How Does Santa Do It?

[DarthInsinuate]

How does old, fat Father Christmas deliever all our prezzies in one night?

Does he have a magic sleigh that goes fast?
Does he stop time at midnight?
Does he infact not deliver himself but hires elves/posties/Ernest to do it?


In my opinion (after watching The Matrix a few too many times) Santa discovered the truth about our world and can bend the rules and fly/kung-fu/stop bullets/bend spoons and deliver presents in bullet-time

[Rappy]

remember the time zones ya know its a diffirent time here than it is there so i use time zones to help me also i have a few helpers so sometimes someone other than me will deliver them to ur house plus yes the sleds are super fast

[Mr. Mulder]

It's a funny time is Christmas. On one hand you've got kids saying that it is possible to visit every house in the world all in one single night. And on the other hand you've got adults saying that that's absolute crap and that Christmas is about a man who can walk on water.

Personally I think they're both talking shit :lol:

[Rappy]

:angry:
:angry: santa don't like hoodlems like u telling me i don't exzist





-santa :santa:

[j2k4]

With full consent of the will, and supreme confidence in his abilities. :)

He is very committed to his work. :D

[ezyryder]

How he crosses into international air spaces also confuses me. Another thing, just because one of the parents is a jehovah witness, Santa won't visit that house? Oh, what, becuase of the country, he wont visit? Lastly, because your family is too poor, he wont treat you as nicely as your friends?

Face it, santa is one evil fat prick.

[dimented]

I don't like santa, but my parents give me presents :D

In the latest Fairy theory it is know that Santa Does a time stop. Stops time for a very long while. And during the timestop your brain can't won't allow you too change actions. Say you were sleeping no matter what you can
t wake up your brain won't let you. Say you were awake, your brain won't let you go to sleep. But say you get drugged that can put you to sleep cause your brain is forced. So thats the latest Fairy Theory.

[Riddler]

Originally posted by DarthInsinuate@13 November 2003 - 09:14
How does old, fat Father Christmas deliever all our prezzies in one night?

Does he have a magic sleigh that goes fast?
Does he stop time at midnight?
Does he infact not deliver himself but hires elves/posties/Ernest to do it?


In my opinion (after watching The Matrix a few too many times) Santa discovered the truth about our world and can bend the rules and fly/kung-fu/stop bullets/bend spoons and deliver presents in bullet-time
According to the FBI, Interpol and various other sources, the man with the aliases; Santa, Kris Kringle, Saint Nick, Jelly Belly is the elusive leader of a world-wide ring of master thieves and burglars. They're M.O. generally follows this pattern.....on or about December 25 each year, " Santas " break in to homes throughout the world leaving packages of cheaply made toys, gifts, bad ties, etc.underneath decorated, dead evergreen trees, all the while taking digital images of the more costly and fenceable contents in each household. These images are then uploaded to a sattelite where they are retrieved by the various members of this criminal organization ( calling themselves Santa's Little Helpers ). Shortly afterwards these homes are burgled and the the expensive items fenced, the profits split and the surplus providing funding for next year's shipment of cheap goods to be delivered to future homes...thus renewing the vicious cycle. Anyone having information regarding the whereabouts of this criminal master mind is asked to contact " The Easter Bunny " at FBI headquarters in Washington;
(202) 324-3447
935 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W.
Washington DC
USA

:P

[JONNO_CELEBS]

I'm not alowed to post in here cos it said "NOT a discussion about sex"..........DoH! :unsure:

He&#39;s very clever tho and I guess Mrs.Claus gives him a .....................Bad Jonno <_<

Jonno B)

[dimented]

Originally posted by Riddler@13 November 2003 - 20:38
According to the FBI, Interpol and various other sources, the man with the aliases; Santa, Kris Kringle, Saint Nick, Jelly Belly is the elusive leader of a world-wide ring of master thieves and burglars. They&#39;re M.O. generally follows this pattern.....on or about December 25 each year, " Santas " break in to homes throughout the world leaving packages of cheaply made toys, gifts, bad ties, etc.underneath decorated, dead evergreen trees, all the while taking digital images of the more costly and fenceable contents in each household. These images are then uploaded to a sattelite where they are retrieved by the various members of this criminal organization ( calling themselves Santa&#39;s Little Helpers ). Shortly afterwards these homes are burgled and the the expensive items fenced, the profits split and the surplus providing funding for next year&#39;s shipment of cheap goods to be delivered to future homes...thus renewing the vicious cycle. Anyone having information regarding the whereabouts of this criminal master mind is asked to contact " The Easter Bunny " at FBI headquarters in Washington;
(202) 324-3447
935 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W.
Washington DC
USA

