Life In General. Specifically Speaking.

[chalice]

As I sit, not quite drunk, quite stoned, I'm back, for the first instance in six months, in the house wherein my children reside. It's been difficult. I cannot lie. I keep glancing contemptuously to my immediate left, where slumbers on a resilient sofa, the obsessively compulsive object of my desires. Her being OCD, not your humble narrator, just to be clear. It's quite the chore not to argue with someone in the grips of said condition, especially if you're one a them argumentative types of cunts like wot I am.

Murder creeps to mind. A piercing anger rises in me almost hourly. Our conversations are pulled like badly tuned fiddle strings. All love gone. Except for mine. Before me, in a ps3 lit foreground squats my youngest and only biological son. Consumed entirely by Christmas, firing furtive eye contact for approval when he splats a digitally rendered stock hostile alien in COD Ghosts, or whatever the fuck it's called. He should be in bed, but I'm making the most of the time before I have to sling my sorry hook tomorrow anon. Christmas being over. He's my last shot at immortality, my daughter trapped in her troglodyte, Aspergian transposition to society.

One retrieval I'm grateful for is my eldest, not biologically, you understand, taking it upon himself to resume calling me 'dad' again after a traumatic reveal, for me in any case, that he wasn't spawned from my loins, only six months ago. The uppercut he delivered by calling me by my real forename for the first time was little short of devastating. He resumed my paternal nomination during Doctor Who yesterday and brought me great comfort in a simple three letter word, Dad.

Anyway, more tomorrow, if you can stand it, when I get access to a keyboard again, instead of this wank-a-doodle, suck a cawk-amamie kindle nonsense.

[TheFoX]

Chalice, I really like you, but don't you talk shit sometimes.

[chalice]

That's why you like me, Foxyplasmosis. You wish you could bare your soul sometimes, but you just can't. It's one of those begrudging admiration things. Whereas I've got a portion of scope, you're just stuck in nasty mode. You're so circa 2008.

Fuck sake, I taught the board harsh. I'm mellowing, and so should you, you silly little man.

[Vestibule]

I find your cathartic wart sharing touches me in places I thought I could bury in my loathsomeness... perhaps one day I will have the courage to talk about my loveless marriage... unsatisfying extra-marital affairs, particularly my newest (and the lies that get her taking off her clothes despite knowing I am married with six kids) and my obsession with fucking... Life in General... is complicated... but I am the author of my reality... and I can't seem to finish my sentences with any true...

[Stehle]

Are Cliff Notes for this thread available?..... or would you just like me to try uploading some "Blue Happiness" to you guys?


(They kind of look like "Purple Haze", but experience more like "Strawberry Fields"...great this time of the year to make your posts more "edgy". 'nuff said.)
- The Organic :alien:

[megabyteme]

He resumed my paternal nomination during Doctor Who yesterday and brought me great comfort in a simple three letter word, Dad.

At least there was something good that happened during that half-assed episode (at least for one of us)...


I find your cathartic wart sharing touches me in places I thought I could bury in my loathsomeness... perhaps one day I will have the courage to talk about my loveless marriage... unsatisfying extra-marital affairs, particularly my newest (and the lies that get her taking off her clothes despite knowing I am married with six kids) and my obsession with fucking... Life in General... is complicated... but I am the author of my reality... and I can't seem to finish my sentences with any true...

Who are you again? :unsure:

[Mr. Mulder]

As I sit, not quite drunk, quite stoned, I'm back, for the first instance in six months, in the house wherein my children reside. It's been difficult. I cannot lie. I keep glacing contempuosly to my immediate left, where slumbers on a resilient sofa, the obsessively compulsive object of my desires. Her being OCD, not your humble narrator, just to be clear. It's quite the chore not to argue with someone in the grips of said condition, especially if you're one a them argumentative types of cunts like wot I am.

