One sentence movie reviews

[IdolEyes787]

Hercules (2014) The level of fuck up by whoever wrote the script is truly awe inspiring.

[IdolEyes787]

Curse of the Werewolf (1961) It was boring at first by then things got hairy.

See.See what you made me do you unappreciative cunt.


Cuz it's a new thread that increase the posts count.

Yeah like I expect anyone to actually post.:mellow:

Hey dion,only five more posts and you'll finally be a man.
May I suggest for the 1000th one some sort of short essay extolling why Meg should be made a Mod.:)

[megabyteme]

Layer Cake. I was looking forward to watching it, but was too tired from building the chicken coop to watch it. :(

[megabyteme]

Layer Cake update: Smart film that distinguishes itself from the other "smart" British gangster films by actually being intelligent, unpredictable, and unglorifying.

[Rart]

Avengers Age of Ultron: I'm a big James Spader fan but even he isn't enough to save a movie that's more concerned with drawn out action scenes than actual plot.

[IdolEyes787]

Actually it's biggest concern was expanding the Marvel/Disney franchise so all the studio executives could afford bigger yachts. After that the motivation gets sketchier.

[IdolEyes787]

McFarland USA

A familiar story somewhat elevated by above average acting and directing.

[megabyteme]

Chappie

If you've ever wanted to see a robot develop artificial intelligence then learn to be 'gangsta', watch this movie and/or kill yourself.

[IdolEyes787]

Mad Max: Fury Road

Short on story,long on action but generally terrific.

[megabyteme]

Maybe this will help illustrate to Shay the the difference of a letter here and there...

http://i.imgur.com/CIP64r2.jpg?1

[IdolEyes787]

I'm sort of surprised that someone so devoid of originality had the actual ambition to create a fake poster.

[megabyteme]

I cut the bottom of it off because I didn't think their whateveritwas deserved attention.

It is interesting, though, in that while trying to search google for "mad max furry road", I got quick screen flashes of "millennium act " then a jump to the "correct" fu[B]ry road results. I could not opt-in to see the results I actually was looking for. Apparently, satire and misspellings are now protected against. :ermm:

[shaina]

Maybe this will help illustrate to Shay the the difference of a letter here and there...
http://i.imgur.com/CIP64r2.jpg?1

As long as the fury actor got the part over the Drunk Jew Hater (and I am not talking about you Idol) , the movie has a chance for success and me viewing it....:yup:


Mad Max: Fury Road
Short on story,long on action but generally terrific.

Holy Dog Poop!! You actually like a movie ??:yikes: It must be good if it got your seal of approval:clap:

[IdolEyes787]

As long as the fury actor got the part over the Drunk Jew Hater (and I am not talking about you Idol) ,

It's not so much a hate as an intense dislike.

As for Fury Road it's limited in what it does but what it does do it does do very well.
Alliteration.:01:

Sort of a rottweiler of vehicular mayhem compared to Furious #'s ghey poodle.

[megabyteme]

It is holding a solid "9" on IMDB. Good news is that there is already a watchable (pretty good video quality) cam. All we need is someone to grab some line audio and sync it up. :cool:

[IdolEyes787]

It is holding a solid "9" on IMDB.

In that case I'd like to amend my review and say that Fury Road is shit.

Unfortunately still unable to wrap my head around the fact that a site where the de facto "best movie ever" is Shawshank Redemption can possibly be right about anything.:unsure:

[megabyteme]

Ex_Machina is a very solid film that uses its resources wisely (11 Million Lbs. :P )- to strengthen the story, not beat us over the head with dazzling effects.

[IdolEyes787]

Avengers Age of Ultron: I'm a big James Spader fan but even he isn't enough to save a movie that's more concerned with drawn out action scenes than actual plot.

Added a lot of humour which ironically seems to have sucked a lot of the fun out of the movie.

On a side note,when did the Hulk actually ever work as a character and not simply a plot device?

