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View Full Version : WANTED: Spastics. Inquire within.



megabyteme
07-29-2012, 05:32 PM
All shapes, sizes, and abilities welcome. No prior experience necessary. Must speak fluent Mong. No pay; long hours.

Please leave your credentials in the form of a sentence, or two (if able). Goofle translated text will be considered.


Thanks.

megabyteme
07-29-2012, 05:33 PM
BTW, Dave Dowell's applications have already been submitted, and we find you overly qualified. Your skills as a mentalist are undoubtedly sincere, and well developed.

manker
07-29-2012, 05:46 PM
Pretty sure that we will now experience a dearth of spastics as Dave's put the spastic bar so high that only those with appreciable and certified brain disabilities would meet our needs.
Who else is going to churn out daily death threats and multiple fight challenges while remaining so ostentatiously benign.

Dave's the best spastic there is.

megabyteme
07-29-2012, 06:04 PM
I was thinking we'd stare a couple in the male room or Facebook phoatie stealing copier, and they could work their way up the ladder. It's kind of a onthejawb training.

Burnsy
07-29-2012, 07:14 PM
Dave's the best spastic there is.

I've been away a while, which monicker does Dave go by these days?

manker
07-29-2012, 07:57 PM
Dave's the best spastic there is.

I've been away a while, which monicker does Dave go by these days?Take your pick:
There are those and a lot more. Persistence is Dave's best attribute by virtue of it being his only one :happy:

Artemis
07-29-2012, 08:40 PM
Whatadumbarse and mentalman are still my all time bestest, favoritest :dave: ckrit identities. :yup:

manker
07-29-2012, 08:45 PM
Whatadumbarse and mentalman are still my all time bestest, favoritest :dave: ckrit identities. :yup:That one at the top of the list there, nocomprendo, kind of sums him up.

WTF people are mean on the internets, I don't understand but I WILL KILL YOU ALL D;

megabyteme
07-29-2012, 08:57 PM
All this talk of Dave is scaring off the fishes...

We don't need someone too fill :dave:'s killin' boots. He got fired months ago, and there was no need too. His position was in Murders and Executions (movie quote, anyone) anyway. :noes:

We just need some run-of-the-meds mentalists. That's all.

manker
07-29-2012, 09:07 PM
Surely we've got Mary and Oleg to fill in that particular hole.
I want my forumular mentalist to be dedicated and serious about his role.

Quarterquack
07-29-2012, 09:45 PM
Seems like we've grown our own J-Dye in-house. Congratulations, everyone.

megabyteme
07-29-2012, 09:59 PM
Seems like we've grown our own J-Dye in-house. Congratulations, everyone.

Our first serious applicant. Please state your credentials.

IdolEyes787
07-30-2012, 01:51 AM
All shapes, sizes, and abilities welcome. No prior experience necessary. Must speak fluent Mong. No pay; long hours.

Please leave your credentials in the form of a sentence, or two (if able). Goofle translated text will be considered.


Thanks.

I like frogs but mainly osprey and the occasional wombat although there don't seem to be any indigenous to my area,the wombats I mean. There are lots of frogs and four osprey.

I think that is two sentences.

More of less.

Probably more,although with even poorer punctuation it could still be less if that is a real sticking point to my application's success.

Anyway thanks in advance you annoying homosexuals.:)

megabyteme
07-30-2012, 07:53 AM
I like frogs but mainly osprey and the occasional wombat although there don't seem to be any indigenous to my area,the wombats I mean. There are lots of frogs and four osprey.

I think that is two sentences.

More of less.

Probably more,although with even poorer punctuation it could still be less if that is a real sticking point to my application's success.

Anyway thanks in advance you annoying homosexuals.:)

:kiss:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsO8R8u0MYk&feature=related

Quarterquack
07-30-2012, 09:36 AM
Please state your credentials.

