The burden on the penis

[mjmacky]

This post is just an articulation akin to those that I've conducted for my own selfish purposes in the past.

So I just got done fingerbanging m'lady, and the events of tonight have ruminations swirling in my head.

Though unspoken, I could feel a sense of disappointment in the lack of participation by my penis. The reality of it was that I just wasn't really feeling amorous tonight, but I have yet to proclaim an outright refusal since this adventure began (6 months ago). I loosely label myself as asexual, but I am still susceptible to carnal urges. I tend to enjoy them during states of intoxication or occasional mornings, but I'm not so amiable to nights and post-feedings. I shared these particulars early in the relationship, but it may have been counterproductive to creating an understanding since that overlapped a period of mental novelty. Also, I'd say I'm a pretty good steelworker, and now I feel like I've set the bar too high; I've set myself up for failure.

We've gotten on quite well, but I've been feeling the pressure lately. She likes to instigate at night, and I typically have fresh memories of stuffing my innards at those times. I've obliged in each case, which can be summarily categorized for me to fall under pleasure palace or evening chore. There have been no spans of time that allow me build up a sufficient offensive, and I feel like that has been perceived. She hid all of my underwear last week while I was in the shower and instructed that I had to earn them back. It was a bit of a fun exercise, but it seemed to have had the repercussions of putting me on the silent defensive. Has it gone this far? Has the abundant thrusting fatigued me so much that blackmail had to enter the foray?

My unfiltered candor was a major factor in the nearly fatal blow of my last relationship, thus I have been employing tact this time. Therein lies my obstacle. I'm not used to this, for it was so easy just to spout blunt truths and derived opinions that I've had no practice in any other art. I am trying to be more sensitive, and I feel like I am working with the wrong set of tools.

I have a suspicion that she might be seeking validation. She tells me about the random strangers that hit on her every other day without offering any clues regarding the species she's fishing from me. Yes, she's pretty, but am I supposed to reverberate this notion every time whilst being agonized by the tedium of repetition? I want to exclaim that I've been witness to such encounters so many times that each remix is utterly uninteresting. However, I refrain and only reply in levity and inquiry as my personality permits. This will build up to a rift, a catalyst of discourse that sets all records straight, but there's still nothing but continuity on the horizon from my current perspective.

I'll vacate rhetorical and self-reflective questions to ask this: what would you do in this situation? My little stump and I are a little stumped.

[TheFoX]

Spend less time typing and more time doing. By the time you have formulated this essay, you could have got it up three times in a row.

You need to be more concise. Not everyone has the attention span of an Oxford Post Graduate. The likes of Oleg and Dion would be stumped by your first sentence, if not your first word. There would be no chance of even finishing the first paragraph.

Small is beautiful, and keeping it small will benefit mankind much more than the rhetoric and preamble that convolutes most essays. Also, keeping it small also means that the meaning isn't lost amidst a wave of benign conjogulations.

[IdolEyes787]

This post is just an articulation..........

When pressed,I will admit to a certain amount of grudging respect that for such an obvious serial killer you've managed to elude the Law for so long.

[richasis]

Small is beautiful, and keeping it small will benefit mankind...

Ironic, that.

[Artemis]

My only real advice in this case would lean towards the biblical, and a quote along the lines of 'if the right eye offends thee pluck it out!'

[Snee]

And always wear clean underpants.

[Mr. Mulder]

smash her backdoors in. Job done. :smilie4:

[megabyteme]

smash her backdoors in. Job done. :smilie4:

137161

*Image borrowed from ckrit in another thread.

[richasis]

smash her backdoors in. Job done. :smilie4:

137161

*Image borrowed from ckrit in another thread.

I bet you say that to all the Boys...

[Mr. Mulder]

Only the pretty ones :ghey:

[Artemis]

Only the pretty ones :ghey:

Well Meg is safe then......

[megabyteme]

I see I am fighting an uphill battle here when I argue for the sanctity of the backdoor. I should have known... :no:

[Artemis]

The sanctity of the backdoor.... :blink:

[megabyteme]

The sanctity of the backdoor.... :blink:

syn: inviolability.

