You're going to want to hold onto your bananas for this one

[mjmacky]

This is about a 30 minute NPR special on the banana that just recently re-aired. Since all of you here are dumb fucktards that hide from anything educational, I doubt anyone will actually follow up the link I'm providing as a courtesy. As a double courtesy, I will instead summarize all the crazy shit that's been going with the banana, past, present and future.

Terry Gross interviews Dan Koeppel on Fresh Air (it's a link to the mp3 podcast, can be downloaded for conveniences) (http://pd.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/fa/2011/08/20110830_fa_01.mp3?dl=1)

So first of all, we need to be fucking scared for our bananas. The Panama disease is out doing its fungal dance on bananas all around the world. It hasn't yet hit the Americas, so protect your bananas people, baking bread is now the second most dangerous fungal infection for our bananas.
Pretty much all bananas are the same nowadays. We used to have Big Mike, the Gros Michel, and it was a big sturdy banana. It was a banana that we could be proud of, then it got Panama disease because it was such a popular banana. Now we just have the inferior Cavendish, which is reflected visually because Asian bananas are smaller.
Men wielding their powerful bananas used their influences to control governments and put puppets in place. These were called Banana republics. These men needed more freedom for their bananas at the extreme inconvenience of others. The United Fruit Company, men who play a powerful game when they play with their bananas.
The CIA got involved with some covert banana stuff, for real. Nobody knew what they were doing with their hidden bananas, but we know now that Eisenhower had them depose Arbenz and put in power someone more friendly to their bananas.
If you want to put your mouth around one of the best tasting bananas in the world, head to the Philippines and look for Lacatan. You'll be excited to taste the Filipino's red banana.
You may think this thread is a little fruity, but you see, bananas are #1, but unless we keep our bananas safe and plan ahead for the future, they won't be #1 forever.

Here are some lovely Victorian ladies innocently putting some bananas in their mouths:

84528

[zojirushi]

Ah, yes. My girlfriend took a three week vacation to the Philippines, and she said that every man there gave her a red banana. I guess growing bananas is a common family business.

[Mr. Mulder]

I have a t-shirt in real life that says "ask me about my big banana". I bought it in Mallorca.

I hope this helps.

[teflon05]

As I recall, the big problem is that bananas have no seeds, so if you want to plant a new banana tree you need a shoot from another tree. Therefore, if all the trees got any type of disease, bananas would no longer exist, which would really suck. http://www.pic4ever.com/images/banana_smiley_6.gif http://www.pic4ever.com/images/banana_smiley_10.gif

[Squeamous]

This is about a 30 minute NPR special on the banana that just recently re-aired. Since all of you here are dumb fucktards that hide from anything educational, I doubt anyone will actually follow up the link I'm providing as a courtesy. As a double courtesy, I will instead summarize all the crazy shit that's been going with the banana, past, present and future.

Terry Gross interviews Dan Koeppel on Fresh Air (it's a link to the mp3 podcast, can be downloaded for conveniences) (http://pd.npr.org/anon.npr-mp3/npr/fa/2011/08/20110830_fa_01.mp3?dl=1)

So first of all, we need to be fucking scared for our bananas. The Panama disease is out doing its fungal dance on bananas all around the world. It hasn't yet hit the Americas, so protect your bananas people, baking bread is now the second most dangerous fungal infection for our bananas.
Pretty much all bananas are the same nowadays. We used to have Big Mike, the Gros Michel, and it was a big sturdy banana. It was a banana that we could be proud of, then it got Panama disease because it was such a popular banana. Now we just have the inferior Cavendish, which is reflected visually because Asian bananas are smaller.
Men wielding their powerful bananas used their influences to control governments and put puppets in place. These were called Banana republics. These men needed more freedom for their bananas at the extreme inconvenience of others. The United Fruit Company, men who play a powerful game when they play with their bananas.
The CIA got involved with some covert banana stuff, for real. Nobody knew what they were doing with their hidden bananas, but we know now that Eisenhower had them depose Arbenz and put in power someone more friendly to their bananas.
If you want to put your mouth around one of the best tasting bananas in the world, head to the Philippines and look for Lacatan. You'll be excited to taste the Filipino's red banana.
You may think this thread is a little fruity, but you see, bananas are #1, but unless we keep our bananas safe and plan ahead for the future, they won't be #1 forever.

Here are some lovely Victorian ladies innocently putting some bananas in their mouths:

84528

Yawn. This information has been in circulation for ages.

[Mr. Mulder]

i'd follow that link if it in any way would lead to me eating a banana that was half hanging out of squeamous's rectum.

[teflon05]

i'd follow that link if it in any way would lead to me eating a banana that was half hanging out of squeamous's rectum.

Only half?

[mjmacky]

Yawn. This information has been in circulation for ages.

Sure, it's been several years, but the modern issue is still relevant. My goal was to peel off the protective skin and expose the banana to everyone here.

