Help Me. I Am Confused.

[Spindulik]

Please help me. I am confused because I think I am in bad shape, yet in good shape. According to my most recent e-mail topics, I need to lose weight, a lot of it. My wrinkles are so bad, I have a discount offer for new medication. My baldness needs attention too. My debt is piling up, but the good news is, that I can refinance my mortgage. My car is in need of being replaced, someone was so kind to offer me a car at the lowest rates possible. My health care apparently isn't up to par, so I guess I can buy some discount cigarettes and listen to my free Cd's. My love life is down, everyone keeps hinting that I need to "spice it up". Too bad, I missed my opportunity to buy some VIAGRA at discount prices, even then, my knob is too small to begin with. I need legal aid for divorce. I should claim some FREE cash and get help now. I am pale and need a tan. Evident ally my current cell phone is not good enough, they tell me I can get a free one. I never have to buy ink again, for my printer and somebody is looking forward to hire me. I guess I need a discount vacation and more rest.

--------------------
In reality, I am happily married with children. I have ZERO debt. I am good looking with no wrinkles. I am in perfect health. I have 3 cars paid for. I live in an apartment so I need no mortgage. I have enough cash to buy a house without payments. All credit cards that have are ZERO balance. I use ink refill kits. I have all of the CD'S I want. I have no need for VIAGRA (probably need something for the opposite). I have more hair than my barber has ever seen, so I am not balding. I don't gamble at casinos. The cell phone that I have is fine. AND I DON'T NEED TO SHED POUNDS!

Here's a sample of my e-mail per week. About 1% is seen here. Listsed by random choice.
- Claim your DVD
- $50.00 gift certificate
- FREE INK
- Credit Counseling
- SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT
- Affordable Health Insurance
- Nokia Cell Phone at NO Cost
- Discount Cigarettes
- Mortgage Quotes - 1 Minute Preapproval
- Viagra, at discount prices
- Car Loans
- Re: Hello
- Debt Piling Up?
- Claim your Free Cash!
- Interest rates are at 40-year lows
- Get Your Free Healthcare Quote Now
- Get Twelve CDs for the Price of One with membership
- Find Your One True Love!
- HAIR LOSS? GET REAL!
- Don't Be Alone Another Evening
- Wrinkles diminishing patches...Free Trial.
- Extend Your Auto warranty
- small knob, no more...
- Printer Ink up to 85% OFF RETAIL
- Looking-For Work We're Hiring
- Fill your house with DirecTV
- Stop dreaming and start travelling now sgs
- VlSA reserved for Patrick - lnstant APPROVAL - takes 3O seconds
- Home Invasion Protection
- Erase The Cellulite!
- Shed pounds the Asian way
- 100% Match Bonus At High Rollers Club Casino
- Your bank account is closed!
- Young Teen posing on cam
- Give Your Child The Best Books
- Free $50 Gift Card to Dairy Queen
- Secret Divorce Planning for Men
- Get Tan, without side effects
- Sleep easy, read this
- FREE Brand New Motorola I60 flip phone

[sparsely]

that's what junk filters are for. :rolleyes:

[Spindulik]

Originally posted by Sparsely@9 July 2004 - 15:03
that's what junk filters are for. :rolleyes:
Yeah, that list is from my YAHOO! bulk mail, but once in a while a REAL e-mail gets listed past the filter.