Bored gheymes

[Something Else]

I play Backgammon at a semi-amateur level,
Go at a pish-poor level and
Chess at a level.
Also Mancala on occasion.

Do you bored, bored. I wood.


Regards,


-Trees in parks and benches.

[Mr. Mulder]

When I was little, my gran used to make me leave the room then hide a scrunched up postit, then I'd come back in and have to find it. It was kwalitee, ewe should have been there :smilie4:

[JPaul]

Backgammon is basically just Ludo for adults.

Go - is that like Othello for the middle classes, never played the chap.

Chess is for people who would like to play Risk but see it as beneath them.

Mancala - from what I can see that's like saying I play "ball game".

I see what you have done here btw, you've just listed the most fancy-dan games you can think of. So we will think you are the famous actor Sacha Distell. Well I'm not falling for it.

[Something Else]

I'm single handedly raising the bar to the brow, which is more uni than high.

[Something Else]

Risk is a great game. I enjoy that two.

You underestimate backgammon. There's more beneath the surface than meats the I. It can be cruel at thymes.

I've never played Othello, but it is nothing like Go.

The Mancala comment, I can't argue with at all.

[Mr JP Fugley]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTaquarRhsc

[Something Else]

I watched that for weigh two long.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Sew did eye.

Bet it wasn't as long as ewe though.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Fuck sake, I jumped to the end and still don't have a clue who won.

I'm assuming it was the midget.

[Something Else]

Fabio trumped Raj from a compromised position. Oo-er missus.

[Mr JP Fugley]

Was it when his circle was on the wall in the middle that the game turned round, or something else.

[Something Else]

Exactly that. Once the circle is benched, the opposition park the bus and waste time to preserve their slender lead.

[anon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3iPrBrGSJM

[Mr JP Fugley]

That's what I thought.

Ewe could see the difference in body language and speed of play.

The chap who thought he could get higher numbers by shaking the cup more noticeably slowed and the other one speeded up.

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)


http://i.imgur.com/fTw8iGX.jpg

You have 2 days for the solution.

[mjmacky]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)


http://i.imgur.com/fTw8iGX.jpg

You have 2 days for the solution.

If the newspaper was going to go out of style, I would have hoped that the Chess and Bridge prompts would go down with the ship.

[IdolEyes787]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)

You have 2 days for the solution.

Besides the obvious question "What on Earth gave you the impression that anyone comes here to think?" the solution in three moves is....1. The white horse opens a small,modest, family-run corner store.2. Pressured by his peers, the black horse tries to rob it.3. The white horse utilizes his constitutional right to bear arms and checkmates the black horses head off.

[megabyteme]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)

Fucking racist. :snooty:

What's next, a word jumble where Ebonics words aren't good enough as answers?

[dion09529]

:lol:

[mjmacky]

Player checkmates, and then grandmaster removes player's crown and jams it into player's abdomen. For the third move, grandmaster impregnates player's mom.

[IdolEyes787]

Grandmaster: Because we felt a simple"just really good at chess" wasn't a true enough representation of the egos involved.

[dion09529]

And the answer is:

White move the bishop to D2 and then will checkmate no matter what black moves.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlFeusThoU0&feature=youtu.be

[Gribley]

White 2 D2 doesn`t force a move.... that is the bit I couldn`t understand, must force move on first go or how could it be 2-1 moves (definite)..... I did go through many ideas but I couldn`t solve, not sure this solves either however. Gimmie the moves and prove me wrong (happy to learn)




I`ve watched the video and it is still messing with my head :S. My mind couldn`t cover that many permutations it seems.

Thanks for the puzzle anyway, I do hate it when I can`t solve `em but there you go.....

[dion09529]

White's first move: bishop to D2.
If the black bishop captures the white bishop then white Queen move to D4 (checkmate).
If the black rook captures the white knight then white Queen move to E1 (checkmate).
If the black knight captures the white knight then white Queen move to F4 or E1 (checkmate).
If the black pawn advances to C5 then white Rook move to D5 (checkmate).

LE: Perhaps you haven't saw the black King placed to E5.

[dion09529]

Next problem

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)


http://i.imgur.com/hLXp6Mu.jpg

[megabyteme]

I find it fascinating that you are able to see moves on a chessboard, but can't compose a decent shot with a camera. I believe the term is myopic.

