Im Very Deppressed And Angry

[RGX]

Let me give you a break down of who I am. I am someone who constantly seeks attention. Whether it be childish insults or jokes, or hanging round wiht the "in" crowd, i need attention, I need to feel respected, I need to feel needed...and I dont get it because im so insecure with myself that people treat me as a shell someone who can be fun for a while but anything deeper? Fuck no.

My friends think im cool, but hardly talk to me unless about surface things, they talk to the shell of me, the character I have created that they all love, and the real m doesnt get a chance because im seen as an empty shell, with nothing deeper, and agressive, without any emotion....


And I feel suffocated, trapped, and very very alone. No one truly respects me, they like this false me I have built around myself....and theres nothing I can do because they wont take me as anything else now...

Sorry

[bigboab]

What age are RG?

[RGX]

17

[bigboab]

girl or boy?

[J'Pol]

Originally posted by RGX@14 December 2003 - 03:04
Let me give you a break down of who I am. I am someone who constantly seeks attention. Whether it be childish insults or jokes, or hanging round wiht the "in" crowd, i need attention, I need to feel respected, I need to feel needed...and I dont get it because im so insecure with myself that people treat me as a shell someone who can be fun for a while but anything deeper? Fuck no.

My friends think im cool, but hardly talk to me unless about surface things, they talk to the shell of me, the character I have created that they all love, and the real m doesnt get a chance because im seen as an empty shell, with nothing deeper, and agressive, without any emotion....


And I feel suffocated, trapped, and very very alone. No one truly respects me, they like this false me I have built around myself....and theres nothing I can do because they wont take me as anything else now...

Sorry
That's a bit superficial if you ask me.

[chalice]

Originally posted by J&#39;Pol+14 December 2003 - 02:10--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (J&#39;Pol @ 14 December 2003 - 02:10)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-RGX@14 December 2003 - 03:04
Let me give you a break down of who I am. I am someone who constantly seeks attention. Whether it be childish insults or jokes, or hanging round wiht the "in" crowd, i need attention, I need to feel respected, I need to feel needed...and I dont get it because im so insecure with myself that people treat me as a shell someone who can be fun for a while but anything deeper? Fuck no.

My friends think im cool, but hardly talk to me unless about surface things, they talk to the shell of me, the character I have created that they all love, and the real m doesnt get a chance because im seen as an empty shell, with nothing deeper, and agressive, without any emotion....


And I feel suffocated, trapped, and very very alone. No one truly respects me, they like this false me I have built around myself....and theres nothing I can do because they wont take me as anything else now...

Sorry
That&#39;s a bit superficial if you ask me. [/b][/quote]
Superficiality is only skin deep.

[RGX]

Can we please not do the witty banter? What I just said took a lot of thinking and searching and I genuinley need your advice


boy

[chalice]

Sorry. Never mind me.

[kurtsl0an]

i need attention, I need to feel respected, I need to feel needed
doesn&#39;t everyone feel that way?


im so insecure with myself
y do u feel insecure?
i think u should be able to just b yourself and talk about the things u wanna talk about - if your friends don&#39;t accept it or want 2 listen - they&#39;re not your real friends...u may be surprised at their reaction - maybe they don&#39;t know u have a deeper side 2 u?

[Aaron_T]

ok ive got a similar problem im wots known as the CRAZY ONE OF THE GROUP i do the stupidest things in order to make my friends like me but im always the one who the friendly insults are hit at ONLY ME and there are 10 of us

[J'Pol]

Originally posted by RGX@14 December 2003 - 03:14
Can we please not do the witty banter? What I just said took a lot of thinking and searching and I genuinley need your advice


boy
Yes, I&#39;m taking you seriously.

Your looking for personal advice from the lounge section of a p2p forum.

[hobbes]

Self confidence is a dear, dear commodity. Usually there is no clear cut reason why one person has it and another doesn&#39;t, it is not as clear cut as looks, height, or brains.