Also,Thanos. Of great,another completely computer generated villain to look forward to. :dabs:

[megabyteme]

Shatner would have played Ultron better. "Denny Crane. Ultron."

[IdolEyes787]

Although not a movie, if the producers of Supergirl specifically set out to destroy the last forty years of the women's movement, then bravo on a job well done.

[IdolEyes787]

Perfect Pitch 2 is a good example of why they shouldn't make sequels.

[megabyteme]

Mad Max Fury Road is a good example of why 30 years between sequels should be the minimum amount time for them to be acceptable- now give me Conan the King, as promised by the original...

And it BETTER be rated 'R'.

[IdolEyes787]

Conan without Sandahl Bergman wouldn't have been nearly as good so hopefully they cast some sexy large breasted babe and dress in some scantily clad outfit a strong woman.

Sort of like my fantasies only with bigger boobs and less clothes.

[megabyteme]

They did really have chemistry in that movie.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRM2tb4zav0


She would have made Red Sonja more watchable, also.

[ziggyjuarez]

161077
Good for having mila kunis as the lead actress.

[megabyteme]

^I like the leads in it, but turned it off in absolute disgust of how stupid it was.

[ziggyjuarez]

I can see how you would.It was a good kind of bad for me, like those syfy channel movies.

[IdolEyes787]

San Andreas

Things were better before piracy when the possibility of wasting of money would have prevented me from subjecting myself to shit like this.

Anyone who thinks there is anything good about the steaming pile probably needs to die in an earthquake if just for the sake of evolution.

Still all in all, better than this site though.:)

[IdolEyes787]

Jurassic World(2015)

Hopefully one of these days Hollywood will discover that you can't just hang $100 million dollars of FX on a boatload of stupid and expect it to be a good movie.
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Seriously, and I'm not even trying to be funny, a reasonably bright 10 year old could have written this.Maybe even with better flow to what here passes as a story.
That's not to say that the film isn't without some entertainment value.It just sets it's sights so low and unfortunately hits the mark.

Also even though this is clearly aimed at the preteen market, if you are going to make a movie about little more than dinosaurs eating people, then shouldn't you are least actually make it a tad more horrific? Especially since in the film they go on about dinosaurs by themselves just aren't scary enough anymore.

[Gribley]

chitty chitty bang bang (1968)

Wank arse sing-along

[megabyteme]

Jurassic World(2015)

Hopefully one of these days Hollywood will discover that you can't just hang $100 million dollars of FX on a boatload of stupid and expect it to be a good movie.


Jurassic World (http://www.theverge.com/2015/6/10/8756689/jurassic-world-review-dinosaurs-steven-spielberg) has turned into quite the blockbuster hit. The film has crushed industry estimates, and has raked in a record $511.8 million globally, making it the first to ever break half a billion dollars over its opening weekend. That number comes from $204.6 million domestically, just shy of The Avengers' record $207.4 million weekend haul in 2012

Yeah, that'll teach 'em a lesson!

[IdolEyes787]

I knew it would make money but that surprised even the studio as it was projecting about half that.

Obviously factors like the audience age for movies in theaters has been steadily dropping for over the last thirty years, the price of a ticket is triple what it use to be, the nostalgia for the first movie and the obvious total lack of taste by general public.

I only added the last because there have been a handful of really good sci-fi movies released in the last few years and almost all have suffered an ignominious death.

I defy you to watch this film (there's a very watchable cam out right now) and tell me that it's not stupid beyond belief.Which would be OK if it wasn't a the same time taking itself so fucking seriously.

[megabyteme]

I finished my class last night, so I'll have more meeeeee time now. :w00t: I have already downloaded that TS, so I'll flip a coin to determine whether I smash my hand with a hammer to dull the pain before or afterwards.

[Demonictoyz]

Automata : id need more than one line to sum up how S#*T it was....

[IdolEyes787]

I'm afraid those are the rules and nothing will happen if you break them.