Murder creeps to mind. A peircing anger rises in me almost hourly. Our conversations are pulled like badly tuned fiddle strings. All love gone. Except for mine. Before me, in a ps3 lit foreground squats my youngest and only biological son. Consumed entirely by Chistmas, firing furtive eye contact for approval when he splats a digitally rendered stock hostile alien in COD Ghosts, or whatever the fuck it's called. He should be in bed, but I'm making the most of the time before I have to sling my sorry hook tomorrow anon. Christmas being over. He's my last shot at immortality, my daughter trapped in her troglodyte, Aspergian transposition to society.

One reteival I'm grateful for is my eldest, not biologically, you understand, taking it upon himself to resume calling me 'dad' again after a traumatic reveal, for me in any case, that he wasn't spawned from my loins, only six months ago. The uppercut he delivered by calling me by my real forename for the first time was little short of devastating. He resumed my paternal nomination during Doctor Who yesterday and brought me great comfort in a simple three letter word, Dad.

Anyway, more tomorrow, if you can stand it, when I get access to a keyboard again, instead of this wank-a-doodle, suck a cawk-amamie kindle nonsense.

That's some touching shit and not in the rolf harris sense of the word. And all it took to happen was the American games company Activision and our false worship of a somehow white, English speaking Jesus with highlighted hair.


Christmas. :mushy:

[TheFoX]

That's why you like me, Foxyplasmosis. You wish you could bare your soul sometimes, but you just can't. It's one of those begrudging admiration things. Whereas I've got a portion of scope, you're just stuck in nasty mode. You're so circa 2008.

Fuck sake, I taught the board harsh. I'm mellowing, and so should you, you silly little man.

Ah, but I don't feel the need to bare my soul. You and Oleg are like opposites. You bare your soul to show a multilayered persona, whereas Oleg bares his soul to show a void where something should exist.

In fact, you are like onion man, whereas when we peal back a layer, there are more, different, layers to examine.

Oleg is like a table tennis ball. Peal back the first layer to find nothing inside.

As for being stuck in 'nasty mode', this is not quite true. I am a reflection of what I see. If the other guy is a pleb, I'll reflect that in what I say. I speak the truth. Why honey words when it is so obviously fake?

As for scope, I think stretch way beyond the bounds set down by society. I have been thinking outside the box for so long now that it has become second nature. I see the world for what it is, which is a cheap scam perpetrated by the various broadcasting channels and networks that surround our world. I don't buy in to all those reality voting shows, where we are supposed to dictate the path they take. I know that the real control is with the network or channel, and that our calls are nothing more than money making scams.

As for being circa 2008, I thought I was more circa 2007, so either you are right or I am right, but at least one of us is wrong.

As for being little, this hardly describes me, especially since I need to lose several stone in weight, unless you were making a philosophical reference to my mental attitude.

As for your mellowing, I think this is just a trap so that you can capture more souls in you devious little web. I like you, but I don't trust you. Please don't confuse the two.

[Spider_dude]

stfu fox, you nob end.

[IdolEyes787]

As for being stuck in 'nasty mode', this is not quite true. I am a reflection of what I see. If the other guy is a pleb, I'll reflect that in what I say. I speak the truth. Why honey words when it is so obviously fake?

As for scope, I think stretch way beyond the bounds set down by society. I have been thinking outside the box for so long now that it has become second nature. I see the world for what it is, which is a cheap scam perpetrated by the various broadcasting channels and networks that surround our world. I don't buy in to all those reality voting shows, where we are supposed to dictate the path they take. I know that the real control is with the network or channel, and that our calls are nothing more than money making scams.

As for being circa 2008, I thought I was more circa 2007, so either you are right or I am right, but at least one of us is wrong.

As for being little, this hardly describes me, especially since I need to lose several stone in weight, unless you were making a philosophical reference to my mental attitude.


Yeah,I was crazy once too.

[TheFoX]

stfu fox, you nob end.

What grave did they exhume your rotting corpse from?

[Artemis]

Yeah,I was crazy once too.


Only once? :blink:

[chalice]

That's why you like me, Foxyplasmosis. You wish you could bare your soul sometimes, but you just can't. It's one of those begrudging admiration things. Whereas I've got a portion of scope, you're just stuck in nasty mode. You're so circa 2008.

Fuck sake, I taught the board harsh. I'm mellowing, and so should you, you silly little man.