Can't. Bound by your contract with your mother.

megabyteme
07-31-2012, 01:06 AM
Please state your credentials.

Can't. Bound by your contract with your mother.

Your dad called. He said you were to be my bitch now. Don't like it, take it up with him.

Quarterquack
07-31-2012, 02:55 AM
Your dad called. He said you were to be my bitch now. Don't like it, take it up with him.

Your grandfather always likes to tell fanciful stories. Someday you're going to have to grow up and realize he's just trying to win your affection.
Thought you might have realized this when he told you you were the prettiest girl in the family.

junglebook
07-31-2012, 09:07 AM
mOTHERFUCKING ENQUIRING. lIKE WAT

WHY DONT YOU JUST CLOSE THE SITE ? iTS FULL OF HATEFUL SHIT. pROBABLY COS ITS NOT AS POPULAR AS YOU'D LIKE IT TO BE, IM GUESSING BUT ITS PROBABLY ON POINT. I HATE FAKE PEOPLE.

manker
07-31-2012, 09:22 AM
mOTHERFUCKING ENQUIRING. lIKE WAT

WHY DONT YOU JUST CLOSE THE SITE ? iTS FULL OF HATEFUL SHIT. pROBABLY COS ITS NOT AS POPULAR AS YOU'D LIKE IT TO BE, IM GUESSING BUT ITS PROBABLY ON POINT. I HATE FAKE PEOPLE.I might be a little presumptuous here, after all this is mbm's baby, but I'm going to say that you're in.

Congrats :)

Artemis
07-31-2012, 10:00 AM
I may also be jumping the gun since we don't yet know Meg's full criteria for his spastic collection, but on the balance of probabilities junglebook seems an excellent candidate. :yup:

megabyteme
07-31-2012, 11:05 AM
Why not. Congrats Junglebook, Spastic in Training status granted.

See guise, they are out there (pun, ftw!).

junglebook
07-31-2012, 02:34 PM
iM NOWHERE NEAR A CANDIDATE QUIT PLAYING.

Burnsy
07-31-2012, 04:04 PM
iM NOWHERE NEAR A CANDIDATE QUIT PLAYING.

Being a trainee spastic isn't to be taken lightly, you can't "play" at it... and stop putting yourself down, you are so a great candidate (going by your earlier post). Work hard, you'll get there :)

sixorseven
07-31-2012, 04:18 PM
I take it my reply was deleted because the admins here decided those it was addressed to were far too retarded to handle it.

stan
07-31-2012, 04:42 PM
I take it my reply was deleted because the admins here decided those it was addressed to were far too retarded to handle it.

Nope. The boys here have handled some of the greatest retards the internet has known . Yours was probably just junior level.

megabyteme
07-31-2012, 05:23 PM
iM NOWHERE NEAR A CANDIDATE QUIT PLAYING.

Being a trainee spastic isn't to be taken lightly, you can't "play" at it... and stop putting yourself down, you are so a great candidate (going by your earlier post). Work hard, you'll get there :)

While accepted into the program, I fear this one lacks the commitment it takes to be truly worthwhile. :yodaears:

IdolEyes787
07-31-2012, 08:28 PM
Why not. Congrats Junglebook, Spastic in Training status granted.

See guise, they are out there (pun, ftw!).

Please tell my when he has progressed to the live fire phase as I really want to watch.

junglebook
08-02-2012, 04:43 AM
oh boy, its clear as day....im a play a likle tune for my own sake for when i revisit the spastic thread ?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wT4HNemDWmU

megabyteme
08-02-2012, 04:56 AM
I knew you were qualified, jb.

Artemis
08-02-2012, 06:08 AM
oh boy, its clear as day....im a play a likle tune for my own sake for when i revisit the spastic thread ?



What's a likle? :blink:

junglebook
08-02-2012, 06:17 AM
wa ya dun kno wu a likle is ?

Its spastic talk. Oh shit.

megabyteme
08-02-2012, 12:40 PM
wa ya dun kno wu a likle is ?

