Everyone wants to put their hands on my package

[mjmacky]

I have a package theft problem in my building. The UPS guys drop off the packages and run away, whether or not I'm home. They had stolen a cheesecake (gift to us), and recently a box with 3 bags of tobacco.

With the most recent shipment, I snatched it up as soon as it arrived, and removed the contents from the bottom. I supplanted the space with an empty mobile phone box, and where the phone should be I placed this note. I also ripped an EEPROM chip out of an old electronic board and concealed it within the packaging with electric tape.

102943

My plan is to get some UV-activated theft detection powder, but wanted to do something sooner. Think this will be at all effective?

[IdolEyes787]

Simpler solution would probably be to just move out of the ghetto.

[Artemis]

It really depends on whether your lightfingered cohabitants can read sanskrit or not, whether they will feel at all threatened by your missive. :blink:

[ziggyjuarez]

Y is yer tobacco in bags?

[Artemis]

My plan is to get some UV-activated theft detection powder, but wanted to do something sooner. Think this will be at all effective?

Some wire, a 9v battery, a mercury switch, a shotgun shell with the pellets removed and a very vivid dye that does not come off easily would be a very effective theft detection powder. :naughty:

[megabyteme]

You could simply request UPS hold your packages at its office, or be placed in a locked box which the delivery guy would have a key, or contact the main office and work out another acceptable delivery option.

[Quarterquack]

UPS is garbage. They lost my package holding about $200 worth of Beer. They offered to repurchase my package and ship it to me for free, except that it was Westvleteren 12, and the production run for the entire year was over. I'd have to wait an entire year to ship the same package.

They also refused to refund me, saying it went against their policy. Morons.

[megabyteme]

UPS is garbage. They lost my package holding about $200 worth of Beer. They offered to repurchase my package and ship it to me for free, except that it was Westvleteren 12, and the production run for the entire year was over. I'd have to wait an entire year to ship the same package.

They also refused to refund me, saying it went against their policy. Morons.

Way to slip in that you buy expensive, elitist beer. Douche. Still not nearly as cool as Macky's missing cheesecake. At least someone cared enough about him to buy him a nice gift. And UPS would have checked your ID before giving you the package anyway, and would not have been able to give it to you until an adult was present.

[visionze]

i want to get so drunk .. coz i cant handle me right now

[mjmacky]

I had already made an arrangement with UPS to require a signature. They stopped honoring it recently, to which I didn't really protest as it became quite a hassle to get my packages (sometimes would take 3-4 days after it has arrived). So that's my doorstep. I don't need to wire a shotgun, I'm not a gun person. I'm a follow-the-UV-powder-to-your-doorstep-and-chloroform-you-when-you-return-home kind of guy.

[Quarterquack]

Way to slip in that you buy expensive, elitist beer. Douche.

Corona/Heineken/Popular Beers taste like cat piss. They have the right colour for it, too.


I'm a follow-the-UV-powder-to-your-doorstep-and-chloroform-you-when-you-return-home kind of guy.

You're a boring hag in real life. If it were me, I'd ask for a neighbourly gathering. I'd show up to their apartment with a nice tobacco cake. Once they spit it out, I'd ask them why they were surprised with my visitor's gift so much.

Good confrontation leaves a memory for years.

[Squeamous]

It really depends on whether your lightfingered cohabitants can read sanskrit or not, whether they will feel at all threatened by your missive. :blink:

It's not even joined up. There is a man with no confidence in his own legibility :no:

[Squeamous]

I think it's clear what's going on here: Macky is actually in a sex offender's prison. The cake was confiscated because of the nail file inside it, and the tobacco was contraband. Time to stop the self delusion Macky x

[Quarterquack]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]102943[ATTACH]

Now that Artemis pointed it out, and Squeamous pressed further - can you clarify to everyone what a "c2mer2s (WiFi b2sed)" is?