I think it bears largely on how your parents dealt with you. Did they call you "stupid", "ugly" or blame you for their problems. My parents were consistently positive. If I did something poorly or wrong, they would express disappointment because they were sure I was not applying my potential. So many people bear the limitations of what they were told at the ages of 4-6 for the rest of their lives.

You must determine why you are insecure then try and figure out if you can fix it. Next year, at college, you can see how strangers respond to the "real" you. Truth is that most people who attend college don&#39;t hang out with high school friends for life. You&#39;ve got that whole new experience ahead of you.

You ARE going to college, right?

[RGX]

@Kurt: I know what you are saying, and I wish it was as easy as that :(

@hobbes: Im taking an outside course, GNVQ or similar. As for parents, I guess I was always expected to do well...I was never specifically scolded for my mistakes, but I was always expected to get good grades, and be the golden boy as it were.....that may possibly have something to do with it

Thanks for this guys, it is helping

[chalice]

In a lot of groups of friends, certain roles are played by certain member of said group. I would guess it depends on when you entered the group and under what circumstances.

Your friends expect you to behave a certain way and you (perhaps unconsciously) comply because its what you&#39;re used to.

I would reckon it would be the test of any friendship for one side to go totally against the grain and either confront your "friends" or cut them off altogether. Either way, they would see it as a complete shift in behaviour and might just get them a&#39; wonderin&#39;.

[RGX]

i know what you are saying, but part of my insecurity is that my friends dont really notice me that much, so if i cut myself off they might just think it would be a bit odd but get on with it....which is better, living a lie with friends, or living the truth alone?

[Aaron_T]

if i do crazy stuff my friends call me daft and stupid but they like it

if i be a normal guy they call me Miserable

how do i get around that i need some help


sorry for asking help on someone elses thread

[chalice]

Lads, I don&#39;t know what to tell you.

Be yourself. Always. Be true to your soul and let yourself grow.

Be nobody&#39;s clown or punchbag.

And remember, you&#39;re only beginning to meet friends.

Some of the people you will meet in your lifetime will inspire and appreciate you without you feeling the need to impress them. Some of them you won&#39;t even meet.

[Virtualbody1234]

Originally posted by RGX@13 December 2003 - 21:59
which is better, living a lie with friends, or living the truth alone?
Live the truth and be alone. You will find out that new friends will appear.

You are showing good signs of personal growth and if your friends don&#39;t want to grow with you then that&#39;s their loss.

I wish you the best for you along this new path.

[chalice]

I&#39;ll assume, after that vast silence, that you&#39;ve all gone and hung yourselves.

Can I have your computers?

[namzuf9]

Dude, I can totally hearwhat your saying. I&#39;m 22 now and have realised who i am in the past 3 years. Fuck being popular, if the in crowd dont know you then whats the point? Be who you are and send a big ole fuck you out to the world.
The hardest thing in the world is to be yourself but once you do that you wil meet people like you.
Something that everyone feels is, out of a large group of pals you&#39;d be lucky to have just one as a real friend.

[Honey]

guys... a really good book to read is The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand,

it deals with the things you are talking about and makes for some excellent reading..

her theory of Objectivism is very enlightening, do we want to be "part of the crowd, or are we prepared to stand alone and do what is right for us?..

I recommend it&#33;.. :)

[hobbes]

Originally posted by Ozbabe@14 December 2003 - 08:35
guys... a really good book to read is The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand,

it deals with the things you are talking about and makes for some excellent reading..

her theory of Objectivism is very enlightening, do we want to be "part of the crowd, or are we prepared to stand alone and do what is right for us?..

I recommend it&#33;..&nbsp; :)
Ozbabe,

You are doling out some serious homework&#33;

Anyone who can understand that stuff, has no real need to read it.

[Honey]

Originally posted by hobbes+14 December 2003 - 14:46--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (hobbes @ 14 December 2003 - 14:46)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Ozbabe@14 December 2003 - 08:35
guys... a really good book to read is The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand,

it deals with the things you are talking about and makes for some excellent reading..

her theory of Objectivism is very enlightening, do we want to be "part of the crowd, or are we prepared to stand alone and do what is right for us?..