[megabyteme]

Automata : id need more than one line to sum up how S#*T it was....

It wasn't so much stitty as it should have been made as a 30 minute short.

[piercerseth]

I defy you to watch this film (there's a very watchable cam out right now) and tell me that it's not stupid beyond belief.Which would be OK if it wasn't a the same time taking itself so fucking seriously.

Grabbed the Hive-CM8 ts. Instead of lamenting the loss of Stan Winston's practical FX, or any kind of meaningful ensemble, I'll simply mention how good looking Bryce Howard is.

Joking aside, Vincent D'onofrio was terribly underutilized. Watching him ham it up was the only highlight.

[megabyteme]

Vincent D'onofrio was terribly underutilized. Watching him ham it up was the only highlight.

Only just recognized him as Pyle while going through the Daredevil series. In retrospect, he did such an amazing job (in FMJ) pushing both his soft side, as well as his dark, unstable side, that his typical "middle place" demeanor never really stood out as being the same person. Only now do I remember seeing him in things over the years. Such a HUGE part of that film is owed to him and R. Lee Ermey.

[IdolEyes787]

Joking aside, Vincent D'onofrio was terribly underutilized. Watching him ham it up was the only highlight.

He should be good as there's literally twice as much of him now.:mellow:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rnTpR4M1ZI

Batman seems to know what he's talking about.


You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.



Grabbed the Hive-CM8 ts. Instead of lamenting the loss of Stan Winston's practical FX, or any kind of meaningful ensemble, I'll simply mention how good looking Bryce Howard is.




I am a big fan of the blue eyes, pale skin and red hair thing but she's always had a tendency to blimp up.

[megabyteme]

[video=Adventures in Babysitting]

I'm not sure how well it would hold up to modern rewatching, but I have fond memories of Adventures in Babysitting. :happy:

[IdolEyes787]

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xou2zy_palmetto-elisabeth-shue_redband

Sexiest search ever.

[megabyteme]

I liked her in Leaving Las Vegas, as well. I doubt you liked that one because they don't buy puppies at the end, but I always like actresses who are willing to play down-and-dirty roles. I also think she looked her best in parts of that.

[IdolEyes787]

Nicholas Cage dies so it can't be entirely bad.:idunno:

[megabyteme]

[video=You'll NEVER guess what Elisabeth-Shue is hiding!!![/video]

Sexiest search ever.

This was pre-9/11. Now, that's just standard operating procedure for boarding an airplane. :no:

[IdolEyes787]

The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power:mellow:

If you have an extremely limited budget wouldn't your money be better spent on hiring a good scriptwriter rather than a bunch of has-been stars like Bostick,Biehn,Walsh,Hauer and Ferrigno?

[Funkin']

Sucks to read about Jurassic World, I was looking forward to it.

Silent Night Deadly Night:

Meh. A lot better 80's horror out there

[IdolEyes787]

Kung Fu Elliot (2014)

Crazy is as crazy does.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoNLanfCMGo

[megabyteme]

^Sadly, I've come across more than a couple of people who have had (almost) the same delusions. Mod-90's I met some wanna-be goth/vampires. I don't think any one of them paid their rent within the month it was due. Several of the others just crashed with them.

And the movie set I worked on was FILLED with drifters (who traveled to various independent films) with their own dreams of greatness. :rolleyes:


-------------------------------------


Jurassic World(2015)

Hopefully one of these days Hollywood will discover that you can't just hang $100 million dollars of FX on a boatload of stupid and expect it to be a good movie.
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Seriously, and I'm not even trying to be funny, a reasonably bright 10 year old could have written this.Maybe even with better flow to what here passes as a story.
That's not to say that the film isn't without some entertainment value.It just sets it's sights so low and unfortunately hits the mark.

Also even though this is clearly aimed at the preteen market, if you are going to make a movie about little more than dinosaurs eating people, then shouldn't you are least actually make it a tad more horrific? Especially since in the film they go on about dinosaurs by themselves just aren't scary enough anymore.