I mean, at least have the decency to use 4's. This just puts you right between confused and wannabe-1337.

[mjmacky]

I've had a tendency to write my "a" in that manner ever since I learned Attican Greek. I felt it was a more natural way to write it, never feeling fully comfortable with the now standard written form. It confuses the hell out of my students who confuse it for a 2 (can be really confusing as calcium can be confused for 2 carbons). Anyways, I stand by it and Darth is now on the same level as my students. This is the slow process of killing him off.


The criticisms are all irrelevant now, since the point has been mooted at the fact that the fucking thieving bastard didn't thieve the package. It's still sitting in front of my door (untouched), and I'm leaving it there until somebody gets super annoyed by it. At that point I will probably continue to leave it there.

[Artemis]

The criticisms are all irrelevant now.....

Yet not a thank you for my D.I.Y. theft detection powder/dye tip. :mad3:

N.B. if you used blue dye, you could make them look like members of the blueman group. :blink:

[mjmacky]

Believe me, I've literally considered this plan. I just haven't fully looked into the legal liability since that would immediately be traced back to me. If I go with the cloak and dagger technique, I would get personal satisfaction and wouldn't have to worry as much about being found out.

103033

[Squeamous]

The criticisms are all irrelevant now, since the point has been mooted at the fact that the fucking thieving bastard didn't thieve the package. It's still sitting in front of my door (untouched), and I'm leaving it there until somebody gets super annoyed by it. At that point I will probably continue to leave it there.

:lol:
Seems to me you're the only one getting annoyed. Whoever this prankster is gets my seal of approval. I couldn't piss you off this much if I tried :happy:

[Artemis]

Believe me, I've literally considered this plan. I just haven't fully looked into the legal liability since that would immediately be traced back to me. If I go with the cloak and dagger technique, I would get personal satisfaction and wouldn't have to worry as much about being found out.

103033

You could combine your frustration with your hobby and leave brightly wrapped packages in playgrounds. The overall effect would be of lots of smurfs running free.....

[mjmacky]

Seems to me you're the only one getting annoyed.

I am annoyed at myself. My 2 settings are pacifism and violent irrational rampage. I'm going to leave it out there until it's taken, even when I start getting letters from the Association saying I'm in violation of some bylaw or whatnot. The goal is to bring a lot of attention to the issue, as our unit can't be the only one being relieved of delivered items.

[mjmacky]

You could combine your frustration with your hobby and leave brightly wrapped packages in playgrounds. The overall effect would be of lots of smurfs running free.....

There's a common misconception about pedophiles, that basically all are good for the pickings. I don't do ugly kids. I am not attracted to the smurf.

[Artemis]

Seems to me you're the only one getting annoyed.

I am annoyed at myself. My 2 settings are pacifism and violent irrational rampage. I'm going to leave it out there until it's taken, even when I start getting letters from the Association saying I'm in violation of some bylaw or whatnot. The goal is to bring a lot of attention to the issue, as our unit can't be the only one being relieved of delivered items.

You're a bit outmoded there aren't you? Even Mean Angel had four settings.

http://i.imgur.com/A7bov.jpg

[Artemis]

i think i am the minority

Nope, there are 1.17 billion Indians, it's just that most of them aren't fuckwits like you. :blink:

[Artemis]

¿ʇoןɐ ʇɹɐɟ puɐ ʎɹɹnɔ ʇɐǝ

[megabyteme]

Seems to me you're the only one getting annoyed.

I am annoyed at myself. My 2 settings are pacifism and violent irrational rampage. I'm going to leave it out there until it's taken, even when I start getting letters from the Association saying I'm in violation of some bylaw or whatnot. The goal is to bring a lot of attention to the issue, as our unit can't be the only one being relieved of delivered items.

UPS packages are disappearing.
You've had poor service from your UPS delivery driver.
A package that was not delivered by UPS is still sitting, undisturbed at your doorstep.

