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Alien5
03-13-2009, 10:31 AM
Obvious from the title!


Why do birds fly?

bigboab
02-15-2014, 08:04 AM
he does not have an account.


when actors are down and out why don't they butter their roles?

Stehle
02-23-2014, 04:27 PM
Perhaps all the fruits of their past are spoiled.

Why do we cling to the past?

bigboab
02-25-2014, 07:58 AM
It is repressed homosexuality. 'clinging to behind'.


how can you be forthright when you are first wrong?

Stehle
02-27-2014, 09:12 PM
Actually the word "forth" is a poor spelling of 4th and we all know two (2) wrongs don't make a right, so we must deduce by doubling this effect we are creating a double negative of that word and are wrong when we should be right.

How many stars a visible in the night sky to the naked eye?

bigboab
02-27-2014, 09:31 PM
None. I live in Scotland.


Where is the centre of attraction?

pythoncancer
02-28-2014, 07:42 AM
why Polish so stupid ?

bigboab
02-28-2014, 07:48 AM
polish- the name could result in them getting rubbed the wrong way.


why do we get stupid questions without stupid answers?

Darth Sushi
02-28-2014, 05:54 PM
because of stupid threads


why are birds so ugly?
You'd be ugly too if you had a pecker on your face!

megabyteme
02-28-2014, 06:16 PM
Yer mum actually looks better that way. :whistling

Why are mum jokes always funny?

Darth Sushi
02-28-2014, 08:19 PM
Why are mum jokes always funny?
because the doctor slapped your mum when your fugly face was born.

how come I never get an egg with an eggroll?

bigboab
02-28-2014, 10:02 PM
because you have already been laid.

why am I not rich?

Darth Sushi
02-28-2014, 11:09 PM
why am I not rich?
because your name is boab, not rich.


How do you get off a non-stop flight?

megabyteme
02-28-2014, 11:25 PM
Quickly.

How do you get two 4-year olds to eat?

bigboab
03-01-2014, 07:45 AM
feed them*

why does nobody fall off the end of the earth?

pythoncancer
03-01-2014, 08:09 AM
Because of Sandra Bullock



feed them*

why does nobody fall off the end of the earth?

Darth Sushi
03-01-2014, 09:44 PM
Blankety blank (fucking noobs)


Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?

bigboab
03-01-2014, 09:50 PM
because big mac makes the rules to go


If Chinese medicine is that good, why do they have operating theatres?

Darth Sushi
03-01-2014, 10:05 PM
because there are too many movie pirates


Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

bigboab
03-02-2014, 05:29 PM
because I have never heard the saying.


would you send a text to someone who cant read?

megabyteme
03-02-2014, 07:24 PM
No, I try to avoid idiots. Except here, it seems...

Would you watch foreign porn without subtitles?

Darth Sushi
03-02-2014, 08:15 PM
Subtitles for moaning and panting? 141067 "Certainly!"



Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

bigboab
03-02-2014, 08:54 PM
somebody might urinate against them


does everyone have an imagination?

Darth Sushi
03-03-2014, 01:06 AM
Nope, it's on back-order



Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

bigboab
03-03-2014, 08:40 PM
you should not go down on scrubbers


Why don't tradesmen stick to their original quote?

Darth Sushi
03-04-2014, 07:21 AM
Because the quote is the lube before the stick



If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

bigboab
03-04-2014, 09:34 AM
because if was #1 it would be piss


are dwarves normal size and the rest giants?

Darth Sushi
03-05-2014, 02:51 AM
are dwarves normal size and the rest giants?
Only in middle earth (LOTR)


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Stehle
03-05-2014, 07:19 PM
no, it would seem lately that some new morons do come from FST though.

How does one become headache free?

megabyteme
03-05-2014, 07:25 PM
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

:lol: Nice one, DS!


How does one become headache free?

