Dark Humor Thread

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/SGmAsN3.jpg


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Source: http://imgur.com/a/PZiOn?gallery

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/84BlJBK.png

[megabyteme]

Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolate- they'll kill your dog.

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Why doesn't Ebola medicine work in Africa?

It can't be taken on an empty stomach.

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On a flight to Japan, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.
"I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of relationships in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril and they all stare riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a business man stands up in the rear of the plane.
"I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Well-dressed, tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."

[megabyteme]

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

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http://i.imgur.com/pUGo5oZ.gifv

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/eqtp0Ho.jpg

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/PwJYASl.jpg

[dion09529]

On a flight to Japan, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.
"I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of relationships in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril and they all stare riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a business man stands up in the rear of the plane.
"I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Well-dressed, tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."

http://i749.photobucket.com/albums/xx136/dion_ava/good-joke-bro_zpsccb484b7.jpg

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/9xaPNIa.jpg

[dion09529]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQmuoCdwQrk

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/Fmqlkdr.png

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/VUECEmi.jpg

[megabyteme]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-axJTzj0VU

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/mjasnzT.png

[megabyteme]

From Reddit (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2u4q2q/what_is_your_most_offensive_joke/):


Two pregnant women sitting in the waiting room of an abortion clinic, one knitting a cute little onesie and humming. The second woman, growing more and more uncomfortable, finally blurts out "what are you thinking knitting a little outfit around other women in a situation like this!". Startled, the woman holds up the outfit.. "Oh it's not an outfit, it's a body bag"


What would Martin Luther King be if he wasn't black?
Alive.


What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13.


Whats a word the begins with N, ends in R and you never want to a call a black person?
Neighbor


Some black guy just came up to me and asked if there's a colored printer in the library. I was just like "Dude, it's 2015, you can use any printer you want!"


What's the difference between Santa and a jew?
Santa goes DOWN the chimney.


Why are black people like bikes?... neither work when their chains are off.


NEWS title:
Special Olympics T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/T5O3d6q.png

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/44bTugS.png?2

[Voetsek]

http://b3ta.com/ Lekker site

[anon]

This story takes place in a little town of a South American country...
There are municipal elections, and a gay party presents itself.
It ends up winning by a tremendous landslide.
The national press takes interest on such an unprecedented fact and asks the townfolk about it, to which they answer:
"If they're gonna fuck us in the ass, at least let them be pros."

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/Z0PiOno.jpg?2

[hawk8man8]

Funny, :D...

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/cI6og1b.png

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/FGVlWb6.jpg

[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/ZYcUdoM.png

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[megabyteme]

http://i.imgur.com/HkGRXGk.jpg