I think I just end up getting trolled on dating sites

[megabyteme]

BTW, I miss Squeams. :(

[mjmacky]

Mary 8; Young, full-of-herself, waste of a night out 0.

If only enough others took the time to kick chicks like this in the chops, the world might be a better place. Thank you for your public service (and the chuckles), Mary. :happy:

You see why I'm posting them here, I sometimes can't tell the difference between the sites.

[mjmacky]

BTW, I miss Squeams. :(

Fuck THAT woman for never bringing round her forehead anymore. I am still upset with this forum and yet I'll make an appearance. Oh yeah, and fuck gay pants too.

That's not harsh, they'll never read it.

[megabyteme]

Mary 8; Young, full-of-herself, waste of a night out 0.

If only enough others took the time to kick chicks like this in the chops, the world might be a better place. Thank you for your public service (and the chuckles), Mary. :happy:

You see why I'm posting them here, I sometimes can't tell the difference between the sites.

I was thinking BitWhorent section. She was just lookin' for an invite...

[IdolEyes787]

Hi.:)

[mjmacky]

Hi.:)

Look, Meg, I've already got a sex invite.

[megabyteme]

Hi.:)

Look, Meg, I've already got a sex invite.

He's been known to randomly invite strangers in public restrooms, too. Personally, I think he's a disease security risk. :fear:

[IdolEyes787]

Hi.:)

Look, Meg, I've already got a sex invite.

What can I tell you, I like me the borderline psychos who are entirely full of themselves. :)

[mjmacky]

Look, Meg, I've already got a sex invite.

What can I tell you, I like me the borderline psychos who are entirely full of themselves. :)

And your sharing personality beckons you to also be full of me.

[chalice]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVwo9IQMWM0

[Vestibule]

Nice C... did you throw that in because she's Canadian? ( Even Canadians don't appreciate her ) It's a great song otherwise... just saying...

[TheFoX]

Out of curiosity, how many FST members have committed suicide since this place opened? With the amount of bullying going on, I am surprised that more names haven't disappeared.

[Artemis]

Out of curiosity, how many FST members have committed suicide since this place opened? With the amount of bullying going on, I am surprised that more names haven't disappeared.

While on a related topic, I personally would like to know how many death threats have actually become a reality? :yup:

[anon]

At least one, if we are to believe Dave's latest dupe account.

[Artemis]

At least one, if we are to believe Dave's latest dupe account.

In that one single case, it would have been nicer if Foxy's premise of bullying had come to pass, and psychoboi :dave: offed himself.

[TheFoX]

That's the whole point, though, isn't it. OlegL asks for it, and we offer it, yet he is still here. Technically, there are potentially thousands of bullies within the ranks of FST, all telling OlegL what a tw@ he is, yet he hasn't topped himself, nor is he likely to, even though our actions towards him are detrimental to his mental health.

Mind you, you could hardly call us trolls.

[chalice]

Sup interncunts. What you are about to read is true and relevant to the thread title. I don't often make it two for two.

Thrust headlong into singledom, this time (it seemed) for real, it took me quite a time to gather my bearings, what little she'd left of them. My mind was a screaming child. Inconsolable, irrational and *not very much fun to be around. I did too many things at once. One of the things I did was join a dating site, somewhat spurred by mary's clutter of disasters, knowing at least I'm not him.

So, I permitted my image to be displayed to womankind. And I sat and I waited. In filtered the munters. The many-angled troglodytes which squat and feed in shadows. Eyes in unnatural positions, mouths like Guernica. Altogether terrible to behold. Text speak. Almost worse than the spoken drawl. Or hideous vernacular, spellchecked by her fourteen year old. Then come bubbling up a message from my first love. Saw my gawping gob on the internets. Been thinking about me since we were sixteen. Some twenty-three years hence. Sharp intake of breath. Wants to meet me.

Some context should be laid down here. I'll keep it snappy, though I could write a book.

Maria and I were sixteen. Thought it was love. Took her hymen on my single bed. Messy. Several weeks later went to a mate's 18th birthday party. She got pissed and kissed some random in the house. I told her to fuck off. Next thing I'm thrust into this bedroom and she's all like discarding garments and sounding all pished and stupid. I'm like hating her despite her nakedness. Next thing you know, and this is a true fucking story, her mother walked into that bedroom. She was naked and her mother was like a fucking demon. I immediately recognised the futility of my presence and promptly shot out into the night for quite a distance. I could hear the slaps and screams in my wake. It was terrible. Her mother cursed my very bones down into hell with all her mother's wrath. Fuck, she hated my guts to the max. And it wasn't even my fucking fault. That was twenty three years ago.