[IdolEyes787]

Be se7en to bee tree.

[IdolEyes787]

Actually that Czech mate in Juan.

[IdolEyes787]

I think I just ruptured something in my neocortex.

[IdolEyes787]

Do I win?

If so, if it's anything from Romania then I don't want it.

[megabyteme]

In Romanian chess, pieces aren't captured, they're stolen.

[dion09529]

Be se7en to bee tree.

No! Because the black rook will "stole" the bishop and we'll fail to checkmate in 3 moves.

[IdolEyes787]

Bishop takes rook.Rook takes rook.Checkmate

Now topple your little fey king and give up.

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)




WTFFF! Is that clear now?

[IdolEyes787]

OK so king takes pawn.

[IdolEyes787]

Basically any win is a good win and showboating is for homos.

[IdolEyes787]

WTFFF! Is that clear now?

As I have no idea what WTFFF! means then that would apparently be a no.

[IdolEyes787]

Seriously though, can't we all just agree to live in peace.

[IdolEyes787]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpWmlRNfLck

[IdolEyes787]

huh.

[IdolEyes787]

Why is that centered?

[IdolEyes787]

166344

[megabyteme]

Idol playing chess with Dion?!!! :O

I think someone hooked up an Infinite Improbability Drive somewhere...

[megabyteme]

166344

If dion were taking this picture, It would be of the bubbles.

[IdolEyes787]

Idol playing chess with Dion?!!! :O

I think someone hooked up an Infinite Improbability Drive somewhere...

Less improbable than a British person actually responding to a non-British person in The Lounge.

Sometimes the truth and sour grapes are apparently the same thing.

Other chess trivia.

Richie:
We played chess.
Fonzie:
You played with her chest?

"You played with her chest" were the first words ever spoken by the Fonz on Happy Days.

Btw to repeat myself.Dion appears to have a good heart so while I may ridicule his posts I shall never intentionally ridicule him.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled test pattern.

[megabyteme]

Idol playing chess with Dion?!!! :O

I think someone hooked up an Infinite Improbability Drive somewhere...

Less improbable than a British person actually responding to a non-British person in The Lounge.

Sometimes the truth and sour grapes are apparently the same thing.

Other chess trivia.

Richie:
We played chess.
Fonzie:
You played with her chest?

"You played with her chest" were the first words ever spoken by the Fonz on Happy Days.

Btw to repeat myself.Dion appears to have a good heart so while I may ridicule his posts I shall never intentionally ridicule him.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled test pattern.

I imagine I should read things more carefully, but all I got out of that was you want to play with Dion's chest while a Brit and the Fonz watch. :idunno:

[IdolEyes787]

Seriously, if Leo DiCaprio wants uses his Oscar win to promote himself as poster boy for environmental issues then he needs to first stop constantly travelling the globe in private jets to party on 150 foot yachts.

Not that it's a bit disingenuous but Ted Nugent isn't going out and killing a bunch of animals and then trying to tell everyone that hunting is bad.

I would post this in The Lounge but I genuinely feel that this is as good a thread to be ignored in as any.

[IdolEyes787]

....

Looking back I was foolish not to have killed you when you were still small and manageable.

[IdolEyes787]

Btw I didn't watch any of the Oscars as I'm protesting how anti-Asian they are.

[IdolEyes787]

Also Sam Smith and Lady Gaga battling for best song.There was no possible way that was going to end well.

[megabyteme]

Btw I didn't watch any of the Oscars as I'm protesting how anti-Asian they are.

In fairness, none of them would show up as they are all working 4 jobs besides acting. :no:

[IdolEyes787]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dd9Yx7_K_gE

[megabyteme]

Nailed it. Like DiCaprio crawling through the forest moaning.

[megabyteme]

Took kids to see Star Wars the other night on their 6th birthday. They did great. since the last in-theater movie I saw was 8 Mile, I expect the next 6 episodes to be released on blu-ray before I venture out again. So, basically, i'll be taking the kids for their 8th birthday. :dry:

[IdolEyes787]

Young kids tend to not enjoy Star Wars that much because they are still able to comprehend the difference between actually liking something and being told that you're suppose to like something.See vegetables.

