The *unofficial* what happened to Mary thread

[Artemis]

Post your suggestions here:

Personally I think he was caught trying to chloroform a 'playmate' by said playmate's Dad, a long distance trucker who arrived unexpectedly.
Mary is now trussed up in the refrigerated trailer of his semi, while he plans what to do with the body parts when he's finished. :blink:

[Quarterquack]

Knowing Mary through his real life stories, he's probably caught up in an underground courier service theft cartel. They figured out his chemical expertise, and are having him develop reagents to detect chemically rigged packages before the heist occurs.

[manker]

Dave got to her.
Those posts on her blog made Mary think deeply about how her words affect the lives of the readers.

She just couldn't cope with the notion that there are literally thousands of mentals out there, all formed by her virtual hand.

If you require a cinematic analogy, and this does seem popular of late, think of Mary as Angel and Dave as Cordelia Chase.
Angelus has just gone on a rape and murder rampage through the streets of L.A. when suddenly he is captured by Miss Chase in some form of convoluted magic paint on the ceiling of an abandoned church and his soul forced back into him.
A gigantic wave of conscience suddenly overcomes Angel, leaving him blood-stained and prone upon the stone vestuble floor. Unable to move or feed, there he remains until his friends come to take care of him once again.

That's why I'm worried. His only friends live inside his computer and I can't devise a method to Weird Science my way out D;

[teflon05]

That's why I'm worried. His only friends live inside his computer and I can't devise a method to Weird Science my way out D;

I think that would involve him devising a weird chant, hooking up a car battery to a Barbie Doll, & wearing your underwear on his head.

[manker]

That's why I'm worried. His only friends live inside his computer and I can't devise a method to Weird Science my way out D;

I think that would involve him devising a weird chant, hooking up a car battery to a Barbie Doll, & wearing your underwear on his head.My underwear would be no problem as I send my used yellow boxers directly to chez Mary on a monthly basis, but I'm pretty sure that Weird Science canon dictates that it must be his mother's underwear.

And he's sent all that to Funkin' in exchange for torrent invites.

[megabyteme]

I think this whole thread is a ruse perpetrated by Artois who knows exactly where Mary is, as they ate a wallaby together tonight after a long tapir ride off to a remote location just on the far side of the hills surrounding Art's ranch.

You aren't fooling me, Art/Mary.

[chalice]

Art and Mary are, in fact, one and the same.

This thread is the twisted machinations of the criminal architect, the Napoleon of Grime, arch-adversary to The Great Defective Spurlock Holmes. Wait for it...

Maryarty

I know, I know. :no:

[mjmacky]

Oh fuck me, I was away for like 2 days, and I spent the next 2 days avoiding the FST mining operation (it seemed too daunting). Correcting tense, it is daunting. I even forgot about the magnum blog, and I didn't know it was going to start auto approving comments, looks like I have to go and tweak it. I get an ever so slight suspicion that when I tampered with his comments on a previous occasion, it bugged him just a little bit.

[mjmacky]

Art and Mary are, in fact, one and the same.

This thread is the twisted machinations of the criminal architect, the Napoleon of Grime, arch-adversary to The Great Defective Spurlock Holmes. Wait for it...

Maryarty

I know, I know. :no:

Before he was a professor, he was just post-doc Moriarty, nemesis of affordable wages.

[IdolEyes787]

Art and Mary are, in fact, one and the same.

This thread is the twisted machinations of the criminal architect, the Napoleon of Grime, arch-adversary to The Great Defective Spurlock Holmes. Wait for it...

Maryarty

I know, I know. :no:

That fits together all too perfectly to have been made up. Seems the game's now afoot.

[somesexual]

afoot it was in plain english

[Artemis]

afoot it was in plain english

His full username is bent over for something sexual.

[manker]

FFS, Arty goes to all the trouble of making a thread, I lovingly created a plausible scenario replete with allusion which I had intended to flesh out with lurid details of underwear stains, chavois and Idol seem to have employed several non-English speaking Vietnamese realtors to formulate wordplay vis a vis the Doyle theme lovingly crafted by mbm ... and Mary comes back.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v31/samsamsamsam/bigdabses5.gif

[Squeamous]

FFS, Arty goes to all the trouble of making a thread, I lovingly created a plausible scenario replete with allusion which I had intended to flesh out with lurid details of underwear stains, chavois and Idol seem to have employed several non-English speaking Vietnamese realtors to formulate wordplay vis a vis the Doyle theme lovingly crafted by mbm ... and Mary comes back.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v31/samsamsamsam/bigdabses5.gif

You girls spend too much time complaining that you're under appreciated. It's like your menstrual cycles have synchronised. Stop bleeding all over the lounge or I'll start slipping Feverfew into your tea.