[Artemis]

You are still being very creepy, first aligning your ass with religion, then giving it superpowers. It is time to revisit your medication schedule.

[megabyteme]

You are still being very creepy, first aligning your ass with religion, then giving it superpowers. It is time to revisit your medication schedule.

:lol::D Even so, I'd still be FAR from the first ever drugged up, religious, super-asshole...

[anon]

:lol::D Even so, I'd still be FAR from the first ever drugged up, religious, super-asshole...

Rationalization only makes it worse. :noes:

[mjmacky]

Spend less time typing and more time doing. By the time you have formulated this essay, you could have got it up three times in a row.

You need to be more concise.

I don't have that kind of time on my hands at the moment.


And always wear clean underpants.

My tendency to do so led me into the aforementioned trap.

[mjmacky]

I'm not interested in the back door, at least not currently. I might open with, "we need to have a talk"... like way later down the road. She was amped for a recent career change and it all just fell through. I don't want to pile on at this time.

[chalice]

Happy Birthday, mary. Maybe she'll give your appendage a day off in lieu of the celebrations.

Wouldn't count on it, though.

[TheFoX]

I had to re-read this thread, as I thought the title was a reference to Dion.

[mjmacky]

Happy Birthday, mary. Maybe she'll give your appendage a day off in lieu of the celebrations.

Wouldn't count on it, though.

She got me a knife, like a really sharp knife. It was awesome despite my continuous barking that I don't celebrate or participate in any of the annual traditions.

In any case, let's not mention appendage and off in the same sentence for a little while.

[Funkin']

The ladies do have it easy('cept for the whole monthly visit thing and pregnancy). All they have to do is spread their legs. Us men have an appendage to get to stand up. Which when you get in your thirties isn't as easy as it once was.

Especially if you take meds that affect your libido. If i am able to get hard, probably seven out of ten times i won't even get my nut. So then I have to listen to the girl whine about not being sexy enough for me...

Nowadays i rarely bother with sex. There are better things i can be doing with my time(like getting high and playing video games).

[mjmacky]

I have noticed that my libido and work ethic do not share the same airspace. That's been one of the problems, working my ass off; I'm barely even yanking it these days. Maybe this is all just some temporary slump, and it will be forgotten as I set myself right.

[Artemis]

It's an incredibly long slump.....So you are destined to either have a work life or a sex life? Since you primarily list yourself as asexual it won't be a huge loss anyway?

[megabyteme]

take meds that affect your libido[/B]. If i am able to get hard, probably seven out of ten times i won't even get my nut. So then I have to listen to the girl whine about not being sexy enough for me...

Nowadays i rarely bother with sex. There are better things i can be doing with my time(like getting high and playing video games).

1. Morphine is bad enough, methadone has got to be quite the peen deflater. :console:

2. Just say, "yes" when they start pulling that shit. Tell 'em to "dress nicer, or do something with their face/hair. And shave that shit sometimes..." :devil:

[Funkin']

sole
2. Just say, "yes" when they start pulling that shit. Tell 'em to "dress nicer, or do something with their face/hair. And shave that shit sometimes..." :devil:

I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

[LostinT]

sole
2. Just say, "yes" when they start pulling that shit. Tell 'em to "dress nicer, or do something with their face/hair. And shave that shit sometimes..." :devil:

I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

My Mum has a nice 1950's corset to suit the decade, if you're interested, give me a shout.

[mjmacky]

I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

I think that's because, like me, you'd hate to add an extra frown on a young child's already disappointed face.

[IdolEyes787]

I wouldn't have thought that to be much of an issue,what with the duct tape and all.

[mjmacky]

I wouldn't have thought that to be much of an issue,what with the duct tape and all.

Why waste duct tape when you can freely work on interpersonal skills?

[tenkzpsp]

adADSad

[mjmacky]

adADSad

What the robot said.

