Workplace Nightmare

[sArA]

Hi people,

Well, I guess it had to come to this, I have not been happy at work pretty much since I started 7 months ago. Anyway, had an appraisal last week and never in my whole life have I seen such a complete slag off. I am involving the union, personnel, the director and anyone who may be able to help with suggestions.

Basically, my boss has a long running reputation for fucking up people. She (yep a woman) has directly or indirectly caused 3 secretaries to leave (1 had a nervous breakdown) and 4 researchers. She belittles, patronises and talks down to everyone. Anyway, I was dumped in an office on my own and told to get on with work I have never done before in a field I have never worked in before. I have consistently tried to improve things and have brought things up at team meetings about the lack of support to no avail.

Now I find I have a battle on my hands, she wants rid of me but fortunately for me she took her eye off the ball and I passed my probation period so now it is harder for her. However, I am being set up for a fall with unrealistic targets and constant 'reminders' of my obligations to the project. Apparently it could take her a year to get rid of me through disciplinary procedures but that could damage my career.

So is there anyone with union or employment law experience or just some ideas to alleviate the situation whilst protecting my need to pay the mortgage?

[bigboab]

All I can suggest Sarah is keep your head down and do everything legal(workwise) that you are asked to do. Keep a copy of all dubious e-mails and replies. If you are asked to do anything dubious ask a senior colleague for their advice and log it.


I have came up against people like this before. Right will win in the end. Someone is taking notice, they are just waiting their chance to fire her. :)

[SnowyTheDj]

Yes i agree, you have to keep working to the best of your abilities. They can not ask more of you than that. Maybe go to her and say the things she is asking you to do are unrealistic and that you are trying your best but if she keeps demanding more of you then you will have to see your union rep, this may show her that your ARE willing to do the work BUT NOT willing to be pushed around by her.

Good luck and i hope things work out.

[shn]

Welcome to the Real World.

Sucks don't it? :)

[sArA]

I only wish it was so simple but it has already gone further. I see personnel on Thursday for the 2nd time, and my boss has offered a way to 'show my ability by the quality of my work' by giving me a project that is going to be a real struggle to complete on time. I have a choice whether to accept her proposal, if I don't I am fucked and if I do I am gonna really struggle, either way, this aint gonna be fun :(

[brenda]

if you are in a union you have a legal right to have a union representative present at any kind of disciplinary meeting or any meeting that you instifgate with your superiors regarding your mistreatment. Don't let them wrangle you into a corner and stand your ground

what is it with female bosses that they alway have to throw their weight around?

[bujub22]

if your in a union you don't have to take her shit no matter how respected she is in the company ,either get the union involded or sue for discrimination .

yes u can get her for that !

i sued a nursing home for that :01: flukkers
:lol: and the police :( but they won the war i won the battle??

[Sid Hartha]

I was in a similar situation about 8 years ago.

Like you, I tried to make things work and did the best I could but things never improved.

After 2 years of being miserable, I quit and found another job. It was the best decision I ever made.

Life is too short. Start looking now. ;)

[delphin460]

i hate to tell you this but life is a struggle , instead of whining about the workload, just get it done , we all live with presure and expectations to perform at work , if it takes you a few extra hours a wek to get your work done the fine, thats whats called devotion to duty

timeframe and due dates are all important , if you realy feel you cant perform at the level required, then i sugest you leave for your own sake and get an easier job

What you have to undestand is this company doesnt owe you a job , they dont have to keep you, you must show them you are worthy of keeping

p.s work is not fun all the time , or even most of the time

my 2 cents

( this may sem harsh but its life, jobs are not easy to come by, i would do anything in my power to ensure i ketp it )

[shn]

Originally posted by delphin460@6 April 2004 - 19:57
i hate to tell you this but life is a struggle , instead of whining about the workload, just get it done , we all live with presure and expectations to perform at work , if it takes you a few extra hours a wek to get your work done the fine, thats whats called devotion to duty

timeframe and due dates are all important , if you realy feel you cant perform at the level required, then i sugest you leave for your own sake and get an easier job

What you have to undestand is this company doesnt owe you a job , they dont have to keep you, you must show them you are worthy of keeping

p.s  work is not fun all the time , or even most of the time

my 2 cents

( this may sem harsh but its life, jobs are not easy to come by, i would do anything in my power to ensure i ketp it )
Well said.

Excellent reply ;)

[j2k4]

Sara-

The only advice I can give you is generic.

First, document everything, in every way you can; memos, e-mails, witnesses, your own written record, even tape her if you can.

Look at it as building a case; that is, after all, what you are doing.

Be very subservient and accomodating in her company.

Casually mention you've been offered other employment, but that you're not sure the work is challenging enough (even though the money is very good), and that you are well and truly torn at the prospect.

Be calm as you can manage.

That being said, unless someone higher up the ladder than your boss takes an interest in the situation, you are ultimately shoveling shit against the tide.