I have not had one since losing my mind, if that helps. :)

How are we to pay attention to something if we are already mindful?

bigboab
03-06-2014, 08:00 AM
It is only people at the back who need to pay attention



how can you be housebound without being fettered?

berty66
03-06-2014, 08:03 AM
so we cant catch them..

give them mcdonalds :naughty:

Darth Sushi
03-07-2014, 05:34 AM
Blankety blank (fucking noob)


What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?

bigboab
03-07-2014, 07:57 AM
a water colour

why would you want to choke a smurf?

megabyteme
03-07-2014, 02:17 PM
'Chokey' Smurf begs for it.

Which cartoon character would you make The Secks with, if you could?

bigboab
03-07-2014, 03:58 PM
snow white , I would feel Happy after that.

Why do dogs not fly?

Darth Sushi
03-07-2014, 05:39 PM
because their ears are not big enough (the Basset Hound has potential)




Why call it Greenland when it is covered with ice?

bigboab
03-08-2014, 09:39 PM
they are colour blind


do Eskimos have fridges?

Darth Sushi
03-08-2014, 09:55 PM
Yes, but they have to igloo it together


Do Eskimos have house warming parties?

bigboab
03-11-2014, 06:48 PM
only if they play cool music



why do rednecks not turn brown?

Darth Sushi
03-12-2014, 03:23 AM
because a redneck's family tree has no limbs


Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

bigboab
03-14-2014, 06:44 PM
It is on its way out the window.



Why are nuts called nuts and not testicles?

Darth Sushi
03-14-2014, 06:58 PM
unlike nuts, you can insert popsicle sticks into testicles


Why do guys have nipples?

bigboab
03-14-2014, 09:24 PM
so that everyone can get on their tits




why am I not watching the soccer on t v?

Darth Sushi
03-15-2014, 04:50 AM
cuz u r posting here


Where is the lead in a lead pencil?

bigboab
03-15-2014, 07:59 AM
it appears when you are writing a poison letter


is the head teacher only concerned with the head of a pupil?

Darth Sushi
03-17-2014, 05:09 AM
141685 nope, the iris & sclera too


If I make Jesus-shaped pancakes, but I burnt them. Am I going to hell?

megabyteme
03-17-2014, 06:27 AM
Nope. Not only are they self-healing, but they'll forgive you.

Is it possible Jesus was black?

bigboab
03-17-2014, 07:52 AM
The big white man with the beard would be getting a divorce


why are farmers always poor?

megabyteme
03-17-2014, 09:23 AM
If we started paying them what they are worth, they'd get lazy. It's for their own good... :sly:

Should parents be honest with their kids?

bigboab
03-17-2014, 06:36 PM
should kids be honest with their parents?


Does truth destroy credibility?

Darth Sushi
03-17-2014, 07:24 PM
in a job interview, yes


how do i turn off caps-lock?

megabyteme
03-17-2014, 07:31 PM
Suck the space bar.

Is it OK to use ALL CAPS if you are deaf?

Stehle
03-17-2014, 07:48 PM
Perhaps, but only if the person reading is hard of hearing.

What does "DNA" really mean?

Darth Sushi
03-17-2014, 08:23 PM
do not adopt


my keyboard has a return key...where's the borrow key?

bigboab
03-18-2014, 07:39 AM
al the high numbers under this key %

do you need a lot of dough to be a role model for a bakery firm?

Darth Sushi
03-19-2014, 05:24 AM
nope, just a bikini


Does fudge taste bad if it's shaped like dog shit?

megabyteme
03-19-2014, 07:13 AM
Only the leftovers.

Could meatloaf been named anything other than meatloaf?

bigboab
03-19-2014, 09:45 PM
yes, rehash.



Why have I not won the lottery this week?

Darth Sushi
03-19-2014, 09:48 PM
because you lost last week


If the president was a lesbian, would her partner be the first dyke?

bigboab
03-20-2014, 09:33 PM
only if they went Dutch


Why are some women called stars when they don't have a twinkle?

Darth Sushi
03-21-2014, 06:41 PM
cuz they are only safe to look at from a distance


Why do all toasters have a setting which burns your toast to ashes?

bigboab
03-21-2014, 06:50 PM
they are made by bakers


why do people drink more than they can manage?

megabyteme
03-21-2014, 08:12 PM
They manage, just NOT with grace. :no:

How much is too much?

dion09529
03-21-2014, 08:42 PM
a lil bit.