[manker]

Yeah but she could have at least waited until I'd danced around my metaphor for a while longer.
It was going to be good :cry:

wtf is feverfew btw

[Artemis]

I was looking forward to a few pages meself.... :dabs:

[megabyteme]

The reappearance of Mary ties in all too perfectly to NOT lend plausibility ABSOLUTE FACT that we have outed one of the Lounge's masterminds.

made-up FACTS:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

I did not actually have time to come up with any, but the mere FACT that I placed 5 line items is a GREAT indicator of the STRONG evidence against this individual.

I know my mind is made up. Due to the ABUNDANT evidence.

Guilty.

[manker]

The reappearance of Mary ties in all too perfectly to NOT lend plausibility ABSOLUTE FACT that we have outed one of the Lounge's masterminds.

made-up FACTS:

1. Mary writes the letter a like this: 2
:o
2. Dave can't distinguish to and too
:eyebrows:
3. Mary leaves the internets for 2 days
:o
4. Dave moved house due to the Great Irish Threat and the average reconnection time for internets is 2 days.
:eyebrows:
5. MARY and DAVE are a COUPLE
:o :eyebrows:

I outsourced the FACTS to a REAL ACCOUNTANT, but the mere FACT that I placed 5 line items is a GREAT indicator of the STRONG evidence against this individual.

I know my mind is made up. Due to the ABUNDANT evidence.

Guilty.

wurd.

[Something Else]

Art and Mary are, in fact, one and the same.

This thread is the twisted machinations of the criminal architect, the Napoleon of Grime, arch-adversary to The Great Defective Spurlock Holmes. Wait for it...

Maryarty

I know, I know. :no:

That was a quality post. A quality post indeed.

[chalice]

Art and Mary are, in fact, one and the same.

This thread is the twisted machinations of the criminal architect, the Napoleon of Grime, arch-adversary to The Great Defective Spurlock Holmes. Wait for it...

Maryarty

I know, I know. :no:

That was a quality post. A quality post indeed.

I'm a little bit ashamed of it, to be honest, hotshot.

I was pre-caffinated and I didn't think it through. Clearly it should've been 'Airlock Holmes'.

[megabyteme]

I outsourced the FACTS to a REAL ACCOUNTANT.
I know my mind is made up. Due to the ABUNDANT evidence.

Guilty.

wurd.

I didn't even know one could outsource to a first-world (Wales is like 1st and a half, but who's counting here) country. :O

I'm thinking FAR better evidence than google translate could have offered. Well done, my esteemed colleague!

[Snee]

'Airlock Holmes'.

Now, that I like. A lot.

[mjmacky]

Yeah but she could have at least waited until I'd danced around my metaphor for a while longer.
It was going to be good :cry:

wtf is feverfew btw

I'm sorry for coming back, but you see stunting the growth of something beautiful is a talent of mine. Abortion accomplished.

[Squeamous]

Yeah but she could have at least waited until I'd danced around my metaphor for a while longer.
It was going to be good :cry:

wtf is feverfew btw

Herbal relief from 'women's problems' apparently

[manker]

There's a herb that makes you guise drive properly and stop watching reality tv.
This is news :smilie4:

[Squeamous]

There's a herb that makes you guise drive properly and stop watching reality tv.
This is news :smilie4:

To be fair, they're more your problems than ours :happy:

[manker]

Frequent and expensive visits to the bodyshop and mind-numbing hours sat thro' my big fat gyspy wedding.

hmmz.
You're not wrong :mellow:

[Squeamous]

Frequent and expensive visits to the bodyshop and mind-numbing hours sat thro' my big fat gyspy wedding.

hmmz.
You're not wrong :mellow:

WTF? I used to go to the Bodyshop when I was 15. Now I'm a big girl I use l'Occitane......it's more expensive but it makes you smell like the inside of Aphrodite's thigh rather than a teenager's hair scrunchy /toiletriessnob
Also I would never watch anything about Gypsy weddings, because I spend all my free TV time watching Take Me Out.

[manker]

I mean like the body-shop to get the dents out of my car 'cus of the bad driving.

wimin :schnauz:
i'm wondering if you actually knew that and it was clever roddery on your part.

[Squeamous]

:glag:

Unaware of this I was.

[megabyteme]

I mean like the body-shop to get the dents out of my car 'cus of the bad driving.

wimin :schnauz:
i'm wondering if you actually knew that and it was clever roddery on your part.