Flash the fuck forward fifteen years. I'm prolly sitting wopped watching the news. Who's on the news? Maria is on the news. Why is Maria on the news? Maria's mum has been fucking murdered all over the place to the max. Bludgeoned to death by her fancy man, who instantly goes on the run for a week and hands himself into a priest, saying it was Satan wot told him to do it. But that's not what's so interesting about Maria. Maria is now weighing in at thirty stone plus. The cameramen were tripping over each other to get her in shot. Jaysus, says I, lay off the pizza, Maria. Also, that's what you get for hating me. Death at the hands of an idiot.

So, I went for a date with her a couple of weeks ago. I am ashamed to say that I was actually embarrassed to be seen with her. We caught up, we went back to my place. We sat until six in the morning without me making a move towards her straining borders. The girl defies physics. I've tried to deflate her gently but she just insists that all she wants to do is suck my cawk. I'm not willing to bear the expense of that blowjob. Women always say that. Next thing you know, they want a plug changing.

[IdolEyes787]

Sorry to here that's what you've been up to and aren't dead like I thought.

[Snee]

Flash the fuck forward fifteen years. I'm prolly sitting wopped watching the news. Who's on the news? Maria is on the news. Why is Maria on the news? Maria's mum has been fucking murdered all over the place to the max. Bludgeoned to death by her fancy man, who instantly goes on the run for a week and hands himself into a priest, saying it was Satan wot told him to do it. But that's not what's so interesting about Maria. Maria is now weighing in at thirty stone plus. The cameramen were tripping over each other to get her in shot. Jaysus, says I, lay off the pizza, Maria. Also, that's what you get for hating me. Death at the hands of an idiot.

Fuck me. 30 stone. The biggest woman I've fancied even somewhat weighs in at half that, max, I reckon.

[chalice]

That's all right then.

[chalice]

She wasn't 30 stone when she was 16.

[IdolEyes787]

That's all right then.

That's disturbingly nonsensical like as if I wrote it myself. At least I see now why everyone hates me.

Also is 30 stone always heavy? I thought it would like totally depend on how big the stones are.

[chalice]

This girl is so fat she's actually square. Geometry just can't be arsed with her.

[Artemis]

Does Maria make a beeping noise when she steps backward? :blink:

[megabyteme]

I'm not quite certain what a "stone" is, (being that I come from a first-world country) but 30 of 'em sounds like a lot. Not as in "a bunch", but as in something one would park a car on.

[megabyteme]

Looked it up:

132633


How do you people even have internets? :unsure:

[IdolEyes787]

Looked it up:


132636

How do you people even have internets? :unsure:

More to the point,how do they wipe their bums?

[Vestibule]

Maria... I just met a girl named Maria... and suddenly I found how wonderful the sound can be... Maria... I just met a girl named... SPLAT!... (oh... um... despite the promise of eternal BJ's... is that a...I'm fat so I wanna please you in every orifice way thangy) Anyways... if she has a government job... sounds like a keeper...:rolleyes:

[megabyteme]

She wasn't 30 stone when she was 16.

Were there age of consent laws there then, or did you just have to pay her father some chickens or something?

[Artemis]

You could always roll her in flour, then aim for the wet spot Chalice. :idunno:

[mjmacky]

So, I went for a date with her a couple of weeks ago.

When you're pulled from retirement, you need to have at least one practice dummy against who you can gauge yourself without major consequence. Your footwork, your limits, your presumed goals, etc., all need a real time backdrop.

As far as dating sites go, there's going to be roughly the same percentage of rubbish people online as there is stumbling and drooling on the cobblestone. So, though a small percentage of decent lasses will exist to catch your eye, it's going to be much harder to grab their attention (where in person you could easily creep up to them with your sex eyes).

[chalice]

So, in a spurt of despair I only went at let her suck my cawk. I was getting stalked anyway, so thought I may as well skim some pleasure out of it. Got mighty drunk, took a viagra and summoned her. It was okay except I didn't ejaculate. It was filthy, actually. Took all of my pent up feelings towards women out on her and sent her home again.

Do I feel good about it? Nope. Did it alleviate my suffering? Nope. Will I do it again? Probably, innit.

[megabyteme]

Took all of my pent up feelings towards women out on her and sent her home again.

No foul (morally) as you gave her exactly what she wanted. Well, almost... :idunno:

[chalice]

Nah, didn't even almost ejaculate.

[Vestibule]

Damn.... you are certainly..... not going to inspire OlegL in his endeavours...

[chalice]

If Olegl really wanted to fuck a beautiful woman, all he has to do is walk fifty yards in any direction and hire a sister of mercy. I've told him as much. What he really wants to do is whine about being a virgin to complete strangers.

And he does...ad nauseum. Q.E.D.

[IdolEyes787]

Nah, didn't even almost ejaculate.

Anyone know of a reliable way to permanently erase an image from your mind?

[chalice]

A hammer.

[IdolEyes787]

Seems worth it.

[chalice]

You'll need a claw jobbie. You can borrow mine. Only used the once. To pry her flubbery, hormone-swollen rubber door she calls a mouth off my turgid love baton.

