Hardware World Complete List Of Noob Questions

[Dray_04]

Hi ther, im new to this whole...."hardware thing" and i have come up with a list of questions... which i am sure you can answer....

...also feel free to write down your list of "important" hardware questions

1) Where can i download hardware?

2) Should i buy the latest geforce 2 64mb for $400?

3) what is overclocking?

4) what is a CPU and what does it do?

5) whats the difference between a monitor and a 3 and a half inch flppy?

6) this isnt a question...more of a statement....

..IM BORED!!

WRITE DOWN SOME FUNNY NEWB QUESTIONS!!!

1 will do.... we will see how many questions pop up that we can all relate to

:huh: :o :D :lol:

[bigdawgfoxx]

1. You cannot, hardware is physical, not software. You have to buy it.

2. NO! But a Radeon 9800XT.

3. Overclocking is when you use a certain part at above its normal, rated speed.

4. A CPU is a central processing unit. It carries out the commands of the rest of the computer....and some other stuff.

5. A monitor is something that displays what you are doing with your computer. A 3 and a half inch floppy stores data, basicly.

6. what the hell is this for?

[Dray_04]

omfg i thort it wud be so obvious...

its a joke.

a place in hardware world where we can be humourous. u werent spose to answer the damn questions....

u were supose to add on to it! :blink:

[tesco]

my computer screen turned off suddenly and i thought it was unplugged but i cant really see the plug to make sure because we have no light here the power has gone out can anybody help me with my monitor problem? with no power the only thing i have to do is play video games HELP me PLEASE!

:lol: :lol: it was a rephrased tech support call joke i read that ive changed into a question, did my best.

[peat moss]

Is this a test ? :lol:

[Virtualbody1234]

How do I post here? :unsure:

[kaiweiler]

Originally posted by Virtualbody1234@1 March 2004 - 23:29
How do I post here? :unsure:
Whats a moderator?! :huh:
sounds dumb.....














:lol:

[tesco]

im looking to buy the latest version of the internet, where can i buy it? i live in canada btw.

[bigdawgfoxx]

haha i know it was a joke..but i answered them cuz im a noob! get it! haha

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

10 minutes after i let my computer set still, my monitor shuts off!?!? if i move the manual input device, it comes back on. could this be a video card problem?

[Dray_04]

LOL

i bought a mouse off this website but they forgot to put the ball in, however they did put in a flash looking red glow light...

should i return it?

[Dray_04]

also i just bought a game... :o

but my cd rom isnt reading it....

i take the cd outta the case...

open the cd rom

place the cd so that the reflective part is facing upwards and the image is at the bottom

and close the cd rom..


now... i know ive done everything righht, but its not reading the cd for some reason..?

Can some1 help me

:huh:

[clocker]

I want to overclock my machine to the max and really get the most out of it.
What is BIOS...I haven't seen any at CompUSA?

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

the cup holder that came with my computer is broken (it wont come out anymore). where can i buy a new one??

[Dray_04]

how do i reply on this?

[Rip The Jacker]

@dray_02

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/misc15.jpg

:D

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

someone gave me a cd with an anti-virus software on it, and i dont know how to install it...................................this IS the place for software questions...right?

[zapjb]

My RAM won't fit all the way in the slot thingy. Can I hammer it in the last little bit?

My HDD is making louder clicking noises than usual. Does that mean it's getting full?

My CPU fan thingy came with this gum-like stuff on it. I rubbed it off with a terry cloth. I think I smell smoke? Edit: Typing this on a different computer. What happened?

WHY DOES EVERYBODY THINK I'M YELLING?


That's it I'm done. Goodnight Irene. :lol:

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

how come when i hit the enter key 3 times


this happens?

[Rip The Jacker]

Originally posted by Mïcrösöül°V³@1 March 2004 - 23:58
how come when i hit the enter key 3 times


this happens?
Out of all the silly questions, that one made me laugh out loud. :lol:

[Dray_04]

this one is old but sum1 has to say it...