You'd best be looking for another situation in any case; put some feelers out there and see if anything happens.

If and when you're ensconced elsewhere, package up your documentation, and deliver it to the appropriate party; maybe even get statements from the other offended parties that you mentioned.

Might be a cold dish to feast on down the road a bit. ;)

Good luck, Doc! :)

[sArA]

Originally posted by shn+7 April 2004 - 04:00--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (shn &#064; 7 April 2004 - 04:00)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin-delphin460@6 April 2004 - 19:57
i hate to tell you this but life is a struggle , instead of whining about the workload, just get it done , we all live with presure and expectations to perform at work , if it takes you a few extra hours a wek to get your work done the fine, thats whats called devotion to duty

timeframe and due dates are all important , if you realy feel you cant perform at the level required, then i sugest you leave for your own sake and get an easier job

What you have to undestand is this company doesnt owe you a job , they dont have to keep you, you must show them you are worthy of keeping

p.s work is not fun all the time , or even most of the time

my 2 cents

( this may sem harsh but its life, jobs are not easy to come by, i would do anything in my power to ensure i ketp it )
Well said.

Excellent reply ;)[/b][/quote]
Hmmm, I see you have not grasped the situation here.

I have tried to explain my situation in order to draw on the wealth of experience some of my friends on this forum have.

I work in a University, and was taken on partly because of my expertise, which has not been utilised. The union agree that I have been asked to do something I have NEVER done before and at a higher level than I was originally employed.

I have been berated for lack of performance whilst being ignored or patronised when asking for guidance. Further, helpful information for my research has been withheld thus making it easier to fail.

I am looking for a better and more ethical job but in the meantime, I still have to deal with this situation.

This is not whining, this is just not on.

You two have clearly never been in such a situation to judge. I too have not had this kind of treatment before. It is exceptional in its subtlety and yet just as demoralising.

Please respect the fact that situations are not always so simplistic as you seem to imply here.

[delphin460]

More excuses, this seems half you problem

I am 40 years old, i have had more jobs than you could ever know , where i was expected to do what ever was required without question, abused by bosses and left to wade in the deep end without help

all i am saying is, just get on with it , grit your teeth and do the job better than they even think you can, stop looking at ways to fail and start looking for ways to make it work and get it done



I have tried to explain my situation in order to draw on the wealth of experience some of my friends on this forum have.

and yet when i try to give you some advice you didnt like it cause it wasnt what you wanted to hear. ( im thinking that you also do this to your boss when you dont get the answer you are after )

I do not withdraw my first post in any way sara
instead of looking at why you are going to fail, start looking at ways to succeed

[b4icu]

Originally posted by delphin460@7 April 2004 - 01:57
i hate to tell you this but life is a struggle , instead of whining about the workload, just get it done , we all live with presure and expectations to perform at work , if it takes you a few extra hours a wek to get your work done the fine, thats whats called devotion to duty

timeframe and due dates are all important , if you realy feel you cant perform at the level required, then i sugest you leave for your own sake and get an easier job

What you have to undestand is this company doesnt owe you a job , they dont have to keep you, you must show them you are worthy of keeping

p.s work is not fun all the time , or even most of the time

my 2 cents

( this may sem harsh but its life, jobs are not easy to come by, i would do anything in my power to ensure i ketp it )
Really bad attitude Delphin. With a viewpoint like that, workers rights mean nothing. The problem is the boss, not Sara. Some people simply cannot tolerate abuse, and bravo to them, this is a strength, not a weakness. Sara, heed j2k4&#39;s advice. This situation can change, but you will need to push yourself to fix it correctly. Either that, or quit and let the next poor sap have to deal with the same situation. Why does crap always seem to float to the top?

[delphin460]

b4icu
The problem is the boss, not Sara

you judge this from one side of the story mate, im sorry but i have see in the last 15 years a sharp drop in the quality and dedication from young employees, they come thinking the are owed a job

i do believe in rights , but rights for everyone. its a 50 50 relationship, and both parties need to meet in the middle, to achieve a working balance

just cause she is a chick you feel sorry for her, if this topic was from a bloke you would be telling him to pull his socks up and get on with it

i have a right to say what i think here, and just because my opinion isnt what you want to hear does that make it wrong

[j2k4]

Originally posted by delphin460@7 April 2004 - 20:23

just cause she is a chick you feel sorry for her, if this topic was from a bloke you would be telling him to pull his socks up and get on with it

i have a right to say what i think here, and just because my opinion isnt what you want to hear does that make it wrong
Exercising your rights, eh?

There are times and places; this isn&#39;t one of them.

For your purposes, you may consider this the "crowded theater" of career advice.

Sara is not a "chick".

Sara is not a youngster.

She&#39;s also got a lot more tact than you.

If she says you&#39;ve "not grasped" the situation, I would urge you to take her word for it.

If you still feel your take on the situation is valid, by all means, give her the benefit of your gracious expertise.

