Leers I have known and loved

[Squeamous]

I've discovered there's a sweet spot in the day when I am more likely than any other to get leered at by men in the street. Usually, like today, it's in the afternoon of a weekend when I'm doing the walk of shame home in what I was wearing the night before. I think the combination of looking out of place and wearing very little is probably what does it. The quality of the leering at this time of day seems to be much better too. At night time it's usually along the lines of 'hoi *insert complimentary label*, then the word 'CUNT!' when they get ignored. During the day they can be quite witty. Probably because they're sober.

Anyway, today I got a doozie. Some scrotes in a car pulled up beside me and started making personal comments about my form, which I ignored. They then decided to get my attention by shouting 'Emmanuel Petit' to me. Took me ages to work out what they were getting at; I had to look it up when I got home. Turns out he's a fucking ex Arsenal football player. They were saying I looked like him, the little cunts!

104628

Ah well, at least he's handsome :happy:

[enoughfakefiles]

You never put a comparison photie up :J2smilie:

[Biggles]

I've discovered there's a sweet spot in the day when I am more likely than any other to get leered at by men in the street. Usually, like today, it's in the afternoon of a weekend when I'm doing the walk of shame home in what I was wearing the night before. I think the combination of looking out of place and wearing very little is probably what does it. The quality of the leering at this time of day seems to be much better too. At night time it's usually along the lines of 'hoi *insert complimentary label*, then the word 'CUNT!' when they get ignored. During the day they can be quite witty. Probably because they're sober.

Anyway, today I got a doozie. Some scrotes in a car pulled up beside me and started making personal comments about my form, which I ignored. They then decided to get my attention by shouting 'Emmanuel Petit' to me. Took me ages to work out what they were getting at; I had to look it up when I got home. Turns out he's a fucking ex Arsenal football player. They were saying I looked like him, the little cunts!

104628

Ah well, at least he's handsome :happy:

Maybe they were disappointed you turned out to be a girlie :idunno:

[manker]

They then decided to get my attention by shouting 'Emmanuel Petit' to me.I found the comparison amusing :happy:

I don't leer as such, I'm much too refined for that kind of thing nowadays. My peers and I tend to keep our comments to ourselves until the object has moved without of earshot.

Four of us, pished up during a daytime casual binge drinking sesh, were walking toward another pub a while back and we concurrently noticed two fourteen year olds (approx), completely caked in make-up but very little else. One of which seemed to be adjusting her tits such that areolae would be visible to the casual onlooker.
Several comments raced through my mind but I wasn't sure which, if any, would be entirely appropriate given I wasn't actually on the internets at the time. I ended up saying nothing at all, and neither did the other three until one eventually uttered; 'no wonder they get raped'.

We three lol'd, moved on to the pub, got the beers in and reflected during the imbibing of that a new era of even darker humour had been born.

[megabyteme]

Why do I get the feeling you three would have been more polite to the "ladies" on the way out? :whistling

[manker]

Why do I get the feeling you three would have been more polite to the "ladies" on the way out? :whistlingWe don't actually talk to women during these mike rayers. Unless it's an 'unlucky, flowe' when you pwn a female pool player.
Can't see the point in talking to female pub-goers if you're not on the pull.
I mean, I'll talk to a girl if she comes up to me cus she knows me or w.e. but all the while, I'll be getting disapproving stares from the rest of the homos.

Or do you mean to our respective missuses on the way out of the house, like?

[megabyteme]

I mean, I'll talk to a girl if she comes up to me cus she knows me or w.e. but all the while, I'll be getting disapproving stares from the rest of the homos.

I had a feeling your other post was just being bitchy because those girls were wearing nicer dresses than you guys.

[manker]

You must have been misinformed somewhere along the line.
The approved dress-code for binge drinking in the summer is shirtless with knee length combat shorts and shiny daps.

I only get to wear dresses if the missus is late home from wurk.

[megabyteme]

Different cultures, I guess. In the US, shirtless has been outlawed due to the over-popularity of McDonalds.

[manker]

:o

US legal decision makers in progressive thinking shock.

[megabyteme]

Too many were dying of shock seeing other obese without shirts. Something had to be done.

I was opposed at first, wanting to showoff my pectoral implants, but now I'm actually in support of masks for the ugly. And minorities.

[Biggles]

You must have been misinformed somewhere along the line.
The approved dress-code for binge drinking in the summer is shirtless with knee length combat shorts, socks and crocs.

I only get to wear dresses if the missus is late home from wurk.

Fixed that

[Biggles]

Cracking weather is it not. Squeams is going to be a sweaty minx by the time this run is finished :naughty:

[manker]

Cracking weather is it not. Squeams is going to be a sweaty minx by the time this run is finished :naughty:
Well, this is the thread to leer and so far the side has been let down. Apart from mbm trying to coerce me into helping him imagine me in a frock.