Also, it hurts my feelings when you mock my banana

[mjmacky]

i'd follow that link if it in any way would lead to me eating a banana that was half hanging out of squeamous's rectum.

That link leads to a banana halfway into squeamous's rectum, and it's not your average Cavendish, it's a big thick creamy banana.

[Squeamous]

It doesn't you know. I just had a look and all there is in there are the rusting blades of a threshing machine, the libdem manifesto, everything ever written by Chuck Palahniuk apart from Fight Club, Mumsnet, the Daily Mail comments section, some tumbleweed, Oleg, your mums, a premiership footballer, and some Preparation H. No bananas.

[mjmacky]

If your rectum could digest foodstuffs, that would explain the discrepancy

[Squeamous]

I don't think it works if you put the foodstuffs up it!

[mjmacky]

I don't think it works if you put the foodstuffs up it!

Sure it does, South Park proved it. They're like an animated Myth Busters.

If you don't believe me, give it a try and tell me how it turns out

[Squeamous]

Ok, I'll film it too. If it works I'm going to want to record this amazing anal feat for posteriority.

[clocker]

Posteriorority?

[clocker]

Professor Posteriorority, Holmses' lesser known nemesis.

[Squeamous]

:p

[Squeamous]

Professor Posteriorority, Holmses' lesser known nemesis.

Holmes never fails to get to the bottom of a mystery!

[megabyteme]

Professor Posteriorority, Holmses' lesser known nemesis.

Holmes never fails to get to the bottom of a mystery!

He was always a bit anal in his methods...

[mjmacky]

When something doesn't smell right, he'll find the source

[Quarterquack]

With all the anal talk, I got hungry.

So I decided to update the part of this thread's populace who feels the same. This is the current state of bananas in the Darth household:

http://i.imgur.com/MwItKl.jpg

4K resolution available, for UHD fanatics.

[mjmacky]

With all the anal talk, I got hungry.

So I decided to update the part of this thread's populace who feels the same. This is the current state of bananas in the Darth household:

http://i.imgur.com/MwItKl.jpg

4K resolution available, for UHD fanatics.

Eww you left the foreskin on the banana, that's not kosher

[Squeamous]

With all the anal talk, I got hungry.

So I decided to update the part of this thread's populace who feels the same. This is the current state of bananas in the Darth household:

http://i.imgur.com/MwItKl.jpg

4K resolution available, for UHD fanatics.

Yeah, I saw a whole bunch of plates like that when I went and cleared out my dead grandma's house. However, instead of preparing a delicious dessert on them I threw them out. I figured no-one would want to eat off of anything that stank of denture cement and stale urine.

[mjmacky]

and stale urine.

You just can't beat the aroma of fresh urine

[Squeamous]

and stale urine.

You just can't beat the aroma of fresh urine

I once went and viewed a house that had belonged to a deceased old lady, with a view to buying it. The moment I walked through the front door the stench hit me. The old bag must have pissed herself everywhere. Fortunately the electricity had been cut off and it was night time so I didn't see any piles of turds or cat corpses lying about. I didn't buy it. I also once did a charity collection thing and agreed to go to an old man's house to count the coins. Again, the whole place stank of stale urine, and I was torn between being rude and refusing to sit down or touch anything, and sitting down on a large brown stain on the sofa cushion. In the end I just sat down and decided to burn my clothing when I left.
What I'm trying to say is, I know the difference between fresh and stale urine, and I would hoover up the former like it was columbian marching powder before I would touch anything DarthofTastefulCrockery prepared for me.

[Quarterquack]

Yeah, I saw a whole bunch of plates like that when I went and cleared out my dead grandma's house. However, instead of preparing a delicious dessert on them I threw them out. I figured no-one would want to eat off of anything that stank of denture cement and stale urine.

Yet again, it has proven rather unfortunate that some of us do live with our grandma models with the beating heart glitch.


I once went and viewed a house that had belonged to a deceased old lady, with a view to buying it. The moment I walked through the front door the stench hit me.

Should've bought it anyway. If for nothing else but to satisfy anything left of future suitors' prejudices.

[Squeamous]

Yet again, it has proven rather unfortunate that some of us do live with our grandma models with the beating heart glitch.


I once went and viewed a house that had belonged to a deceased old lady, with a view to buying it. The moment I walked through the front door the stench hit me.

Should've bought it anyway. If for nothing else but to satisfy anything left of future suitors' prejudices.

Can I have that in English?

[Quarterquack]

You stink. :tease:

[mjmacky]

You should have shouted, "NEIN!"

[Quarterquack]

I included a smiley. It's as amorphous to the English language as juxtaposing random German words mid-conversation. I deserve, at the very least, acknowledgement of that deprecative bastardizing effort, when faced with the taxing task of being grammatically astute, at the whims of the gender that earnt RejectofAllah's undying protest.

[Quarterquack]

Translation for Squirtilicious: Nein. I will not say Nein.

