hippychick
06-23-2004, 03:42 AM
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
* Indubitably
* Preliminary
* Proliferation
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK * Specificity
* Antidisestablishmentarianism
* Loquacious
* Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
* Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
* Nope, no more booze for me
* Sorry, but you're not really my type
* Oh, no, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
NEW Alcohol Warnings
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING:
The crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tink you can tipe reel gude.
* Indubitably
* Preliminary
* Proliferation
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK * Specificity
* Antidisestablishmentarianism
* Loquacious
* Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
* Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
* Nope, no more booze for me
* Sorry, but you're not really my type
* Oh, no, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
NEW Alcohol Warnings
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING:
The crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tink you can tipe reel gude.