Also, have you moved from Scotchland, Les.

[Biggles]

Cracking weather is it not. Squeams is going to be a sweaty minx by the time this run is finished :naughty:
Well, this is the thread to leer and so far the side has been let down. Apart from mbm trying to coerce me into helping him imagine me in a frock.

Also, have you moved from Scotchland, Les.

Not sure if thinking of you in a dress counts as leering :fear:

Imagining Squeams all hot and steamy after her run...now that is leering. Or peeking into the girls showers..that I think is also leering...not that merest speculation of a thought passed my mind in that direction.

Nope we are been indulged in the good weather too (for once). Today was the warmest March day on record in Scotlandshire. The previous high was spookily on the day I was born, not that I recall it at all at all.

[manker]

:lol:
Sir, have you been cooling yourself down with long island ice teas again.

It's been decent here too but I've been in work most of the day.
I tried early doors to get a pass for the pub, failed, and decided to seek refuge in my office in protest.

[Something Else]

I've discovered there's a sweet spot in the day when I am more likely than any other to get leered at by men in the street. Usually, like today, it's in the afternoon of a weekend when I'm doing the walk of shame home in what I was wearing the night before. I think the combination of looking out of place and wearing very little is probably what does it. The quality of the leering at this time of day seems to be much better too. At night time it's usually along the lines of 'hoi *insert complimentary label*, then the word 'CUNT!' when they get ignored. During the day they can be quite witty. Probably because they're sober.

Anyway, today I got a doozie. Some scrotes in a car pulled up beside me and started making personal comments about my form, which I ignored. They then decided to get my attention by shouting 'Emmanuel Petit' to me. Took me ages to work out what they were getting at; I had to look it up when I got home. Turns out he's a fucking ex Arsenal football player. They were saying I looked like him, the little cunts!

104628

Ah well, at least he's handsome :happy:

Petit was a cornerstone of the midfield in the most successful Arsenal team in recent years. They were probably making a reference to how vital you are.

[Squeamous]

They then decided to get my attention by shouting 'Emmanuel Petit' to me.I found the comparison amusing :happy:I don't leer as such, I'm much too refined for that kind of thing nowadays. My peers and I tend to keep our comments to ourselves until the object has moved without of earshot.Four of us, pished up during a daytime casual binge drinking sesh, were walking toward another pub a while back and we concurrently noticed two fourteen year olds (approx), completely caked in make-up but very little else. One of which seemed to be adjusting her tits such that areolae would be visible to the casual onlooker. Several comments raced through my mind but I wasn't sure which, if any, would be entirely appropriate given I wasn't actually on the internets at the time. I ended up saying nothing at all, and neither did the other three until one eventually uttered; 'no wonder they get raped'.We three lol'd, moved on to the pub, got the beers in and reflected during the imbibing of that a new era of even darker humour had been born.Dennis Waterman was in the news recently saying basically that these days women are so clever and articulate, the only way men can win an argument with them is to punch them. He said it in such a forlorn, hapless way that it totally made my day. Do you think we're broken? :ermm:
Cracking weather is it not. Squeams is going to be a sweaty minx by the time this run is finished :naughty:
Not sure if thinking of you in a dress counts as leering :fear: Imagining Squeams all hot and steamy after her run...now that is leering. Or peeking into the girls showers..that I think is also leering...not that merest speculation of a thought passed my mind in that direction.Biggles! Really! :smilie4:


Petit was a cornerstone of the midfield in the most successful Arsenal team in recent years. They were probably making a reference to how vital you are.

Thank you, that must have been it. Nothing to do with my masculine jaw and forehead you could pick up Sky Sports on :shifty:

[Biggles]

Biggles! Really! :smilie4:


I say!

What a let down :(

[Squeamous]

Biggles! Really! :smilie4:


I say!

What a let down :(

Nyawwwh, I drew you a cartoon and everything! Didn't you get it?

[Biggles]

I say!

What a let down :(



Nyawwwh, I drew you a cartoon and everything! Didn't you get it?

Ahhh! I hadn't opened all the doo dahs....no showers though :naughty:

Mulder would have approved of the sexy times position I'm mostly guessing.

[manker]

:huh: brb, opening my doo dah :naughty:



Edit: wtf did you do to my syntax, Squeams D;

[Squeamous]

Nyawwwh, I drew you a cartoon and everything! Didn't you get it?

Ahhh! I hadn't opened all the doo dahs....no showers though :naughty:

Mulder would have approved of the sexy times position I'm mostly guessing.

Ahhh, I miss dear Mulder and his constant threats of back-door smashing.


:huh: brb, opening my doo dah :naughty:



Edit: wtf did you do to my syntax, Squeams D;

Nothing :unsure:

[brotherdoobie]

:huh: brb, opening my doo dah :naughty:



Edit: wtf did you do to my syntax, Squeams D;


Pics?