We'll die someday?

bigboab
03-21-2014, 09:10 PM
who are we?


what was the count of monte cristo total?

Darth Sushi
03-23-2014, 02:15 AM
i for imaginary number since it's a work of fiction


If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

bigboab
03-23-2014, 03:36 AM
you would be escorted to the nearest mental facility after you got treatment for scratches.


What did happen?:lol:

megabyteme
03-23-2014, 04:14 AM
Gotta love the interwebs:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqV2z0ZiQIc


Is there anything NOT online?

bigboab
03-23-2014, 10:31 AM
bloody trains:angry:


Should we bring back teaching in schools and colleges?

dion09529
03-23-2014, 03:29 PM
Yes, cuz is making us smarter.

Why does a silly, little, anti-american, booger eating boa snake, likes to bite people instead of eating its boogers by sticking his tongue up his nose and make himself embrassed in front of 1,000 people, because it was for a prize that it just couldn't live without his dad & his pig because he loved to eat fries with chocolate syrup inside a pie but he couldn't do his homework without listening to music and doing the moonwalk in top of a mountain, crying because he wanted to drink some coffee but he had an idea: he could use bending tools to straighten out his lazy dance shoes from his knee and start to run like a crazy ape wanting to eat a banana pie and drink a milkshake with it because he likes how they taste because they remind him of those days in Long Island where he played with his balls with his friends and then he decided to make pancakes because he could wrap them around a tree or throw to attract some squirrels to find a key looks like a big apple and everyone wants to say weeeeeeeeeee, so why does he can't play soccer when he's planning to fly like a shark and he doesn't like being chased by monkeys so his grandma told him that bees are yellow because they fart really loud so all bears wear nose clips and slippers so they could keep their nose and their feet warm when winter comes and this way they could make a new coat for their babies to play outside and not get a cold and he found a big shoe inside his mouth and he took it out cuz it tasted like his dad's smelly socks and it made him throw up lots of fish guts and butter so he decided to go fishing with his pen pal who wears tons of socks and loves to play poker at a big cafe in some place near their town and tries to invade an old lady's house for taking the cookies that tasted like a hundred year old bread?

megabyteme
03-23-2014, 06:43 PM
:yawn: http://www.mjjcommunity.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-41128.html?

Dion: Environmental or birth defect?

dion09529
03-23-2014, 09:21 PM
Neither, cuz you're keep quoting me.

What's the next question?

bigboab
03-24-2014, 08:21 AM
the one after the last answer



where are we all, or y'all going to end up?

babydoll
03-24-2014, 12:40 PM
Up your bum.

Where does Santa Claus live?

dion09529
03-24-2014, 01:19 PM
In Rovaniemi.

What's this? (I'm requesting a serious answer)

megabyteme
03-24-2014, 02:53 PM
It means your copy of Window$ is as cheap as yer mum's handbag.

Is it considered a "mercy killing" if it only serves the ones around that person?

bigboab
03-24-2014, 06:44 PM
No! It is then becomes a merci killing


Am I stupid if I cant think of a stupid question?

megabyteme
03-24-2014, 06:50 PM
The brightest stars burn out the fastest. :console:

If every dog gets a day, what do cats get?

bigboab
03-24-2014, 07:21 PM
milk and cat food



Should grandchildren buy Easter eggs for their grandad?

Stehle
03-26-2014, 12:48 AM
Yes, but only on Easter.

What does a "Good Friday" mean if it turns out bad?

megabyteme
03-26-2014, 05:54 AM
Chances are it won't be as bad for you as the first one was for Big J. At least we can hope...

What would Einstein say to people with time on their hands?

bigboab
03-26-2014, 07:56 AM
get a job



Why cant they get gas from a wind farm?

Stehle
05-30-2014, 10:26 PM
They don't have flatulent strong enough.

Is there ever enough?

bigboab
05-31-2014, 06:55 AM
depends whether you are smelling a rose or a fart

Are politicians elected to represent themselves?