I would consider the UPS driver as a VERY possible suspect.

[Artemis]

just part of the problem .. not the solution ....
You could always end it all, just go outside and let a train run over your hands, you'll never be able to type again. Mind you wanking will be a bit of a problem, but I'm sure your family will help you out.

[megabyteme]

Thanks, Art. I'll keep that in mind... :sadwalk:

[Artemis]

:glagpinch: t'was meant for yon J-Dufus clone.

[Artemis]

˙ǝɹǝɥʇ ǝʌoɯ noʎ ɟı ʎɹɹnɔ ɟo s,ʇoן pǝǝu ןן,noʎ

[megabyteme]

:glagpinch: t'was meant for yon J-Dufus clone.

I feel better knowing you still care somewhat tolerate me. :lookaroun

[Artemis]

i watch a lot of survivor series .. i can hunt down a few reindeers on my own .....
man women wild.. cody and the other guy .. that one wild guy ...
No reindeer in Antarctica, so you're shit out of luck there.

[mjmacky]

I am annoyed at myself. My 2 settings are pacifism and violent irrational rampage. I'm going to leave it out there until it's taken, even when I start getting letters from the Association saying I'm in violation of some bylaw or whatnot. The goal is to bring a lot of attention to the issue, as our unit can't be the only one being relieved of delivered items.

UPS packages are disappearing.
You've had poor service from your UPS delivery driver.
A package that was not delivered by UPS is still sitting, undisturbed at your doorstep.

I would consider the UPS driver as a VERY possible suspect.

You mean they're all doing this? I've never seen the same UPS person twice, seems like they have a high turnover rate... perhaps because they keep stealing packages. I would suspect a piece of shit neighbor over them, nothing but a bunch of privileged cockmunchers live here.

[megabyteme]

You mean they're all doing this? I've never seen the same UPS person twice, seems like they have a high turnover rate... perhaps because they keep stealing packages. I would suspect a piece of shit neighbor over them, nothing but a bunch of privileged cockmunchers live here.

There are some relatively inexpensive, mountable (with protective bubble) wireless cameras. Just sounds like you've got a mix of assholes around you, and/or delivering to you. My service is pretty good, but I know what it is like to wait for packages. We get a lot of stuff delivered 2-day from Amazon, and it irritates me when they don't make the promised day.

[mjmacky]

OK, time for update. The thieving bastard thieved the bait package. Now I'm waiting to see what their next move is.

[Artemis]

OK, time for update. The thieving bastard thieved the bait package. Now I'm waiting to see what their next move is.

Since your bait package didn't offer a wealth of easily saleable goods, my guess is their next move it go thieving somewhere that has a higher return.

[mjmacky]

OK, time for update. The thieving bastard thieved the bait package. Now I'm waiting to see what their next move is.

Since your bait package didn't offer a wealth of easily saleable goods, my guess is their next move it go thieving somewhere that has a higher return.

Waiting to see if it shows back up at my doorstep out of general paranoia.

[manker]

I don't get this at all.
Can you track the package using the chip or what, like?

[Artemis]

I don't get this at all.
Can you track the package using the chip or what, like?

It wasn't an RFID chip ffs, he was just relying on tech mumbo jumbo to baffle yon package purloiners and hopefully scare the shit out of them.
Mind you the image of macky wandering around the neighborhood with a scanner muttering to himself as he hunts for said thieves (if it had been an RFID chip) is quite a funny one. :naughty:

[IdolEyes787]

I don't get this at all.
Can you track the package using the chip or what, like?

It wasn't an RFID chip ffs, he was just relying on tech mumbo jumbo to baffle yon package purloiners and hopefully scare the shit out of them.
Mind you the image of macky wandering around the neighborhood with a scanner muttering to himself as he hunts for said thieves (if it had been an RFID chip) is quite a funny one. :naughty:

I'm pretty sure that Death Wish started something like that.