:P
Wow lol i never knew that. What would the parents say if they saw this "criminal" oviously they know it can&#39;t be santa clauz? :blink:

[Riddler]

:lol: Our parents were all in on it for a slice of the profits since we were very young and now they&#39;re sworn to secrecy. B)

[Gemby!]

my brother when i was little used to tell me that he would tell me a secret about santa the following year , i used to beg and beg him to tell me ( i was very young)

and he finally did when i was about 13 &#33;&#33;

i already knew by then that santa wasn&#39;t real &#33;

[JONNO_CELEBS]

Originally posted by gemby&#33;@13 November 2003 - 20:57


i already knew by then that santa wasn&#39;t real &#33;
:o He&#39;s not??..................http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Cjcooljonno/Thud.gif

My life is ruinedhttp://hometown.aol.co.uk/Cjcooljonno/cry2.gif

Jonno B)

[Gemby!]

whoops ............... :ph34r: *runs *

[Rappy]

none of u people are getting presents

[Lilmiss]

The night before Christmas a long long time ago, Santa was getting his presents ready in his shed, when Mrs. Claus shouted through "mother is coming for dinner."
This angered Santa slightly, so he started throwing his presents on the sleigh. With all the uneven weight, the sleigh fell into a million pieces, scaring off his reindeer into the cold night.

He went back inside for a cuppa and a hot toddy, but the teapot slipped out off his hands shattering onto the floor. Santa lost his balance, slipped in the water and fell
hard on his bum. Sodden wet and feeling grumpy, he got up and reached into the top cupboard for his jammy dodgers, when the shelving gave way and the contents fell onto of his head, knocking him back on the floor.

Just then, the doorbell went. He went to answer the door and found a small fairy at the door with his Christmas tree. "Where would you like your tree?" asked the fairy.

http://hometown.aol.co.uk/Lynne1977uk/chrome+shimmer.gif

Thats why there is a fairy at the top of the tree at xmas. ;) :D

[Riddler]

http://members.shaw.ca/wenpigsfly/smileys/clap.gifhttp://members.shaw.ca/wenpigsfly/smileys/tooth.gif

[Lilmiss]

heh heh....I love that toothy grin. :P

still, one of my fave parts of xmas is opening my Santa sack.
even though my lil bro tends to take advantage of my lazyness and rumages through it before i get up. :(

[SniperInTheShadows]

Originally posted by JONNO_CELEBS@13 November 2003 - 20:41
I&#39;m not alowed to post in here cos it said "NOT a discussion about sex"..........DoH&#33; :unsure:

He&#39;s very clever tho and I guess Mrs.Claus gives him a .....................Bad Jonno <_<

Jonno B)
You&#39;re not allowed to you say, yet you did so anyway? lol I like your style lol :-)

@ lilmiss - rofl at the fairytale ;)

Sniper.

EDIT : Forgot to say, Santa, or should I say "Santa&#39;s", is an army of clones. There are hundred&#39;s of them for every country and they work with military precission to deliver all the present&#39;s worldwide in the space of a nano-second :)

[Lilmiss]

Originally posted by SniperInTheShadows@15 November 2003 - 15:00
Santa, or should I say "Santa&#39;s", is an army of clones. There are hundred&#39;s of them for every country and they work with military precission to deliver all the present&#39;s worldwide in the space of a nano-second :)
Me Ma and Pa saw a group of 15 or so Santa&#39;s fighting outside a resturant&#33;
God bless the xmas spirit. :D

[SniperInTheShadows]

Originally posted by lilmiss@15 November 2003 - 15:32
Me Ma and Pa saw a group of 15 or so Santa&#39;s fighting outside a resturant&#33;
God bless the xmas spirit. :D
omg hahahaha That&#39;s just too sureal lol :)

Sniper.