Stehle
05-31-2014, 08:40 PM
Yes (Most even pay themselves too.)

Who is dumber than a rock?

bigboab
06-03-2014, 08:40 PM
mrs rock

why am I not in my bed?

megabyteme
06-04-2014, 02:02 AM
Mrs Boab

Why do we let women boss us around?

bigboab
06-04-2014, 06:45 AM
to stop going deaf


when is it too early in the morning?

megabyteme
06-04-2014, 01:25 PM
because ...

This game isn't called, "Prove your mother should have smothered you at birth". :dry:

Stehle
07-03-2014, 06:35 PM
When the rooster dies from lack of sleep.

How deep is too deep?

megabyteme
07-03-2014, 07:30 PM
I've been told repeatedly when it hits the uterus it gets painful. :shifty:

Is child labor really wrong?

bigboab
07-03-2014, 08:05 PM
It is the most common way to get into this world


do you think that Oleg is taking the piss out off the lounge?

dion09529
07-03-2014, 08:14 PM
no.

who iz bigboab?

bigboab
07-03-2014, 08:16 PM
a figment of my imagination



what is the name of the worlds smallest mountain?

dion09529
07-03-2014, 08:26 PM
Lilliput Mountain.

Will Costa Rica win the World Cup defeating The Netherlands, Argentina and Brazil?

bigboab
07-03-2014, 08:33 PM
they cant play them all in one game


what is the costa rica?

megabyteme
07-03-2014, 09:39 PM
About tree fiddy.

Where would you go to get away from it all?

Stehle
07-04-2014, 04:03 AM
"I plead the 5th osifer."

What is an OlegL?

bigboab
07-04-2014, 06:36 AM
the person? just below olegm


can I go out to play?

Stehle
07-05-2014, 06:19 PM
no (...its raining and you may melt or rust your rocker even!)

Why is thunder after lightning?

bigboab
07-06-2014, 08:24 AM
because when most people see the lightning they start shitting themselves


should we be forced to listen to musak?

Stehle
07-11-2014, 05:53 PM
Yes, cutting ones ears off would hurt.

Does all music stem from the classical types?

TheFoX
07-13-2014, 12:11 PM
Only when they fart.

Why does Oleg post on this forum, when he could be getting laid?

bigboab
07-13-2014, 05:57 PM
he gets his thrills from duping some members on the forum


why is six times three not twenty?

Stehle
07-23-2014, 05:07 PM
It is if you already have too.

Is life a joke?

bigboab
07-23-2014, 09:01 PM
nobody is looking forward to the punch line

where have all the flying saucers gone to?

TheFoX
07-27-2014, 10:10 PM
They have gone too long, or too short, depending on your own internal perspective.

Why does shit stink?

bigboab
07-28-2014, 07:29 AM
to prevent sewage workers losing their environmental bonus



why is fly fishing so secretive?

Darth Sushi
08-11-2014, 07:33 AM
because the fishes are in school


Do blind people feel 'Love at first sight'?

bigboab
08-11-2014, 07:53 AM
they are like the rest of us, starts with a fumble.


who guides a blind dog?

Darth Sushi
08-12-2014, 05:42 AM
squirrels


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

bigboab
08-12-2014, 06:51 AM
it is too expensive to employ a pied piper type to catch them

why do salmon leap?

Darth Sushi
08-13-2014, 02:12 AM
because they cannot hop


If Noah had woodpeckers on the ark, where did he keep them?

bigboab
08-13-2014, 06:42 AM
in a cage fed by a saline drip.

why does water not fall off the earth?

megabyteme
08-13-2014, 08:22 AM
Water forms in puddles; puddles are stuck to the ground with mud.

Why must I always explain science to you guys?

bigboab
08-13-2014, 05:42 PM
everyone has their niche:cry:


why does the mud not fall of the earth? Oh! great one.:rolleyes:

megabyteme
08-13-2014, 06:27 PM
At the center of the earth is a giant boot. Everyone knows mud only comes off boots onto carpets.