Ah, but I don't feel the need to bare my soul. You and Oleg are like opposites. You bare your soul to show a multilayered persona, whereas Oleg bares his soul to show a void where something should exist.

In fact, you are like onion man, whereas when we peal back a layer, there are more, different, layers to examine.

Oleg is like a table tennis ball. Peal back the first layer to find nothing inside.

As for being stuck in 'nasty mode', this is not quite true. I am a reflection of what I see. If the other guy is a pleb, I'll reflect that in what I say. I speak the truth. Why honey words when it is so obviously fake?

As for scope, I think stretch way beyond the bounds set down by society. I have been thinking outside the box for so long now that it has become second nature. I see the world for what it is, which is a cheap scam perpetrated by the various broadcasting channels and networks that surround our world. I don't buy in to all those reality voting shows, where we are supposed to dictate the path they take. I know that the real control is with the network or channel, and that our calls are nothing more than money making scams.

As for being circa 2008, I thought I was more circa 2007, so either you are right or I am right, but at least one of us is wrong.

As for being little, this hardly describes me, especially since I need to lose several stone in weight, unless you were making a philosophical reference to my mental attitude.

As for your mellowing, I think this is just a trap so that you can capture more souls in you devious little web. I like you, but I don't trust you. Please don't confuse the two.

I gleaned two valuable points of interest from the above. The first being that you're fat, with the second being that you'd make a terrible campanologist seeing as you can't differentiate between 'peel' and 'peal'. Your predilections towards me, whether you like or trust me, are of little concern to me. I have not the time, energy nor inclination to pursue this with you. I spent my aggression a long time ago on ruminant bittards when they plied their idiot will against my beloved lounge some time in the decade previous to this. These are quieter, more introspective times for the lounge, now that the mongoloid horde have dispersed, and the place is all the better for it

Save it for Olegl if you must. Your obsession with the poor chap borders on the morbid. He effectively ignores you in any case. As will I if you keep boring my undergarments off with your interminable pish.

[TheFoX]

I gleaned two valuable points of interest from the above. The first being that you're fat, with the second being that you'd make a terrible campanologist seeing as you can't differentiate between 'peel' and 'peal'. Your predilections towards me, whether you like or trust me, are of little concern to me. I have not the time, energy nor inclination to pursue this with you. I spent my aggression a long time ago on ruminant bittards when they plied their idiot will against my beloved lounge some time in the decade previous to this. These are quieter, more introspective times for the lounge, now that the mongoloid horde have dispersed, and the place is all the better for it

Save it for Olegl if you must. Your obsession with the poor chap borders on the morbid. He effectively ignores you in any case. As will I if you keep boring my undergarments off with your interminable pish.

So, you used 886 characters to create 156 words to say...


I have not the time, energy nor inclination to pursue this with you.

If that were genuinely true, you would not have responded to my response, or simply said...


stfu foxy.

This only goes to demonstrate your respect for me is still strong.

:D

[Mr. Mulder]

stfu fox, you nob end.

haha, you still exist.

[IdolEyes787]

This only goes to demonstrate your respect for me is still strong.

:D

Some unsolicited and likely unwelcome advice.

It's been evident to me at least,Fox,that you have this major hard-on for chalice.

I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure that in all of history, fawning has never engendered respect.So good luck with that.

[IdolEyes787]

Yeah,I was crazy once too.


Only once? :blink:

Yeah,or at least that's what the voices in my head that whisper for me to do terrible things, are telling me.:)

[j2k4]

Sounds like the usual post-Christmas stickiness, I think.

My old friend chalice wears discomfiture - real or not - as awkwardly as ever.

Don't know what any of you have gotten into lately, but if those are real tears, I empathize, sir.

Of course, given my own general curmudgeonliness, how much can that mean? :huh:

PS-

Gentleman Jack shore am good whisky. :)

[chalice]

This Year Has Been Pretty.

This year has been pretty bad.




I lost the shitty lot I had.



Not just warts but family too.



They fell away like wet tissue.



Lost a son and gained a crown.



The elements took me to town



And brought me back and left me here,



An armless, charmless gondolier.



