Dogs

[chalice]

I have been contemplating acquiring a canine. A small one.

It would be one of those ones you snatch from the jaws of death, and feel all good about yourself, and fool the world into believing that I'm a decent person.

I don't want a stupid, yappy, furniture chewing little bastard pup which sheds hair and shites on the carpet. I want one with gratitude in its droopy eyes, which will love me for just being me, without the cuntyness and verbal viscera.

Trouble is, I'm afraid that I won't be able to walk the fucker due to my myriad maladies. Then I will feel like an actual true cunt. Not a pretend one, like my online persona, and the guilt might fuck me up.

Suggestions and advice now, please. Or I'll kill all your cats and lizards and other stupid animals you think are your pets.

[megabyteme]

Do you have a yard to send future death-row pardoned k9 out to run around? Throw a ball for the hairy fucker. Kibble. Water. And occasional reminder that he owes you his life. That's pretty much all there is to them.

My caution would be in getting invested emotionally in a pooch with an undetermined bloodline. Vet bills are fucking EXPENSIVE, especially for older pets. I find starting with a breed that's suited for your lifestyle and environment is the first step. The second is to get one that's from an ethical breeder who tests for genetic ailments and breeds for health.

Corgis are awesome. Hairy fuckers, but smart, loving, and small enough to kick if they cause trouble. Just show it that you are more stubborn than he/she is and you're off to a good start.

[megabyteme]

That's the Pembroke variety. We currently have a Cardigan and I'm less fond of it.

[chalice]

Corgis are out, I'm afraid. They were the favourite breed of Queen Elizabeth II, and there's a decent chance I might end up sleepwalking and kicking the poor thing to death. For the Republic.

[megabyteme]

Whatever breed you do get, make sure that particular dog is smart. We have two dogs. The one that's not the Cardigan is some Scandinavian thing. Dumb as can be. I can't get rid of it and I can barely stand to go downstairs where it lives. In fairness, I don't despise it like I once did, but that's mostly due to not interacting with it. :pinch:

[chalice]

Duly noted. Smart dog it is.

I've got a spacious enough back garden. But it'll mostly be a housey dog, so I can look at it when I'm bored.

Maybe a particularly small Border Collie or something similar.

[IdolEyes787]

Boston Terrier for indoor, Border Collie for outdoor.

[chalice]

Boston Terrier for indoor, Border Collie for outdoor.

I've just been offered a schnauzer pup. Cute as fuck, like, but I don't know if I can handle all the baby dog demolition job.

Are they smart or what?

[j2k4]

Golden Retriever.

[chalice]

Far too big for little old me, Kev.

[megabyteme]

Just a quick glance at schnauzers and I'm seeing these things that could be an issue. 1. Their size can range from quite small to very much full-size. Think along the same range as poodles-- from manageable to those gawdawful massive abominations. 2. They can be yappy. Think along the same lines as women-- they can be trained, some are even less-prone, but there's definitely potential for difficulty. 3. They need to be socialized or can become territorial towards other people/pets. Maybe the two of youse can consider that something to bond over. 4. They need to be kept groomed. Haircuts. Baths. Spa days.


How young is the one you have been offered? If it's a few months old and nobody has been working with it on some of these issues, as well as training it, then there's potentially an uphill battle. Younger is definitely a plus.

Consider costs for shots, toys, bedding, leash, collar, 'crate' so you can keep it from destroying stuff if/when you aren't there, food, treats. Initial costs can be higher than expected.

[megabyteme]

You should also start looking around at vets. Maybe call for rates and ask what's usually a good idea to do early on in the relationship.

[chalice]

The've barely opened their eyes. I predict yapping and a tremendous amount of piss. They look scary to me.

198267

[j2k4]

Spend as much time with them as Mama will allow.

Are they yours to keep?

[chalice]

Spend as much time with them as Mama will allow.

Are they yours to keep?

One of them, if I bite the bullet and commit.

[j2k4]

Puppies will generally reflect their human's intelligence, one way or another.

All puppies are Democrats until they're 18 weeks old.

[j2k4]

^All you need to remember^

[j2k4]

If you spend a bit of time with them, your pup will choose you.

[megabyteme]

Definitely cute. Do you get pick of all of them? Is this a breeder or an oops? If you get to pick from all of them, have them set out to free roam with each other. Avoid the runtime, it will most likely be smaller and (possibly) less stable on its feet. I tend to prefer the most dominant one. Watch for a few minutes and you will probably be able to spot it. More confidence. Stronger. Perhaps even more adventurous. Remember what I said about getting a smart one? Most likely the dominant. Better health wise, too. Downside is that they can be more stubborn.

[megabyteme]

*avoid the runt

[megabyteme]

Puppies will generally reflect their human's intelligence, one way or another.

All puppies are Democrats until they're 18 weeks old.

:lol:

We had a male Pembroke that was extremely smart. He not only knew the names of each of his toys, but also the rooms of the house. We would tell him to go get his [football]. And he would immediately start searching throughout the house. If he came back without it or brought the wrong toy hoping to slip it past us, we'd reject it then tell him that "I think I saw it in the [bedroom"]. He'd spit out what he had and run straight to that room.

His BIGGEST quirk is that he disliked all dogs *except* other Corgis. We joked that he was racist, but it was pretty much true.

[Caballero]

Puppies will generally reflect their human's intelligence, one way or another.

All puppies are Democrats until they're 18 weeks old.

Dementia starts that early?

[ayesha_naz]

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." - Roger Caras

[megabyteme]

What's your dog's name, Chalice?

[IdolEyes787]

I'm going with Alfie if it's a male , Sally if it's female and Princess Peanut Snugglesalot if it's a trans.

[megabyteme]

Considering its long nose and the amount of money it will take from Chalice, is there an appropriate Jewish name he could give it?

[IdolEyes787]

Ira Rosenbaum.

[IdolEyes787]

Harvey Weinstein if he's a bad boy.