[manker]

:dabs:

I thought I must be missing something. I can't vicariously enjoy the thought of the thieves worrying about their actions when the worry will inexorably dissipate into nothingness due to Mary's impotence.

[Artemis]

Despite the legal dubiousness of said plan, I still think the dye bomb would be the way to go, and of course it would be exceedingly simple to spot the perpetrators.

[megabyteme]

I would think a chemist would do something with chemicals, or something. :idunno:

[mjmacky]

I have a new theory, it could be the maintenance people. Would explain why it stayed out there all weekend and come Monday morning up and disappears with no regards to its ominous vibe.

I've just been too lazy to order the powder. It's not really impotence if I haven't bothered to rub it a little.

[Funkin']

and recently a box with 3 bags of tobacco.


No local smoke shop? I've been making my own cigs for about a year now and I definitely wouldn't trust the likes of UPS/USPS/DHL, etc with(one of) my vice.

[mjmacky]

and recently a box with 3 bags of tobacco.


No local smoke shop? I've been making my own cigs for about a year now and I definitely wouldn't trust the likes of UPS/USPS/DHL, etc with(one of) my vice.

I went from local smoke shops to online ordering. They charge ridiculous prices, e.g. $38 for 150 g (which makes approx 7 packs of cigarettes) or they'll charge $15 for 30 g (makes 1 1/2 packs of cigarettes). Online, I can buy a tobacco that I enjoy the taste and cut for $25 for almost 400 g (makes 2 cartons). I think I'm going to stop doing that though, and instead just order leaves and cut them up in a food processor.

[mjmacky]

It seems the message was received, my recent package has been outside my door since Thursday. The contents were inconspicuously replaced with soon to be rotting yogurt, cherries and lettuce. No bug problem just yet, but I'm going to make a habit of replacing items with various articles of perishable trash. If I want people to steal my packages, some derivative of Murphy's Law will be in effect so I guess booby trapping is just something I'll do from now on.

Also, made the switch to tobacco leaves. Got a hand cranked tobacco leaf shredder to go with it (sort of looks like a simplified version of a meat grinder). I got some samples of Canadian Virginia Flue Cured, Aged Burley, and Aged Fronto/Dark Air Cured, and play around with the blends a little.

Where the fuck is everybody? It's so boring on FST right now. You'd think there was a holiday or something.

[megabyteme]

Also, made the switch to tobacco leaves. Got a hand cranked tobacco leaf shredder to go with it (sort of looks like a simplified version of a meat grinder). I got some samples of Canadian Virginia Flue Cured, Aged Burley, and Aged Fronto/Dark Air Cured, and play around with the blends a little.

Where the fuck is everybody? It's so boring on FST right now. You'd think there was a holiday or something.

We seem to be the only ones to survive St. Alcohol's day.

Perhaps my evil mind is seeing too far into this (or maybe wishing for), you to use your new tobacco cutter on the fingers of the soon-to-be captured thieves. :devil:

[mjmacky]

Perhaps my evil mind is seeing too far into this (or maybe wishing for), you to use your new tobacco cutter on the fingers of the soon-to-be captured thieves. :devil:

And ruin my new leaf shredder, absolutely naught. I will buy a meat grinder for that.

[manker]

Where the fuck is everybody? It's so boring on FST right now. You'd think there was a holiday or something.

We seem to be the only ones to survive St. Alcohol's day.It was St. Patricks Day. I had no idea but I did have four or five points of Guinness during the course of events.

It was the last week of the Six Nations, everyone in the UK was out getting pished the fuck right up because Wales won the Grand Slam.
Well, that's what I was doing anyhow.

103940 103941
103939 103938

I was there.
Well, not actually in there as such, but just around the corner in a pub.

[mjmacky]

More sports where they cheat with their hands...

[manker]

you cheat with your face

[mjmacky]

you cheat with your face

I am pretty bad at headers.