Suicide is illegal. What's a fair punishment?

bigboab
08-13-2014, 07:06 PM
rescussitation. recuss. rescit. CPR


why don't we drown when we drink water?

Darth Sushi
08-14-2014, 07:55 AM
cuz you were wearing a life jacket


Are witches good spell checkers?

bigboab
08-14-2014, 08:37 AM
yes, it is part of their charm



can a house doctor help you to lay bricks?

Darth Sushi
08-14-2014, 05:49 PM
nope, but they can help you when you shit bricks


Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Alien5
08-14-2014, 05:52 PM
good lord yes

so er yes can a roll of white toilet tissue hold the weight of an average human man?

bigboab
08-14-2014, 06:24 PM
only if he is flush


are time travellers locked in clocks?

Darth Sushi
08-19-2014, 06:05 PM
when they're in the bathroom


Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

bigboab
08-19-2014, 08:28 PM
only if your bark is worse than your bite


what is the point of tides?

megabyteme
08-19-2014, 08:33 PM
Clam population control.

Why isn't the spork available everywhere?

Darth Sushi
08-20-2014, 02:57 PM
it's only popular with rednecks


Do pilots take crash-courses?

dion09529
08-20-2014, 10:22 PM
No; crash-courses are for parachutists.

What's the opposite of a humming-bird?

bigboab
08-21-2014, 07:57 AM
a clean, scented one


what holds water together?

megabyteme
08-21-2014, 12:41 PM
Ice.

Why don't stoners wear high heels?

bigboab
08-21-2014, 01:00 PM
to be able to get down and dirty

why do they call them high rise flats when they are flat and don't rise.

megabyteme
08-21-2014, 02:00 PM
In NY, it has to do with the rent.

Why don't we call New York, "York" now that it's no longer new?

bigboab
08-21-2014, 04:20 PM
it would confuse the postmen and they would start delivering on time.


when Niagara falls who picks it up?

megabyteme
08-21-2014, 06:00 PM
Canadians. They are FAR more concerned with environmental stuffs. US just lets it go downstream.

Is it a swing set when there's only one swing?

bigboab
08-21-2014, 06:21 PM
if you swing there are three


how do you know when you have gone too far?

Speedo
08-21-2014, 06:26 PM
if you swing there are three


how do you know when you have gone too far?

when you haven't seen a sign in a while

why is beer cheaper than a bus ticket?

bigboab
08-21-2014, 06:31 PM
your final destination is unknown


what were railway stations used for before they invented rail travel?

Darth Sushi
08-22-2014, 03:22 PM
Farmer's Markets


Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

bigboab
08-22-2014, 07:06 PM
they return less ashes


apparently your whole life 'flashes' just before you drown. How do we know?

Darth Sushi
08-23-2014, 05:19 PM
it's saved in your flash card


How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?

bigboab
08-23-2014, 07:12 PM
it is mower of a virtual thingy



why do they make those dog litter bins too high up for dogs to use them?

Darth Sushi
08-24-2014, 03:37 PM
to force your dog to stretch


What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

bigboab
08-24-2014, 05:26 PM
they get things off your chest


why can all Chinese children speak the local language?

Darth Sushi
08-24-2014, 10:05 PM
cuz U R always hungry again after eating Chinese food 30 minutes later


What happened to the first 6-UPs?

bigboab
08-25-2014, 07:10 AM
they lost their bottle



why don't members of parliament keep their promises?

Stehle
08-29-2014, 06:07 PM
For the same reason the Senate and Congress don't.

Would you vote to elect a MarvelŪ Super Hero?

megabyteme
08-29-2014, 06:28 PM
Why not, the (Washington) DC ones aren't for shit.

Would you wish to be 'super sexy' if it only worked to attract your same sex?

bigboab
08-29-2014, 06:50 PM
if I had to pay for it ok. then I would be buy sexual.


why does drift wood end up on the beach?

megabyteme
08-29-2014, 06:55 PM
It comes from ancient Japanese sports cars. They built with what they had at the time. Everyone littered then.