...where the F#($ is the ANY key

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

Originally posted by dray_02@2 March 2004 - 02:06
this one is old but sum1 has to say it...


...where the F#($ is the ANY key
http://www.microsoulv3.com/any.jpg

[knuckledragger66]

My computer is a lot more quiet when I unplug all of those fans!

[james_bond_rulez]

what is a computer? :huh: lolz...

[Dray_04]

i am on my computer right now and i cant connect to the internet...

i think my modem is stuffed up. can someone tell me how to fix this problem. thanks just email me :P

[lynx]

I bought an Amd Athlon XP3200+ but it is only running as 2.2GHz. :angry:
Why do I have to overclock it to make it run as fast as an Intel?

Please help.
Abu.

[lynx]

If I post my specs who do I send them to?

I can't see too well without them, when will I get them back?

[Evil Gemini]

What brand is your computer ??

(fuck i hate this question)

[lynx]

I'm thinking of buying one of these
http://filesharingtalk.com/digs/garbage.JPG

Is it any good?

[tesco]

Originally posted by lynx@2 March 2004 - 08:13
I'm thinking of buying one of these
http://filesharingtalk.com/digs/garbage.JPG

Is it any good?
pic isnt working...

edit: nevermind im a little slow :lol:

[clocker]

" How come my keyboard isn't in alphabetical order?"

" Windows ME is the best OS EVER!"

"All of my floppy disks are pretty stiff...does this mean they are stale?"

[j4y3m]

Originally posted by dray_02@2 March 2004 - 01:43
5) whats the difference between a monitor and a 3 and a half inch flppy?
:lol: :lol: :lol: Uhh... Why won't Prince of Persia work on my computer? I have all the latest hardware...

eVoodoo GFX card
32MB RAM
400Mhz Processor
4GB harddrive etc...

[j4y3m]

and this one http://filesharingtalk.com/index.php?showtopic=102771

[clocker]

"I keep being that I have to hit Ctrl+Alt+Del to open Task Manager. How the heck can I hold four keys down at the same time ( and "+" TWICE)?"

[Mad Cat]

It said there was a driver disc inside but all I found was a shiny coaster....? :unsure:

[Peerzy]

When i overclock, do i change the time, or the date? :unsure:

Peerzyboy :cool2:

[kaiweiler]

Originally posted by Mïcrösöül°V³@2 March 2004 - 01:40
the cup holder that came with my computer is broken (it wont come out anymore). where can i buy a new one??
It's sad cuz I know someone who actually did this!! :frusty:

[kazaa2002]

Dray, I had this question asked of me last week...

"what is a mouse?" ...and he was serious. :unsure: :blink:

[_John_Lennon_]

Originally posted by peerzyboy@2 March 2004 - 12:36
When i overclock, do i change the time, or the date? :unsure:

Peerzyboy :cool2:
A HAHAHAHA!!!!



Rofl , thats good stuff.

[Dray_04]

Originally posted by kazaa2002@3 March 2004 - 10:12
Dray, I had this question asked of me last week...

"what is a mouse?" ...and he was serious. :unsure: :blink:
hahaha...


btw... is CPU short for Computer?


:huh:

[tesco]

my friend wants me to buy his old system. he says its an amazing gaming system and ill love it! hes buying a new dell gaming system for $4,500 tommorrow.

the specs are:

p3 900mhz
128mb sdram
16mb onboard video
and many more amazing parts.

think i should go for it? hes selling for $2,500.


*people proceed to tell him that the specs are crap and hes getting ripped off*

*after a few days he finally returns*

well i dont care what you guys say it is an awsome computere! i tried it out and it was running pacman flawlessly! i just bought it...

*after a month he returns to complain about up-to-date games not running on his computer*

[Keikan]

Whats a computer?

[bigdawgfoxx]

Peerzyboys overclock one was HALARIOUS,

Clocker, the windows ME one being the best...thats just WRONG haha

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

i had a picture that looked like this http://no.com/ass.jpg

and now it looks like this http://no.com/ass.jpg

i think some hacker stole my picture :(

is there a program that will get it back for me?