Gus' Auto Restoration, and Paint Works- We make you smell like Aphrodite's thigh rather than a teenager's hair scrunchy

Marketing genious!

[Squeamous]

:happy:

[mjmacky]

I'm glad we have a new marker for the distinction between men and women. I'm also upset about this. Also, confused.

Don't mind any of that. I was trying to recall what squeams was talking about, and there were places called Body Shop in the malls, where you'd buy cheap trinkets, lotions and smelly bottles for girls. Is this what you meant, or are stores like that called "body shops" in general?

[manker]

There's a chain called The Body Shop, which is as you subscribe and was famously pioneered by Anita Roddick, a bleeding heart liberal like Idol.
I haven't seen one for a while, maybe they died with her.

I know it's not what you said but I'd buy a smelly bottle of girl. It would be applied to the accompanying gift of fresh underwear and perhaps a soft pokemon toy by its recipient who I envisage being a World of Warcraft playing furfag. Or me.

[Squeamous]

They're still about, but Anita got bought out by L'Oreal and the chain lost some of their standing in the ethical purchasing community. Now they're just a high-end Superdrug (expl. can be provided on request).

[manker]

the chain lost some of their standing in the ethical purchasing communityShe should have asked herself was it worth it.

[Squeamous]

the chain lost some of their standing in the ethical purchasing communityshe should have asked herself was it worth it.

BOOM!

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout

[megabyteme]

And that buys and girls, is how liberals become republicans. :(

[mjmacky]

I thought you're either born Republican or autojoin when you turn 55???

[manker]

And that buys and girls, is how liberals become republicans. :(merkins don't l'oreal?

105473

[mjmacky]

And that buys and girls, is how liberals become republicans. :(merkins don't l'oreal?

http://static.stuff.co.nz/1233108507/226/698226.jpg

I don't understand the question, could it be rephrased?

[manker]

Do Americans, as a people, use L'Oreal products to a sufficient extent to be aware of their tagline as depicted in the following pic, which I've put in spoiler tags because of the poor grammar and copiously sized and aesthetically unfriendly New Zealander depicted thereon?

[megabyteme]

And that buys and girls, is how liberals become republicans. :(merkins don't l'oreal?

105473

Yes, it's a well-known brand. My comment was in regards to the owner selling out to a corporation that goes against all previously expressed beliefs. $XX Million because I'm worth it...

[manker]

Ahh, I see.
Well Ms. Roddick did die shortly after the transaction so everything turned out okay.

[megabyteme]

Ahh, I see.
Well Ms. Roddick did die shortly after the transaction so everything turned out okay.

I can only hope she was attacked and eaten alive by angry revenge-seeking animals who had been tested on.

[manker]

Ahh, I see.
Well Ms. Roddick did die shortly after the transaction so everything turned out okay.

I can only hope she was attacked and eaten alive by angry revenge-seeking animals who had been tested on.You just made me think of a naked Squeams getting slowly nibbled to death by mice :pinch:


:naughty:

[mjmacky]

Do Americans, as a people, use L'Oreal products to a sufficient extent to be aware of their tagline as depicted in the following pic, which I've put in spoiler tags because of the poor grammar and copiously sized and aesthetically unfriendly New Zealander depicted thereon?

I know they used to have booths up in the malls and such, but did not know their slogan.

[Squeamous]

I can only hope she was attacked and eaten alive by angry revenge-seeking animals who had been tested on.You just made me think of a naked Squeams getting slowly nibbled to death by mice :pinch:


:naughty:

:no:



:naughty:

[manker]

Do Americans, as a people, use L'Oreal products to a sufficient extent to be aware of their tagline as depicted in the following pic, which I've put in spoiler tags because of the poor grammar and copiously sized and aesthetically unfriendly New Zealander depicted thereon?

I know they used to have booths up in the malls and such, but did not know their slogan.I have seen your hairstyle <sic> in that pic so the lack of depth regarding your knowledge in this area doesn't come as a complete shock.

I'm not saying that this is a bad thing. A lack of appreciation and effort in this area is often thought of as a manly and desirable trait by many (mostly Mexican) women.

[Biggles]

You just made me think of a naked Squeams getting slowly nibbled to death by mice :pinch:


:naughty:

:no:



:naughty:

That is wrong on so many levels

[manker]

Both hands on the keyboard, Les :naughty:

[mjmacky]

I know they used to have booths up in the malls and such, but did not know their slogan.I have seen your hairstyle <sic> in that pic so the lack of depth regarding your knowledge in this area doesn't come as a complete shock.