Watched this a couple nights ago. Pissed me off right from the start that they could not even come up with an original theme song.

It was bad in the sense that they barely broke from what we've already seen. Pure formula taken from the others, which is sad. All the way down to the dying herd-o-sauruses. A bad copy of itself is just as bad as a shitty outside company making a knockoff film.

[piercerseth]

Pissed me off right from the start that they could not even come up with an original theme song
Studio execs call that an homage. Or a reprise for you Julliard types. :rolleyes:

I'm sure that control room nerd's original JP tshirt joke scored very highly with focus groups. Irony and meta commentary aren't lost on Joe "18-35" Sixpack from Omaha, NE that's for damn sure.


Speaking of movie scores, it's taking a lot of self-restrait to keep from making a James Horner decomposing joke.

[megabyteme]

Pissed me off right from the start that they could not even come up with an original theme song
Studio execs call that an homage. Or a reprise for you Julliard types. :rolleyes:

I'm sure that control room nerd's original JP tshirt joke scored very highly with focus groups. Irony and meta commentary aren't lost on Joe "18-35" Sixpack from Omaha, NE that's for damn sure.


Speaking of movie scores, it's taking a lot of self-restrait to keep from making a James Horner decomposing joke.

Cheap. The word is cheap. Like having a dinner party and serving leftovers. An homage would have worked in something reminiscent (which would have been fine), but I don't think they even bothered to upgrade the music- just grabbed it off WhatCD @320kb and pasted it in.

It makes sense, I guess, as the script was hardly original, either. :dry:

Had it been the first time we'd seen it, it would not have bee sooo bad.Just didn't have much in the way of originality, and didn't make a whole lot of sense. The whole "bond between the one who raised you is stronger than biology" just felt like it was shot at us with a Daisy air rifle.

[piercerseth]

The whole "bond between the one who raised you is stronger than biology" just felt like it was shot at us with a Daisy air rifle.

If that pile of shit is ever the impetus for a nature vs nurture debate vis-a-vis Pratt's raptorbros, then we're seriously through the looking glass. Would make for a funny Onion article.

[megabyteme]

Unfortunately, that was really the only new narrative (of sorts) in the film along with the (beaten to death) 'nature finds a way'/things that are extinct don't belong in this world/'just because man can, doesn't mean he should' theme.

Also, 'militarization is done by overly-ambitious idiots who will stop at nothing'. That was pure win. :yup:

Really, if anyone took the whole Jurassic Park franchise seriously, we would abandon all zoos because nature will always find a way to escape and kill everyone. :fear:

[piercerseth]

Unfortunately, that was really the only new narrative (of sorts) in the film along with the (beaten to death) 'nature finds a way'/things that are extinct don't belong in this world/'just because man can, doesn't mean he should' theme.

Also, 'militarization is done by overly-ambitious idiots who will stop at nothing'. That was pure win. :yup:

I think those platitudes can be expounded effectively if you have, y'know, legitimate actors to emote. Arcs help too no doubt. Goldblum's ponderings and mannerisms still crack me the fuck up. Played well against Sam Neil.

[IdolEyes787]

Sounds oddly similar to what's happened to True Detective Season 2.

[megabyteme]

When you conceived making Jurassic World, you were asking if you could, but maybe your thoughts should have been should it be made...

And $1 Billion in box office in 13 days (http://www.forbes.com/sites/scottmendelson/2015/06/22/box-office-jurassic-world-takes-13-whole-days-to-top-1-billion-worldwide/)?!!! Are these numbers to even be trusted? That is 100 Million $10 tickets. That is 1/4 the entire US population. Granted this is worldwide numbers, but just putting that into perspective. You'd expect people to be calling into work saying "Fuck it, I gotta go see JW today!!!!" and the boss going with him.

If we can't trust the movie industry, who can we trust? :(