The F*ck Word

[Autumn Fox]

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English
language is the word "F*ck." It is the one magical word, which, just by
it's sound describes pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "F*ck"
falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both
transitive(John f*cked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was f*cked by John).
It can be an active verb (Mary doesn't really give a f*ck), an adverb (Mary
is really f*cking interested in John), a noun (Mary is a terrific f*ck), or
as an adjective (Mary is f*cking beautiful). As you can see, there are
very few words with the versatility of "Fuck."

Besides it's sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to
describe many situations:

It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a f*cking asshole."
It can be used to tell time - "It's five f*cking thirty."
It can be used in business - "How did I end up with this f*cking job?"
It can be maternal - as in "Motherf*cker."


Valuable Vocabulary Chart:
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Greetings.............. "How the f*ck are you?"
Fraud.................. "I got f*cked by the car dealer."
Dismay................. "Oh, f*ck it."
Trouble................ "Hell, I guess I'm f*cked now."
Aggression............. "F*ck you."
Disgust................ "F*ck me."
Confusion.............. "What the f*ck...?"
Difficulty............. "I don't understand this f*cking business."
Despair................ "F*cked again."
Exasperation........... "For f*ck's sake."
Enjoyment.............. "This is f*cking great."
Hostility.............. "I'm going to knock your f*cking head off."
Stupidity.............. "Geir Bergerud is a F*ckwit!"
Incompetence........... "He's such a f*ck-up."
Ignorance.............. "F*cked if I know."
Displeasure............ "What the f*ck is going on here?"
Lost................... "Where the f*ck are we?"
Disbelief.............. "Unf*ckingbelievable!"
Retaliation............ "Up your f*cking ass."
Surprise............... "F*ckin'A!"
Surprise............... "Well, I'll be f*cked."
Suspicion.............. "What the f*ck are you doing?"
Contempt............... "F*ck you and the horse you rode in on!"

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Some Famous Quotes from History:

General Custer's last words:
"Look at all the f*cking Indians!"

Mayor of Hiroshima:
"Holy F*CK!!!"

Captain of the Titanic:
"Where's all that f*cking water coming from?"

Bill Clinton:
"She's just a f*cking intern!"

John Lennon:
"That's not a real f*cking gun..."

President Nixon:
"Who's gonna f*cking know?"

Space Shuttle Captain:
"Who let that f*cking woman drive?"

King Harold:
"Watch 'im, he'll 'ave some f*cker's eye out!"

Einstein:
"Any f*cker could understand that."

Donald Campbell:
"Where's the f*cking brakes on this thing?!"

Christopher Columbus:
"Where the f*ck are we?"

Iraqi airbase staff:
"What the f*ck's that coming down the ventilation shaft?"

Michaelangelo:
"You want what on the f*cking ceiling?!"

John F. Kennedy:
"I need this parade like I need a f*cking hole in my head..."

Edmund Hillary:
"Why? -- Because it's f*cking there!"

[muchspl2]

old
Here is the original Carlin comedy routine that caused the Fracas.

"I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I uh, I think is important. I love..as I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have really.

We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid. You know, [humming]. And, then we assign a word to a thought, [clicks tongue]. And we're stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that aren't into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them that you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven. Bad words. That's what they told us they were, remember? 'That's a bad word.' 'Awwww.' There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad Intentions.

And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, wow. Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list.

Actually, none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I am not completely insensitive to people's feelings. You know, I can dig why some of those words got on the list...like cocksucker and motherfucker. Those are...those are heavy-weight words. There's a lot going on there, man. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those K's. Those are aggressive sounds, they jump out at you. CocksuckerMotherfuckerCocksucker. It's like an assault, on you. So I can dig that.

And we mentioned shit earlier, of course. Two of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. But forget about that. A little accidental humor there. Piss and Cunt. The reason Piss and Cunt are on the list is that a long time ago certain ladies said 'Those are the two I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit, but P and C are out. P and C are out.' Which led to such stupid sentences as 'OK, you fuckers, I am going to tinkle now.'

And of course the word Fuck. The word Fuck, I don't really...well, this is some more accidental humor, but I don't really want to get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It's the beginning of life, and, yet it's a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with. 'Okay Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now. But we're gonna fuck ya slow.' So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' rap on that word. I hope so.

Uh, there are two-way words, but those are the seven you can never say on television. Under any circumstances you just can not say them ever, ever ever, not even clinically. You can not weave them in the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny, I mean it's just impossible, forget those seven, they're out.

But, there are some two-way words. There are double-meaning words. Remember the ones your giggled at in sixth grade? 'And the cock crowed three times.''Hey, the cock the cock crowed three times. It's in the bible.' There are some Two-way words, like it's okay for Kirk Goudy(sp?) to say 'Roberto Clemente has two balls on him.' But he can't say, 'I think he hurt his balls on that play Tony, don't you? He's holding them. He must have hurt them by God.' And the other two-way word that goes with that one is prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick. No, no."

[Autumn Fox]

Originally posted by muchspl2@16 February 2004 - 01:03
(...)
Yes, you can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick. No, no."
Interesting...and the last sentence ;)

[mondaeo]

dont bother replying if all youre gonna do is tell someone somebody has already use that joke, very few jokes are original and everyso often two people on the same board have heard that same joke, autumn fox is just trying to tell people that havent heard about a really funny topic and people like you try to make it less funny by saying stuff like "oh iv heard it so youre not original&#33;" <_<

well done autumn&#33; :D

[Samurai]

So... what the FUCK is this then?

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fwordflash.html

I knew that post sounded too familiar... how long did it take you to listen to it and copy the text onto the forum?

Fools.

[dgmortal]

Originally posted by Samurai@15 February 2004 - 21:52
So... what the FUCK is this then?

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fwordflash.html

I knew that post sounded too familiar... how long did it take you to listen to it and copy the text onto the forum?

Fools.
thats not even the original version....someone seems to have taken a great piece of work, changed words here and there, and is pretending it is there own <_< .

[muchspl2]

I love drama

[Samurai]

Originally posted by dg_mortal@16 February 2004 - 04:30
thats not even the original version....someone seems to have taken a great piece of work, changed words here and there, and is pretending it is there own <_< .
You miss the point.

The link I posted is literally word for word on the original post above.

[Bowen747x]

thats much better in an audio file or the flash video thats been made but rare 2 find, its only funny the first time tho :P

[Biggles]

I think Feck is a great word

http://www.fathertedonline.ukf.net/Images/characterpagephotos/jackface.jpg

[atiVidia]

awww FUCK THIS

this is fo mother fucking old&#33; i mean, what the fuck&#33; im sure every fucking fucker on this fucking planet fucking saw this fucking MOVIE&#33; I mean, FUCK&#33; this is FUCKING OLD NEWZ, you fuckers&#33;

lol that was fun...

no offense intended to anyone on this board AT ALL

[Smith]

copies straight form ebaumsworld <_<

[Bowen747x]

yea thats where i saw the vid i think