I'm not saying that this is a bad thing. A lack of appreciation and effort in this area is often thought of as a manly and desirable trait by many (mostly Mexican) women.

Just when all hope was lost, you told me I could bag a Mexican. You give me the strength to go on.

[manker]

It's just the kind of guy I am.

I know it's been hard for you since you lost your faith. It's fine, I'm here now.
Your ethereal inspiration.

[Artemis]

It's just the kind of guy I am.

I know it's been hard for you since you lost your faith. It's fine, I'm here now.
Your ethereal inspiration.

So you're a fart now :blink:

[mjmacky]

It's just the kind of guy I am.

I know it's been hard for you since you lost your faith. It's fine, I'm here now.
Your ethereal inspiration.

So you're a fart now :blink:

You find inspiration in relief?

[Squeamous]

Each to their own Macky :unsure:

[manker]

Each to their own Macky :unsure:
kindofa non-secateaureous post but I wonder what we'd all do if that happened.
If I had my own Mary, I think I'd dress her up in men's clothes and force her to come out with me and my mates of a Sunday afternoon. Mary would then quietly study the various fruit machines and inform me of the optimum time to chuck a squid in.

My peers would be impressed with my foresight and want to borrow her; I'd be rich, popular and drunk :smilie4:

[mjmacky]

May be a cultural divide, but quickly define "fruit machine".

[manker]

Diddler.

[manker]

totes italicised the wrong word, there :pinch:

[mjmacky]

I don't even know why you even needed to include the word in the first place you diddler.

[Squeamous]

Each to their own Macky :unsure:
kindofa non-secateaureous post but I wonder what we'd all do if that happened.
If I had my own Mary, I think I'd dress her up in men's clothes and force her to come out with me and my mates of a Sunday afternoon. Mary would then quietly study the various fruit machines and inform me of the optimum time to chuck a squid in.

My peers would be impressed with my foresight and want to borrow her; I'd be rich, popular and drunk :smilie4:

That would be an extremely 'fruitful' use of a Mary.

If I had my own Mary I would let her do my job for the day so I could go to the park or perhaps have dirty sex behind a skip. When I came back all my colleagues would be grateful for my presence and give me the approval and respect I deserve :yup:

[mjmacky]

You realize that your Marys are non-refundable, you'd need to go beyond a day's novelty act to justify the expenditure.

[mjmacky]

Not to mention, what did you all think was going to happen when you left them unsupervised?

[Squeamous]

I thought mine would basically know what to do and hit the ground running :unsure:
I gave you too much credit didn't I?

[mjmacky]

I thought mine would basically know what to do and hit the ground running :unsure:
I gave you too much credit didn't I?

The location was key, perhaps you're underestimating. Don't tell me you're locking them up in the shed outside.

[Squeamous]

The location was key, perhaps you're underestimating. Don't tell me you're locking them up in the shed outside.

You're asking me to give this way more thought than I'm capable of. I'm just concentrating on breathing and typing right now.

[mjmacky]

The location was key, perhaps you're underestimating. Don't tell me you're locking them up in the shed outside.

You're asking me to give this way more thought than I'm capable of. I'm just concentrating on breathing and typing right now.

I was going to buy you one of these, but I guess that's out of the question.

http://www.wellpromo.com/upload/upimg43/24--Inflatable-Keyboard-129943.jpg (http://www.wellpromo.com/wholesale-Logo-imprinted/Inflatables_4.htm)

[Squeamous]

You're asking me to give this way more thought than I'm capable of. I'm just concentrating on breathing and typing right now.

I was going to buy you one of these, but I guess that's out of the question.

[/URL][URL]http://www.wellpromo.com/upload/upimg43/24--Inflatable-Keyboard-129943.jpg (http://www.wellpromo.com/wholesale-Logo-imprinted/Inflatables_4.htm)

106507

[mjmacky]

I was going to buy you one of these, but I guess that's out of the question.

[/URL][URL]http://www.wellpromo.com/upload/upimg43/24--Inflatable-Keyboard-129943.jpg (http://www.wellpromo.com/wholesale-Logo-imprinted/Inflatables_4.htm)

106507

"Inflatable keyboard", come on now, you're just doing this on purpose.

[Squeamous]

106507

"Inflatable keyboard", come on now, you're just doing this on purpose.
I'm really not :glag:

I have no idea what you're talkin' 'bout Willis.

[CharlesW]

Yaay! 5 posts.

[mjmacky]

"Inflatable keyboard", come on now, you're just doing this on purpose.
I'm really not :glag:

I have no idea what you're talkin' 'bout Willis.

106511

[Squeamous]

Pensive Willis is pensive :smilie4: