenes, but for me to say this movie is horrible is an understatement. i haven't seen the 1st two films since they came out and i remember liking them, but this one was just flat out boring. the BEST scenes are when Optimus was in the picture. the best line in the film was, "Why do the Decepticons get all the good shit!?" i agree, the Autobots need an upgrade. without looking i think the movie was about 3 hours or so and i got bored about 1/2 way thru. the movie also tries to be funny and fails miserable at it too. i haven't did my research, but word on the street is that this was the last movie in the franchise and i wouldn't be sad if it was. pretty robots, ugly robots, and exploding robots. 5/10

also, i would like to add that the movie is still very gorgeous to look at.

[Mizo]

i will see this movie in 3D :D

[cinephilia]

i want 4d full bluray

[IdolEyes787]

As long as it's not smellorama since it already stinks bad enough.

[Artemis]

Megan Fox, was 99% of Transformers awesomeness. How could they? Shameful...

Apparently she called Michael Bay a nazi......

[IdolEyes787]

And then keeping in line with the idea that Micheal Bay never had an original idea in his head Steven Spielberg told Bay that he had to fire her.
First Bay asked Spielberg if instead of a public dismissal and the negative press that might result if he could just blow her up in the most awesome way though. :mellow:

[mr. nails]

it's made over 400 million in it's 1st week.

[Artemis]

it's made over 400 million in it's 1st week.

There seems to be this insane urge in the U.S. at the moment, you tell them it's going to be fucking awful and they all head off enmass, witness Charlie Sheen's violent torpedo of truth, I mean seriously, why would anyone with half a brain actually pay to hear about a violent torpedo of truth? Here yet again everyone said that Transformers 2 was deeply sadly awful, so they all herd off to see if the next one sucks as much, but of course in 3D with alot more special effects it has just got to be better....
This is why I like old movies so much, you know the ones before CGI, where people actually had to act and movies had a storyline, when there was a craft rather than technicians.

[IdolEyes787]

It must have been a bitch to get the Decepticons to hit their marks.
Oh well at least they saved on catering.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4gvXiy9iGQ

[fourover4]

Decent flick. I shouldnt have snuck in the sixer, I missed some robot destruction, or sam whining. Id like to see Michael Bay make a movie without one single explosion. I Challenge him.

[mr. nails]

645+ million in 2 weeks.

[HotWheels73]

I love Transformers. Sad thing Megan's not there.

[dany2294]

645+ million in 2 weeks.
nice...They got a lot of money in a short time!

[IdolEyes787]

645+ million in 2 weeks.
nice...They got a lot of money in a short time!

I guess since you gained access to the trade section you will have to do without your insightful comments here from now on.

[dragon1985]

Actually,I do not like T2 any more

[Funkin']

I saw it last week. It wasn't bad, it's just too similar to the first two. The series is growing stale. And it pains me to say it considering how much I love Transformers(I still have so many of the 80's action figures sitting on the shelves in my room, right next to the He-Man and Voltron figures), but it's time to end it. Or pass it off to someone that could do something completely different and more interesting with it.

It's the same thing throughout all three. The beginning of the movie, everybody's lives are normal. Then a little while later something terrible comes up and the Autobots(along with some five foot douche and a whore) and Decipticons start fighting each other. Of course the Autobots end up winning in the end.

Again, the movie was interesting. Especially when seen in 3D. But the series is way too repetitive.

[Guttsu]

I think Micheal Bay gets a bad wrap. Sure th TF Movies are contentless plot holes, but man oh man are they fun to watch. I believe there are "good" bad movies and "bad" bad movies, and Bay excells at making really fun piece of crap movies.


Decent flick. I shouldnt have snuck in the sixer, I missed some robot destruction, or sam whining. Id like to see Michael Bay make a movie without one single explosion. I Challenge him.

Why would you ask Bay to do such a thing, we all know that is Bay made a movies without an explosions or special effects it would make our eyes bleed. Thats like asking opera singer to come out with a rap album. Apple and Oranges my friend.

[IdolEyes787]

Micheal Bay might get a bad rap but that soulless idiot Michael deserves every bad review he gets.

[megabyteme]

The beginning of the movie, everybody's lives are normal. Then a little while later something terrible comes up and the Autobots(along with some five foot douche and a whore) and Decipticons start fighting each other. Of course the Autobots end up winning in the end.

Hey, if you are going to give away the whole plot, use a spoiler tag. :O

[iLOVENZB]

Any who actually goes into a Michael Bay film and expect a plot are kidding themselves. Go in there and treat your eyes and ears to some pleasurable scenes.

[IdolEyes787]

Any who actually goes into a Michael Bay film and expect a plot are kidding themselves. Go in there and treat your eyes and ears to some pleasurable scenes.

In slow motion too.

[look-at-me-now]

It's great

[iLOVENZB]

It's great

Thanks, I'm going to see this tomorrow now.

[IdolEyes787]

It's great

Thanks, I'm going to see this tomorrow now.

I am too.

No wait I'm actually going to stand next to a 747 on takeoff , eat stupid pills while having a laser pointed directly into my eyes but you can how I might have confused the two things.

Anyway as I see that bad word of mouth has no effect , people still go to see these things and as they do Bay is going to continue to make them . I guess I have no option left then but to kill you.
If it's any consolation though I'll run you over with a semi-tractor for the irony like.

[clocker]

It's great

Thanks, I'm going to see this tomorrow now.





Thanks, I'm going to see this tomorrow now.

I am too.

Man, I wish I had youse guys's disposable income...I have to budget for my entertainment.
Currently, I'm saving up to see Zookeeper in 3D IMAX but I'm sorely tempted by Undefeated, so I'm not sure.

Anyhoo, Transformers: DSOTM confuses me because someone told me that Megan Fox wasn't in it but Shia LaPoof was, which I find inexplicable.
Isn't this supposed to be "tentpole" entertainment?

[iLOVENZB]

Shia is the worst actor, he doesn't even have boobies or legs.

[IdolEyes787]

Shia is the worst actor, he doesn't even have ....... legs.:unsure:

Anyway I saw Zookeeper not and I'm fairly sure that Bernie the gorilla is a worse actor than Shia LaBeouf.I realize that he's a gorilla but I refuse to make allowances for specie.

Also Harold Russell or something.

[megabyteme]

You are defending Shai, Idol? Seriously?!!! I've seen Shai act, and he's no Bernie the gorilla. :noes:

Thus far, I thought he was a prop used to make his co-actresses look talented. That seemed to work. :idunno:

And I believe Bernie Mac would resent being called a gorilla. He just has a lot of hairy parts. :ermm:

[bazinga]

without Megan fox i can't see it :'(

[IdolEyes787]

You are defending Shai, Idol?



There's no defending Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. :no:


without Megan fox i can't see it :'(

I guess there's a lot that you can't see then.Like anything good like.

[whatcdfan]

without Megan fox i can't see it :'(

Stupidity at it's best, is she your mother? or does the Hollywood only comprises of lust and facial attraction? moron!

[mr. nails]

Avatar Domestic = $700 million

Avatar Worldwide = $2.7 billion

Avatar Budget = $235 million


Transformers 3 Domestic = $325 million

Transformers 3 Worldwide = $880 million - in 3.5 weeks time as of July 24th

Transformers 3 Budget = $195 million

[frankleon47]

i am planning to go out with friends and watch it on big screen..but couldn't find time. i love to be a robot.. :P

[clocker]

I was planning to go out with friends and watch it on big screen...but couldn't find friends.

[nova250]

I didn't really like that movie. It was boring. transformers 1 > 2 & 3

[enviouz]

I thought it was amazing. The effects are out of this world. Especially if you watch it in the 3D IMAX

[MicrosoftMan]

good movie

[Mariusqk]

good movie , sux megan fox not anymore :(

[iLOVENZB]

Ratings: 6.6/10 from 66,970 users

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1399103/ratings

[Quarterquack]

Two months before the movie: "Why is it called 'Dark of the Moon'?" "You'll understand when you watch the movie."~Bay
Two months later it still doesn't, you grammatical baboon.

Also they got Optimus Fucking Prime tangled in wires to allow for the human companions to seem like they have a worthwhile role in the movie's events. Irritating shitty script work. :frusty:

[IdolEyes787]

Two months before the movie: "Why is it called 'Dark of the Moon'?" "You'll understand when you watch the movie."~Bay
Two months later it still doesn't, you grammatical baboon.

Also they got Optimus Fucking Prime tangled in wires to allow for the human companions to seem like they have a worthwhile role in the movie's events. Irritating shitty script work. :frusty:

You probably didn't watch a good encode. It's much better with a good encode.

[Snee]

Peter Howell Stupid face


Transformers: Dark of the Moon
http://www.thestar.com/images/misc/sb_star10.gifhttp://www.thestar.com/images/misc/sb_star10.gifhttp://www.thestar.com/images/misc/sb_halfstar.gif(out of 4)

[...]
Carly easily fills the gap left by the departed Megan Fox
[...]
:)
TL;DR: The movie is really shit and he has no taste in women.

They may both be dumb as a box of rocks, but that's about the only gap she fills :(

Absolutely terrible movie though.

[iLOVENZB]

Now I want to see this :(.

[IdolEyes787]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dff_KSFPLBs

Megan Fox could have given a better account of herself.

[iLOVENZB]

You've resorted to TMZ Idol? He looks drunk as a skunk btw, knowing TMZ they probably mistaken a homo, alcohol infused brawl and tripping over and getting knocked the fuck out.

[IdolEyes787]

You've resorted to TMZ Idol?

I post on FST.I think how low I am willing to actually stoop has pretty much already been answered.

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/-transformers-4-and-5-could-shoot-back-to-back-with-jason-statham-15101

Transformers 3 DotM grossed $1,119,241,043 worldwide making it the highest-grossing film of the franchise and that's even before it went to home video. I don't think it takes a genius to predict that there will be another one.:mellow:
Even Michael Bay isn't that rich and/or stupid.

[mjmacky]

Transformers 3 DotM grossed $1,119,241,043 worldwide making it the highest-grossing film of the franchise and that's even before it went to home video.

Only you could bring me up just to turn it around and make me depressed the rest of the day

[IdolEyes787]

Only you could bring me up just to turn it around and make me depressed the rest of the day

Obviously you don't follow professional sports.

[mjmacky]

Only you could bring me up just to turn it around and make me depressed the rest of the day

Obviously you don't follow professional sports.

That would be correct, sort of. I was pleaded to join a fantasy football league that some of my family members participate in and my mom commissions. I've mostly ignored it and don't really know who any of these people are on my "team". I just kind of arranged them by their numbers. My QB is Michael Vick, the dog whisperer, and seems to be the only one giving me double digit figures.

[mjmacky]

If you're wondering how jacky does at fantasy sports, it's exactly as you imagine. I'm a loser:

89165

[ShadowHunter]

It was really great movie I really enjoyed it but I missed the megan fox