Mental EMails

[JPaul]

I got this one today

St. Neots indoor bowls club

I hope you are well,
I want to get up to date with the kitchen at the club.
I understand that the visit by HDC did let's say not go well.
If he turns up this time I understand you have another date.
What I am wondering is have you cleaned and are you happy, can I help in any way, Monica (the wife) says I am the best cooker cleaner going.

07944577488 or E. Mail me [email protected]
Kind Regards
Brian

Sent from my iPhone=

[anon]

I get little spam myself, most of it offering mobile data plans or beach vacations (at any time of the year).

On several occasions I have apparently won foreign lotteries without even playing, though - I guess improbable events do happen all the time.

[JPaul]

That's the thing, I'm not sure if it's spam.

http://www.shotters.co.uk/

172669

[manker]

I keep getting copied into Mark Anker's emails.
I've had a little fun at his expense, but they keep forgetting I'm not Mark Anker and sending me this crap.

On the upside, for him, I corrected his solicitors misapprehension that he needed to be charged for indemnity insurance when there was no mortgage involved in the purchase of some land.
He never said thanks though, the cawk.


Julie Todd <[email protected]>

Attachments24 May

to me, Sandra
Hi Mark,

As you will see from Martin’s email below the white van man is still in the neighbourhood.

I was wondering whether you followed this up with customer services (my email 17/05) and if so could I possibly have the reference number of pass on to Martin.

Many thanks,

J

From: Martin Spirito
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2016 6:51 PM
To: Julie Todd
Subject: Re: Long Lane + Moonraker

Unfortunately further to this my wife saw the van by the bridge and when walking she saw a male in the bushes by the fishing lake and on her way back he was sitting on the bench by the lake.
The original offence of indecent exposure and threats need reporting and if there is no police action a complaint needs lodging by the first victim.
Martin Spirito

Sent from my iPhone

On 19 May 2016, at 12:16, Julie Todd <[email protected]> wrote:

> Please find below a reply on behalf of the Police and Crime Commissioner re the incident in Long Lane. I have replied saying it was Mark Anker’s mother.
>
> Attached is a planning application for a single storey extension at Moonraker. I have a hard copy of the plans if you would like to see them.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> J

[Barbarossa]

Some guy in Scotland keeps buying shit from microsoft and the invoices come to my email address. I've contacted MS about it - they don't care, they just say to block the emails. I've written to him about it too and no response.

So fuck 'em.

[manker]

Hoi, JP.
This is weird.

I've also had some cawk from St. Neots email me by mistake.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v31/samsamsamsam/Clipboard02sn.png (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/samsamsamsam/media/Clipboard02sn.png.html)

What are the chances of that, well.

[JPaul]

"filthy pig eating infidel"

:lol::earl:

[JPaul]

Some guy in Scotland keeps buying shit from microsoft and the invoices come to my email address. I've contacted MS about it - they don't care, they just say to block the emails. I've written to him about it too and no response.

So fuck 'em.

Let me know his name and I'll have a word with him.

[JPaul]

Brian has been back in touch.



,

I know its along shot but as you are in the business I was wondering if you new of a chef who would be looking for work locally.

Regards

Brian

[manker]

Brian has been back in touch.



,

I know its along shot but as you are in the business I was wondering if you new of a chef who would be looking for work locally.

Regards

Brian
Bri is also a homophone fan. It's rather nice that you have found someone who shares an interest via the interwebs.
If only the serendipity deity favoured me in the same way; all I seem to talk to are cawkfans.

[manker]

172716

Awkward.

[Barbarossa]

Seriously dude I'm hurt that you didn't come to me with your hot-tub related enquiries :cry:

[manker]

Seriously dude I'm hurt that you didn't come to me with your hot-tub related enquiries :cry:At the time of writing, I had no idea you were endowed with such a contraption.

That Pine Cone cawk couldn't help me with my query anyhow, so feel free to fill me in :lookaroun

[Barbarossa]

If you're monitoring and controlling the chlorine and pH levels correctly as it describes in the instruction manual, neither you nor your partner(s) of choice should have any untoward soft-tissue irritation :smilie4:

[manker]

Your missus will be well pleased.
What time did you say you were finishing work again.

[Barbarossa]

Tell her it's her turn to clean out the filter :pinch:

[anon]

Bri is also a homophone fan. It's rather nice that you have found someone who shares an interest via the interwebs.

The law of attraction is true :O

[anon]

172716

Awkward.

:glagpinch:

Please keep us updated on this one. Customer safety should be a no. 1 priority :smilie4:

[JPaul]

I lolled :earl:, you are a bad bad man.