[IdolEyes787]

Except for Max Max I haven't see any of the Oscar nominated movies and probably never will unless the director's cut of Carol includes a fight scene involving martial arts or else I'm involved in a terrible accident in which brain injury and castration are prominently featured.

[IdolEyes787]

166428

Mate in three.

[dion09529]

Double Chess gameboard

http://i.imgur.com/4G5dJwH.png

[megabyteme]

Young kids tend to not enjoy Star Wars that much because they are still able to comprehend the difference between actually liking something and being told that you're suppose to like something.See vegetables.

Dion, Idol just told me to ask you about Star Wars. Did my kids like it? :unsure:

[megabyteme]

Except for Max Max I haven't see any of the Oscar nominated movies and probably never will unless the director's cut of Carol includes a fight scene involving martial arts or else I'm involved in a terrible accident in which brain injury and castration are prominently featured.

I'm not sure what was nominated for what, but I only watched like 20 some minutes of Revenant (whatever), before not being greatly impressed. Was difficult to make out what everyone was saying, I remember that much. Spent about as much time finding subs to understand the dialog as I did watching.

[megabyteme]

BTW, I am interested in seeing the Mopey Dick one. Waiting for school work to die down.

[megabyteme]

Double Chess gameboard

http://i.imgur.com/4G5dJwH.png

Booger: "No you got too many kings."

[dion09529]

http://i.imgur.com/hLXp6Mu.jpg

And the correct answer is:

-R2b1 (white rook to B1 to protect the white bishop)

[IdolEyes787]

H8 to E8. So not two white moves.:unsure:

[IdolEyes787]

OK so I missed the B7 to basically any place.

[IdolEyes787]

In my defense, I was playing on a "don't entirely give a fuck" clock.

[IdolEyes787]

All I know is that this forum sucks.After that basically everything else fades to irrelevance.

Logic: It's just not for chess.

[IdolEyes787]

Clearly I've been a member of this forum for a long time because I can remember back to the day when members still at least pretended to be friendly.

[IdolEyes787]

http://i.imgur.com/hLXp6Mu.jpg

And the correct answer is:

-R2b1 (white rook to B1 to protect the white bishop)

See this is why playing against a machine isn't nearly as challenging because long before this point I would have hauled off and hit you in the face.

[IdolEyes787]

Fuck you, anon.

[IdolEyes787]

Btw "Fuck you anon" is from The Taming of the Shrew.

[IdolEyes787]

You know at some point I'm truly going to give up.

I've already selected my outtro.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGwCP2hX2FM

One can never be too prepared.

[IdolEyes787]

Hey,Meg.Here's an imgur for you.

166491

[anon]

Fuck you, anon.

I acknowledge your presence.

[megabyteme]

Fuck you, anon.

I acknowledge your presence.

Don't spoil him. Fuck, now he's gonna expect others to respond... :pinch:

[megabyteme]

I've already selected my outtro.

I'm pretty sure an outtro is an indicator you aren't getting enough fiber in your diet.

[IdolEyes787]

I acknowledge your presence.

Sort of nice until you take into consideration that so do cockroaches.



Don't spoil him. Fuck, now he's gonna expect others to respond... :pinch:

See.

[IdolEyes787]

Btw is the site splitting into discernible British/non-British sections another one of Reality's ideas?

[IdolEyes787]

Also is my theory that Skiz isn't posting lately because he had a 65" UHD television fall on head and he's now dead, anywhere close to the truth?

[IdolEyes787]

166494


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1PfrmCGFnk

[IdolEyes787]

Now he has as many Oscars as Sam Smith.

[megabyteme]

166494


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1PfrmCGFnk

Jeebus, is this true? I thought they just handed him one every year. That's a crime, TBH.

[IdolEyes787]

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/forget-leo-ennio-morricone-finally-won-an-oscar-after-500-movie-credits-a6904671.html

I'm assuming that the internet wouldn't lie to me.

And only took him 499 more film credits than Sam Smith too.

[IdolEyes787]

In the comments on that link.


Hitchcock never won an Oscar and Inarritu has won two. I rest my case.

Birdman and The Revenant.:mellow:

[megabyteme]

In the comments on that link.