With no gollashes for the eels



Who claim to know just how it feels.



Yet still remain, somehow, upright



And sleep while I can’t sleep at night.



There’s a drumming in my head.



Those seven feet won’t go to bed.



They kick me ‘til I kick them back



And hit them with an eight attack.



Or sometimes nine. It all depends



On how much time one cares to spends.

[j2k4]

Ya four-eyed galoot.

Buck up, sir - it's what's left to you, new year and all; a slight remove, courtesy of the calender.

Shoot me a PM if you feel like - I think I need some detail, and we're damn near strangers again, it's been so long. :)

[chalice]

I'm dandy, Kevin, though your generous (for your leathered years) concern is duly noted.

Jeeps, it's gotten so a bloke can't air his dirty wares in public these days. Is all you want from me expletives and insincere aggression? I speak unflinchingly about my life on this forum, for good or ill. Always have, always will. I don't give two fucks about the last pissy movie I watched, and I've no desire to discuss it.In retrospect it's all shite anyway and cynicism comes easy.

I'm perfectly fine, you women, you. I don't think I've changed the way I post at all.

[brotherdoobie]

Chalice, I just got back with my wife and by proxy my children. I had an affair. I love the girl I had the affair with. I love my wife.
I am fecking confused as hell. I ache for her every night. My family is happy ... I can't breath sometimes.

I take deep breaths and then I swallow it all. I go to work, I create halfway decent art, and I try not to choke on all of it.
Feel free to write away, brother.

Peace, Paul

[j2k4]

I'm dandy, Kevin, though your generous (for your leathered years) concern is duly noted.

Jeeps, it's gotten so a bloke can't air his dirty wares in public these days. Is all you want from me expletives and insincere aggression? I speak unflinchingly about my life on this forum, for good or ill. Always have, always will. I don't give two fucks about the last pissy movie I watched, and I've no desire to discuss it.In retrospect it's all shite anyway and cynicism comes easy.

I'm perfectly fine, you women, you. I don't think I've changed the way I post at all.

Public airings of "dirty wares" are best left to the pols; they do it in front of a packed media, which filters the deceits to us.

Private folk are always better-mannered - as long as they aren't certified/certifiable loons.

Also, cynicism is a glass house, truly.

It's just easier to larf, isn't it? :)


Aside from all that, if I'd been here all along, you wouldn't be in any straits, dire or otherwise, and if you needed a good bandaging, I'd have done that, too.

Without me, however, you have descended into the dreck at the head of this post.

Your wit needs a good stropping, I'd say.



Chalice, I just got back with my wife and by proxy my children. I had an affair. I love the girl I had the affair with. I love my wife.
I am fecking confused as hell. I ache for her every night. My family is happy ... I can't breath sometimes.

I take deep breaths and then I swallow it all. I go to work, I create halfway decent art, and I try not to choke on all of it.
Feel free to write away, brother.

Peace, Paul

My God, Paul.

How are you? :)

Are you competing with Chalice, or what.

If you aren't lying either, hew to the troo, and keep breathing - it'll all come out in someone's wash.

Living a stain-free life isn't that hard.

Or is it the other way around?

If you are lying, be aware you've just handed a razor to each attending here. :wink:


Is JP still sucking air at all (at all).

[j2k4]

Now, there's ^^^ a fair-and-balanced post:

Seven lines each for two old friends who would bicker if I wasn't careful about that, and one for my young friend and would-be curmudgeon, JayPee. :lol:

[mjmacky]

They are all trying to compete with me, but I believe I still have a leg up on "anonymous" exhibitionism.

In truth, I love this thread. I want to wallow in the shared, maintained corkscrew pattern. Unfortunately I had an idea for one of the brain dead threads that I might just go execute.

[IdolEyes787]

This Year Has Been Pretty.

This year has been pretty bad.




I lost the shitty lot I had.



Not just warts but family too.



They fell away like wet tissue.



Lost a son and gained a crown.



The elements took me to town



And brought me back and left me here,



An armless, charmless gondolier.



With no gollashes for the eels



Who claim to know just how it feels.



