Damn it, I so wanna have sex with a beautiful woman now

[OlegL]

I so wanna have sex with a beautiful woman now. It's so depressing knowing that other people can get laid, but I can't. And I really don't want a prostitute. It's an unresolvable problem for me.
I want a beautiful woman.

[megabyteme]

I so wanna have sex with a beautiful woman now. It's so depressing knowing that other people can get laid, but I can't. And I really don't want a prostitute. It's an unresolvable problem for me.
I want a beautiful woman.

You just couldn't roam the halls without having the wheel removed from your chair, could you? :pinch:

[Something Else]

You could try starting with a very ugly woman, and work your way up. :smilie4:

[Disme]

I was just listening to this when I read your post:

Texas - The Greatest Hits (2004) [FLAC]\Disc 1of2\13 - Prayer For You.flac !!!

Coincidence ... I don't think so ... I think you're gonna score tonight!

[enoughfakefiles]

I so wanna have sex with a beautiful woman now. It's so depressing knowing that other people can get laid, but I can't. And I really don't want a prostitute. It's an unresolvable problem for me.
I want a beautiful woman.

The saying 'a dead bird never leaves it's nest' spring to mind when I read this post.

[Snee]

So that's Oleg back to his old, abnormal self, then.



I so wanna have sex with a beautiful woman now. It's so depressing knowing that other people can get laid, but I can't. And I really don't want a prostitute. It's an unresolvable problem for me.
I want a beautiful woman.

The saying 'a dead bird never leaves it's nest' spring to mind when I read this post.

Well. He never said he had anything against necrophilia, so that's a good tip.

[manker]

:lol: ^


I was just listening to this when I read your post:

Texas - The Greatest Hits (2004) [FLAC]\Disc 1of2\13 - Prayer For You.flac !!!

Coincidence ... I don't think so ... I think you're gonna score tonight!I'm sure your well wishes are meant with teh love but from what I can gather from reading their PMs with secret mod powerz, this whole thread is a ruse by Oleg to make mbm jealous because he won't Skype with him any more.

[Artemis]

I was just listening to this when I read your post:

Texas - The Greatest Hits (2004) [FLAC]\Disc 1of2\13 - Prayer For You.flac !!!

Coincidence ... I don't think so ... I think you're gonna score tonight!

Disme, the flac audio track you were listening to, it wasn't perchance from pedro's by any chance was it? :blink:

[IdolEyes787]

Ffs here's a picture of what'shername's ass that was posted on the internet today.

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Now pretend that you are married and go masturbate.

[Artemis]

So that's Oleg back to his old, abnormal self, then.




The saying 'a dead bird never leaves it's nest' spring to mind when I read this post.

Well. He never said he had anything against necrophilia, so that's a good tip.

Meg has previously given Oleg some REALLY helpful advice about working his way up to good looking girls by dating the disadvantaged first (who knows they might even be grateful) but no, Oleg wants to start with the top shelf, whereas the way Meg put it someone shoved Oleg off the top shelf and he fell along way (from the skype conversations), so a beautiful woman is a bit of an unreasonable expectation without a large financial contribution. :blink:

[Disme]

I was just listening to this when I read your post:

Texas - The Greatest Hits (2004) [FLAC]\Disc 1of2\13 - Prayer For You.flac !!!

Coincidence ... I don't think so ... I think you're gonna score tonight!

Disme, the flac audio track you were listening to, it wasn't perchance from pedro's by any chance was it? :blink:

Off course Art, what other l33t tracker would satisfy my FLAC-needs.

"Wham! - The Best Of Wham! (1997) [FLAC]/10 - Young Guns (Go For It).flac" is playing right now, and soon I'll get to "Last Christmas" ... it's a time for miracles Art, miracles I tell you ...

[manker]

protip; don't wank for three days and even the cleaner starts to look kinda hawt. Wait a week and the 'beautiful' criteria will be much less of a hurdle.

[OlegL]

Life is beyond confusing.

[mjmacky]

We've done this before Oleg, you never took any of my previous advice so I'm no longer going to help you score. At least head out to a strip club once in your life.

[megabyteme]

For those curious, Oleg looks kinda like this, but with a Jewish nose...

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[Adster]

Can't you ring adult services? 1 call away will get you that hawt rooting

[manker]

Oleg, post a real and actual pic of yourself. Post also your preferences for hair colour, age and intellect.
I'll see if I can hook you up with one of the girls on my Skype list.

It's not actual sex but in many ways it's better.

[OlegL]

Are you being serious? You will really try to hook me up with someone on your skype list if I post my pictures?

[manker]

Are you being serious? You will really try to hook me up with someone on your skype list if I post my pictures?Yeah why not.
Girls who don't know me as manker on this board are out, obviously, I can't just let you in to my clandestine internets life like that.

It would have to be a girl from here and luckily I know a couple who might just fit the bill.
In fact I'm surprised Squeams hasn't PM'd you solicitous advances already.

[megabyteme]

Are you being serious? You will really try to hook me up with someone on your skype list if I post my pictures?Yeah why not.

:pimp:

[OlegL]

It would have to be a girl from here and luckily I know a couple who might just fit the bill.
In fact I'm surprised Squeams hasn't PM'd you solicitous advances already.

First of all, even if I start chatting with some pretty women on skype, it doesn't mean they will agree to meet me and have sex with me. Secondly, you mentioned Squeams and as far as I know, she doesn't live in the U.S. Doesn't she live in England? I won't fly to England just to meet with her and I doubt she will agree to fly to the U.S. Look, I really want to get laid and I really don't want that person to be a prostitute, so I don't know what I should tell the person who happens to be someone you know and a member of this board, who's also attractive, and who lives not far from me.