I recommend it&#33;.. :)
Ozbabe,

You are doling out some serious homework&#33;

Anyone who can understand that stuff, has no real need to read it. [/b][/quote]
its my psych background hobbes,

but its a terrific book for anyone who feels they don&#39;t fit in... :)

besides, it&#39;s set as a fictional work, a story.. so its not heavy reading.. ;)

[RGX]

Chalice, if I had hung myself you would be welcome to my PC. Unfortunatly for you though, I hads fallen asleep on my keyboard :lol:

Ozbabe, thanks for the reccomendation, I will definatly check it out

Namzuf9, thanks, its nice to know im not the only one, reading over this now in the light of day makes me feel like a whinging teenager, compared to what some of you are going through....thankyou for all your advice and support, I will work it out.

[Yogi]

living a lie with friends

If your pose is what your friends really see, they are no friends.

True friends either criticise you for acting and know about your facade, either they

know and accept it as a part of your personality.

If you don&#39;t integate your insecurity&#39;s in what you show people, you will truly stay

lonely, no matter how much people surround you.


SwamiYogi

[TheDave]

Originally posted by RGX@14 December 2003 - 02:04
Let me give you a break down of who I am. I am someone who constantly seeks attention. Whether it be childish insults or jokes, or hanging round wiht the "in" crowd, i need attention, I need to feel respected, I need to feel needed...and I dont get it because im so insecure with myself that people treat me as a shell someone who can be fun for a while but anything deeper? Fuck no.

My friends think im cool, but hardly talk to me unless about surface things, they talk to the shell of me, the character I have created that they all love, and the real m doesnt get a chance because im seen as an empty shell, with nothing deeper, and agressive, without any emotion....


And I feel suffocated, trapped, and very very alone. No one truly respects me, they like this false me I have built around myself....and theres nothing I can do because they wont take me as anything else now...

Sorry
hey rgx. i know exactly how you feel. last week i got pissed off because a group of us went to xscape then the whole commodity thing came to my mind. was i there just to be the clown? this kinda pissed me off. i spoke to them about it but they convinced me this was a good thing. i just had to think "fuck it". but its a kind of shallow existence to be the clown of the group.

[Honey]

Originally posted by RGX@14 December 2003 - 19:25
Chalice, if I had hung myself you would be welcome to my PC. Unfortunatly for you though, I hads fallen asleep on my keyboard :lol:

Ozbabe, thanks for the reccomendation, I will definatly check it out

Namzuf9, thanks, its nice to know im not the only one, reading over this now in the light of day makes me feel like a whinging teenager, compared to what some of you are going through....thankyou for all your advice and support, I will work it out.
RGX... there&#39;s never a bad time to ask for help, support or advice... :)

the bad time is when you dont... http://honey.funkychickz.co.uk/hug.gif

[RGX]

Originally posted by Ozbabe+14 December 2003 - 14:07--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Ozbabe @ 14 December 2003 - 14:07)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-RGX@14 December 2003 - 19:25
Chalice, if I had hung myself you would be welcome to my PC. Unfortunatly for you though, I hads fallen asleep on my keyboard&nbsp; :lol:

Ozbabe, thanks for the reccomendation, I will definatly check it out

Namzuf9, thanks, its nice to know im not the only one, reading over this now in the light of day makes me feel like a whinging teenager, compared to what some of you are going through....thankyou for all your advice and support, I will work it out.
RGX... there&#39;s never a bad time to ask for help, support or advice... :)

the bad time is when you dont... http://honey.funkychickz.co.uk/hug.gif [/b][/quote]
Thanks Ozbabe :hug: , everyones been very supportive, thankyou for any advice and kind PM&#39;s, and thanks Dave, thats pretty much my exact situation, hope we both work it out.

hugs: :hug:

[Honey]

you&#39;re welcome RGX.. anytime hon... :)

[TheDave]

Originally posted by Azzz@14 December 2003 - 03:02
if i do crazy stuff my friends call me daft and stupid but they like it

if i be a normal guy they call me Miserable

how do i get around that i need some help


sorry for asking help on someone elses thread
i get this. the best thing to do is not worry about it. they still appreciatte you as their friend, otherwise they wouldnt bother saying anything to you.