Yet still remain, somehow, upright



And sleep while I can’t sleep at night.



There’s a drumming in my head.



Those seven feet won’t go to bed.



They kick me ‘til I kick them back



And hit them with an eight attack.



Or sometimes nine. It all depends



On how much time one cares to spends.




I wept

No, honestly I really feel for you,man

But then I'm sensitive

OK the tears were mostly over the poor shoe-less eels,but still

Images of sad barefoot eels now haunt my dreams :(

[Vestibule]

...conviction.

[chalice]

Fair enoughski. I'll just go back to being a cunt then. No pleasing some fuckers.

[megabyteme]

I feel sorry for doobs who has to make the choice of which hot babe to stay with. :(

[Artemis]

Fair enoughski. I'll just go back to being a cunt then. No pleasing some fuckers.

It's always better to work with the tools we have at hand.....

[TheFoX]

Fair enoughski. I'll just go back to being a cunt then. No pleasing some fuckers.

I'd be upset if you weren't being a cunt. It is what identifies you.

[IdolEyes787]

Fair enoughski. I'll just go back to being a cunt then. No pleasing some fuckers.

OlegL mumbled something about not being able to please anyone so he's got to please himself.
I wish he was simply paraphrasing that Ricky Nelson song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFugRFKqjFg) and/or I could get the image out of my head.

[IdolEyes787]

Also I just got off the phone with some guy that works in a Thai food takeout place and he says my poem is like at least more better times better than yours.

[Artemis]

Also I just got off the phone with some guy that works in a Thai food takeout place and he says my poem is like at least more better times better than yours.

You understood the guy in the Thai food takeout place? :blink:

[megabyteme]

Also I just got off the phone with some guy that works in a Thai food takeout place and he says my poem is like at least more better times better than yours.

Are you sure he even heard you correctly with your face down in the pillow? :idunno:

[TheFoX]

Also I just got off the phone with some guy that works in a Thai food takeout place and he says my poem is like at least more better times better than yours.

Are you sure he even heard you correctly with your face down in the pillow? :idunno:

:lol:

[brotherdoobie]

Kevin, the girl I was(?) having an affair with has an amazing personality, she has great drugs, and we fucked roughly 20 times the first night we went to an hotel room. It was lovely each time.

My wife and children are still in pain; especially the missus. I alternate between pain, lust and loving two women. I am a fuck.

True story.

[Snee]

[Insert joke about girls named Kevin, here.]

[mjmacky]

[Insert joke about girls named Kevin, here.]

'Twould only work if a comma proceeded the first instance of "with".

[Gripper]

Well Happy New Year to one and all,on a personal note I am coming out of my depression and feel like I could go back to work as long as it's not in a fuckingg factory again,Blessed be :)

[j2k4]

Doobie = semantic klutziness = a noice welcome back. :lol:

Snee, Gripper, how are you fellows?

Depression abounds, even here.

I have named mine Obama.

[Gripper]

Doobie = semantic klutziness = a noice welcome back. :lol:

Snee, Gripper, how are you fellows?

Depression abounds,

I have named mine Obama.
I am good j2,never thought to name mine,I think I shall call it Pierre

[j2k4]

Doobie = semantic klutziness = a noice welcome back. :lol:

Snee, Gripper, how are you fellows?

Depression abounds,

I have named mine Obama.

I am good j2,never thought to name mine,I think I shall call it Pierre

Heh - touche.

[OlegL]

Save it for Olegl if you must. Your obsession with the poor chap borders on the morbid. He effectively ignores you in any case. As will I if you keep boring my undergarments off with your interminable pish.

I don't ignore him. He's been pretty cool.

[Something Else]

Nice won Gripper. Respect to ewe Chalice. Happy days. :smilie4:

[Biggles]

Life is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman

Especially if the beautiful woman is a lot like rolling in a bed of thistles whilst having your teeth filled.

I'm thinking it will take more than a motivational poster to put any kind of positive spin on these outrageous slings and arrows.

[j2k4]

The Perfect Woman = Eternal 'what If' question, Bigglesworth.

Irony is, if she did/does exist, who in their right mind would tell?

Not me...