What will we do when the oceans run out of fish?

bigboab
08-29-2014, 07:01 PM
whale meat again



why does the camera man who runs backwards in front of Bolt not get a gold medal?

Stehle
08-30-2014, 04:48 PM
Not running fast enough I believe.

Is the grass always greener on the other side?

bigboab
08-30-2014, 06:46 PM
it is only because they wont mow it


how many light bulbs would it take to screw in a man?

Darth Sushi
09-04-2014, 10:17 PM
none, man is already screwed up


Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

bigboab
09-05-2014, 06:51 AM
a dual carriageway is a double string of perils


how do you change gear when driving nude?

Stehle
09-05-2014, 08:37 PM
shift (...and hope you grab the correct knob!)

How fast is a run?

bigboab
09-06-2014, 10:17 AM
depends whether it is diarrhea or just urgent.


is the highest mountain also part of the deepest valley?

Stehle
09-06-2014, 08:43 PM
Yes

Are we there yet?

Darth Sushi
09-07-2014, 09:42 PM
no


Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

bigboab
09-08-2014, 06:51 AM
it is just a smoke screen


why do cowboys like chaps on their knees?

Darth Sushi
09-11-2014, 02:34 AM
It's better to have chaps on your knees instead of your arse just in case diarrhea strikes quickly


When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

bigboab
09-11-2014, 07:03 AM
snoopy


where do they get water to put in bottles?

Darth Sushi
09-12-2014, 01:40 AM
Antarctica


Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

bigboab
09-12-2014, 06:48 AM
only if someone is watching


if the sun fails to rise in the morning who would wake it up?

megabyteme
09-13-2014, 04:43 AM
The night shift is usually looking to go home after a long night of drunks, bums, and teens with noisy mufflers, so they know to put in a call if the morning crew doesn't show.

If the sun started slacking off (missing shifts, swerving in the sky, getting inflammatory remarks tattooed in visible places) should it get fired? Or suspended?

bigboab
09-13-2014, 06:51 AM
you can do what you want with it. we never see it anyway(Scotland)


If a house is a semi, what would it be if it really got excited?

Stehle
09-19-2014, 05:46 PM
a full house

Do both sexes get a right to vote if Scotland secedes from the UK? (It took 100's of years for that to happen here in the states.)

megabyteme
09-19-2014, 06:23 PM
Scotland is a small place, it is unlikely the hermaphrodite vote will be much of an issue.

Since dieters drink skim milk, why not use expired whole milk on their enchiladas?

bigboab
09-19-2014, 08:17 PM
because there is a fat chance that they would not like it


why cant penguins fly? (not the chocolate biscuit)

megabyteme
09-19-2014, 08:42 PM
Ice on the wing is a serious problem for most aviators.

Do Hawaiians enjoy junk email more than other places?

bigboab
09-20-2014, 06:58 AM
yes, it is canned music to their ears


who was the brilliant town planner who built stations exactly where the trains would arrive?

richasis
09-28-2014, 01:32 PM
As always, the best-trained one.

How many stars are there in the universe (besides Burt Reynolds)?

bigboab
09-29-2014, 06:05 PM
infinite+one(Burt)


why do people distrust me?

Darth Sushi
10-01-2014, 12:32 AM
They distrust those polka dot shorts on your avatar.



If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

megabyteme
10-01-2014, 04:58 AM
humas

Under what circumstance would you be willing to eat a family member?

bigboab
10-01-2014, 05:14 PM
if someone else cooks them


could you sleep if you had to listen to musak all night?

Darth Sushi
10-04-2014, 11:50 PM
only with a good uppercut to the chin


How do I set my laser printer on stun?

bigboab
10-05-2014, 07:01 AM
hit it with a hammer


do carpet layers get piles?

Stehle
10-10-2014, 12:05 AM
Only if they sit on the carpet to long.

How are light bulbs really made?

bigboab
10-10-2014, 08:17 AM
They take all the heavy stuff out off them


Where does the electricity go when you switch a light off?

dion09529
10-11-2014, 06:17 PM
It's converted into money into our pockets/accounts.

Does snails got nails?

bigboab
10-12-2014, 06:42 AM
only if they shell out for them


how do bus drivers get home at night?