Its spastic talk. Oh shit.

Na u jst tryn 2 hrd.

IdolEyes787
08-02-2012, 09:14 PM
wa ya dun kno wu a likle is ?

Its spastic talk. Oh shit.

Goes without saying as you are a spastic.

As for you're mastery or something of music ,I laugh in your general deluded direction.

Quarterquack
08-03-2012, 06:32 AM
Goofle translated text will be considered.

Do not you think now that we have come to realize that everything you spastics to work as sex slaves out of jealousy, and "that woman"? By the way, this will allow you the power of spastics? Leader of some kind?

megabyteme
08-03-2012, 08:21 AM
Before reading your edit, I had a feeling you were quite drunk. Now I suspect you've just had a long night of Greek secks.

EDIT- And don't even think about it, you couldn't handle my mum. :no: My dad or sister, maybe. Mom, no.

Squeamous
08-03-2012, 10:25 AM
Before reading your edit, I had a feeling you were quite drunk. Now I suspect you've just had a long night of Greek secks.

EDIT- And don't even think about it, you couldn't handle my mum. :no: My dad or sister, maybe. Mom, no.

Can I try?!

junglebook
08-03-2012, 10:31 AM
wa ya dun kno wu a likle is ?

Its spastic talk. Oh shit.

Na u jst tryn 2 hrd.

Irony at its finest!

junglebook
08-03-2012, 10:33 AM
wa ya dun kno wu a likle is ?

Its spastic talk. Oh shit.

Goes without saying as you are a spastic.

As for you're mastery or something of music ,I laugh in your general deluded direction.

You did what ? when ? wow dunno how i even stooped so low and respond to you. Shit happens.

megabyteme
08-03-2012, 10:44 AM
Can I try?!

Now there's a case of irresistible force and immovable object colliding scissoring*.

*You'd be the irresistible one, of course. :wub:

Squeamous
08-03-2012, 12:59 PM
Now there's a case of irresistible force and immovable object colliding scissoring*.

*You'd be the irresistible one, of course. :wub:

You know what they say about men ending up with women who remind them of their mums. I just don't think they usually mean sexually :naughty:

Quarterquack
08-03-2012, 02:04 PM
Now I suspect you've just had a long night of Greek secks.

My night was filled with onomatopoeia. Of course, considering how little you encounter the situation, it would be Greek to you. :shifty:

manker
08-03-2012, 03:11 PM
Now there's a case of irresistible force and immovable object colliding scissoring*.

*You'd be the irresistible one, of course. :wub:

You know what they say about men ending up with women who remind them of their mums. I just don't think they usually mean sexually :naughty:
I'm just glad he pointed out that it was you and not his mam who he finds irresistible.
I've never actually seen a post by anyone which frames their mother in a tribadism scenario so I was beginning to ponder the machinations of rearing kids in the byteme household.

megabyteme
08-03-2012, 07:34 PM
Squeams is the one who wants to take on the modern day Cleopatra. And I did say Squeams was irresistible. It is also true that my mother is immovable- she's very large. And slutty...

Enjoy the ride, Sq. It was bound to happen as everyone eventually gets a shot at me mum. :idunno:

megabyteme
08-03-2012, 07:38 PM
Now I suspect you've just had a long night of Greek secks.

My night was filled with on-a-Matt-a-pee-ing. Of course, considering how little you encounter the situation, it would be Greek to you. :shifty:

Pervert. Ghey pervert. :no:

Artemis
08-03-2012, 08:27 PM
.... It is also true that my mother is immovable- she's very large. And slutty...

Enjoy the ride, Sq. It was bound to happen as everyone eventually gets a shot at me mum. :idunno:

Well, from that description she sounds hard to miss. :naughty:

megabyteme
08-04-2012, 01:37 AM
.... It is also true that my mother is immovable- she's very large. And slutty...