Hitchcock never won an Oscar and Inarritu has won two. I rest my case.

Birdman and The Revenant.:mellow:




Birdman is one of those I feel I am owed a refund on even though I stole that shit.

[megabyteme]

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/forget-leo-ennio-morricone-finally-won-an-oscar-after-500-movie-credits-a6904671.html

I'm assuming that the internet wouldn't lie to me.

And only took him 499 more film credits than Sam Smith too.

I would say 'fuck Italy' for being foreign, but they invented pizza, sausage, and salami, so they're pretty much lining my heart and arteries- so I consider myself like 30% Italian.

"It's not how hard you can get hit, it is how many times you can keep hitting the all-you-can-eat pizza buffet and keep coming back." A great Italian once said something like that (pretty sure it was during the filming of Cop Land (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118887/))...

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)

http://i.imgur.com/WJSHQKz.jpg



You have 3 days to find the solution.

[megabyteme]

You have 3 days to find the solution.

Alright, let's switch to Hide and Seek. You go hide someplace with limited oxygen, and I'll come find you. Don't give up your location, even if it seems I'm not looking. This just means you are doing well in the game... :yup:

[megabyteme]

Now that I mention it, where is Idol?

[IdolEyes787]

Though technically impossible, I now care less for the content of this site than the administration does.

If someone could maybe, once every blue moon, show the slightest interest in something/someone other than themselves I might still be persuaded otherwise.

The sad truth maybe , but still the truth.

[IdolEyes787]

Btw MyCanadianChannels is the best Kodi addon.Not that I'm an aloof nationalist prick or anything.

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)

http://i.imgur.com/WJSHQKz.jpg




And the correct answer is Queen to D6

http://i.imgur.com/EkXCHNy.jpg

If the black pawn takes the Queen, white will checkmate, Rook to C1.

[IdolEyes787]

I could have done that but I prefer a less sexist game where the valiant queen lives and the rabble end up burning the cowardly king at the stake.

[megabyteme]

/MBM picks up board and swats Dion with it.

Just because, not because of poor sportsmanship. Someone needed to do it. :happy:



In contrast to you playing with your little white pawn, I had a lady friend who took some Ecstasy this morning get very naughty in the front seat of her car for me.

Checkmate. :D

[IdolEyes787]

I'm pretty sure she's not a lady.

[megabyteme]

I'm not entirely certain she's old enough to be called one... :D

[IdolEyes787]

I was more going for the "gets high and performs sex acts for strangers ergo not a lady" thing but like your friend, I'm pliant.

[IdolEyes787]

I wanted to say "easy" but seeing how the "not a lady" went I thought I, like your friend, would be a little more obvious.

[megabyteme]

She does all kinds of naughty things for me sober, as well. She is a very nice girl who has a great joy of getting very naughty during school/work breaks and when she gets home. :happy:

The Ecstasy was just a bonus that got her to be ecs-tra fun! She's sent me over 300 pics and roughly 10 videos. :01:

[IdolEyes787]

I have a friend who's an analyst at Langley and even he couldn't envision any scenario where this could possibly end well.

[megabyteme]

My Wangley analysis says it is going great!


She knows of my marital status and kid count. :)

[IdolEyes787]

Not relevant.The relevant part is whether your wife knows and approves or not.

[IdolEyes787]

Anyway enough of this and back on topic.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6cuQoI0abM

[megabyteme]

Not relevant.The relevant part is whether your wife knows and approves or not.

She is aware of my online lady friends and knows they are no threat to her. I don't rub the details in her nose, but she's fine as long as it does not interfere with school or taking care of the house/kids.

21 years of being together has earned me some leeway. :)

[IdolEyes787]

Of course she sees them as a threat as even the most beautiful women in the World get cheated on.

What she has done is weigh the which stands the best chance of being detrimental to your marriage, telling you to stop and risk your eternal resentment or pretend not to care and hope that you prove to be a better person than literally everyone else in the World.