Then we can all sit back and watch her drop you like a turd from a tall horse. ;)

[Samurai]

sara5564,

Where are you from? I have experience in Employment Law but only in the UK. Laws may differ slightly from country to country.

If you&#39;re in need of some guidance, I&#39;d be more than happy to help.

[j2k4]

BTW, Sara-

What position does your boss hold?

Is she an academic or some uni functionary? :huh:

[delphin460]

ah so if i dont agree with what she says or you for that matter im wrong hey, well that puts me and her boss in the same place then, obviously wrong &#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

how two faced do you want to be, i was giving her career advice , if its too hot in the kitchen " get out"

and i though she needed advice and not tact , this aint finishing school , its real life and the school of hard knocks, get real, sometimes you just dont get along with an employee and thats all there is too it

why must it be that this boss is some sort of devil woman out to get everyone she works with, if she was she would have been taken down long ago


There are times and places; this isn&#39;t one of them.

j2k4 dont be a wanker , this is the place , if she didnt want 2 sides of debate and she just wanted to be patronised, then why post on a public forum.

and as i said we only have one side to her story, how can you even take such a one eyed stance on this situation yourself ,

Get of your high horse yourself tosser and take a look at like from both sides
it takes two to make an arguement

[Samurai]

delphin460

I have been in exactly the same situation and I have to say it is definately not pleasant, so STFU. Do you think it&#39;s ok for people to be bullied at work? Because this is exactly what you seem to be condoning.

Why don&#39;t you get off your high horse and don&#39;t presume to think everyone should find another job when this sort of thing is happening. It&#39;s simple enough to &#39;pass the buck&#39;, but that&#39;s not what being a citizen is all about.

Why do you think Equal Opportunites is so widely used in businesses?

Idiot <_<

[j2k4]

Originally posted by delphin460@7 April 2004 - 23:19


j2k4 dont be a wanker , this is the place , if she didnt want 2 sides of debate and she just wanted to be patronised, then why post on a public forum.

and as i said we only have one side to her story, how can you even take such a one eyed stance on this situation yourself ,

Get of your high horse yourself tosser and take a look at like from both sides
it takes two to make an arguement
Two-faced?

Wanker?

Tosser?

I haven&#39;t ridden a high horse (nor a short one) in many years.

I plead not guilty to all of it.

Debates, and arguments likewise, require, at a minimum, two participants; in this you are quite correct.

However, she asked for advice, not a debate, nor an argument.

You might consider getting off that ass you&#39;re riding and re-read the thread, sir.

I advise you to mend your ways before the the lady returns. ;)

[shn]

http://www.me.mtu.edu/~nsshirey/images/go_postal.jpg

[j2k4]

Originally posted by shn@7 April 2004 - 23:36
http://www.me.mtu.edu/~nsshirey/images/go_postal.jpg
Wait for it.

It&#39;ll come.... :D

BTW-A "nifty title"?

How about "Delightfully Debauched"? :lol:

[delphin460]

advise you to mend your ways before the the lady returns.

does this mean you want me to change what i think to please her, i think not

its my opinion and i am allowed that&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33; right or wrong

[bigboab]

Sarah&#33; Been there, done that, wore the &#39;T&#39; shirt. Take the advice of J2 and I. sit tight do your work and log everything. Right will out. :)

[j2k4]

Originally posted by delphin460@8 April 2004 - 02:04

advise you to mend your ways before the the lady returns.

does this mean you want me to change what i think to please her, i think not

its my opinion and i am allowed that&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33; right or wrong
Okay.

One more time, then.

What you describe as a strategy would have been our Sara&#39;s first option; that is to say, she&#39;s already tried it your way, and it hasn&#39;t worked.

That is why she is soliciting advice (NOT DEBATE OR ARGUMENT).

Besides which, the focus of this thread is a helpful solution to her difficulty, nor your bloody right of expression or your opinion.

Why don&#39;t you start a thread promoting your opinions and rights, and see how many of us try to step on your action?

Oh, and just so we&#39;re ultra-clear, to answer your question: "WRONG"; in this thread, anyway.

[sArA]

Originally posted by Samurai@8 April 2004 - 06:03
sara5564,

Where are you from? I have experience in Employment Law but only in the UK. Laws may differ slightly from country to country.

If you&#39;re in need of some guidance, I&#39;d be more than happy to help.
Thanks Samurai, I am based in the UK too.

Today, I sent a proposal to her for an increased but more realistic timeframe based on the opinion of others at various levels. I cc&#39;d it to other relevant people.

I am away all of next week so I will have to wait and see the outcome of that.

Personnel told me today that I was doing everything right, so its down to her to be reasonable. If she is, to save face and stuff, then things could work out ok.

@Delphin

I respect your views and in general agree with much of what you had to say.

I am your age and have worked in a wide range of jobs. This experience I can assure you is different.

I would just appreciate it if you could be a little less judgemental and a little more constructive in your comments.