[Dray_04]

is it annoying....




(continued...)

[Dray_04]

...when i finish my previous reply in a new post?

[_John_Lennon_]

Originally posted by dray_02@2 March 2004 - 21:30
...when i finish my previous reply in a new post?
Reboot and ask again later.

[Dray_04]

i just rebooted my computer....

and now it doesnt work, im on my friends comp.

do you think i should boot it again.... harder?

[bigdawgfoxx]

HAHAHAHA where do you guys think up this halarious ass shit???! haha

boot it harder...omfg rotfgl haha

[tesco]

i think my video card is going bad...i was typing up my homework for school on my new computer and i keep making typos so ive been using white out to correct my errors. now when i closed word my screen went all white.

i havent overclocked it does anbody know whats wrong? btw, i doubt this has anything to do with it but a fan on some kind of rectangular card thing attached in teh computer was kinda loud so i stuck a pencil in it.

[bigdawgfoxx]

hahahahahah omfg...i aint got nothin funny...not creative enough...so ill just laugh at yalls shit haha

[tesco]

Originally posted by bigdawgfoxx@2 March 2004 - 23:13
hahahahahah omfg...i aint got nothin funny...not creative enough...so ill just laugh at yalls shit haha
google for funny computer noob questions or something like that and post them or search for computer jokes then reword them to make them into a question.

[Dray_04]

i hear the geforce fx5200 are the best cards out ther out the mo... :)

[tesco]

this isnt a funny question but it is pretty annoying...

the teachers at my school are always so strict about what u do on the computers becausew they're always saying, "the school had that big virus that you cant get rid of and they had to reinstalll every computer, and its hard work you know, takes hours for each one, so dont go getting viruses."

first off the virus was the blaster virus which they could have easily gotten rid of but were too lazy so they reinstalled windows on each computer (200+ comps btw).

they say it takes hours to install each one, actually they put in a bios password to make it boot from floppy then they put in some floppy boot disc and it automatically starts formatting and installing from network server. the disc can be removed after about 2 minutes and you go onto the next computer...they had like 20 guys working on this. took what like 20 minutes? lol. longest part was for them to wait for it to copy all of the files. once it finished it was all ready to login to the network as they do now.

last they think im going to get viruses on their computers by opening a project i did at home ( :lol: i dont have viruses lol) or by using google to search for research or something (they are yahoo! fans). every time i get the same thing, and im sick of it.

[Keikan]

My friend is a computer n00b right so....

Me: Do you have Quicktime?
Him: I dunno where would it be?
Me: Look in the start menu (since he's got a preconfigured load of crap hp celeron pc)
Him: What start menu?
Me: The one with the programs
Him: oh that start menu

[Dray_04]

how much should i sell my old 2mb stick or RAM?

i was thinking... $60 but only because its 8 years old.... but in MINT CONDITION!!!

[adamp2p]

Originally posted by bigdawgfoxx@2 March 2004 - 20:09
HAHAHAHA where do you guys think up this halarious ass shit???! haha

boot it harder...omfg rotfgl haha
:lol:

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

my puter has been slowing down quite a bit, and a friend told me i needed to clean my hard drive.
should i just wash it in the sink, or is it ok to use the dishwasher? :helpsmile:

[abu_has_the_power]

i'm sitting in front of a big grayish box that makes noise. and i see a bunch of letters all jumbled together on a big plastic board thingy. :huh: am i in the matrix???



:lol: ;)

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

how do i get you guys to help me? do i type something here, or is your phone numbers listed somewhere?

[knuckledragger66]

I have a problem, where do you buy stamps for e-mail. I have a ton of mail to take to the post office. :helpsmile:

[gungrave]

:blink: what does the on button do? lol
EDIT: turning a pc on: get nakid and dance round it. shame it dont work
:rolleyes:
windows me but what about him and her :blink:
when i put some music cds on the pc all they do is sit there :lol:
my cat dont like the mouse it finds it boring...