[IdolEyes787]

You know the saddest thing in all this is that between the two of us, apparently I'm the only one who still masturbates to thoughts of your wife.:smilie4:

[megabyteme]

You know the saddest thing in all this is that between the two of us, apparently I'm the only one who still masturbates to thoughts of your wife.:smilie4:

hahahahahaha! You are awesome, my friend. :)

I have had some very attractive, RW, local opportunities at school. I have resisted every time. The women I play with online are intentionally several states, or countries, away. This one makes the drive to Texas seem tempting, though. :D

BTW, my wife has a VERY hard time of hiding bitterness about anything. She may not approach it directly, but if she were mad under the skin, she would find ways to make life unpleasant.

[Gribley]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)

http://i.imgur.com/WJSHQKz.jpg




And the correct answer is Queen to D6

http://i.imgur.com/EkXCHNy.jpg

If the black pawn takes the Queen, white will checkmate, Rook to C1.

Not a fair scenario as sensible person would of just moved the pawn forward and there is no 2 move finish....

[Aracknid]

Catan (or Settlers of Catan) is fun. Recently started playing this.

[dion09529]

Not a fair scenario as sensible person would of just moved the pawn forward and there is no 2 move finish....

If black moves the pawn forward to C6 or C5, white moves the Queen to B8.

[Gribley]

Not a fair scenario as sensible person would of just moved the pawn forward and there is no 2 move finish....

If black moves the pawn forward to C6 or C5, white moves the Queen to B8.

But then the player could of dived under a bus and have a zero move solution. If it has to be specific to "x moves, y moves" then it has to be impossible to escape or have any alternative and this one wasn`t

Fun anyway :)

[Gribley]

If black moves the pawn forward to C6 or C5, white moves the Queen to B8.

But then the player could of dived under a bus and have a zero move solution. If it has to be specific to "x moves, y moves" then it has to be impossible to escape or have any alternative and this one wasn`t

Fun anyway :)

Ignore me, I can`t get out of the trap it seems. I really should play more

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)

http://i.imgur.com/5jNu461.jpg

[Gribley]

Arghhh, this is really hard without a real board to play out the moves. I`ve come up with a few (in my small mental capacity) but still not getting the 'certain' result. Very frustrating. Going to have to go to Argos and get myself a chess board at this rate :S

[dion09529]

And the correct answer is Bishop to H7

http://i.imgur.com/QS5HeZT.jpg

In this situation, black will be checkmated no matter what he moves.

[IdolEyes787]

What if the black side "accidentally" overturns the board and then says that since he can't remember exactly how the pieces were set and there is "no way in fucking hell" that he is going to take white's word for anything, the match will have to be considered a draw?

Seriously,dude it was refusing to think outside the box that caused Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo.

[megabyteme]

Just like black to resort to violence over white's dominance...

[IdolEyes787]

Explain basically any contact sport to me then.

[megabyteme]

Chess isn't supposed to be a contact sport. :no:

[IdolEyes787]

Neither is basketball but still doesn't stop shit from getting real.:afro:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USSNWjSkgF4

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)

http://i.imgur.com/z42WKdk.jpg

[IdolEyes787]

E6 to E5
Doesn't matter what black does after that.Whether takes knight or takes bishop( or moves rook) it's still checkmate in one.E5F5

[megabyteme]

You sank Dion, battleship!

[IdolEyes787]

I figured if he was going to persist in posting them then I should be polite enough to feign some interest.:smilie4:

Next time I post some exercise-type video that he has no interest in, I fucking expect him to reciprocate and act all fake excited.

[dion09529]

E6 to E5
Doesn't matter what black does after that.Whether takes knight or takes bishop( or moves rook) it's still checkmate in one.E5F5



yes! yes! yes!

idol haz a badass brain! :D

[IdolEyes787]

It wasn't that hard if you just picture the pieces like tiny people whose fates you coldly hold in your hands.

I pictured the knight as Meg and the bishop as Shay and then it became obvious that sacrificing either wasn't a big deal.Pleasurable in fact.