Stehle
10-12-2014, 10:45 PM
they walk

Why do far sighted people need glasses?

megabyteme
10-13-2014, 06:09 AM
Glasses are more fashionable than a helmet.

Why don't the people who get upset over zoos oppose aquarium fish captivity?

bigboab
10-13-2014, 06:52 AM
they keep forgetting what they are supposed to be opposing


what do prime ministers prime?

megabyteme
10-13-2014, 12:35 PM
Other Autobots.

What does a President dent?

bigboab
10-13-2014, 05:07 PM
your hopes of a better future


how many conservationists did it take to change all light bulbs?

megabyteme
10-13-2014, 05:39 PM
Tree.

Why don't salmon just evolve and learn to walk around dams?

bigboab
10-13-2014, 06:47 PM
it would be a leap too far in evolution


what is the actual height of insolence?

Darth Sushi
10-15-2014, 11:51 PM
√-1



What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice?

bigboab
10-16-2014, 10:06 AM
I heard you the first time


where do you go to let it all hang out?

Stehle
10-18-2014, 12:36 AM
the hospital

What is beautiful?

bigboab
10-18-2014, 06:59 AM
the reflection of a mirror


why are there no three legged creatures?

Shinzen
10-26-2014, 10:30 AM
coz they have a tail

why tide Goes In, Tide Goes Out ?

bigboab
10-26-2014, 07:45 PM
to give us more room on the beach in summertime


why do people play games?

Darth Sushi
11-10-2014, 02:57 AM
cuz there is nothing good on TV


If corn can't hear, why does it have an ear?

bigboab
11-10-2014, 06:38 PM
for the same reason a storm has an eye


why do the police not arrest everybody with a jacket over their head. most criminals seen on the news has a jacket over their heads.

Darth Sushi
12-21-2014, 08:06 PM
Because that is the jurisdiction of the fashion police



Are you technically telling the truth if you lie in bed?

bigboab
12-28-2014, 08:06 AM
only if you cover it up


what brilliant planner put the stations exactly where the trains arrive?

Darth Sushi
12-28-2014, 06:13 PM
me


Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell?

bigboab
12-28-2014, 08:57 PM
only if it is scent first class


what can a tin can do that a can cant?

Darth Sushi
12-29-2014, 04:20 AM
drink from a tin cup


Why are violets blue and not violet?

bigboab
12-29-2014, 05:48 PM
they don't want to be a pansy


Why is the television screen always at the front of the box?

Darth Sushi
12-30-2014, 07:50 PM
because the matter, antimatter inducer must be aligned with the tube's nacelle and the front of the box


If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

bigboab
12-30-2014, 09:02 PM
it is a job for to die son


where does the dust come from in an empty room?

Darth Sushi
01-01-2015, 01:34 AM
pixie


Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

bigboab
01-01-2015, 05:05 PM
in case you are blind drunk



can cows graze in a coal or oil field?

Darth Sushi
01-02-2015, 02:16 AM
sure, just light a fire and you got BBQ



When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?

bigboab
01-02-2015, 09:27 AM
only pantomime cows

where does all the water go when the tide goes out?

Darth Sushi
01-03-2015, 06:21 AM
lunch


Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?

bigboab
01-03-2015, 07:03 PM
your nose is running away from your smelly feet


if carrots are good for your eyesight why don't opticians sell them?

Darth Sushi
01-04-2015, 05:41 PM
the rabbits refuse to grant permission



Is it really possible to have a "civil" war?

bigboab
01-04-2015, 09:10 PM
As long as you don't take liberties


why don't plums grow exactly in the centre of the tree?

Darth Sushi
01-06-2015, 01:40 AM
plumb-bob keeps eating the center plums



Why did Noah not swat those two mosquitoes?

bigboab
01-06-2015, 06:15 PM
because it was not in Russell Crowe's script

did god tell Moses to keep taking the tablets?

Darth Sushi
01-07-2015, 09:00 AM
no, he said switch to capsules



If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

bigboab
01-07-2015, 06:56 PM
yes, because you will be returning to your previous weight


if you do not put anything between two slices of bread is it still a sandwich?