[IdolEyes787]

adADSad

What the robot said.

Don't scoff as the robot made twice as much sense as dion#### ever does.

[megabyteme]

sole
2. Just say, "yes" when they start pulling that shit. Tell 'em to "dress nicer, or do something with their face/hair. And shave that shit sometimes..." :devil:

I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

Remember: It is NEVER the peen's fault. Never.

[mjmacky]

I have to grow a spine before i do that. I talk big, but in reality I'm all like "no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you, you're beautiful(and blah blah blah). My pee pee is just being a jerk right now...

Remember: It is NEVER the peen's fault. Never.

In truth, it is just a conspiracy concocted by a two-headed beast.

[Quarterquack]

If that's the view you have, you're at the right place.

[j2k4]

This post is just an ejaculation....

Yes, we see that.

It's all white and sticky.




Hello, mj.

I see not much has changed during my sojourn. :)

[mjmacky]

This post is just an ejaculation....

Yes, we see that.

It's all white and sticky.




Hello, mj.

I see not much has changed during my sojourn. :)

Everything has changed, I think. For example, it's a Tuesday, right? Also, I got my chupacabra removed.

[megabyteme]

Welcome back, Kev. :)

RE: Everything's changed...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Matter_of_Minutes


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJGm_8GWYpM

[IdolEyes787]

I see not much has changed during my sojourn. :)

Well they did stop using the word "sojourn" around 1902.

[j2k4]

...I got my chupacabra removed.

Most of us have never seen chupacabra, and you've had your own all this time...magnifico! :D


Welcome back, Kev. :)

RE: Everything's changed...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Matter_of_Minutes


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJGm_8GWYpM

Heh.

Figured missing my 12th annie warranted a look-see, you know?

Can't seem to get everything done, these days, and I've had FST on my list forever.

I anticipated having more time, but I needed to re-up my password and stuffs. :huh:

Anyway, gotta call Clocker in a bit - we still keep in regular touch, don't know if he's been here in a while.

I'll try to get back for longer visit; I honestly need to do that.

Laterz

[j2k4]

I see not much has changed during my sojourn. :)

Well they did stop using the word "sojourn" around 1902.

"They"?

Which "they" would that be?

[mjmacky]

Because of a recent catalytic event, I boiled over and reestablished my positions and new course of action.

I'm done with being tactful. I made her cry, but she professed it's too easy a feat to maintain it as any type of accomplishment. In any case, it was a motherfucking load off and things should work out for the better. She admitted that she engaged some of the times because she thought I might be "needing" it. It's a bit of a tight spot when one is trying to tell his girl what he thinks a man is. We're two smart adults, why not let communication sort out these issues, right?

It should have been like that from the start, but I haven't been walking around unscathed. Them's the updates, or perhaps the conclusion to the opener. How very anticlimactic.

[mjmacky]

Well they did stop using the word "sojourn" around 1902.

"They"?

Which "they" would that be?

It's always all of them. They are a collective and indefinable mass. Individuals try to distinguish themselves from the rest of them, but details will always be blurred from afar. Note that you are part of them to many, just as they are them to you.

Satisfied with that answer?

[j2k4]

"They"?

Which "they" would that be?

It's always all of them. They are a collective and indefinable mass. Individuals try to distinguish themselves from the rest of them, but details will always be blurred from afar. Note that you are part of them to many, just as they are them to you.

Satisfied with that answer?

No.

I have used "sojourn" unstintingly since learning it in the crib.

Without me, there can be no them.

[mjmacky]

It's always all of them. They are a collective and indefinable mass. Individuals try to distinguish themselves from the rest of them, but details will always be blurred from afar. Note that you are part of them to many, just as they are them to you.

Satisfied with that answer?

No.

I have used "sojourn" unstintingly since learning it in the crib.

Without me, there can be no them.

They could and would sojourn without you. Examine your place in the universe. Them also includes aliens.

[chalice]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2PLls02gOU

[mjmacky]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2PLls02gOU

Why are you always posting old movie clips, Idol?