-bd

[manker]

Strangely enough, I was just looking at an actual pic of myself without any clothes on. You can't see my head but it's really me (I had to prove it on here cus of besmirchers)
Bizarrely, barbie keeps it in his FST folder on this very website.

Check it out if you like. I'm much too modest to actually post it.

[manker]

Edit: wtf did you do to my syntax, Squeams D;
Nothing :unsure:
You word brick'd me :cry:

[Squeamous]

Strangely enough, I was just looking at an actual pic of myself without any clothes on. You can't see my head but it's really me (I had to prove it on here cus of besmirchers)
Bizarrely, barbie keeps it in his FST folder on this very website.

Check it out if you like. I'm much too modest to actually post it.

I want to see! Don't keep it to yourselves, queers.



You word brick'd me :cry:

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[manker]

gah!

as to the pic, look in barbie's folder

[Biggles]

Ahhh! I hadn't opened all the doo dahs....no showers though :naughty:

Mulder would have approved of the sexy times position I'm mostly guessing.

Ahhh, I miss dear Mulder and his constant threats of back-door smashing.



If we all think* about sweet loving he may just return.


Edit: * and post pics obviousment

[mjmacky]

Petit was a cornerstone of the midfield in the most successful Arsenal team in recent years. They were probably making a reference to how vital you are.

Thank you, that must have been it. Nothing to do with my masculine jaw and forehead you could pick up Sky Sports on :shifty:

How the fuck did you know that I've had a tendency to capitalize the MJM?

Also, your major error was to assume I'd speak in so much depth about a sport. Additionally, I don't recall a situation where something else was neither neutral towards nor despising me, so if you're trying to insult him I think you did a bang up job.

[mjmacky]

What footballers has everyone else been compared to?

Mine's Gerard Pique. I've never seen him play though, so I'm not sure how to take it.

[Artemis]

Oi, thats not nice! taking over Squeams fred with your football fetish, start your own.

[mjmacky]

Oi, thats not nice! taking over Squeams fred with your football fetish, start your own.

I might be autistic, but I'm pretty sure she already started it.

[Artemis]

Oi, thats not nice! taking over Squeams fred with your football fetish, start your own.

I might be autistic, but I'm pretty sure she already started it.

Well you can compare notes with Oleg then.....if he ever talks again. :idunno:

[mjmacky]

I might be autistic, but I'm pretty sure she already started it.

Well you can compare notes with Oleg then.....if he ever talks again. :idunno:

I can prove it by making my addendum to post #31 this:

"Ah well, at least he's handsome :happy:"

[Squeamous]

how the fuck did you know that i've had a tendency to capitalize the mjm?

Also, your major error was to assume i'd speak in so much depth about a sport. Additionally, i don't recall a situation where something else was neither neutral towards nor despising me, so if you're trying to insult him i think you did a bang up job.

inception

[mjmacky]

inception

So nice of you to return and comment, I was thinking you were busy with attempted conception

[Quarterquack]

inception

So nice of you to return and comment, I was thinking you were busy with attempted conception

Given the party your post is addressed to, I'd be weary of the consequences after the reception

[manker]

I srsly have no idea what Squeams means this time, *nor when she did wrote inception in big letters to me on a previous occasion.

*for Snee

[Squeamous]

I srsly have no idea what Squeams means this time, *nor when she did wrote inception in big letters to me on a previous occasion.

*for Snee

The film, Inception. It means I have committed 'inception' upon your mind: either influenced, or read, or mind ninja'd it in some way :smilie4:

[manker]

seems to obvious now, and I have seen that film, too :pinch:
she did wrote :pinch:

[Squeamous]

Manker Manker Manker, a boy came and he was howwible to us, and spelled things wrong and said some things that bemused us greatly, and you weren't here to save us :cry:

[manker]

Soz.
I got waylaid. I was giving it to some errant forumites up the arse and lost all track of time.

[Squeamous]

Soz.
I got waylaid. I was giving it to some errant forumites up the arse and lost all track of time.

Well you're here now. If you could just tell us what we have permission to post it would be much appreciated :happy:

[manker]

There are strict guidelines, as well you know.

If what you post doesn't bring any luls, then you will have to take it up the arse. If what you post contains apostrophe abuse, you will have to take it up the arse.
Grammatical errors of a less serious nature mean you're going to have to send pics of your tits to barbie and I've invented a device which will stab you in the face through your monitor if you mix up too and to.

Have fun, kids. And be safe :smilie4:

[Squeamous]

What happens if I do this :smilie4:

[manker]

Do what :whistling

[Squeamous]

:yikes:

You retracted my infraction!

[manker]

Since we're all alone now, I was thinking, after reading bloodninja earlier, that we should do some cybering.
I won't tell Les or anything.