@RGX. i just read the whole post. i think we&#39;re definately in the same boat, maybe we should start group clowns anonymous. :)

[Wizard_Mon1]

RGX. my advice is take it slowly your only 17 youve got plenty of time to discover who you really are.

if you get rid of your friends now you might regret it in a month when your felling better. teh best thing to do is to introduce your self slowly to them don&#39;t tell tehm all this stuff just introduce new bits of your self everysooften. if tehy don&#39;t take well to teh new bits then you need some new friends. which at 17 is not to difficult a task.

what ever you do you need to feel comfortable in yourself so if your in a situation where you feel your not being yourself. just step back from teh convosation or what ever and re collect your self.

lastly don&#39;t worry about what other people think about you don&#39;t be like i wonder if they liek me or not. becaus eyou will never know if they really liek you until you are yourself.

Enjoy your youth dont worry or fret over it to much.

go buy your self somthing nice have a goood christmas and forget it.

[Skweeky]

Awwww RGX, this sounds like me when I was 17.

Hey listen, it&#39;s not wrong to burn all your bridges. It&#39;s better to do that instead of just trying to make the best of what you have. It can be painful, it can be difficult. But it&#39;s even harder to stay inside a crowd that doesn&#39;t even know who you really are. Go to places you usually don&#39;t go. Stay yourself, don&#39;t try to impress anyone with who you are (or would like to be).

There ARE people out there who will respect you for just being who you are, and they&#39;re not that hard to find.


/me hugs RGX

It&#39;ll get better, I promise

[WeeMouse]

Hey Man, listen - i&#39;ve just turned 18 and i left school this year. I went to work while ALL of my other pals went to University or College, so trust me when i say "this is when you find out who your true friends are".

I&#39;ve drifted away from some, grown apart from others but the ones who like me for being me (Small, strange, talking crap) are still hangin about.

I am the crazy and bizarre one of all my pals, but it&#39;s not an act. I really am THAT weird :D I have about 3 really good friends. Friendships like that take time so forge, so just meet people and see what happens&#33; Not every single person will like you (some people don&#39;t like ME&#33; :o ) But screw &#39;em&#33;

That&#39;s the ramblings straight from the mind of Mouse&#33;

[dwightfry]

Originally posted by RGX@13 December 2003 - 20:04
Let me give you a break down of who I am. I am someone who constantly seeks attention. Whether it be childish insults or jokes, or hanging round wiht the "in" crowd, i need attention, I need to feel respected, I need to feel needed...and I dont get it because im so insecure with myself that people treat me as a shell someone who can be fun for a while but anything deeper? Fuck no.

My friends think im cool, but hardly talk to me unless about surface things, they talk to the shell of me, the character I have created that they all love, and the real m doesnt get a chance because im seen as an empty shell, with nothing deeper, and agressive, without any emotion....


And I feel suffocated, trapped, and very very alone. No one truly respects me, they like this false me I have built around myself....and theres nothing I can do because they wont take me as anything else now...

Sorry
I am the exact same way. If I started this post, I wouldn&#39;t be surprised if I would have written the exact same thing word for word. Unfortunatly I don&#39;t have any solutions. I&#39;m hoping to get help by the replies as well. Just so you know though, your not alone.


My story:

I used to, and to this day, still feel stupid and bad about myself after hanging out with friends. My IQ drops 40 points and that is how they saw me. When I started dating my now ex-girlfriend of 3 years, It was the first time that I felt I was really being myself. I wasn&#39;t acting stupid to get people to like me. You know what happened? They stopped calling, the talked to Rachel (My GF) and said they don&#39;t like hanging out with me when I&#39;m with her, which sucked because for the first time I was happy. After weeks without hanging out with people, I got back to my old routine. I&#39;m still trying to figuar out what to do. It doesn&#39;t seem right that I hang out with them if I don&#39;t like who I become while doing it.