I only wish I can kill off more of the pieces next time.:idunno:

[IdolEyes787]

E3 Harelbeke on Friday and Ghent-Wevelgem on Sunday.Oh to be in Belgium in the Spring.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Cjmy7SDZc


No,wait......:mellow:

[shaina]

It wasn't that hard if you just picture the pieces like tiny people whose fates you coldly hold in your hands.
I pictured the knight as Meg and the bishop as Shay and then it became obvious that sacrificing either wasn't a big deal.Pleasurable in fact.
I only wish I can kill off more of the pieces next time.:idunno:

167504

167505

:P :artist: :P

:batman:

[chalice]

It wasn't that hard if you just picture the pieces like tiny people whose fates you coldly hold in your hands.
I pictured the knight as Meg and the bishop as Shay and then it became obvious that sacrificing either wasn't a big deal.Pleasurable in fact.
I only wish I can kill off more of the pieces next time.:idunno:

167504

167505

:P :artist: :P

:batman:

Christkiller. And on Good Friday, too.

Do your people have no mercy?

[megabyteme]

I'm kinda pissed Idol only rated me a 'knight'... Must be the way I walk forward 2 steps, then stumble sideways.

[shaina]

I'm kinda pissed Idol only rated me a 'knight'... Must be the way I walk forward 2 steps, then stumble sideways.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

[IdolEyes787]

Actually it's because you remind me of Martin Lawrence.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UhE6tedXdQ

And as there was no queen in play I had to go with my second choice.

[shaina]

Actually it's because you remind me of Martin Lawrence.
And as there was no queen in play I had to go with my second choice.

:yikes: :artist: :yikes:

[megabyteme]

Actually it's because you remind me of Martin Lawrence.

[video=someone, somewhere with decision power funded this movie :blink:]

And as there was no queen in play I had to go with my second choice.

Y'all know how to make a brother feel...welcome. :dry:

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)

http://i.imgur.com/FRRIzHw.jpg

[IdolEyes787]

Meg ie my queen, moves G1 to H1 and then as is his want, texts the black king that he is interracially fucked and that he should post pictures of this happening.

[IdolEyes787]

I have been studying, albeit nothing to do with chess, more like ab exercises and Asian porn and now consider myself the equivalent of a chess grandmaster.

I now need harder chess puzzles like with jigsaw puzzles where all the pieces are the same colour.


Make it happen.

[dion09529]

Well done, Idol!




I have been studying, albeit nothing to do with chess, more like ab exercises and Asian porn and now consider myself the equivalent of a chess grandmaster.

I now need harder chess puzzles like with jigsaw puzzles where all the pieces are the same colour.


Make it happen.

White turn and mate in 17 (9 white / 8 black moves)

http://i.imgur.com/mszVytA.jpg

Clue: white sacrifices almost all pieces.

[IdolEyes787]

I'll do it but for that much work I'm afraid that I'll need to be paid.

In lieu of cash I will also accept racy pictures of swans but they need to involve at least partial nudity.

[IdolEyes787]

Frankly I lost track of how many moves this is except I'm pretty sure I gave up caring about the time my brain stood up and hit me in the face.

h5 to f3
e2 to f4
a4 to a8
g6 to g5
b4 to b7
f4 to d3
c5 to b6
f7 to b7
b6 to b7
h2 to b8
a8 to b8
d3 to c5
b7 to a7
h2 to G6
f5 to e7
g6 to g7
d8 to h8
g7 to f7
h8 to h7

Btw If that adds up to 19 or some of the moves are labelled wrong it's because I can't read what I originally wrote down since I'm attempting to play fucking chess and scribble shit at the same time and fuck you as I don't see anyone else doing this.

I would attribute it to no one being both smart and dumb enough to try but let's face it the real reason is that they're a bunch of evil cunts and we both know it.

[IdolEyes787]

Although in Meg's case, evil and ghey would be more accurate.:)

[megabyteme]

Frankly I lost track of how many moves this is except I'm pretty sure I gave up caring about the time my brain stood up and hit me in the face.

h5 to f3
e2 to f4
a4 to a8
g6 to g5
b4 to b7
f4 to d3
c5 to b6
f7 to b7
b6 to b7
h2 to b8
a8 to b8
d3 to c5
b7 to a7
h2 to G6
f5 to e7
g6 to g7
d8 to h8
g7 to f7
h8 to h7

Btw If that adds up to 19 or some of the moves are labelled wrong it's because I can't read what I originally wrote down since I'm attempting to play fucking chess and scribble shit at the same time and fuck you as I don't see anyone else doing this.