Enjoy the ride, Sq. It was bound to happen as everyone eventually gets a shot at me mum. :idunno:

Well, from that description she sounds hard to miss. :naughty:

:lol:

Squeamous
08-05-2012, 03:39 PM
Squeams is the one who wants to take on the modern day Cleopatra. And I did say Squeams was irresistible. It is also true that my mother is immovable- she's very large. And slutty...

Enjoy the ride, Sq. It was bound to happen as everyone eventually gets a shot at me mum. :idunno:

I've changed my mind! I'm only little and relatively young and attractive. Keep her warm for me though, I might be desperate enough ready in 20 years time.





You know what they say about men ending up with women who remind them of their mums. I just don't think they usually mean sexually :naughty:
I'm just glad he pointed out that it was you and not his mam who he finds irresistible.
I've never actually seen a post by anyone which frames their mother in a tribadism scenario so I was beginning to ponder the machinations of rearing kids in the byteme household.

I can see my search for a babydaddy must continue :no:

manker
08-05-2012, 04:19 PM
Don't give up quite yet. I've had recent thoughts about you rearing kids.
All good :sly:

Squeamous
08-05-2012, 07:28 PM
Don't give up quite yet. I've had recent thoughts about you rearing kids.
All good :sly:

You can be my fallback option just in case this man refuses my rapey advances :wub:

121367

I just saw him smile and am officially in love :wub:

manker
08-05-2012, 07:50 PM
Fall back option :snooty:
Enjoy your mono-browed Greek babies.

megabyteme
08-05-2012, 09:02 PM
Fall back option :snooty:
Enjoy your mono-browed Greek babies.

He certainly looks like he belongs in my spastic fred. Squeams and him could produce some nice dark-haired, Mickey-killing, mono-brow-wearin', bankrupt, fish-eatin', flat-chested offsprings.

Basically Oleg now that I thinks about it.

Squeamous
08-05-2012, 10:49 PM
Fall back option :snooty:
Enjoy your mono-browed Greek babies.



Fall back option :snooty:
Enjoy your mono-browed Greek babies.

He certainly looks like he belongs in my spastic fred. Squeams and him could produce some nice dark-haired, Mickey-killing, mono-brow-wearin', bankrupt, fish-eatin', flat-chested offsprings.

Basically Oleg now that I thinks about it.

Boys boy boys! There's no need to be jealous! You can have sloppy seconds and thirds. I'll let you fight over which it is.

manker
08-05-2012, 11:06 PM
I just had higher hopes for you, I wouldn't mind being the fall back option if it was one of the Davids.

Squeamous
08-05-2012, 11:24 PM
I just had higher hopes for you, I wouldn't mind being the fall back option if it was one of the Davids.

Who?

megabyteme
08-05-2012, 11:29 PM
I just had higher hopes for you, I wouldn't mind being the fall back option if it was one of the Davids.

:blink:

manker
08-05-2012, 11:31 PM
Beckham or Boreanaz.
Obv.

megabyteme
08-05-2012, 11:39 PM
Oh, the Davids. Sorry, I'm not ghey so I didn't even think about them...

Squeamous
08-05-2012, 11:44 PM
:lol: ^

I was hoping one of them would be Haye :(
I don't think even I deserve to have David Beckham's offspring. I bet it doesn't even hurt when you give birth to one :no:

manker
08-06-2012, 01:32 AM
:lol: ^

I was hoping one of them would be Haye :(
I don't think even I deserve to have David Beckham's offspring. I bet it doesn't even hurt when you give birth to one :no:
Yeah his missus doesn't look like she's squirted out four sprogs.
Probably Caesarians, the filthy whore.


Oh, the Davids. Sorry, I'm not ghey so I didn't even think about them...
You don't have to be a ghey to think about them, I certainly haven't caught myself dashing anywhere or wearing shoes that match my eyes or anything.
:eyebrows: