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View Full Version : Are all English people cunts or just the ones on this site? A play in three acts.



IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 07:37 PM
I hit a bit of a creative wall after the title.I'm pretty sure the first part will involve no one replying though.

Mr. Mulder
06-19-2015, 08:24 PM
Looks like we're gonna have to try harder, lads. Some of these Johnny foreigners are still doubtful... :unsure:

I'd do something cuntish right this very second but I've just sat down to tea and crumpets :smilie4:

Gribley
06-19-2015, 08:33 PM
I hit a bit of a creative wall after the title.I'm pretty sure the first part will involve no one replying though.

So given up on the Jew bashing then.... yes we are all total fuck-wits.

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 08:45 PM
Looks like we're gonna have to try harder, lads. Some of these Johnny foreigners are still doubtful... :unsure:

I'd do something cuntish right this very second but I've just sat down to tea and crumpets :smilie4:

Let's be honest.You're country has been going downhill ever since Gunga Din killed Winston Churchill.

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 08:48 PM
So given up on the Jew bashing then.... yes we are all total fuck-wits.

Since you not actually being Jewish maybe we should ask Shay if he's felt that I've ever bashed him. :ermm:

Mr. Mulder
06-19-2015, 08:55 PM
ever since Gunga Din

I don't listen to hip hop, sorry :eyebrows:

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 08:57 PM
Obviously you being English you're more into Robbie Williams and The Dave Clark Five.

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 08:58 PM
' I've just sat down to tea and crumpets :smilie4:

Don't you mean tea with some crumpets?

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 09:01 PM
Mulder, this is basically a serious question as the only English shows I've watched are Sherlock Holmes and Big Brother.
Why do certain English accents make you sound brilliant and certain English accents make you sound like a retard?

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 09:57 PM
161663

Mr. Mulder
06-19-2015, 10:03 PM
Mulder, this is basically a serious question as the only English shows I've watched are Sherlock Holmes and Big Brother.
Why do certain English accents make you sound brilliant and certain English accents make you sound like a retard?

We call it The North and it's not polite to talk about it :ermm:

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 10:05 PM
161664

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 10:10 PM
We call it The North and it's not polite to talk about it :ermm:

In the US they call it the South,the Midwest and most of New England .

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 10:12 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ak5vYS0tvg

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 10:30 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trxFVJ82_3c

chalice
06-19-2015, 11:05 PM
Never met an Englishman on the internets who could speak English quite as good as me. Met Scots and Welsh, but never an Englishman. It's all a bit frantic.

Something in the intonation or something.

IdolEyes787
06-19-2015, 11:09 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxoHX9Z51qw

chalice
06-19-2015, 11:15 PM
Fuck Ireland. Posterity save English. I love her. The English slipped their grip on the tongue when they started invading every cunt within spitting distance.

It's the universal weapon.

IdolEyes787
06-20-2015, 12:18 AM
161667

TheFoX
06-20-2015, 06:59 AM
Fuck Ireland. Posterity save English. I love her. The English slipped their grip on the tongue when they started invading every cunt within spitting distance.

It's the universal weapon.

It's known as dilution. If you start watering down a drink, eventually, it becomes nothing more than slightly coloured water. The same with our language. So many other people speak it now that it no longer reflects the original dialect.

Some parts of the world speak such a strange dialect of English that other English speaking people cannot understand it. This tends to happen in the Southern States, where the rednecks have abused the language to the point that it is now a completely different language to English (Redneckish).

New York is no different. The twang they put on the language makes it sound harsh. What does, 'Have a nice day', actually mean? Is it similar to Mrs. Brown's, 'That's nice'?

The worst ones for speaking English are the Asians, though. Listen to the dialects from strong Asian communities, such as Afghanistan, Iraq or Bradford, and you'll have trouble with it. It tends to be a mix of Cockney London and Welsh. Strange vocals.

Still, nothing sounds more retarded than a Brommie Accent, or one from Wolverhampton (which actually sounds worse).

Mr. Mulder
06-20-2015, 07:44 AM
Those two places that are actually the same place, Manchester and Liverpool are the worst. They either sound like screaming cats or just complete nonsense :no:

Brummies can do one too.

Mr. Mulder
06-20-2015, 07:54 AM
I'm stood outside a barbers right now, it was supposed to open 21 minutes ago. The barber in question is northern.

He'll have some northern excuse I'll bet, lies about spending 42 hours a day in the coal mines or that his whippet was sick. You just simply cannot trust a wildling :no:

TheFoX
06-20-2015, 08:41 AM
Aye lad. Nowt t'do wid ma whippet. Eh, ma ferret did chomp ma wassuk. Eh up.

Mr. Mulder
06-20-2015, 08:44 AM
About quater to 10 :eyebrows:

IdolEyes787
06-20-2015, 01:12 PM
Aye lad. Nowt t'do wid ma whippet. Eh, ma ferret did chomp ma wassuk. Eh up.

Weirdly, when written that's sort of like poetry.

TheFoX
06-20-2015, 05:53 PM
If you're interested in poetry, check out Pam Ayres.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6g1I37_r1E

Skiz
06-20-2015, 06:51 PM
Mulder, this is basically a serious question as the only English shows I've watched are Sherlock Holmes and Big Brother.
Why do certain English accents make you sound brilliant and certain English accents make you sound like a retard?

We call it The North and it's not polite to talk about it :ermm:

Are those like the Uppers in Michigan or just yankees in general?

Skiz
06-20-2015, 07:01 PM
He'll have some northern excuse I'll bet, lies about spending 42 hours a day in the coal mines or that his whippet was sick. You just simply cannot trust a wildling :no:

:glag:






https://youtu.be/D-0_sL5AAVQ?t=2m37s

IdolEyes787
06-20-2015, 10:38 PM
If you're interested in poetry, check out Pam Ayres.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6g1I37_r1E

Not exactly Samuel Taylor Coleridge is it.

IdolEyes787
06-20-2015, 11:17 PM
I feel I should point out at this time that my relationship with this board isn't an equal partnership so if anything happens I want the servers and custody of Rart.

IdolEyes787
06-20-2015, 11:20 PM
Yeah I find it hard to believe that Romanians aren't inviting to sites right and left either.

IdolEyes787
06-20-2015, 11:24 PM
Anyone from the NZB section reading this?Seen any good movies lately?

IdolEyes787
06-20-2015, 11:30 PM
I'm like Batman and this is my Gotham and obviously we are at the " one it deserves, but not the one it needs right now" stage.

Anyway that's all for me as I'm off to watch some soccer because that's my thing right now,soccer.:mellow:

Skiz
06-20-2015, 11:36 PM
I took a risk on a movie the other night that I'd never heard of - Chef. It's got John Favraue or whatever the fk his name is. I like everything he does pretty much and this one was no exception. It isn't movie of the year but it was really good.

Something Else
06-21-2015, 08:21 AM
Anyone from the NZB section reading this?Seen any good movies lately?

I'm not from the NZB section. I use it tho'

TheFoX
06-21-2015, 11:51 AM
NZB? New Zealand Blacks?

What about the Asian section? Do you use that?

teflon05
06-21-2015, 12:51 PM
Anyone from the NZB section reading this?Seen any good movies lately?

It wasn't good, but going against my rule of not watching any movie that Ben Affleck is associated with, I got around to watching Gone Girl last night. It actually wasn't too bad, until the end. Whoever came up with that ending should be drawn. hung & quartered.:dabs:

TheFoX
06-21-2015, 01:13 PM
You left out the 'Hung' part.

teflon05
06-21-2015, 01:23 PM
You left out the 'Hung' part.

Well, I don't generally think of Ben Affleck in that way, but...


Joking...Fixed.

Say, come to think of it, isn't that an English thing? The drawn/hung/quartered thing, I mean.

IdolEyes787
06-21-2015, 01:41 PM
NZB? New Zealand Blacks?

What about the Asian section? Do you use that?

Since Art has fucked off and Fox isn't reliable I'm now forced to rely on the internet as my source of boring facts.


Dutch explorer Abel Tasman sighted New Zealand in 1642 and called it Staten Landt, supposing it was connected to a landmass of the same name at the southern tip of South America. In 1645 Dutch cartographers renamed the land Nova Zeelandia after the Dutch province of Zeeland

Abel.Sounds like a Jew.

IdolEyes787
06-21-2015, 05:40 PM
I've also noticed that English peoples keep very strange hours.

Does this have anything to do with Robert Pattinson being a vampire?

IdolEyes787
06-21-2015, 10:52 PM
I've been noticing of late a lot of people who used to be active here lurking in the forum but not posting.

Could someone please explain the exact point of that to me.

IdolEyes787
06-21-2015, 10:54 PM
Don't say that it's because I'm not interesting because I'm not the entire forum even though apparently I am.

Something Else
06-22-2015, 06:19 PM
You're like some kind of Canadiaian Goatse.

161756

IdolEyes787
06-22-2015, 06:29 PM
You mean a small pointed beard?

No I think you have me confused with Meg's wife.

MokomanMan
07-01-2015, 11:12 PM
I think the coolest British accent is cockney, if you ask me. and I'm from Canada. But House has a cool accent too, or rather his wit sounds cool in a British accent. :D

IdolEyes787
07-01-2015, 11:54 PM
Hugh Laurie (House) is from Oxford so go figure.

Michael Canine has a cockney.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFIQIpC5_wY

Something Else
07-02-2015, 11:08 AM
I think the coolest British accent is cockney, if you ask me. and I'm from Canada. But House has a cool accent too, or rather his wit sounds cool in a British accent. :D

That isn't actually an accent. At least not any more. I've lived in London nearly all my life and never met a proper cockney. I think it's just in films and stuff. Bloody Canadiaiaian Donators.

Something Else
07-02-2015, 11:09 AM
Hugh Laurie (House) is from Oxford so go figure.

Michael Canine has a cockney.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFIQIpC5_wY


That isn't cockney you numnut.

IdolEyes787
07-02-2015, 12:20 PM
Small "c' cockney now loosely defined by the world at large as working class. Caine himself makes it very clear that it isn't proper "Cockney".


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBjp1oEZcwU

Also my nuts are actually sort of tender.I probably should have that looked at. :unsure:

Something Else
07-02-2015, 04:01 PM
But House has a cool accent too


Talking houses. What next.

:unsure:


I have a London accent. It's what English is supposed to sound like, Shirley.