I would attribute it to no one being both smart and dumb enough to try but let's face it the real reason is that they're a bunch of evil cunts and we both know it.

By the coordinates, I'm pretty sure this means that you suck at Battleship. :idunno:

[IdolEyes787]

I'm not saying that Meg is ghey but he tried his hand at marathoning and when when he blew spectacularly it took place in the restroom before the start.:mellow:

[dion09529]

Frankly I lost track of how many moves this is except I'm pretty sure I gave up caring about the time my brain stood up and hit me in the face.

h5 to f3
e2 to f4
a4 to a8
g6 to g5
b4 to b7
f4 to d3
c5 to b6
f7 to b7
b6 to b7
h2 to b8
a8 to b8
d3 to c5
b7 to a7
h2 to G6
f5 to e7
g6 to g7
d8 to h8
g7 to f7
h8 to h7

Btw If that adds up to 19 or some of the moves are labelled wrong it's because I can't read what I originally wrote down since I'm attempting to play fucking chess and scribble shit at the same time and fuck you as I don't see anyone else doing this.

I would attribute it to no one being both smart and dumb enough to try but let's face it the real reason is that they're a bunch of evil cunts and we both know it.

I can't believe you actually tried it. It would've been madness to find out the perfect moves.
Props to you for having this perseverance.

This is the Immortal Problem composed in 1851 by Konrad Bayer.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9AdR6f0td8

[IdolEyes787]

Conrad Bayer seems to have been kind of a dick.

Also I can't see how a puzzle like this is realistic because it assumes the moves that the opposing player will make.
I'm no "prize winning problemist" but I still know that you can even assume that a person is not going to step out in front of a car.

Taking that into account and "cheating" like Bayer did then I going to assume that black makes the worst moves possible and I can probably checkmate in considerably less with equally as much point, that being none.

Life is so much easier when you assume the role of God.

[megabyteme]

I'm not saying that Meg is ghey but he tried his hand at marathoning and when when he blew spectacularly it took place in the restroom before the start.:mellow:

Ghey jokes?! How 2015... :dry:

Queer

[IdolEyes787]

Don't get mad at me for merely vocalizing what your kids are thinking.

[megabyteme]

How's the love life, Romeo? Protein shakes for one by candlelight, or microwaving Tofurkey through tears?

[IdolEyes787]

You try to make it sound like that's a bad thing.:unsure:

[IdolEyes787]

Anyway I forgive you for your callousness.Let us rebond over this video which you won't watch.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoCB90wi2pE

[megabyteme]

Anyway I forgive you for your callousness.Let us rebond over this video which you won't watch.

[video=making a mountain out of a molehill]

Riveting. Truely. :coffee:

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)


http://i.imgur.com/tGpSUZS.jpg

[mjmacky]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)


http://i.imgur.com/tGpSUZS.jpg

These fucking things. How does white not mate in 1 move, D4 to E4? I don't see a followup by black that takes the black king out of harms way. The white police have every exit blocked. Also, the black king must have gone through a divorce, because who moves to the middle of the board without their fucking queen?

[dion09529]

It seems you missed the bishop to E3. The white Rook is blocked!

[IdolEyes787]

Huh?I there another picture I'm not seeing?

[IdolEyes787]

The king has to move out of check which it can't.

[IdolEyes787]

OK sorry see the putting white in check now.You explain like shite.

[IdolEyes787]

Can't see a way to do it in two.Always seems to take 3 moves by white.

d1 g4 then black has to play h7 to h5 then f6 to f7 so not to expose your queen

[mjmacky]

It seems you missed the bishop to E3. The white Rook is blocked!

Actually, I thought that was the queen. I spent very little time looking at it. Why are these players moving their kings all over the board?

Dammit, now I'm pressed to find a solution.

[Gribley]

assume white is top to bottom.... otherwise already in check so cant be whites move
Prawn F6 to F5 (check)
Castle thing to H7 to H8
Castle thing D4 to E4


?

[mjmacky]

Yeah, I don't see it happening in 2. Needs 3 moves as far as I can tell. If you show me how it can be done in two white moves, I'll consider playing with you in the future. If you can't, then you must wear underwear on your head for a day and never post another puzzle again.

[mjmacky]

assume white is top to bottom.... otherwise already in check so cant be whites move
Prawn F6 to F5 (check)
Castle thing to H7 to H8
Castle thing D4 to E4


?

No, white is moving bottom to top because the pawn attacks diagonally (F6 pawn would have black king in check in that case). If white was moving top to bottom, and it was white's turn, check mate already would have occurred due to some bizarre error by black.

In other words, you could move the pawn F6 to F7 to check the king with the bishop at H8, but then the black rook takes the bishop.

[Gribley]

Ignore me... thinking upside down again....

[dion09529]

Ooooooh, my bad... I missed a pawn! :slap:

http://i.imgur.com/C4d83de.jpg



Ignore me... thinking upside down again....

White is moving bottom to top.

[IdolEyes787]

Now that the rook isn't so much in play.

e6 to h3 then whatever black then a6 to e6. Checkmate.

[bigboab]

how about d4 to d5?

[mjmacky]

Ooooooh, my bad... I missed a pawn! :slap:

Those slaps better be hitting some underwear fabric. Also, you've remitted the privilege of having participants. Lastly, if you ignore these consequences, use MS Paint to place a big crown on the queen and a "big queer" text pointing to the left on the next image you post.

[mjmacky]

then whatever black

E8 to F7

[mjmacky]

how about d4 to d5?
Same faux pas I initially made, for that's a king and not a queen at A7

[mjmacky]

Now I only see multiple possibilities for two moves that start with queen to F3 and the queen's next move depends on black.

[IdolEyes787]

As my reward and your penance you must all now listen to this Canadian classic in the hope that this will inspire you all to try a little harder to avoid something like this happening in the future.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-WMbP1RcC4

[IdolEyes787]

then whatever black

E8 to F7

In chess terms that's the ghetto so you are racist.

[IdolEyes787]

Now I only see multiple possibilities for two moves that start with queen to F3 and the queen's next move depends on black.

That doesn't work as it opens up blocking possibilities.

[mjmacky]

Now I only see multiple possibilities for two moves that start with queen to F3 and the queen's next move depends on black.
Nevermind because there's a couple of idiotic moves black can make to extend the number of moves for this as well.

[IdolEyes787]

First and best Bryan Adams song ever. Possibly because at that point he still had a soul.:unsure:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlqnAhvfjzw

[dion09529]

then whatever black

E8 to F7

Knight to C6, checkmate.



Now I only see multiple possibilities for two moves that start with queen to F3 and the queen's next move depends on black.

If white moves queen to F3, black will move the knight to C3 and white can't checkmate next move.

Again Idol wins. Bishop E6 to H3.

[IdolEyes787]

I keep telling you, I'm some sort of genus.

[IdolEyes787]

As a genus you'd think that after all these years I could better reconcile myself to the fact that basically everyone here is a prick.

[megabyteme]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFQG6OOQmh8

[shaina]

I keep telling you, I'm some sort of genus.

:artist:

[shaina]

As a genus you'd think that after all these years I could better reconcile myself to the fact that basically everyone here is a prick.

:cry: :noes: :noes: :cry:

[bigboab]

how about d4 to d5?
Same faux pas I initially made, for that's a king and not a queen at A7

It is checkmate as the rook is covered by the knight at e7. I might be getting too old for this.:lol:

[Barbarossa]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rTRv5pIyoI

[IdolEyes787]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHs5wGW1lQo

Knight Moves aka If a monkey directed a movie.

[dion09529]

White turn and mate in 3 (2 white / 1 black moves)


http://i.imgur.com/XcNKJLP.jpg

White is moving bottom to top.

[IdolEyes787]

Either these are getting easier or I'm getting more use to the premise of the next move is disguised to be less obvious.

With that in mind, the knight was the only choice that fit that parameter, so f5d4 and then dependent on black move either white queen to d4 or e3.

[IdolEyes787]

Your chess problem thing needs to start mixing it up a bit because patterns, even less obvious ones, are always easy to counter.

Dumb machine thing.

[dion09529]

Either these are getting easier or I'm getting more use to the premise of the next move is disguised to be less obvious.

With that in mind, the knight was the only choice that fit that parameter, so f5d4 and then dependent on black move either white queen to d4 or e3.

Well done!