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Quarterquack
09-06-2011, 04:04 PM
Why does macky get to be the only scientist spreading inanity on here? I want some of the action.

So, until about less than a month ago, patents were these things I read about in newsletters, heard about in conventions, and saw morons gloat about in pornographic films; and then continued to think to myself "what a pointless system for robbing ideas, ingenuity, and strapping down the only people trying to move the world forward".

Then I had to finally patent something myself. Now I'm left with "Who the fuck came up with this moronic system to steal ideas?" Not only does the system open up your backside to the entire world to blackmail you, steal your idea (even though the system was instated for the contrary!), and promote the updating of over 90% of concepts ever created thus giving silly rights to those who deserve them the least in rapidly growing markets, but I had to, on about 25 different occasions explain the same concept repeatedly, without alterations, to the same group of people, whose job was to do nothing better than to sit in the corner of a room, wear gigantic spectacles, and refer to dossiers about the different laws I might be breaking, or infringements I might be making.

For those of you unaware of the laws, you patent a system/idea/some other junk, as long as it's relevant to whatever insipid field you work in, and then miraculously, you have rights to it for 20 years. You could not do that, but then if you are in an environment where your product can be marketed or used, chances are someone will beat you to it. Then once you're done patenting, or getting beaten to the process by a few days, or losing the rights to it in a different country like Belgium where you might have forgotten to apply, or getting rejected and then having someone else patent the same, you get hordes of monkeys who couldn't figure up from down on their own phoning you at ungodly hours, asking for explanations, licensing or arguing about their moronic rights.

I submitted two patent applications, of which only one was accepted. The first patent was for a form of renewable energy during catalyzed reactions. The second was for a radical and silly cancer treatment concept, that I only submitted as a mockery of the system. The latter was accepted, because apparently metabolism is more important than anything nowadays. Look forward to my name publicized 18 months from now, on a patent that I wrote as a joke, while an ingenious idea, probably worth more to the average joe than cancer treatment, which will never materialize for the next 30 years, lies in the bottom shelf of some consultant's directory, in hopes that someday someone patents the cure for idiocy, releases the invention, and my paper is retrieved for reviewing again.

I'm pretty sure that whoever instated this demonic system probably stole the idea from some South African diamond miner's diary, just for irony's sake. Which brings me to the next point. I'm probably going to patent the concept of conglomerate patent trolling and/or patent ownership sponsorship for economic stability. I'll use some Ayn Rand quotes next time. Maybe then some office junkie will get a clue as to what is a joke and what is not.

IdolEyes787
09-06-2011, 04:33 PM
I'll use some Ayn Rand quotes next time..

You legally can't as I've already got the patent on that.

Squeamous
09-06-2011, 05:46 PM
I'm sorry but I simply haven't got the patents to read all that.

Skiz
09-06-2011, 08:45 PM
I'm pretty sure anything over 2 paragraphs should be in the Drawing Room. :unsure:

Quarterquack
09-06-2011, 08:49 PM
I'm pretty sure anything over 2 paragraphs should be in the Drawing Room. :unsure:

I would have put it there if it weren't largely for the fact that it's mostly a complaint, rather than a debatable topic.
If you want to maintain the sanctity of this section's inanity and one liners, however, I will not object to a relocation. You're free to do as you see fit.

clocker
09-06-2011, 09:15 PM
[QUOTE=Skiz;3612051]
If you want to maintain the sanctity of this section's inanity and one liners, however, I will not object to a relocation.
Hey, it's hard to be brief AND inane at the same time.

IdolEyes787
09-06-2011, 09:20 PM
[QUOTE=Darth Rings;3612054]
Hey, it's hard to be brief AND inane at the same time.

I don't know, you just managed it.

Skiz
09-06-2011, 09:22 PM
I'm pretty sure anything over 2 paragraphs should be in the Drawing Room. :unsure:

I would have put it there if it weren't largely for the fact that it's mostly a complaint, rather than a debatable topic.
If you want to maintain the sanctity of this section's inanity and one liners, however, I will not object to a relocation. You're free to do as you see fit.

Hey, it's the Lounge. Post what you want here. :idunno:

Squeamous
09-06-2011, 09:29 PM
[QUOTE=clocker;3612064]

I don't know, you just managed it.

:glag:

A
09-06-2011, 09:35 PM
Cobra effect

NotLettingItGo
09-06-2011, 09:46 PM
Of course they didn't grant your patent, they took one look at you and thought "No fucking way has he ever had an original thought in his life". So come on who did you steal the idea from?

megabyteme
09-07-2011, 12:53 AM
Apple. Apparently ALL ideas of the past 3 decades have originated at Apple. Just ask them... :ermm:

mjmacky
09-07-2011, 02:07 AM
Why does macky get to be the only scientist spreading inanity on here? I want some of the action.

Because I patented it. And just like copyright infringement, you shat all over my patent.

Patents are intellectual property, for which most cases are established so that the ideas can be sold to a larger party that didn't have the creative talent in a timely fashion. The biggest problem is the whole fucking thing is outdated. Nobody wants to move around the old lazy dinosaur.

Other famous patents: Gen. George Patton and Patton Oswalt

Squeamous
09-07-2011, 10:52 AM
85066

mjmacky
09-07-2011, 01:23 PM
Photograph of Chris Patten

I don't know who that is in the photo

Squeamous
09-07-2011, 03:24 PM
Photograph of Chris Patten

I don't know who that is in the photo
It's ok, I don't know who any of yours are either.

NotLettingItGo
09-07-2011, 11:40 PM
...I submitted two patent applications, of which only one was accepted. The first patent was for a form of renewable energy during catalyzed reactions. The second was for a radical and silly cancer treatment concept, that I only submitted as a mockery of the system...

So you openly admit to trolling the patent office, and they granted you the patent... that must make you the "Official FST Lounge Patent Troll"

We need an admin to change his title :)

IdolEyes787
09-08-2011, 01:49 AM
Why does macky get to be the only scientist spreading inanity on here? I want some of the action.

Because I patented it. And just like copyright infringement, you shat all over my patent.

Patents are intellectual property, for which most cases are established so that the ideas can be sold to a larger party that didn't have the creative talent in a timely fashion. The biggest problem is the whole fucking thing is outdated. Nobody wants to move around the old lazy dinosaur.

Other famous patents: Gen. George Patton and Patton Oswalt

8512985130

clocker
09-08-2011, 02:02 AM
Hey, it's hard to be brief AND inane at the same time.

I don't know, you just managed it.
Because I'm just that good.