[lynx]

? (http://filesharingtalk.com/index.php?showtopic=102856) :-"

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

RAMBUS is the best memory that will ever be created...................right :huh:

[Mïcrösöül°V³]

Im on a friends comp right now. I cant get Call of Duty to play on my Tandy computer. I put the CD in the slot and pushed down the lever, and all i hear is a crunching sound, and then my cd is broken in half. The game still isnt installed, even after my computer cracked the CD open and got the information out of it. Whats wrong?

here is a picture of my CD drive.
http://www.microsoulv3.com/floppy.jpg
Notice the in use light isn't lit up...... :ph34r:

[kaiweiler]

Originally posted by lynx@3 March 2004 - 10:23
? (http://filesharingtalk.com/index.php?showtopic=102856) :-"
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I know this guy!
He usually isn't to stupid at all, maybe he was drunk....

[knuckledragger66]

I keep going through mice. I'm buying the wireless ones. Here's the problem, they keep moving buy them selves. I don't get it. And every time I try to click a button something leeks out of it and I only get one click. (But the mouse stops moving by its self) Any suggestions would be nice. :frusty:

[Dray_04]

should i leave my credit card details with you or should i email them to the friendly guy from yahoo who keeps offering me UNBELIEVABLE offers on dildos

[clocker]

"Well, she says she's thirteen and a virgin...do people lie on the Internet?"

[Dray_04]

Originally posted by clocker@4 March 2004 - 23:02
"Well, she says she's thirteen and a virgin...do people lie on the Internet?"
thats right big boi....

...and make sure you bring plenty of lube. but shhhhh dont tell your parents...



omfg sick :lol:

[clocker]

"Tech support wants me to back up all my files.
Where is reverse?"

[100%]

Is the internet open on weekends?

[fred devliegher]

-help omg i have a vireus i open a ting and it says raed only i press the on buton a few time fast this works for mu tv but now nothin works LOL need help now my peaper is on the comuter it needs it LOL neo rulezz

-"RAM DISK" is not an installation procedure

- my screen is to dark so i put moer power in it to mak it brigter LOL but now my kikazz comp smells of burnin have i got a trojen

- sweet i haked my os teday M$ suks i used contrel panl to hak the wallpapr an make it green so how do i overclok my cpu do i use te TURBO button (note : from an actual conversation)

- Can I use my Ipod with my Atari ST ?

[Dray_04]

Originally posted by fred devliegher@5 March 2004 - 00:09
-help omg i have a vireus i open a ting and it says raed only i press the on buton a few time fast this works for mu tv but now nothin works LOL need help now my peaper is on the comuter it needs it LOL neo rulezz

-"RAM DISK" is not an installation procedure

- my screen is to dark so i put moer power in it to mak it brigter LOL but now my kikazz comp smells of burnin have i got a trojen

- sweet i haked my os teday M$ suks i used contrel panl to hak the wallpapr an make it green so how do i overclok my cpu do i use te TURBO button (note : from an actual conversation)

- Can I use my Ipod with my Atari ST ?
did any1 else not understand this? :huh:

[fred devliegher]

did any1 else not understand this?


Mission accomplished :P

[Dray_04]

Originally posted by fred devliegher@5 March 2004 - 00:29

did any1 else not understand this?


Mission accomplished :P
:o oh thank god!!


:P good work


B) those schpelling mistakz was anonying me

[tesco]

i have cable internet and a friend told me to buy a router to share my internet with my computers so i nought one. i got an expensive one, a makita 5 amp. well i plugged it into teh wall outlet but im not sure where to plug the network cables in. do i put them in the part with the spinning bit or the air vents on teh side? btw, why are routers so loud? dont they know people like to sleep at night? and why is the spinny blade thing so sharp? it cut my fringer up pretty bad.

[knuckledragger66]

I just got this great new <span style='color:purple'>black and white monitor, its alot better than the green ones you all use.</span>

[Dray_04]

6 pages of noob questions and theories so far....

...how many more questions are there in the world?