[manker]

Well fuck you if you think Squeams is a prostitute. Second of all, I meant just have a wank while looking at their tits like any normal person does of an evening.

[OlegL]

I never said anything insulting about Squeams, and I never called her a prostitute. I am sure she's a great person.

[megabyteme]

I never said anything insulting about Squeams [] I am sure she's a great person.

I`ve heard otherwise about her... :fear:

[LJames6]

I never said anything insulting about Squeams [] I am sure she's a great person.

I`ve heard otherwise about her... :fear:

what have u heard?????

[Artemis]

She does horrible things to small furry animals. :yikes:

[mjmacky]

Oleg, when you come across a pretty girl that is actually agreeing to have sex with you, I want you to know that I paid her to do it. Just for reference.

[Saborsoul]

Dreaming won't get it done son

You live in one of the greatest cities in the world. Find a swingers club. Take a bath, Don't Be Creepy
Walk up to the girl at the bar, sit down order a drink, she has to be smoking hot! Now turn to her and say.....
"Aren't you glad I didn't use a pick up line?" Let's get the hell outta before I change my mind."
Works Almost every time!

[Barbarossa]

I never said anything insulting about Squeams, and I never called her a prostitute. I am sure she's a great person.

Dude, they ALWAYS make you pay in some way shape or form. Prostitution is probably the most honest way of looking at it.. :sage:

EDIT: Also, you DID call squeams a prostitute, at least that's how I read it too...

[manker]

So did you :lol:

[Barbarossa]

So I did :P

[Squeamous]

I've often considered charging, but isn't charging someone for the pleasure of being raped a bit cheeky?

[manker]

nah, getting paid for your hobby is like the pinnacle of the human experience or something else.

[Squeamous]

That's an interesting way to view OlegL :pinch:

I need to get to know someone before I can have sex with them otherwise I just can't relax and I'll be really shy and timid.
Cockpix please Oleg!

[ckrit]

That's an interesting way to view OlegL :pinch:
Yes.

I expect he's a veritable iron curtain between the land of the professionals, and the enthusiastic amateurs of the field :mellow:

[manker]

:lol:

Also, can you write manker on the shaft for verification porpoises.
It would do you no credit at all and might result in sex not being had if you posted someone else's cawk.

protip; if you think your cock won't stand up to scrutiny and will look kind of tiny in comparison with some of the gigantic ones Squeams has put inside of her lady garden, get someone with extremely small hands to hold it while you take the pic :smilie4:

[manker]

I didn't notice ckrit had posted before me there, so my post obviously applies to Oleg and not ckrit. Which was kindof obvious as due to past Skype dealings I know that he could only fit mank before space becomes an issue.

[Squeamous]

Yes.

I expect he's a veritable iron curtain between the land of the professionals, and the enthusiastic amateurs of the field :mellow:

I reckon he's a total horn dog! Mentals always are.


:lol:

Also, can you write manker on the shaft for verification porpoises.
It would do you no credit at all and might result in sex not being had if you posted someone else's cawk.

protip; if you think your cock won't stand up to scrutiny and will look kind of tiny in comparison with some of the gigantic ones Squeams has put inside of her lady garden, get someone with extremely small hands to hold it while you take the pic :smilie4:

:smilie4:

I had one as small as 5 inches once. 5 inches, honestly, it barely scratched my tongue stud :dry:
If it's really small don't bother Oleg, it'll be like kicking a tin can down an alley.

[Squeamous]

When I say don't bother if it's less than 5 inches, I mean for a meaningless encounter. Obviously I'm prepared to put up with it if I care about a guy and his wallet is really big :happy:

[megabyteme]

When I say don't bother if it's less than 5 inches, I mean for a meaningless encounter. Obviously I'm prepared to put up with it if I care about a guy and his wallet is really big :happy:
:dave:

[megabyteme]

get someone with extremely small hands to hold it while you take the pic :smilie4:

Mary can hook you up with some of her resources.

[Squeamous]

When I say don't bother if it's less than 5 inches, I mean for a meaningless encounter. Obviously I'm prepared to put up with it if I care about a guy and his wallet is really big :happy:
:dave:

Oh that was never an issue there :smilie4:

[megabyteme]

:dave:

Oh that was never an issue there :smilie4:
Sorry to hear he`s poor, too.

[manker]

get someone with extremely small hands to hold it while you take the pic :smilie4:

Mary can hook you up with some of her resources.
I was hoping someone would broach the subject. I didn't like to ask Mary directly - she can be so possessive about her tiny acolytes.

[manker]

When I say don't bother if it's less than 5 inches, I mean for a meaningless encounter. Obviously I'm prepared to put up with it if I care about a guy and his wallet is really big :happy:Perhaps you could have suitors fashion a nest out of £50 notes and carefully place their cawk upon that just prior to taking the pic.


Oleg, this stuff I'm giving you is pure gold. You can't fail.

[megabyteme]

Mary can hook you up with some of her resources.
I was hoping someone would broach the subject. I didn't like to ask Mary directly - she can be so possessive about her tiny acolytes.

She may be more willing to simply part with a hand from one he got tired of.

[Snee]

I reckon he's a total horn dog! Mentals always are.


Oh that was never an issue there :smilie4:
Hah that'll teach :dave: for saying you're so harsh. High praise, to the max.

[mjmacky]

protip; if you think your cock won't stand up to scrutiny and will look kind of tiny in comparison with some of the gigantic ones Squeams has put inside of her lady garden, get someone with extremely small hands to hold it while you take the pic :smilie4:

Children aren't camera shy after all.

[mjmacky]

Oh that was never an issue there :smilie4:
Hah that'll teach :dave: for saying you're so harsh. High praise, to the max.

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[Squeamous]

:glag: