Stuttering Freak Brother Update Finale

[chalice]

Sup, intercunts.

Where to begin. I'm presently out of the habit of internets communication, so forgive and bear with me. I'm not in the mood for trying, so this post will be wank.

As we speak, the aforementioned stuttering freak is in hospital, squandering national health resources on life support. It's a result. I'm currently nursing a black eyeball. I wound him up so much that he punched me, the fucking animal. I called the cops and had him arrested. Next thing, I get a call from my bovine sister, informing me that he took a heart attack and might not recover. Brain damage, apparentment. Ha. You need a brain for that.

I am fucking delighted. True story. I win to the max. Best case scenario, he won't be able to wipe his own arse going forward. I'm praising all sorts of imaginary deities.

[mjmacky]

I thought you would have tended to the white eye since that was the one that had the evil knocked out of it. I guess you're looking for the quicker path to symmetry.

shaina, what I am saying is that both his eyes steal light from the abyss

shaina, I am saying he has pitch black eyes, and that he is making them white

[mjmacky]

Kidding aside, regarding anyone using up their life in detriment to everyone around them, they could only offer the kindness of departing.

[Something Else]

Sorry to hear about your brother, Chavois.

I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

[chalice]

The initial rush of victory has subsided now. It's all rather fucked. Got the non-committal runaround from the medical professionals. Meanwhile a plethora of soapesque skits are spinning in the ICU waiting rheum. I can't even be arsed with the complexity of his recent misendeavours. Yes, I just made that word up.

I haven't eaten or slept in the past three days, and I'm currently wopped on bourbon and ganja.

What I need now is one of them there mystics jews to wave his broken wand and correct everything.

[megabyteme]

Damn, Chal. You have fine-tuned your windup skills to a whole new level. You didn't even manage to give Dave a heart attack.

Sorry to hear about your eye.

[chalice]

Sorry to hear about your eye.

Thanks, man. It's been difficult. I've missed four photo-shoots already.

[chalice]

He just turned thirty-two. That's not even a mystic number. Unless you count the reverse. His first child was born to a skank of degenerate proportions just a month ago. He'd glimpsed and hold him once, but got restricted by social services. Quite rightly. Now this pathological liar and pyrotechnic infant terrible of histrionic behaviour is kicking up stinks in the ICU sick room, which I cannot abide.

See, I've got a mouth on me. When I decide to say something, the walls kinda end up painted in blood. The blackeyeballable remark came from me impersonating Porky Pig after he threatened me in front of my son. 'That's All Fa-Folks' is still ringing in my ears. Prior that evening, he'd tried to burgle me, of course.

Cunts are reporting to me (to me, in all honesty) that they have found white feathers- indicating visits from angels. Well. Apparently, Facebooks likes count too.

[mjmacky]

Get your crossbow, we're going angel hunting.

[chalice]

Get your crossbow, we're going angel hunting.

Skewer every thing in flight you clap eyeballs on. Any one of them could be an angel.

[Something Else]

Pigeons, Angels. Same thing. Neither will be of much use here.

I'm hoping for an epiphany, or a moment of clarity. That sounds like his best hope right now.

A brief moment of enlightenment where he suddenly wakes up, not just in the physical sense.

[megabyteme]

'That's All Fa-Folks' is still ringing in my ears.

Porky Pig has never been used so prophetically before.

[chalice]

Well that is that. It was a sorry and predictable conclusion. Stuttering Freak Brother stutters no more. He's gone to the great speech therapist in this guy.

I am very disappointed, to say the very least.

[Something Else]

Sorry to hear that mate.

[mjmacky]

So, this is now the Stuttering Freak Brother Conclusion thread. No climax, just an ending.

[IdolEyes787]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcJR9y4bLHA

[megabyteme]

I found white feathers. Granted, totally unrelated, but feathers. White ones.

[chalice]

Now no-one can save me from Dave.

We tossed his organs into the bio-sphere. Our Kid's, not Dave's. I hope at least some of them end up in someone good. The upshot of this and the post mortem is the incineration might not happen til Wednesday. Ash Wednesday. True story. Catholic churches can only say one reading on this movable feast. Look it up. I got the priest to splice the funeral and the Ash Wednesday mass. It'll be appropriately horrific.

Had to deal with a priest today. It felt unnatural. All of my cousins are fucking blimps, the greasy cunts. Got accidentally thudded in the lachrymal glands when Desperado came on my wireless. It's so fucking accurate, I blubbed. And I'm not much of a blubberer.

My mother looks translucent. Like all of her substance has seeped out. Might start a Stuttering Freak Brother Aftermath thread.

[Something Else]

Might start a Stuttering Freak Brother Aftermath thread.

I think the thread has already gone that way on it's own.

Her Royal harsh Wednesday indeed.

[chalice]

In a situation like this, with tentative relatives and dubious friends drifting in and throughout my domicile, one is faced with the perversity of existence.

I am above it all. Literally. There is the constant burble and squeak in the West Belfast funeral parlance rumbling under my feet, while the blackening corpse I refuse to see hovers in the living room, of all places. It's like being in a queue with the worst cunts imaginable. So, I can only unimagine what it's like for those poor fuckers being in a queue with me. Especially one that I have blood claim to.

I pad the floors upstairs. Their shrieks are doing my fucking face in.

I had to give him my bestest suit to get incinerated in. And shirt. I haven't looked at him, so I'll never know if it suited him better. I did carry him into the house, however. That was pretty balls.

Where is Dave is all of this? Dave, I need your hatred more than ever. Fight me.

Even a jew will do. Well, at least two jews. Let's be fair.