Darth Sushi
01-14-2015, 11:18 PM
yup, a jammed sandwich :whistling



Do all screwdrivers belong to Phillip?

bigboab
01-15-2015, 04:49 PM
especially the one in the Paris underpass


instead of turning left, if you went straight on, would you be right?

cleptomaniac
01-16-2015, 05:47 AM
No since you obviously are blind!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

bigboab
01-16-2015, 07:44 AM
one hundred and fifty two


do you have to dress in black to be a terrorist?

Darth Sushi
01-20-2015, 08:25 PM
only an asshole



Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

bigboab
01-20-2015, 08:54 PM
it's a chance thingy


why does a cat have nine lives

dion09529
01-20-2015, 09:03 PM
To avoid extinction.

Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

bigboab
01-20-2015, 09:14 PM
if they hold your money, then you're broke

does a bank teller gossip about your bank details?

Stehle
02-06-2015, 08:12 PM
No, if their wise they won't.

Why is it not wise to wear a hat, dark sunglasses and scarf (bandanna) upon entering a bank?

bigboab
02-07-2015, 08:01 AM
because you would be indecent if that was all that you were wearing


when jesus walked on water did his followers drown?

Darth Sushi
02-15-2015, 09:16 AM
drown in debt



When we say our mind wanders - where does it go?

bigboab
02-16-2015, 05:26 PM
it just means that we are nomad


do all cats use their nine lives?

Stehle
03-03-2015, 09:07 PM
no, some save for their retirement.

Have we reached a quantum reality yet?

bigboab
03-04-2015, 11:18 AM
yes and no


when we reach maturity are we asking to get picked?

Stehle
03-06-2015, 12:55 AM
yes, age ripens us.

Where would one find hot women?

megabyteme
03-06-2015, 02:40 AM
On my Barbie-Q

Where's Idol?

Stehle
03-06-2015, 04:57 PM
Below the mountain Moses came down from with the 10 Commandments.

How does one delete some of his PM's?

(...or could it just be broke?) :alien:

bigboab
03-06-2015, 06:17 PM
put a cover over the screen


is it impossible to become adept if one is inept?

Stehle
03-10-2015, 11:30 PM
Yes

Does stupid breed?

bigboab
03-11-2015, 09:59 AM
yes, on a large scale but large scales are hard to find.



is it easy to take a fence if you have a large number of posts?

Stehle
03-15-2015, 10:04 PM
yes, unless they're REALLY stupid in this thread. or yes, it is easy to advance to the other side if you "fence" is made out of envelopes (posts) even many.


When it rains does it pour?

bigboab
03-16-2015, 01:24 PM
only if you go outdoors


are vegans allowed to eat triffids?

Stehle
03-28-2015, 02:42 PM
yes

What would one choose for their last meal?

megabyteme
03-28-2015, 03:36 PM
RealtY

Do corporate scumbags ever have a moment of realization that their lives are void of meaning?

Darth Sushi
03-28-2015, 04:07 PM
only when jail is imminent


Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?

bigboab
03-28-2015, 06:19 PM
only the nuts


is taking the rise out off someone an euphemism?

Stehle
03-28-2015, 06:33 PM
Actually its call a Leg Amputation.

Why is a "stroke" considered a golf term?

Darth Sushi
07-10-2015, 07:55 AM
It's not as crude as a tosser



Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

bigboab
07-11-2015, 06:38 AM
it is because they do not wash


where does the wind go, other than up my kilt?

Darth Sushi
07-11-2015, 07:18 PM
hot air balloons (immediately after passing through your kilt)



Which is the other side of the street?

bigboab
07-12-2015, 06:37 AM
the side where you started helping the chicken across the road


how much is too much?

Darth Sushi
07-12-2015, 08:50 PM
When you wake up in jail with a cellmate named Bubba who keeps staring at your arse.



Why do people tell you when they are speechless?

bigboab
07-13-2015, 11:38 AM
because they know you are not listening



can you freeze steam?