Coincidentally, I had this urge to rewatch Frisky Dingo last night while tutoring and got up to the part where that reporter is taken over by radioactive ants. I forgot her original name because she changed it to Antagony (Ant Agony).

[Artemis]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2PLls02gOU

Why are you always posting old movie clips, Idol?

Coincidentally, I had this urge to rewatch Frisky Dingo last night while tutoring and got up to the part where that reporter is taken over by radioactive ants. I forgot her original name because she changed it to Antagony (Ant Agony).

Although Chalice looks upon him as his son, Idol and Chalice aren't actually the same person. Too much of a good thing with the medicine cabinet this week? :blink:

[j2k4]

No.

I have used "sojourn" unstintingly since learning it in the crib.

Without me, there can be no them.

They could and would sojourn without you. Examine your place in the universe. Them also includes aliens.

My place is secure; I am an undiscovered alien.

In fact, that is why I have continued using the word sojourn, as it is just returning to vogue in many places I visit.

I am a cool entity in so many locales...

[sandstromhenrik]

Lol, this thread.

[IdolEyes787]

Without me, there can be no them.

Obviously you're against us then.No problem.The greater the odds the less remorse I will have to deal with for having to sacrifice mjmacky to the cause.:idunno:

[IdolEyes787]

Why are you always posting old movie clips, Idol?



http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1uh8d_scaramouche-duel-final_shortfilms

Basically chalice makes me.

[j2k4]

Without me, there can be no them.

Obviously you're against us then.No problem.The greater the odds the less remorse I will have to deal with for having to sacrifice mjmacky to the cause.:idunno:

You seem to have forgotten - I am the original 'us'.

Look at my join date, ffs. :rolleyes:


Just noticed your status!

After all this time...hope your tenure was as stupid as mine... :D

[mjmacky]

Why are you always posting old movie clips, Idol?

Coincidentally, I had this urge to rewatch Frisky Dingo last night while tutoring and got up to the part where that reporter is taken over by radioactive ants. I forgot her original name because she changed it to Antagony (Ant Agony).

Although Chalice looks upon him as his son, Idol and Chalice aren't actually the same person. Too much of a good thing with the medicine cabinet this week? :blink:

We shall revisit this game, Fox. Do you remember all the other times I boringly explained the joke? It's no fun for everyone, but you're committed to it, so here we go.

If Idol did in fact post the video, then I would have said nothing, for Idol would have been adhering to his well-established pattern. Here though, our dear friend chalice took up the role usually filled by Idol, so I labeled one as the other, as if to affirm that we all have our predestined roles and cannot breach the boundaries that envelop them.

[Artemis]

It's just so much fun pissing on your parade.....and since you are such a narcissist, it barely breaks your stride anyway, it just unfortunate that you can't treat me to your extended lectures complete with slideshows that you do to to your captive audiences....

Think of me as that annoying cut on the roof of your mouth, if only you would stop checking it with your tongue, it would heal and go away (not so in my case :naughty: but the analogy still holds).

[mjmacky]

It's just so much fun pissing on your parade.....and since you are such a narcissist, it barely breaks your stride anyway, it just unfortunate that you can't treat me to your extended lectures complete with slideshows that you do to to your captive audiences....

Think of me as that annoying cut on the roof of your mouth, if only you would stop checking it with your tongue, it would heal and go away (not so in my case :naughty: but the analogy still holds).

Glad you were able to come out of your Pfizer-sponsored coma to deliver that save. :)

[Artemis]

It's just so much fun pissing on your parade.....and since you are such a narcissist, it barely breaks your stride anyway, it just unfortunate that you can't treat me to your extended lectures complete with slideshows that you do to to your captive audiences....

Think of me as that annoying cut on the roof of your mouth, if only you would stop checking it with your tongue, it would heal and go away (not so in my case :naughty: but the analogy still holds).

Glad you were able to come out of your Pfizer-sponsored coma to deliver that save. :)

De nada.