[mjmacky]

I included a smiley. It's as amorphous to the English language as juxtaposing random German words mid-conversation. I deserve, at the very least, acknowledgement of that deprecative bastardizing effort, when faced with the taxing task of being grammatically astute, at the whims of the gender that earnt RejectofAllah's undying protest.

About as dissociated as numbers, but it's gut.


Translation for Squirtilicious: Nine. I will not say Nine.

/spellcheck
/spell check

[Squeamous]

I included a smiley. It's as amorphous to the English language as juxtaposing random German words mid-conversation. I deserve, at the very least, acknowledgement of that deprecative bastardizing effort, when faced with the taxing task of being grammatically astute, at the whims of the gender that earnt RejectofAllah's undying protest.

I'm the first to admit I'm a bit of a dickhead, but thankfully just having a vagina seems to more than make up for it. Guess I'm just lucky!

[Quarterquack]

I'm the first to admit I'm a bit of a dickhead, but thankfully just having a vagina seems to more than make up for it. Guess I'm just lucky!

Actually, if guys need the vagina to tolerate you, they've got this whole thing backwards.
I like you. There's about two and a half women where I live that can stand their own in a conversation. You seem to handle yourself just fine.

Also, allow me to fix one thing for you: I'm proud of being a dickhead. It gives me an incredible amount of satisfaction knowing I've pushed someone to the edge of turning the exchange between us into a borderline monkey spar, as confirmation of the difference in levels of wit.

Hope you can read between the lines to find that insult. :yes:

[Squeamous]

I'm the first to admit I'm a bit of a dickhead, but thankfully just having a vagina seems to more than make up for it. Guess I'm just lucky!

Actually, if guys need the vagina to tolerate you, they've got this whole thing backwards.
I like you. There's about two and a half women where I live that can stand their own in a conversation. You seem to handle yourself just fine.

Also, allow me to fix one thing for you: I'm proud of being a dickhead. It gives me an incredible amount of satisfaction knowing I've pushed someone to the edge of turning the exchange between us into a borderline monkey spar, as confirmation of the difference in levels of wit.

Hope you can read between the lines to find that insult. :yes:

What are you fixing for me? I said that I was a dickhead, not that you weren't proud of being one.
Apart from that, great post.

[mjmacky]

What are you fixing for me? I said that I was a dickhead, not that you weren't proud of being one.
Apart from that, great post.

No I think he was just saying you talk pretty good for a broad

/instigation

[Squeamous]

What are you fixing for me? I said that I was a dickhead, not that you weren't proud of being one.
Apart from that, great post.

No I think he was just saying you talk pretty good for a broad

/instigation

Yeah I got that bit. The art of conversation is a dying one for both sexes unfortunately, but it is sad that a man should find it noteworthy if a woman is on an intellectual par with him, isn't it? Not sure if I should be offended for my sex or flattered at the compliment.

[Quarterquack]

No I think he was just saying you talk pretty good for a broad

/instigation

That wasn't the insult, but nice move, Macky. :(

I had a play on words about the monkey-spar bit. Squeamous found it adamantly necessary to argue about monkey genetics with me in the past.


Yeah I got that bit. The art of conversation is a dying one for both sexes unfortunately, but it is sad that a man should find it noteworthy if a woman is on an intellectual par with him, isn't it? Not sure if I should be offended for my sex or flattered at the compliment.

Flattered. Round where I live, in America's white cap, I can actually only name one (guy) friend who is entertaining to talk to. The intelligence ratio is staggering. That low-balls even the two ladies and the midget I was talking about earlier. Both genders share the blame, really.

Off-topic: Anyone ever notice that a white cap, brown jeans clash horrifically with a red, white and blue shirt?

[Squeamous]

That wasn't the insult, but nice move, Macky. :(

I had a play on words about the monkey-spar bit. Squeamous found it adamantly necessary to argue about monkey genetics with me in the past.


Oh, I didn't get that bit! I wasn't sparring with you in that debate. You can tell when I'm sparring because I'm happy to go on and on just for the mental exercise. If I just start ignoring you it's because you're indefatigably wrong or an idiot.


Flattered. Round where I live, in America's white cap, I can actually only name one (guy) friend who is entertaining to talk to. The intelligence ratio is staggering. That low-balls even the two ladies and the midget I was talking about earlier. Both genders share the blame, really.

Off-topic: Anyone ever notice that a white cap, brown jeans clash horrifically with a red, white and blue shirt?

Hang on.....I can't get that image out of my head now. Stupidity I can handle but not poor taste :ermm:

[Quarterquack]

Hang on.....I can't get that image out of my head now. Stupidity I can handle but not poor taste :ermm:

I agree, Geography needs to up its game.

[mjmacky]

Magic bananas


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VFCpPwr7rM

[megabyteme]

Cute-ish chick knows what to do with a banana. :naughty:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pUGgqpghxU&feature=player_embedded

[anigav]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp8ttwikTEs