[mjmacky]

Love baton, greedy attention whore, are we keeping track of accuracies?

[IdolEyes787]

You'll need a claw jobbie. You can borrow mine. Only used the once. To pry her flubbery, hormone-swollen rubber door she calls a mouth off my turgid love baton.

And they say romance is dead.

Anyway given the image that I'm trying to remove,I was thinking a ball-peen would probably be the way to go.

[mjmacky]

You'll need a claw jobbie. You can borrow mine. Only used the once. To pry her flubbery, hormone-swollen rubber door she calls a mouth off my turgid love baton.

And they say romance is dead.

Anyway given the image that I'm trying to remove,I was thinking a ball-peen would probably be the way to go.

If you're willing to invest into a nice drill bit, I'll lend you a vice grip. I'll need the vice grip back.

[Funkin']

I saw on the news there's some new blind date app. You should give that a shot Oleg.

[megabyteme]

I saw on the news there's some new blind date app. You should give that a shot Oleg.

Oleg's use of the app would bring about a factory recall. :idunno:

[megabyteme]

...and widespread fear in the dating community.

[megabyteme]

If you're willing to invest into a nice drill bit, I'll lend you a vice grip. I'll need the vice grip back.

Speaking of "vice" and "grip", we are quickly approaching your favorite time of the year- the one where little snacks self-deliver to your doorstep. Who else but a pedo could have devised such a spooky hole-i-day? :no:

[anon]

I saw on the news there's some new blind date app. You should give that a shot Oleg.

This doesn't sound like the advice the Funkin' I know and love would give :(

At this point, I feel compelled to post the following link to restore cosmic balance.

http://textfiles.com/sex/808-laid.txt

[megabyteme]

http://textfiles.com/sex/808-laid.txt

I did not realize you were such a romantic, anon. :)

[anon]

I did not realize you were such a romantic, anon. :)

Hopelessly so, sugar. :kiss:

[mjmacky]

the one where little snacks self-deliver to your doorstep. Who else but a pedo could have devised such a spooky hole-i-day? :no:

What an amateur.

You don't want them to be able to point out your home. You wander around in an oversized costume and have them reach in the hole for the treat, but it is me who gets the treat, they get dick.

Isn't it a little early to be thinking about holidays?

[megabyteme]

What an amateur.

You don't want them to be able to point out your home.

I never saw you as the "catch and release" kind of guy. :idunno:

[mjmacky]

What an amateur.

You don't want them to be able to point out your home.

I never saw you as the "catch and release" kind of guy. :idunno:

Sure, it just takes me longer to release than most.

[megabyteme]

Speaking of witch, how is your ex- dealing with your new relationship?

[mjmacky]

Speaking of witch, how is your ex- dealing with your new relationship?

Who fucking knows, I haven't talked to her on a personal level since April or something. I'm sure that she'd be green with envy to find me dating a smarter, funnier, and cooler chick. We're all born with our looks, but measuring yourself up against characteristics you can actually change, but still come up short, has to hurt.

[megabyteme]

she'd be green with envy to find me dating a smarter, funnier, and cooler chick.

That is why I asked, I thought there may have been a chance encounter...

[mjmacky]

she'd be green with envy to find me dating a smarter, funnier, and cooler chick.

That is why I asked, I thought there may have been a chance encounter...

She's made a couple of efforts to see me. However, I've managed to allow all business to be conducted through email and post.

I had happened upon the conclusion that she was intentionally trying to hurt me in each breach of trust. That angle was revealed with unprecedented clarity due to her sloppy management of behavior after the separation.

[adamsdivine]

hi Mjmacky,

Being successful in the online dating world really has some rules, but sadly enough most people who haven't got that knowledge has really heard this same problem. their are quality dating sites like match.com where you can really enjoy online dating.

[IdolEyes787]

hi Mjmacky,

Being successful in the online dating world really has some rules...

Lying and having a stock of ketamine???

[mjmacky]

hi Mjmacky,

Being successful in the online dating world really has some rules, but sadly enough most people who haven't got that knowledge has really heard this same problem. their are quality dating sites like match.com where you can really enjoy online dating.

Since you don't seem to have any valuable input (at best, you're probably an advertising sleazeball), I'm going to follow that with:

Avoid sites like Match.com, whose design is setup to have you tease yourself for free and then require you to pay a disproportionately expensive fee to make the site somewhat functional.

[megabyteme]

People: Hey Adam, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Adam: An unsolicited, online "relationship coach".

People: :lol::lol::glag::slap:

[TheFoX]

their are quality dating sites like match.com where you can really enjoy online dating. Firstly, the first word of a new sentence should have a capital letter, such as 'T' in this case. Secondly, your use of 'their' is incorrect. Instead, you should use 'there', or 'There' as this word starts a sentence. There (their) is nothing worse than a PR guy who cannot spell. Makes a mockery of those who excel in this industry.