You'll have to go first though, I'm too shy.

[Squeamous]

I just did ^

[Squeamous]

By the way, for future info, everything I say is pretty much cybering :naughty:

[manker]

You've spoiled the moment.
I was just about to pull out my best moves.

Also, I've got a PM from you that I was gonna reply to, I might as well do it here.

>you should send me a pic of it and if it's smaller than mine, I'll send back a true actual pic. If it's bigger, I'll just google for something elephantine.

[Squeamous]

Come now Manky, there's no need to get embarrassed and roll out a cheap jibe at my cawk size. You're not embarrassed that Dave, your gf, everyone on this board, and probably some of the world are watching us having filthy exhibitionist boardsex right now are you? :sneaky:

[manker]

Maybe :ermm:

I'm more of a filthy skype in the semi-darkness and then block/delete contact such that I never have to talk to her again kind of guy.

[Something Else]

Standard bloke on the internets really.

[manker]

You'd know :kiss:

[Something Else]

Hoi manker. I'm not starting a thread to say that btw. Do you, as a modulator, have the ability to post more than once in thirty seconds.
If you do, then please remove my contrasting disability. kthxbai

[manker]

I think so

[manker]

yep

[manker]

But I don't think I can remove it, it's like a admin thang, probs.
Ask barbie :smilie4:

[Something Else]

As if it's a surprise. That's why you took the post, Shirley. :eyebrows:

[Snee]

You'd know :kiss:
Fuck's sake. I nearly posted that, then thought it wrong for reasons.

[manker]

As if it's a surprise. That's why you took the post, Shirley. :eyebrows:

:o

[manker]

are you trying to say I post a lot or something else

[manker]

some people :snooty:

[manker]

You'd know :kiss:
Fuck's sake. I nearly posted that, then thought it wrong for reasons.
What do you mean, thought it for wrong reasons.
Ben's the gaylord. You're just thinking about him being gay.

Oh.

I see :mellow:

[Something Else]

One of my friends is a gay lord. True story.

[Snee]

Exactly.

:mellow:

And what will missus ben say, now you've dragged him out of the clossette :o

[manker]

One of my friends is a gay lord. True story.
That doesn't surprise me at all.

You're the poshest internets person I've ever spoken to.
Except for Cheese.

[manker]

Exactly.

:mellow:

And what will missus ben say, now you've dragged him out of the clossette :oI imagine she'll see it as a coming together of all her recent thoughts and suspicions about his particularly unlikely friendship with AllenS.

[Snee]

cheese = posh = :glag: :earl:

[manker]

It's really odd how Cheese is posh.
He's from Newcastle, which is notoriously full of Geordies. He lives in Plymouth, which is notoriously full of Janners. He dresses exclusively in t-shirts he bought from the internet with liek spaceships or cartoons or maddox on them and he was a student who worked in the Spar up until fairly recently.

It's a recipie for chav :ermm:

[Snee]

I like his fashionz, tho :smilie4:

[manker]

w.e, Gok Wan :ghey:

[manker]

It's funny cus Gok Wan is a real Japanian
(incase you were unaware of him as an entity)

[Snee]

I would have guessed korean, but I gewgled and it says chinese.

And anyways, I'm more liek dave from proatcooking. Complete with the amazing way with the ladies.

[manker]

Chinese with an appreciation for contemporary fashion. My word.

To my eternal detriment, I have no idea what proatcooking is.

[Snee]

:o


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2HQ-G2huRQ

[manker]

seven minutes :mellow:

He sure likes handling those vegetables in the intro. Possibly too much. I'm writing this and I think I'm missing something obvious.
But a funny part just happened so it's all good. Plus the chick is hawt - she seems to have a squeamous jaw but that doesn't detract from the overall 'would' factor.

[manker]

The bit at 6:55 :glag:

[Snee]

ewe rodder ewe.

[manker]

How.


Edit: 6:55 was an estimate after I watched it, was prolly more like 6:48 if that's what you mean :unsure:

[Snee]

oh. I thought you were trying to make me look at nothing. And it worked.

[Squeamous]

As if it's a surprise. That's why you took the post, Shirley. :eyebrows::o
are you trying to say I post a lot or something else
some people :snooty:

Fuck's sake. I nearly posted that, then thought it wrong for reasons.What do you mean, thought it for wrong reasons.Ben's the gaylord. You're just thinking about him being gay.Oh.I see :mellow:FFS! No wonder your gf breaks your car and watches shite TV. When you're out of the house or avoiding her it's the only time she can get a rest from your interminable prattling :pinch:

[manker]

If I ever suspect she is feeling particularly non-plussed about the whole interminable prattling thing, I just take a screen-shot of my post count and send it to her phone.

Insta-respect, yo :smilie4: